Missy's Gentle Giant

by P D Miller

  Missy snuggled up close to him. Oh, how she loved this man. It just didn’t seem right he wouldn’t want his own child—no their child—a part of each of them. Tears lurked behind her eyes. Well, she’d do what he wanted to keep him happy. After all, he meant everything to her. His happiness was the only thing she wanted. So what if he didn’t want children? So what if they lived in a huge house all alone? She’d just love him and make him happy.

  “Honey, is something wrong?” He rubbed the back of her neck.

  “No, I guess I’m just missing Mama and Papa.” She half sat, kissed his nipple and showed her dimples. “Not used to being away from everyone.”

  “We can go back if you want.” He smiled.

  She shook her head. “Nope, you promised you’d take me to see the USS Arizona today. And tomorrow we planned on seeing the new shopping mall.” She pulled away and rose. “Come on lazy, you just want to stay in bed.”

  “I like staying in bed with you.” He grinned. “Besides, you don’t want to see a shopping mall. You know I want to look at the design.” He lifted himself from the bed.

  “So you think you know everything? I want to look for something special for you.”

  “Like what?”

  “I don’t know yet, but will you buy it when I find it?” She teasingly reached down and threw a pillow at him when he lunged for her.

  “Damn!” The pillow caught him in the stomach. “Of course I’ll buy it if you’ll quit beating on me.”

  The next day they spent most of their time at Pearl Harbor. When they were standing on the monument over the USS Arizona, Ben felt a surge of communion with the men who had died there. Flashes of a friend who had died in Iraq passed before him. Captain Hennington, the father of six kids. He’d been a happy go lucky kind of guy who never took any chances—not like Ben. He’d been shot while saving a couple of kids. He died in Ben’s arms a couple of hours later with a smile on his face saying, “I saved them. Their mother and father, wherever they are will be thankful some day because something of them grew up.” Why did his words stick in Ben’s throat and bring tears to his eyes? Hennington saved the kids all right, and the next day they went to an orphanage.

  Missy was solemn too. She watched Ben’s eyes dance and tear and could imagine what he was thinking. Once she thought he might want to be alone, but when she tried to casually walk away and look at something else, he followed her and pulled her into his arms.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I was just thinking about a couple of guys who died while I was in Iraq.”

  “Ben, if you’d died like they did, I wouldn’t have you today.”

  “I know; I was lucky. So many guys weren’t. Some had a hell of a lot to lose too.”

  The next day they went to the new mall. It was the only “business” Ben attempted. His designer’s mind had whirled when he first saw it, but he’d put off seeing it. Missy knew he wanted to wander around and look, maybe even talk to the owners and ask them some questions, but Ben stayed close to her.

  She stopped in front of an exclusive store. “Why don’t you give me one of your credit cards and let me go wild in here?”

  “Go wild?” He grinned.

  “Mm, you know, buy something for everyone in the family and maybe some pretty things for myself.”

  “Sure, but I don’t mind staying with you.”

  “But I do. I was hoping you’d let me do some shopping alone for a couple of hours.”

  “Oh, you were?” His eyes brightened. Quickly he pulled out his billfold and handed it to her. “Then your wish is my command.” He bowed graciously. Because of his size, several heads whirled around to stare at him. Missy laughed, and he grinned with embarrassment. “Tell you what, I’ll meet you at the pizza place in the center in three hours.”

  “Deal.” She grinned and watched him take off. Yes, he’d wanted to go and talk to some people about the mall’s design. She was glad she’d sent him.

  Three hours later Missy dropped in a chair at the pizza place and gratefully sipped a coke. Ben wasn’t there yet. She leaned back and closed her eyes with a smile.

  “Hey lady, are you looking for a pickup?” Ben kissed her nose. He grinned wider.

  “Sure; and you?” Her dimples flashed as she motioned for him to get the other coke.

  “I’m looking for a pick up.” He gave her a lecherous gleam and sipped on the straw.

  “You’ve come to the right place.” She moaned dramatically. “My feet are killing me.”

  “I don’t see why; doesn’t look like you bought anything.” He glanced around.

  “Wait until we go pick up what they’re holding at the store and you get the bill.” She smiled. “Think we could get a big rig on the plane?”

  “Don’t tell me you bought the damn mall.” He slapped his hand to his forehead dramatically.

  “Nope, just two or three stores.”

  Later Ben’s mouth dropped open as he stared at the small mountain of things Missy had bought. “We’ll have to rent a separate plane, you know.”

  “Really? You’re not angry; are you?” She glanced up seriously. “If you don’t want these—”

  “Honey, I’m just kidding.” He pulled her close in a hug and left instructions for everything to be delivered to their plane. She held onto one large, flat package.

  Missy dropped tiredly on the bed when they finally got to their suite.

  “Did you enjoy talking to them about the mall today?”

  “Mm, you knew I wanted to; didn’t you?” He bent down and kissed her nose.

  “Yep.” She kissed his chin.

  “Did you enjoy shopping?” He brushed back her hair.

  “Yep, I bought Mama—oh gosh—oh—” She jumped up from the bed and went to the other room.

  “Oh oh?” He sat up startled.

  “I forgot something.” Frantically she searched for her purse, sighed when she spotted it, pulled out a small jeweler’s box and picked up the large package. “I got something for you.” Slowly she handed him the large package, watched him open it and pull out the picture frame upside down. When he turned it over, she saw him swallow hard and tears come to his eyes.

  “There was this photo place near where you left me—” She shook and looked down at the jeweler’s box in her hand. “I just wanted you to know I understand how losing Connie was like part of you dying. They didn’t ruin the little picture; in fact, they made several copies and laminated a couple so you’ll always—” She glanced up and saw tears spilling down Ben’s cheeks.

  “Honey, it’s the most thoughtful, nicest gift—” He set the picture of Connie aside, reached out and pulled her into his arms. “I guess since you’ve got twin brothers you can understand how close we were. She was like half of me. I even felt responsible for her because she was always sick and I was—” He kissed Missy’s hair. “You’re the only one who’s been able to take away the emptiness she left and given me happiness.” He pulled her down on top of him as he lay back. All of a sudden the other gift seemed worth nothing. Missy dropped the jeweler’s box and threw her arms around Ben.

  Lovemaking was peaceful and wonderful for them that night. Ben forgot all about protection, and when they returned from their secret place, they held onto each other and slept until the phone awakened them.

  “Yes?” Ben was still half asleep. He sat bolt upright when he heard Gonzalo. “Just a second.” He turned to Missy. “Honey—”

  Missy turned pale as she took the receiver. “Yes?”

  “Mom didn’t want me to call, but Pop’s in the hospital. He fractured his hip.”

  “How?” Missy watched Ben start dressing. As he pulled his pants closed, he threw a dress on the bed for her.

  “Tell them we’ll be there as soon as we can.” He frowned.

  “You know Pop. He didn’t like the way the roofer was doing the repairs Ben ordered on the house, so he climbed up to give them directions of his own.”

  “And he fell.” It wasn’t a
question. Missy saw Ben taking their things from the closet, dropping them on the bed. She swallowed hard. “Ben said we’ll be there as soon as we can.”

  “Missy, he’s doing okay. I just thought you should know. You don’t have to—”

  “Yes I know, but we’re coming anyway.” Missy dropped the receiver. There was no question about it. Ben didn’t need to be asked if they could cut their planned two week honeymoon short. “Gonzalo said Papa just fractured his hip. If you don’t want to go, I can—”

  “Your mother and father will want you there.” His face showed no expression as he picked up the phone. “Get dressed while I make arrangements.”

  Just before they left the suite, Ben took one last look around, noticed the jeweler’s box, scooped it up and dropped it into his pocket.

  Two hours later, right after the jet was safely in the air and they had unfastened their seat belts, Missy remembered the little box she’d dropped on the floor. As a gift it no longer seemed significant, might have made him angry even, but she chewed her nails wondering what Ben would think when the bill for it came. Ben saw her worried eyes, thought it was for her father and pulled her close.

  “Everything’s going to be all right.”

  “Yes, I know.” Her worried expression remained.

  Sometime after they refueled in California, Missy dropped off to sleep and Ben went to see Pete. He made arrangements for all their luggage to be sent to the house, arranged for a car to meet the plane, called to see which hospital her father was in, double checked to be sure everything was taken care of and then went back to lie down with Missy. Damn, he hated to see her hurting.

  Late that evening when they landed, a car zipped up to the plane and Ben helped Missy down the steps. Less than twenty minutes later an elevator door opened to show a waiting room filled with nine guys taking up all the chairs. Gonzalo jumped up.

  “Man, Pop will really feel better now with you here.” He hugged Missy.

  “Take her to see him.” Ben turned toward her other brothers and smiled. After warm greetings all around, Ben stationed himself in front of a window. How would he feel if they called him saying his mother or father needed help? It had been running through his mind all the way back. As much as he disliked it, he could see how he’d closed his family out of his life. Oh, they’d done their own things to cause it too. But maybe it was the only way they knew how to react to what happened to them. And had he looked at them, judged them and rejected them because of his reaction? Never once had he ever doubted his parents loved him. No, they just seemed caught up in living through what had been handed to them and doing their own things. Even though he’d rebelled and done everything his father hadn’t wanted, his father had still been there when he needed him recently. Never had either parent said there wasn’t love for him. And he was a part of them. Connie had been a part of them too.

  “Thanks for bringing Missy home.” Gonzalo smiled. “Pop wanted me to tell you.”

  Startled at being drawn from his thoughts, Ben whirled around and smiled. “Yeah, well this honeymoon of ours has been a learning experience. We’ve both done a lot of growing.”

  When Missy came back half an hour later saying her mother needed to go home and rest and she’d volunteered to stay with her father, Ben hesitated only a second. He was worried about Missy being too tired after the flight but understood how she felt. Secretly he was thankful when Gonzalo said he’d stay and Ben and she could take Mrs. Sanchez home. At the house, Ben dropped on the sofa feeling useless as Missy got her mother up to bed. With his eyes closed, his soul searching continued while he heard the brothers come in and slowly go up to bed. He remembered the jewel box and dug his hand into his pocket. Pulling it out, he opened it slowly. His eyes glistened when he saw the bracelet. Missy had “Ben ~ Connie” engraved on it—had wanted to give it to him as a special gift.

  Missy thought Ben was asleep when she finally dropped on the sofa beside him.

  “Everyone’s fine. Do you want to go home?” She brushed his hair.

  “You’re not needed?”

  “It would probably help if I came back early and cooked breakfast so Mama can sleep, but no, not now.”

  “Do you want to stay here?” He pulled her close.

  “My bed’s too short for you and besides, we can’t—”

  “It’s okay.” He shifted. “Find me a pillow and I’ll sleep down here on the sofa.”

  “No, I want to sleep with you.” She whispered.

  “Then lead the way to your room.” He grinned. All he wanted was to see her get some rest. She looked peaked and worn out.

  While Ben pulled back the covers and set the alarm, Missy undressed. Her cheeks colored when she put on a nightgown. Ben understood and smiled. He undressed but stayed in his boxers and climbed under the sheet beside her. Nudity was a special thing they could only share in their own home alone. He pulled her around until she was on her tummy, and he rubbed her back and neck until he was sure she was asleep. Then carefully he curled his body around hers, moved her and molded her against him as he bent up to fit onto her bed. She didn’t know how much she’d given him this past twenty-four hours, and all of it was something money could never buy. He closed his eyes as he drew her closer and made a mental list of things he needed to do the next day.

  Over breakfast Ben insisted Marco take Missy and her mother to the hospital saying he really needed to check in at work and see how things were going. When Missy worried about him finding her, he shrugged. “Honey, you really don’t need to worry. All I have to do is look for a herd of six or more guys.” They all laughed, including Missy. He kissed her thoroughly before he left with a wide smile.

  Ben went home first. He called his secretary and set up a meeting with his foreman for the afternoon. Then he called his father. They talked for a long time, ending the conversation on promises Ben would visit as soon as his mall was finished. He called his mother next. There was no doubt she was glad to hear his voice. In fact, she cried. Suddenly it became imperative for Ben to see them. He asked his mother if she’d be there the next day, said he’d fly up if she’d stick around; then he called his father back and made the same arrangement. His next call was to Pete for flight arrangements. Even though he wanted to take Missy, he knew she’d be busy, and this was something he needed to do alone. His last call was to the doctor. He set up an appointment for a vasectomy in two weeks. It meant he’d have to find some excuse for not making love for a while after the operation, but he didn’t want Missy to know. Why should she have to take pills when it bothered her? And if they just happened to never have children? He could pretend not knowing even have tests showing he was sterile, and then she’d be able to accept adopting children.

  All day Missy sat in the chair in her father’s room and worried. What would she do if she was already pregnant? It was the last thing Ben wanted. But she’d never been late before. She chewed her thumb. Just after five she looked up when she heard the door swish open and saw Ben’s bright smile.

  “Brought your mother to take over for a few hours.”

  Missy rose, kissed her mother, went to kiss her sleeping father and went to Ben. “I love you.” She whispered. He had such a bright smile on his face; it was like he was free of some hidden pain.

  “I know.” He mashed his forehead against hers. “I love you too. Come. I’ll take you to dinner.”

  “Is something wrong?” An hour later, she stared into the wine glass and wondered why he’d brought her to such an exclusive place.

  “No, love, everything’s wonderful.” He reached out, took the glass from her and rubbed her hand.

  “Then why the special dinner here?”

  “I just wanted to get you alone and explain something.” He looked down at her hand.

  Missy stiffened. “What?”

  “I know it’s probably the lousiest time in the world for you, but I need to go out of town tomorrow.” The muscles in his cheeks rippled.

  “Something with business
?”

  “No, it’s personal. Missy, I don’t know how to explain, but I called my parents today. My dad seemed glad I called. My mother cried. I—I told them I’d fly up there tomorrow—”

  “Oh Ben, I think it’s wonderful.” Her eyes misted but her dimples showed their deepest.

  “Then you’re not angry? I wanted you to meet them but—”

  “Oh no, I think it’s wonderful—perfect timing even. I’ll stay at home with Mama. Ben give them a chance.”

  “Yeah, I think I will.” He swallowed hard. “Yes, I think I will.”

  When Ben took Missy home, new and different emotions swept through him. This was their home, their bedroom. It had been lonely and empty without her. But when she was with him he could see a future. Wantonly she called for him to come to her, and he did, forgetting again about protection. Instead he tasted her and smelled her freshness, felt her warm assuring breath and reveled in her tasting him. Every cell on his body came alive with joining her, and when he entered, the painful pleasure was too much to bear. Oh damn, feeling her depths! They soared off into timeless space. Peace came again.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Although it wasn’t necessary, Gonzalo took Ben to the airport and assured him he’d take care of Missy. Ben touched the bracelet in his pocket and hefted the picture Missy had given him with a worried grin when he climbed on the plane. His smile died as nervousness grabbed at him the minute the door to the jet closed. Rather than sit in the back of the plane, he went up front and listened to Pete’s banter to keep from thinking too much. He felt like half of him had stayed behind, but this was something he must do.

  When the plane landed in New York, Ben was surprised to see both his mother and father waiting for him. He hadn’t told them both he planned to see them, so he was surprised they communicated. He was shaking when he got off the plane.