"I don't shoot heroin," said Cambria.
"Just an expression, dear." Vicki’s saber-tooth smile flickered. "I'd say it's none of my business, but that's all changed, hasn't it?"
* * *
The patio overlooked a pool with an inset Jacuzzi and waterfall. A low stone wall framed a stunning vista of Black Pine Lake and the Blue Ridge in the horizon. I didn't know you could have a view of anything but the lake and Black Pine Mountain, but of course, Vicki would have the best view in town. I hoped Vicki flipped this rental for one back on the West Coast as quickly as she burned through our California addresses.
Taking my focus off a view that would convince most people never to leave, I downed three glasses of key lime, mint, and parsley infused water and waited for the power trio to appear. Could have done without the parsley, but the detox did refresh my brain. As I saw it, I had a new problem. Several.
A possible dead body. The body wasn't Cambria but looked exactly like Cambria. Not exactly new but a new take on a fresh problem.
Vicki seemed determine to get cozy with my client. There was an algebraic formula for this sort of thing, and it equaled Vicki and me working together. Something I vowed never to do again.
Also, I had nothing to wear to Theodore's party. A new and fresh problem since I've arrived in Black Pine. Nevertheless, completely unoriginal and a bit inappropriate.
I tore apart the parsley garnish considering the unlucky girl's plight. How and why had she been in Cam-Cam's cottage? Was it an overdose like I first assumed of Cambria? If she had been making a "private video" as she said, was the girl a part of it?
My stomach rolled. I choked back parsley, lime, and mint-flavored reflux. Not going to ride that thought.
What if no one was looking for this double? The police wouldn't have any recourse to search for her, other than my testimony. It seemed Nash didn't believe me either. I shoved the water away and grabbed a monogrammed paper napkin to dab my eyes. That poor girl.
If she was dead. Maybe Nash was right, and she wasn't.
But say she was. A dead body was really going to “shit up” Leonard's movie. And I was supposed to stop that from happening. A dead body equaled a huge, expensive problem for the film and everyone related. Also, a major issue for Black Pine Resort. They'd do anything to stop dead-body-in-their-villa-type news from spreading. And the city would also hate it. They'd cajoled the TV and film industry into parking their trailers in Black Pine instead of another Georgia town, like Madison or Senoia. A dead body would cost them a fortune in spin control and hurt their ranking in all those safe and beautiful city lists that enticed location scouts.
Problems were not new to me, Wyatt Nash, or Nash Security Solutions. But the resort, town, and film industry could put us out of business for good. When it came to the blame game, the weakest player always loses. And there was no doubt in my mind, who would get blamed for a dead body screwing up Leonard's big blockbuster release before it even filmed. Not Cambria, even if this was her dead body. Cambria, her agent, and new manager would all have the best attorneys on retainer. Vicki had her lawyer on speed dial.
Come to think of it, maybe leaving these problems to the police — when they finally found evidence other than my memory — wasn't such a good idea. We needed to get a fix on this new, missing body — Hello Maizie, stop calling her a body — and figure out what's going on before slipping the news to Leonard Shackleton, Tinseltown, and Black Pine.
That thought, so fresh and new, burned as bright as the neon sign in the Dixie Kreme Donut Shop window. I was still going to have to tell Leonard Shackleton that Cam-Cam had housed a dead body. Ugh.
No more Mr. Nice-to-Cambria-guy. I needed to put the screws to that girl. Hottest celeb of the week or not, it was her villa and her dead doppelganger.
Craptastic.
Vicki, Dahlia, and Cambria sauntered onto the slate patio. I felt another wave of key lime, mint, and parsley-infused nausea. I swallowed hard and stood. "We should bounce. And Cam-Cam, we need a confab. A mucho serious confab."
"They haven't rehydrated. Really, Maizie," said Vicki. "Who takes a sauna and doesn't hydrate? Do you want to put them in the hospital?"
"I'm fine, but this does look great." Dahlia eased into a chair, scooting back on the plump pillows. "Gorgeous view, Vicki."
"Thank you. The North Georgia Mountains do have some appeal. Of course, nothing like my Hollywood Hills vista. But one must make do." Vicki did the gaze-into-the-distance-for-effect pause. "Maizie, the contract you signed with Leonard? I need to look it over and understand exactly what you are doing for Cambria."
"Why? You don't take care of my contracts anymore. It's between Mr. Shackleton and Nash Security Solutions."
"It's not for you. It's for Cambria." She handed a water to Cambria and eyed my tattered parsley. "Don't gape, Maizie. You know how it pulls the skin to create lip lines."
I snapped my mouth shut, repeated one of Renata's self-actualization mantras, and realized Vicki's interest in Cam-Cam might have a source other than hurting me. "Did they cancel the show?"
Cambria who had been enjoying our parlay from her patio chair slouch raised an eyebrow. "They canceled All is Albright? It wasn't in the trades."
"No," said Vicki. "I don't know where that's coming from. The show continues as usual. But now that I'm not representing Maizie, at least at the moment…"
"Anymore," I interrupted. "Ever."
"At the moment," she continued. "I have time to help Cambria. Oh, maybe you, too, Dahlia, dear. And still produce the show. And do my appearances on the show, of course."
Shizzlation. My worst fear confirmed. If Cambria is involved with a dead body, Vicki would be involved with a dead body. "No. You can't do that."
Vicki's simper curled into a sneer. "Really, Maizie. I haven't seen this side of you since you were six."
"It's just not a good idea. At the moment." I scrambled for a better answer. "I'm hired to watch Cambria, so you should wait until I find—I'm done watching her. It's like a conflict of interest. Yes, it's a total conflict. Of interest."
"You don't want Cambria to have professional and personal assistance at this juncture of her career? Right when she's headed for a peak?" said Vicki. "I thought you cared what happens to Cambria."
"No. That's not it. You always twist things."
"I don't understand your issue either, Maizie," said Dahlia. "Vicki was super awesome at helping your career when you screwed it upside-down and backward. Why won't you let her help us?"
"Cam-Cams doesn't need Vicki for that. She has me." The parsley water was doing nothing to cool the heat rushing through my body. "I'm here to make sure she doesn't shit up Leonard's film."
Cambria beautiful lips pursed.
"Jealous much?" said Dahlia.
"Maizie," said Vicki. "I didn't raise you to be rude. Apologize to Cambria."
"OMG." I flapped the Zobha tank. "That's not how I meant it."
"Really? Because you sound like an ungracious brat."
"Vicki. You just can't manage Cambria right now. Stick with Dahlia. No offense, Dahlia." I leaned toward Cambria and muttered, "You know why she can't. Sex romp turned ugly? Ring a bell?"
Cambria rolled her eyes and turned to Vicki. "I want her off the insurance deal, or whatever Leonard used to hire her."
Frigalotious. Or maybe that's exactly why Cambria wanted Vicki to help her. Maybe Cambria thought Vicki wouldn't have any qualms about covering up a dead twinster.
Holy hells balls.
"Contract," I stuttered. "We have a contract. Vicki can't break the contract. The insurance company insisted on it."
"Then I want to be watched by Mr. Nash and not you."
"Oh, hells to the no. Nash is not going to go for that." Did I just say that out loud? I glanced at Vicki who had that mockingly triumphant look. Like when she scored a great ad set for the show during Sweeps Week.
Dammit. I don't know what Vicki wanted from this, but she had somehow gotten it.
> "I suggest you back off," said Vicki. "And convince Nash to submit."
"He doesn't do submission."
"Even better," purred Cambria.
"Oh my God." I grabbed my water and swigged, tasted parsley, and spit it back in the glass. I glanced at my bare wrist. Why didn't I wear a watch? "I'm sure it's late. We need to jet. Cambria's got a reading today."
"Oh me, too." Dahlia hopped from the chair and strode toward the door, stretching. "But drop me off at the lake. I'm going to Iron Man swim before I get ready."
Cambria rose and stretched, yawning.
"Do you want me to come to the reading, Cambria?" said Vicki. "I'll just take a minute to shower and throw something on. I could take you."
Cambria took her time, moving away from the table and strolling toward the French doors. "Oh sweetie, no worries. I'll call when I need you."
Sweetie? Dumbfounded, I swiveled my gaze between Cambria's exit and Vicki's frozen half-turn.
"This stays here. And you will apologize," Vicki hissed at me, then marched toward the mixed-stone castle.
What stayed here? Vicki taking Cambria as a client? Or Vicki letting Cambria call her "Sweetie?"
I couldn't tell who was the better actress in this scenario. Cambria pretending she didn't know about the body in her villa. Or Vicki's about-face attitude with Cambria.
Or Dahlia. No one could love exercise that much.
* * *
After dropping Dahlia off for her Iron Man swim — "You should totally try it. I'm rock hard. Do you want to feel my abs?" — Cambria settled back into the leather seat and closed her eyes. I glanced at the driver, wondering if his paycheck included spying for Vicki. Very likely.
"Cam-Cam," I said. "You're in trouble."
She opened one eye, then closed it. "Let me meditate. I've got to rush my prep for the reading as it is."
"Are you going to sign a contract with her?" Oops, that wasn't the question I wanted to ask.
She opened both eyes. The famous lips curled. "I thought you weren't jealous."
"You know that's not it. You can't involve Vicki with your extracurricular bedroom activities."
"Give me a break." Cambria sat up and turned toward me. "But what bothers you more? That she's taking on more clients or that you're not one?"
"She's my mother."
"Which makes it better or worse?"
Honestly, I wasn't sure.
"I think you want back in." Cambria smirked.
"Look, I do not and cannot have any interest in returning to acting. Or any talent-related work."
"You're working for Leonard Shackleton now."
"Yes, but I'm not talent." I ignored her snort and continued. "I know who was in your cottage yesterday. And before this blows up, you better come clean."
She flopped back on the seat and closed her eyes. "It's none of your business. "
"What were you doing? Some avant-garde, underground, indie grindhouse thing? Or was it just a hard party that went wrong? How could you jeopardize your career with this? You're on the brink of hugeness. Tell me so I can figure out what to do to help you."
"I'm flattered you think it's art," she mumbled.
"That's like the total opposite of what I'm saying."
"And here's what I'm saying. You're getting paid to watch, not talk. It sounds like you've done enough watching. Now shut up so I can meditate."
"Oh my God. Don't you know you're on a sinking ship?"
"Sink this." She flipped me off and unzipped her bag. "If Pine Hollow is sinking, it's going to sink like Titanic."
"Exactly."
"The movie, not the ship, idiot. You're one to lecture about jeopardizing careers. Just like when were kids, you're still playing the part, whereas I'm living it." Rolling her eyes, she slipped headphones over her ears, crossed her arms, and refused to speak the rest of the ride.
Ten
#TitanicFail #AssistantToTheAssistant
Cambria also refused to let me in the cottage while she showered. I sat in the golf cart and thought about the real Titanic and my relationship to impending doom. After a few minutes of panicked shallow breathing, I scurried to the side of the cottage, righted my log, and climbed aboard. Cambria's bedroom looked as before minus the body and camera equipment. Where had the equipment gone? I needed to find out who else had been involved in her private film session.
Cambria exited the bathroom, her hair freshly swept into a purposefully bedraggled bun. She leaned over to grab her Phillip Lim platforms. As I admired her choice in footwear, Cambria's head jerked upright, sighting the window. I ducked and fell off the log.
This time, I tucked and didn't smack my head. I was learning.
I drove Cambria to a waiting Lincoln which drove us to a warehouse redesigned as a studio. She strode past me, middle finger extended, heels smacking the pavement. The studio's door opened, and Leonard Shackleton emerged. He greeted Cambria with a hug and air kiss, then beckoned me to the door.
Sighing, I trudged to the warehouse. "Good morning, Mr. Shackleton."
"Work out with Cambria, did you? She's in fighting form." He eyed my Zobha togs. "You look like Georgia agrees with you. That's fresh to see in a woman these days. Healthy."
Fresh and healthy. I pulled on my tank, wishing I'd remembered to bring a change of clothes to Vicki's. "You should know, Cambria's not cool with my supervision. She stopped talking to me."
"She just told me she wants Mr. Nash to take over your job." Leonard smiled.
"Mr. Nash doesn't—" I caught myself. "Mr. Nash has another case he's working on. I need to continue with Cam-Cam. Despite how she feels. I can handle her."
"I admire your moxie." His eyes ran over my Zobha. "I admire many of your qualities."
An acting background was handy in situations such as this. Like when you wanted to gag and not smile. "So you'll override Cam-Cam's wishes on who gets to babysit?"
"For now. But who can blame Cambria? No adult wants to be thought of as unaccountable," said Leonard. "However, she did this to herself. Why do you think her agent is here? He's sitting on her, too. Alvin Murphy gets a percentage of her percentage. There's not been this kind of nail-biting on a star's delivery since Lohan's return. I hired you because she needs a friend, not a babysitter."
"Cambria's not feeling friendly. She's hiring a new manager. I thought you could tell her to wait on that. I don't want the manager to interfere with…my job."
"No, a manager's good. More eyes on her the better. Cambria's showing she's serious about her career. "
According to what I saw yesterday, she didn't seem that serious about her career. She needed more than a manager to make amends for a dead body double. She needed a jailer.
Oh, boy. I was the jailer. Unless, like, she went to jail for real. And blew her mongo contract. Would she take Vicki down with her?
"It sounds like Cambria's hoping to use the manager for a PR cleanup," I said.
"Excellent." Leonard beamed. "I hope this is due to your influence."
"Sort of." In the most craptastic of ways, it was my influence that got Vicki involved with Cambria. "But I really think Cambria should wait. There's been an incident already. Before I started yesterday. I want to get it straightened out, but Cambria isn't ’fessing to what happened. Maybe she doesn't know, but I can't be sure. And I can't tell if the situation is serious or not."
The beam darkened. "What do you mean? Be clear."
"I thought I saw Cambria yesterday before dinner. In her cottage. But it wasn't her, just someone who looked like her. It appeared…bad. But I was the only one who saw it. I think. Did you hire a body double for the movie?"
"Shit. Check with casting," said Shackleton. "What did the double do? Do we need a PR cleanup?"
"Um, well, I'm not sure what she did. Or where she went. She looked…unconscious. But then disappeared?"
"Find out," hollered Shackleton. "Why are you still standing here? We've got Cambria covered in rehearsal. Come back when you find that doubl
e."
* * *
The warehouses had been outfitted with offices, workshops, meeting rooms, and sound stages. Behind the warehouses, production crews hammered and painted, putting the finishing touches on a spaceship and an old-timey still. Golf carts whizzed to and fro. A fixer laden with Starbucks guided me toward the pre-production offices.
I found an assistant to an assistant casting director and put the body double question to the test. Ms. Assistant Assistant, Janet Hillcrest, opened the extensive cast list on her MacBook. The body double hired for Cambria's scenes hadn't left LA. But after seeing her headshot and full body shot, I realized the double wasn't my double. No Florida birthmark. She'd been hired for her tush, not her face.
"Do you do a casting call for lookalikes?" I asked. "I'm trying to track one down."
"Sure. Especially if we need stand-ins for secondary units," said Janet. "There are agencies that specialize in celebrity lookalikes, but they're used more for party photo ops. We need actual actors. Sometimes we'll use impersonators. Most of them are really talented. They spend a lot of time developing their characters. But they only do classic stars or famous movie characters, so I don't pull from those agencies very often. I still have to pour through a lot of head shots, then audition."
"Did Cambria help you at all with the auditions? Meet with any of the doubles?"
"Cambria had final approval, but that was done through her agent." Janet slid her laptop to the side and cocked her head. "You're looking for a specific Cambria double."
I nodded. "Very specific. More of a celebrity lookalike than just a stand-in."
"Which agency?"
"A specific double, but we have no idea who they are."
"Then how do you know them?"
I wasn't going to say I only knew her by her butt birthmark. "Cambria knows her. I think."
"Cambria knows her lookalike but doesn't know her name?" Miss Assistant Assistant gave a thoughtful nod. Knowing someone without knowing someone was normal in our world. "Is she from LA? There are a lot of lookalike agencies out there."
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