"Possibly? But the lookalike was here in Black Pine."
"That's weird."
"Right?" Even more bizarre, she disappeared. And may be dead.
"Check with the Clone Star Agency. There's one in LA, but they also have an office in Atlanta."
"Awesome."
"Did you ask Cambria's agent? Maybe he hired her?"
"Alvin Murphy? Great idea. You're brilliant." I hugged Janet, breaking Nash's rule number two. But since the rule only applied to Nash, I gave Miss Assistant Assistant an extra squeeze.
Janet squeezed back. I took it as a sign to push my luck. "You don't suppose that while I'm here, we can look up the Clone Star Agency on your laptop?"
"Why not?" Janet clicked through her agency list to the Clone Star website. "This agency has celebrity impersonators and lookalikes. That means some are actors."
We paged through the characters in the Atlanta branch. No Cambria. "She hasn't done a memorable character yet. Maybe after Pine Hollow." Janet's eyes sparkled.
I recognized that sparkle. "A lot of people are banking on this movie."
Janet nodded. "Ed Farmer's considered a genius, but not very practical. He wanted to do as much on location as possible. The filming's out here, and the special effects are on the west coast. The CGI is going to cost a fortune. Development took ages. A lot of fighting between the producers and the studio over the budget. Then more fighting during preproduction between the producers, Ed, and the studio's writers. Ed didn't want to give up any creative control. They've already spent a ton just in development."
"But that's normal for a film."
"What's not normal is Ed insisting on Cambria as lead at any cost. He saw her on stage as Lady Macbeth and fell in love."
"Literally?"
"Iconically."
"Wow. I guess he really believes in her."
"Ed says she's a star. It could be a breakout for her, which will, in turn, make the film more popular. Then everyone's happy."
"But she's a risk. She's moving from stage to film via the party-hard highway. Who does that?"
Janet shrugged. "With risk, there's the chance for great reward. As long as she does her job during production, it'll pay off. At least that's what Ed says. Leonard's worried about the release. He needs her to be red carpet worthy. Leonard thinks a lot of about marketing. He's worked a lot of deals with foreign investors and banks to create a bigger budget than the studio investment to give more creative control to Ed."
"So Leonard believes in Ed and Ed believes in Cambria."
"Right." Janet cast her attention back to the website. "Hey, here's you. That's fun, right?"
I peered at the screen. "I guess they don't need my permission to impersonate me?"
"As long as whoever hires her knows she's not actually Maizie Albright."
"It's a little disturbing."
"It says she impersonates you as Julia Pinkerton and you in All is Albright."
"But All is Albright is a reality show. I'm not a character, I'm me."
"Reality show you." Janet clicked. "Looks like you can't hire her, she's booked."
"Why would I hire myself?"
"Haven't you ever wanted to be in two places at once?"
"A ringer." I thought about the woman in Cambria's room. "One might call it a dead ringer."
Janet squinted at the screen. "I don't think she looks that much like you."
Did Cam-Cam kill the ringer or did someone kill the ringer thinking it was Cambria? Unless the ringer wasn't actually dead, which brings me back to square one. "I'm very confused."
Janet gave me another hug, then pointed me toward the craft service room to “fuel my brain.”
I really liked Janet.
Eleven
#HipsterHangouts #SketchedOut
Cambria's agent, Alvin Murphy, said he'd meet me at the coffee shop, No Sleep Till. A new enterprise that had popped up in a strip mall near the warehouse area used by the studios. I assumed the Beastie Boys reference was for the industry peeps and not Black Pine, who (IMHO) wouldn't get a '80s rap hipster reference.
But maybe Black Pine did. These days, I didn't feel confident in understanding much. I wasn't even sure the Beastie Boys were in the '80s. Late Twentieth Century tends to blend.
I trotted into the cafe. Coffee was truly the Adderall of the beverage world. One sniff and I was buzzing. The shop had a real-faux Brooklyn vibe with the brick and plaster walls, wood floors, and an open rafter ceiling. Of course, this was also the look of Lamar's Dixie Kreme Donuts. Except that plaster was crumbling for real. Still, I felt a nostalgic thrill for my bygone hipster coffeehouse days.
Also for my Sesame Street cameo, although that was is in Astoria, not Brooklyn.
"How about a nitro cold brew?" The tatted barista leaned on the wooden counter and nodded at the glass display case. "And a donut?"
Hells to the shizzle, their donuts looked good. "What flavor is that?" I pointed at a donut decorated with sprinkles and an iced triple B.
"Bacon, banana, and Bavarian cream."
"Actual bacon sprinkles?" I had to check the tremble in my voice.
She nodded and pointed. "And those are maple, licorice, mocha whip. Rosemary, dark chocolate and salted caramel. Lemon, thyme, and green tea glaze. Coffee with Fruity Pebbles topping."
"How about a simple plain glazed? I've already donut imbibed today, but I like to support local businesses."
"Funny, we only have one of those left." She dropped it on a plate. "What else? Espresso, macchiato, or con panna? Or for coffee, we've got cold brew and Chemex."
I felt a twinge in my chest. I'd missed hearing words like "Chemex" and "con panna" in everyday conversation. At Daddy's, we had drip, but Daddy and Carol Lynn called it "coffee." At Lamar's, there was "decaf" or "regular." I held back a sniffle and placed a hand over the lump in my heart.
"Nitro. And make it a pint." I dropped my voice. "With sweetened condensed milk. And a float of half and half," then whispered, "and a double shot of pumpkin spice."
"The Thanksgiving Hangover? Good choice."
I spun around and checked for Vicki. She had a habit of showing up when I was at my weakest. No Vicki. And thankfully, no Jerry. He'd force extra pull-ups for ordering anything that had the words "sweetened" or "pumpkin spice" in the ingredients. However, I did spot Alvin Murphy.
Alvin gave me a quick smile and returned his attention to his phone.
Carrying my donut and coffee to Alvin's table, I noticed several people I knew from the old days. I wormed through the tables saying hello to a makeup artist who helped on the set of Julia Pinkerton, a gaffer from Kung Fu Kate, and an assistant from one of my TV movies, Kid Notorious. All working on different projects around Black Pine. Amazeballs.
"Hey, Maizie." Alvin set his phone on the table and greeted me with a handshake that ended with a cheek peck. By his grip, I assumed Alvin was serious about last night's Parkour remark. I usually didn't take extreme workout name dropping seriously.
"How are you?" said Alvin. "Still have that asshole Mickey for an agent?"
"Uh, no." I frowned. "But Mickey was really nice."
Alvin gave me a toothy smile and picked up his coffee mug. "Asshole in what he did for your career. I'm surprised Vicki Albright let you keep him on for so long. But then everyone knows Vicki repped you more than Mickey."
This was not how I wanted to start this conversation. I dropped into the barista chair across from Alvin and stirred my coffee. "I don't need representation anymore. That's the only reason I'm not with Mickey."
"Sure," said Alvin. "I heard about your legal drama. How lucky are you that Georgia has such a huge film industry? Although most of the work's down near Atlanta, Black Pine gives some nice incentives on top of the state's tax break."
"Real lucky." I held in a frustrated sigh. "So, so lucky."
"You look good."
I waited for him to say 'healthy,' but it didn't come. I straightened my shoulders, despite the tightness of my Saint
Laurent tee. "Thanks."
"How can I help? This is about Cambria, right? I know Leonard hired you."
"Did you hire Cambria a body double?"
He caught my meaning immediately. "Nah, she doesn't really need one out here. I guess Black Pine is too remote for the paparazzi. For now anyway."
"Does she have a friend or acquaintance who's a lookalike?"
"What's this about?"
"I thought I saw someone who looked like Cam-Cam yesterday. It wasn't Cambria."
"Saw someone…doing something I should know about?"
"Possibly." I lowered my voice. "It was in Cambria's cottage. She hinted she was doing an s-e-x tape."
"I think everyone in here can spell." Alvin leaned across the table, waved me closer, and I met him halfway. "Cambria told you that?" he murmured.
I nodded. "Do you know anything about this?"
"I know recently Cambria's batting a thousand when it comes to controlled substances and inappropriate behavior. But she also understands the fine line between what's forgivable in the public eye and what's not. At least, I'm pretty sure she does. She's a smart cookie. She has a lot of good ideas for publicity."
"I'm worried about her. She could blow this chance."
"She better not," said Alvin. "And you better see to it that she doesn't."
"I'm working on it. But I need help. I need names, Alvin."
He pulled away.
I leaned back to nibble on my donut.
Alvin glared at his phone and sipped his coffee, thinking.
"Her boyfriend is here. Actually, I don't know if he's her boyfriend." He rubbed his forehead. "I don't know what she calls him. They're not really public."
"Who is it?" I calmed the excitement in my voice. "Is he staying in the villa with her?"
"No." Alvin coughed. "Stunt guy. Orlando Feelzen."
"Orlando Feelzen?" I rolled his name over my tongue. "For real?"
Alvin shrugged. "You know how it is. Anyway, they hooked up on her last movie. She intro'ed him to casting for this one. Same ol' story."
I knew it well. But without the dead woman in my bedroom.
"Where's Orlando staying if he's not shacking up with Cambria?"
"At the resort. But in the hotel."
"Super." Convenient. I could look for Orlando while I canvassed the other guests. "I'm going to find him and see if I can get his help in getting Cambria to chill." And what he knows about his freaky girlfriend's possibly dead twin.
"Maizie." Alvin gathered my hands in his and gave me the super-serious-agent look. Mickey's favorite. "You know how much is riding on Cambria behaving herself. You're an insider. You know to keep everything on the down-low."
I nodded, wincing at the squeeze in his grip.
"I need your help. Need it, baby."
"Got it." I yanked my hands, but he held fast.
"I know Vicki had her thumb on you pretty tight over the years. And I've got a feeling that's made you want to break free."
I blinked. My meltdown rebellion was that obvious?
"You miss it?" Alvin studied me.
Why would I miss rebelling? I studied Alvin studying me. "Wait, miss what?"
"The life."
I cast an eye at my empty Thanksgiving Hangover glass and the crumbs from my "Kicking it Old School" donut. The cost of hipster food was high, the cost of my weekly lunch budget. (Worth it.) And realized Barney's near or far didn't matter on my weekly clothes budget which was zero-point-zero dollars. "Sometimes."
With a final hand squeeze, he drew away. "I thought so."
"I might miss the lifestyle. But not the attached strings." I dropped my hands in my lap to rub them back to life.
"You miss the money."
How embarrassing.
I shrugged one shoulder. "Money's nice. Especially when you don't have any."
"Vicki cleaned you out. We all figured." Alvin shook his head. "It's a lot easier climbing up than down. I grew up on the South Side of Chicago. I may be white, but it was the hood. Back in the old days, the Murphy's worked for the Capone's. Tough, old neighborhood. Know what I'm saying? I climbed out and couldn't imagine going back. You've had it made for so long, this must be a struggle for you."
"My car was repo'd, and now I ride a dirt bike to work." I sighed. "It's a good thing my probation doesn't allow me on social media because I can't afford a smart phone."
"Do yourself a favor. Do a good job. Keep this issue quiet. Make Cambria happy. Make Leonard happy. There'll be a big reward in it for you, and I know," he tapped the table, "I am certain, your boss will be given some sweet contracts in the future. You'd like that, right?"
Of course, I'd love to win Nash sweet contracts. Personally and professionally.
He smiled at my acknowledgment. "And when your probation runs out if you've changed your mind and want back in…" Alvin stood, smoothed his button-down, and handed me his card. "Let me know. You just call me, and I'll be there for you. You were good, Maizie. Your problem wasn't you. We both know who your problem was."
"Mickey?"
"Mickey didn't have the balls to make a problem, let alone solve one. Mickey had the same problem you did. Vicki Albright."
It's like Alvin had been sitting in on my therapy sessions all these years. But still. "Thanks, Alvin, but I'm living my dream."
Alvin patted me on the shoulder. "Sure you are, kid."
* * *
The driver took me from No Sleep to Black Pine Resort. I used the energy from my caffeine and sugar high to create a to-do list while we sped across town. Finding a possible dead woman was at the top of the list. That box remained unchecked. Orlando was sub-listed on that topic. Speaking to resort guests about spotting Cambria's double came third. There was the matter of professional film equipment. Maybe a hobby for Cam-Cam or maybe she rented it? Last on my list was choosing a Theodore-worthy outfit for his party, but I wrote that in tiny letters so I wouldn't appear shallow.
As I was the only one reading the list, I didn't know who I was kidding. But I really needed to up the hotness factor if Cambria refused my plus one invite.
At the reception desk, I spoke to Cesar, the clerk. Orlando was not in his room. Cesar also couldn't remember the last time he saw Orlando, but the resort was full and busy.
"Maizie Albright, right?" Cesar cut his eyes toward the office and handed me an envelope.
"What's this?"
"It's something to help you." Noting my confused expression, he lowered his voice and spoke through his teeth. "With finding guests? Can you take it before someone sees us?"
"Okay." I slipped the envelope to my side. "Thanks?"
"I'm a fan," he called out. "I'm glad your show is filming in Black Pine. What a treat for us."
As it seemed we were breaking some privacy legalities and as I had no idea why, I didn't correct him about my part in the show. "I appreciate this very much. I can do discreet."
"Your mother said as much," whispered Cesar.
"Say what?" I opened the envelope. A printing of the current guest listing, including room numbers, was inside. "Vicki Albright left this for me? Vicki Albright wanted you to give me this list?"
"Thank her for her generosity," Cesar whispered. "And for understanding why I didn't want to be filmed handing it over."
I chewed my lip. My life often expressed itself with these ethical conundrums. Usually, they're not so conundrum-y. I glanced around the room and lowered my voice. "Did Vicki Albright say anything about Cambria?"
"Oh no, speaking about any particular guest would be in violation of the resort's rules."
"Of course." My brain hurt. "I'm working with Cambria, that's why I brought it up. Um, thanks."
"Anytime."
"By the way, have you seen someone who looks like Cambria but isn't Cambria?"
"I wish." He sighed. "I don't even see Cambria."
"Anybody sketchy asking about her? Giving her trouble?"
He straightened. "We don't do sketchy. Absolutely not. No
need to worry, Miss Albright."
"What about a fan? Any fans asking for her? Or lurking about?"
"Like I said, we never speak about guests. Cambria isn't even on the registry."
I glanced at the envelope he had just given me. "But she is staying here."
"I don't know that." He raised his brows.
"Right." No crazy fans stalking Cam-Cam. Which meant she hadn't reached that pinnacle of success, or if she had, Black Pine Resort wouldn't mention it because they didn't do sketchy.
I wandered to the sitting area of the lobby, collapsed on a leather chair, and stared at the envelope. How would Vicki know I needed the resort's guest list? And why would she help me?
Oh, hells. Unless she knew about Cambria's transgression. Which meant, what? That she wanted me to solve the Case of the Missing Body Double? And if I used this list would that mean I was working for Vicki? Because I swore an oath to the universe that I would "live through the last season of All is Albright, and when it's all over, I'll never go Vicki again."
But I needed this list.
I smoothed the folded document open in my lap and scanned it.
Cambria was registered as "Diana Prince." I thought she'd be more original.
Orlando Feelzen was registered as himself. Giulio, too, in case the public or paparazzi needed to find him.
Alvin Murphy, Dahlia Pearson, and Ed Farmer had villas near Cambria. Leonard wasn't listed, although he could use an unassuming alias. Perhaps this John Doe in villa eight? I recognized some All is Albright crew in the hotel, giving me hope that the Black Pine location shoot was temporary. Only Vicki had gotten a house.
I double scanned for Jerry.
No Jerry. Unless he was staying with Vicki. My stomach knotted and I tasted curdled pumpkin spice.
I put Jerry out of my head and focused on number three on my list: interviewing guests about body doubles and suspicious activity. I'd start with guests I knew. This early, Giulio was likely at home. Maybe he'd met Orlando. Maybe he also knew his villa neighbors and had seen Cambria with another Cambria.
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