by Pamela Ann
Inching closer, Sienna made a sharp gasp, gripping my arm before my lips gently brushed against her soft lips. I waited for her to push me away, but when she didn’t, I pressed harder. The feel of her against my lips brought home the truth that this could very well be the last time she would to let me before she walked away forever. I was in the purest form of agony, kissing her with everything in me. I kissed her, wanting to say goodbye, however when she slowly parted her lips, I took the plunge and consumed her on the spot.
Was this our last kiss? The thought was depressing, but I was going to take this chance and cherish this moment with her because I knew I would forever be haunted by the memory of this beautiful, vivacious woman who cared for and loved the people around her without limitations.
She was the only woman I had ever loved—would love—for the rest of my life.
Twenty-two
Blake
Slowly lifting her body, Sienna clung onto me, wrapping her arms around my neck as her legs clutched around my hips. I carried her out of the shower, not caring that it was still running, and took her into the bedroom.
My lips never parted with hers as I slowly placed her on the bed. I pulled the comforter over our wet bodies. We were on our sides, naked; skin to skin, heart to heart, making love without sex.
How had I thought that I could live without her kisses? I simply couldn’t get enough of them. Truly, deeply, I was drowning in them; in her… with her.
“Sienna…” Let me keep loving you…
I deepened the kiss when Sienna gripped the side of my hip and urged me to roll atop her body. She immediately parted her thighs and placed her heels behind my hips. The feel of her heat against my constrained cock didn’t help with the raging inferno that was burning within my body, within my soul. I wanted to annihilate both of our senses, take us to the edge of the precipice and exalt in each other, though right now wasn’t the time… However, then she just started to lift her hips, rubbing herself against my length. Hell. Fucking. Hell!
“Dio,” I groaned out as my hand reached around her hip to steady it.
Skin too soft for words… so delicate and unbelievably silky. I wanted to taste and lick her all over, but I didn’t want just sex. I wanted her promises, her vows, her forever.
“Touch me, caro,” Sienna pleaded, taking the hand on my hip and placing it on her breasts, massaging. “Kiss me.” She rocked her hips gently, her other hand cupping my ass and pressing it against her moistened heat.
Christ! Each breath, touch, kiss; everything that was going on with us in that instant… I felt it all. I was alive. I was on fire. I had wanted this woman for so long and I had her—almost—yet now she wanted to leave, for good. I couldn’t have that because she was the woman fate had chosen for me. Identical to all the other men in my family, once that happened, you lived with it for the rest of your life. Sienna was my destiny. Just like my father with my mother, my grandfather with my grandmother, Luciano with Seraphina and my forefathers, all the men only loved once; it was a proven fact.
That’s why I knew I had fallen for Sienna. There was no other way to go except to submit to it because, either way, I was bound to love her forever.
Pulling out of our kiss, I cupped her face, thumbs wiping the tears that slid from the corners of her eyes as I gazed lovingly at her. “I’m always going to be in love with you.”
She sobbed, more tears welled in her eyes before she tried to look away, but I was unyielding. This was it, the last shot, and I wasn’t going to let her not feel my love for her; she had to feel it. “Sienna, tell me what I can do to make you stay. Give me a list. I’ll do all of it. All the other demands I’d declined before, consider them done.” My eyes flickered back and forth, seeking more from her. “Don’t take my future away, please. You’re the one. You’re my wife. In my heart, you’re my wife.”
“Blake, don’t—”
“You’re in love with me, Sienna.” She moaned when I gently rolled my hips on her mound. “You don’t have to lie to keep me away because I’m not going anywhere. Never wish me away.”
Seeking her lips, the kiss consumed us both. She was delirious, heels and hands pulling my boxers off. She gave a delicious purr when my cock sprung free and sat in between her wet folds. “Baby, I need you.” She tried to take hold of my cock to guide it into her, however I wasn’t going to give in—not just yet—not until I got what I wanted. Her. All of her.
A hungered groan came from within as I teased her wet entrance. “I want to hear the words, cara.”
“Blake, I want you,” Sienna whispered, opening her legs wider.
Good, but not enough. I pressed half of the head into her channel, feeling the sweet opening stretch with my strength, choking it, before I pulled it out. “Try again.”
She pouted, before relenting. “Please, Blake, make love to me.”
“Not the right words, either.” I knew she understood what I wanted to hear. She held the key for our happiness. I wasn’t going to give in for a quick shagging in exchange of our future, no matter how mind-numbing, explosive or one of a kind. No. I wanted everything. The wedding. The wife. The house. The children. The dogs and the whole bloody damn picket fence. I wanted everything, but all of that meant nothing without Sienna.
“I can’t.”
She was being truly difficult. We loved each other. Even though we were going through a tricky situation, I knew, deep down, we still loved one another. I didn’t get why she had to leave me. I’d do anything to keep her. “Apologies, but I can’t give you what you want, either.”
Sienna whimpered. “You’re being cruel.”
“I’m a desperate man who’s in love with a woman, pleading for her to stay with me, to be with me, love me.” Our eyes met and time stood still. “And I’m staring into her eyes, waiting.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“The best things never are, amore.” Trailing kisses over her breasts, a nipple caught my lip. The pebbled rosebud teased the tip of my tongue.
“Blake, please. I need you inside me.” Sienna shifted her hips so that the tip of my shaft could easily slide into her, yet I moved it to the side.
“You can have all of me. I’m not settling for anything less. It’s all or nothing. Take your pick.”
Sienna looked frustrated, but the pain in her soul was going through so much more. “I’m hurting you too much. I don’t deserve you.”
“I hurt more when you’re not with me.” Which was something I didn’t want to go through ever again.
She shook her head, persistent. “People see how unhappy you are.” She bit her bottom lip, cupping my cheek. “I don’t want that. You deserve someone else better; someone like Adriana.”
The rest of the world could go to hell. “Love me, that’s all I ask. I will never want to go away, Sienna. Never fear that. No matter the difficulty, I will always stay. Always. I don’t want anyone else. I want you, Sienna. You. Always and only fucking you. Don’t make me suffer because you don’t think you deserve me. I get to choose who I want to be with and I choose you. I will always fucking choose you, don’t you see that? It was always meant to be you.” I paused, uncertain. “Unless your feelings have changed.” My voice shook, trying not to think of Matthews and how he wanted Sienna pregnant. “Unless you want to leave because you’ve fallen for someone else… fallen back into his arms again…” I was rotting inside when she didn’t say anything. “Unless you’ve fallen completely out of love with me and promised yourself to someone else.” Fuck, the thought hadn’t entered my mind until now. I felt suddenly numb and completely ill. I rolled off her body and sat on the other side of the bed.
When she didn’t move or say a word, I gathered whatever courage I had and stood up, shaky as I stared at the pouring rain on the balcony, which hadn’t let up, then further out at the sea. “If you plan to be with him. I beg you, please, don’t say anything.” Images of her making love to him, married and pregnant with his child, simply killed me.
“Blake.”
I wanted to answer her, but my throat felt too constricted. It was difficult to open my mouth. My chest felt like it would combust from the heavy weight of pain it was being put through. Had I known she was planning to leave me… had I known… I would’ve taken her somewhere far away; a place where no one could reach us, so I could keep her there, keep her with me and not let any other man ever touch her.
When my phone rang, I gathered it on autopilot. My heart shattered with the sight of Kyle Matthews’s number flashing before my very eyes. Let her go, the voice in me obliged. Set her free. My heart pounded harder.
Without looking her in the eyes, I handed her my mobile. “He’s been worried. I think hearing your voice will make him feel better. I’ll have the pilots on standby in case you want to go to him. Or if you want them to get him in Los Angeles and bring him to you in London, they could do that, too. Just tell them what you want, they’ll give it to you.”
When I heard her take the call, I pulled some pants on and walked out of that room so fast that it made my head spin. I sought the cool darkness in the library. The fireplace barely made a dent in soothing my shattered soul, though. I drowned my sorrows while my ears were tuned to the sound of the door; the sound of her leaving me, my life, for good.
It took an hour until I heard her knock on the door. I knew it was her because her knocks were soft, like a little girl, shy but persistent.
Normally I would’ve called out for her to enter, though for the life of me, I couldn’t move because I knew my life would end in a few minutes—seconds even. I was going to say goodbye to the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. It would end here, in this library, in this home. Hell’s arms were wide open, ready to embrace me the second she walked out of my life.
The door cracked opened. “Blake?” she called out before opening the door wider to let herself in and shutting it behind her. Sienna walked into the library, dressed and with her passport clutched in her hand.
My jaws locked. I held myself down and commanded myself not to move; not to speak or even bat an eyelid. That lasted seconds until she placed the ring on the desk. I launched out of my seat, ready to grab hold of the ring and throw it out the window, yet when she held out her hand, I stopped in my tracks.
“Make me yours again.” She let her tears slide down her face. “I’m so in love with you, I feel incapacitated. I’m so in love with you that I’m willing to sacrifice my happiness for your own.” She paused, sniffling. “I came here to give the ring back. I was ready to leave, but the thought of saying goodbye and never seeing you again—” she stuttered, pressing a hand over her heart. “You’re in here. How do I extract you when you’re in here?” She gasped and took a couple steps towards my frozen form. “I’ll endure what everyone says. I don’t care if they want to kill me so that they can have you all to themselves. I’ll survive all of that, as long as your heart will only stay true to me.”
“How could you ask that, Sienna? My heart only knows you; one woman. One heart.” My shaky hand reached out to touch the hand over her heart. “This is all I know, cara. Loving you is all I know. From a distance to within reach, it has never stopped.” I caught her hand and then slid her engagement ring back on it. “Men in our family only love once.” I kissed the stone. “We love for a lifetime,” I declared before I kissed the spot over her heart. “Per sempre. Ti amerò.” Forever. I will love you. I whispered against her lips, “Io sono il tuo uomo.” I’m your man.
Sienna slightly brushed her lips, shivering before making the same vow. “Sono la tua donna.” I’m your woman.
We fall. We heal. We fall in love all over again. Then it repeats once more.
Twenty-three
Sienna
It was four in the morning and Blake persisted that we wait to make love to each other until we had found our emotional connection again, but I had never felt more complete in my life. We were naked in bed, glued to each other’s arms, kissing though our lips were bruised.
“What made you want to leave me, poppet?” Blake questioned.
He deserved to know the truth. “At the party tonight, after I requested you fire Adriana and you had rejected it, I felt like you were more in favor of her than with me. I mean, I was jealous of her already since the second I’d heard you on the phone with her. It didn’t help when I saw her with her arm around yours in the office. I felt that you enjoyed her company more than mine. Not only that, but you haven’t touched me in a long time and, when I came to you, you rejected me. You had never done that before; it was your first time.” Rehashing the events of my jealous rage was not an easy thing to do, but I had to deal with it. “I sought her out after I spoke to you and confronted her. I wanted her gone, however she retaliated and her words struck me. It wounded me deeply because there were truths in her words. You’ve been unhappy with me because I wasn’t making life easy for you, that you deserved a woman that could give you everything.” I paused, before I brought out the truth. “I don’t deserve your love.”
“Adriana said that to you? Well, she’s definitely fired now. I'll make sure she doesn’t get hired in the business arena. She should have known better than meddle in my private affairs. ” He spat out, half-sitting now, looking over to me.
I nodded. “She’s right, though.” The bitch had been right on target.
“The hell she is! How can you believe the pure bull that woman spewed at you?” Blake shook his head. “I was unhappy because I thought Kyle leaving England would make you realize that you wanted to be with him. I was waiting for you to tell me that. The history you had with him, cara… I couldn’t compete with it.”
“So all that drama was because you were jealous?” I asked him, incredulous.
Blake somewhat looked impish before admitting it. “If you put it like that… I suppose, yeah.”
I made an animalistic groan before I pulled a pillow behind me and smacked him with it. “GOD! You’re crazy!”
“Christ, I’m sorry, okay? But I do love you.” Blake roared, laughing as he pulled me down next to him. “So, about that engagement party…” Blake started then nipped my neck, his cock hard against the side of my thigh.
My Knightly, how I love you. “Tell me when and where then we can get it going.”
He laughed, biting into my neck. “Just like that?”
I felt the wetness saturate my thighs. It was getting worse. Heck yes, just like that! I’m a hot mess. “Yeah.” My voice was strangled as I tried to shift on my side, not wanting to dampen the sheets. “Blake? Could you get me a napkin or… um, a towel, please?” I asked, squeezing my thighs tighter.
“Don’t you think it’s a little late for you to be shy being naked around me?” He gingerly pinched my nipple, groaning into my ear.
He wasn’t helping here… “I’m wet.” Beyond belief.
Blake half-sat up with his brow arched and his eyes twinkling, and then slowly traced his gaze south to the apex of my thighs. His hand delicately touched the crevice while his eyes remained glued to my parted lips as he probed deeper. “Oh, Sienna. I turn you on this much?” His eyes sparkled; he loved the feel of me wet and ready for him.
“Blake.” My breath caught as he went further into me. “No more teasing.” I bit my lip, getting lost in the sensation that vibrated throughout my body. I let my hand travel south and played with my clit. I needed release… like any second now.
Blake pushed my hand away. “Don’t be selfish, cara. We’re coming together.”
“Make love to me,” I gasped, wanting to simply savor every inch of him. As much as I loved our animalistic mating, the sudden thought of almost losing him made me rethink my adamant demands.
I wanted our first time after weeks of abstinence to be somehow special, extraordinary. Magical. Memorable.
Those midnight blue eyes gripped me, connecting with my soul, knowing full well what was going through my mind. “Sienna—”
“Take me slow. I need to feel this.” I kissed his lips, fe
eling his heartbeat against mine, needing to revel in this love haze I was high on. “I need to know that this is real and I’m not dreaming,” I pleaded, feeling my throat going dry at the magnificent sight of him.
Goodness, he was so arrestingly beautiful. My body and soul ached to be connected to his in an unconditional sense. The gnawing need to experience that immaculate, sublime collision of primitive mating was the ultimate transcendent completion of life’s purpose; like two broken, lost pieces were being put back together, forever to be bound.
Blake Knightly wanted me, in that alone I should have been secure. I wore his ring. I should’ve been confident. The sexy, god-like man was in love with me, that prime fact should have given me the power to flip off whoever wanted to come in between us, but I did none of that because I let other people’s poison seep into my head, letting it run amuck for far too long. Now, I ached to fill the void that used to be marred with countless compounding doubts and endless insecurities.