by Pamela Ann
I had so much to make up for and I was going to apologize one by one, piece by piece, until he finally knew the depth of my love for him.
“Ti amo.” He pressed his forehead against my own, breathing heavily as he slowly entered me, our hearts beating rhythmically.
Each passing emotion could be read in my eyes as I could easily read his. There were no more veils, no more masks and no more prideful pieces being held back. I had become undone, loving him unconditionally as I opened everything in me—to be viewed through my scared eyes—braving it all for him. What was contained in my frayed heart, obligingly thumped through it for him. The tortured soul within, willingly stepped out of its shadows so the man could fully see me. That I had continued to be merely a little girl marred by life’s neglect, scarred by the cowards who’d chosen to hurt a helpless child. The abandoned kid—the orphan—who had been unloved, only truly needing a hug to erase her guarded walls.
My life completely shifted the moment my father died. In some ways, I died with him, too, because I had confined myself in a space where it was hard for people to break through to me.
Now my guards were down. I had finally—fully and unconditionally—let him inside. There was no going back. I simply had to keep pushing forward.
It didn’t matter what the future was about because, for the first time, I wasn’t letting my past hold me back any longer; I was willing to let the sunshine into my life, letting the breeze bring crisp air to wipe all the webs away.
I was free.
I was open. To love and let love in.
No more chasing shadows. I was now ready to chase my paradise.
Blake Knightly, you better be ready for me because I am ready to rock your world. Heaven and Hell got nothing on me.
Twenty-four
Blake
It had been a week since we got back from Marbella and we were scheduled to head back out there tonight because the casino, Ricco Regale, would be opening in two day’s time. There would be a celebration party tomorrow night for the people who had helped make this project happen; invited guests and friends.
So here I was, at a fashion brand launch party, waiting until her internship clock time was over.
I watched her from afar as she bounced from one place to the other; talking to waiters and other organizers. I waited until the moment she was finally going to be off; which would be in the next five minutes, I noted by the watch my fiancée had gifted me.
It wasn’t that I didn’t have anything to do, really. I was merely curious how my fiancée handled doing a PR event and, at the same time, I needed to see if it was really a safe job. Everything was fine, until I noticed the same guy—who I had assumed she worked with because they seemed familiar to each other—kept going over to her, checking up on things then he would touch her back or brush a strand of her hair.
My jaw was hurting from the constant grinding of teeth I was doing, but I had to congratulate myself because I hadn’t acted upon it and yanked Sienna away so that this sappy bloke couldn’t touch her any longer.
A guttural growl vibrated through me when the bloody wanker had the audacity to wrap his arms around my woman as she said goodbye to the other people, knowing quite well she had a tremendous diamond on her finger, screaming blatantly that she was off the market.
I knew men didn’t care much for those, though. Hell, even married women could be lured away from their husbands. In this day and age, everything and everyone was available to someone who was unscrupulous. It was all up to the person to decide whether they were willing to take the plunge and commit adultery or not.
I trusted Sienna with my life. I could very well learn how to become less of an ogre when it came to men hovering around her to praise her beauty. Some might think that I only wanted her due to her incredible body and luscious curves that could tempt a Pope to sin. Others would probably assume I thought of her as a trophy next to me because her looks were combined with a phenomenal mind. I did see all of that, however nothing compared with what I felt when I was with her.
She had the capacity to turn my organized world into hell with a mere bat of her eyelashes. She could easily turn me into a sentimental fool without even trying. I was a borderline stalker, a jealous possessive fool who couldn’t contain anything whenever she was near. Most of all, though, Sienna had the power to turn the ugly into a beautiful bliss by a smile, a whisper of my name, a simple touch. By just existing, she simply took my breath away.
Sienna had me on my knees, forever beholden and enslaved by merely one look she bestowed upon me—a simple look that told me that I was hers. For eternity. Per sempre. She owned me.
My gaze never wavered as I possessively admired the stunning woman who strutted towards me, smiling so big while she eyed me like a meal, ready to be licked and savored—a look that told the surrounding people that I was her property and one shouldn’t even dare mess with her prized possession. That look never failed to make me catch my breath.
Sappy. Bloody. Fool. And I was proud to be one. I didn’t care if I made it on The Most Eligible Billionaire list or that I had successfully negotiated my way out of complex contracts and business deals. Nothing, truly topped the heady high I got from Sienna, who was now a few inches away.
“You saw that?” She made a face, not sure what to do.
“I did.” I was sure she probably was waiting for me to lash out, maybe dart a barbed comment here and there.
Her golden green eyes sparkled, eyes flickering on my locked jaws before gazing at me through her lashes. “You’re not going caveman on me. Why’s that?” She giggled and kissed me playfully. “Should I be worried?” she whispered against my lips, teasing.
She was being cute and I wanted to ravish her on the spot for it. With my hand behind her back, I ushered her out and to the awaiting car so we could head towards the airport.
“This is me learning restraint, poppet. I can’t always go ballistic because a man finds you beautiful. You truly are—inside and out—and men are always going to flock around you. As long as none of them hurt you or step out of line then I have to act, or at least pretend, to be a gentleman.”
“It’s weird, but I find that very romantic.” She grinned after the car door was shut.
I smirked, knowing quite well I had found the one for me. “You’re just in love with me, woman.”
“True that.” Sienna leaned closer, resting her head on my chest, leg over my lap as she flung her arm around me. “I’m sleepy, babe.”
Peering down at her, I stroked her cheek. “Go to sleep. I’ll carry you to the jet and into the villa.” Gently taking of her heels, she purred when I started to massage her soles. I hid a smile, loving the heavenly face she was making, eyes closed as if dreaming.
“I can’t believe the Casino is opening soon. You’re amazing, Knightly,” she murmured, comfortable.
“I have to be. I have you and our kids to support.”
She cracked one eye open. “What kids? Are you talking about Chad and Toby? They’re both married now, duh!”
Toby and Chad, like I would consider those two my children, hell. With Chad always toying with sexual jokes, I think not. I laughed at the thought, though. “I’m talking about our future children. I’m thinking we can start with two then maybe one or two more after. What do you think?” I tested the waters, dipping my toe in a bit. Fishing at where she stood; what her feelings and opinions were without needing to blatantly press on the issue.
“Four kids? Hell, Blake! I’ll just lend you my vagina and you can give birth to all of them. How does that sound?” She groaned. “I can’t believe we’re talking about having babies. What the heck happened to my hotshot playboy lover?”
“Me? A playboy? Never!” I huffed, seeming offended.
Sienna rolled her eyes, indignant. “Yeah? Feel like explaining that large velvet box that was hidden in the back of your shoe closet?”
There goes my exquisitely planned weekend, I thought, stilling, trying to remember what w
as in it. “What about it?” I frowned.
She took her time, dragging the words out, hinting. “Toys… videos of you with women, Blake.”
Fuck. Me. That velvet box! Christ. “Those were from years back, cara. There’s no need for alarm.”
Sienna looked up, unreadable. “I’m not alarmed… I’m just wondering when was the last time you’ve had one of those?”
She was heading to that direction. Hell, why did women feel the need to investigate and snoop about, anyhow? She was wearing my ring for fuck’s sake. “Well, fuck. Do you really expect me to answer this damning question?” I was past frustrated. Not to mention the well of panic was just a breath away. Those videos were well—rather beyond graphic.
“Fuck yeah, I do!” Sienna shot back, sitting now, eyeing me with evident suspicion.
A man’s sex life was always colorful. Their fantasies, explicit. Put them both together, you get an ardent animal. A man down to its animal senses. Instincts. Need. Hunger.
No matter what side of the coin a man was born on, we were all the same underneath it all. We thrived on power, knowledge, glory, competition and beauty. Men loved to dominate. Feel the power in their hands, the need to possess one with implicit submission of their minds, body, soul and heart.
I was one of those men.
It was all back in my past. What mattered was my present, my future with Sienna. Nothing more. “When we broke up… a couple, maybe a few times. I can’t recall properly.” I was pretty smashed most of the time. Well, pretty much every night, until Sienna came back into my life.
“And you like these things?” When she saw me raise my brow, she tried to explain herself. “You know, have sex with two women at the same time?” she continued before adding, “or more…” letting it all hang there, like a big, fat bloody elephant.
I could do with this interrogation, as long as I stayed positive and not leer into the complexities of one’s lifestyle. “I believe that a man’s got to try everything. It has its moments and I had my fill of that. I do not need more of it, nor do I feel the urge to do so.”
Sienna was silent, pondering my words. “Don’t you miss it?”
If she weren’t so serious, I would’ve made a joke of it, but that would be truly distasteful since she was truly bothered by it. “No. What you and I have is so much better, Sienna. Don’t even think for a second that I would cheat because you’d be sorely disappointed.” Why sift through semi-precious stones when I had the best one?
“It’s not that… I mean, I had always wondered what’d be like.”
Did I hear her right? Did she just say…. bloody hell! “Don’t even go there. No man’s touching you. End of discussion.” The thought of her with men made my stomach churn. No fucking way.
“Caveman.”
“Wench.”
“Arrogant ass,” she quipped back, smiling.
I laughed heartily before helping her out of the car. I couldn’t wait until we were alone in the jet, just the two of us again. I didn’t want to sound needy because let’s face it, Blake Knightly didn’t do sappy, but I was feeling it.
Now seated and buckled, I gestured for the stewardess to bring out Sienna’s snack.
She made a groan when she was brought champagne and her favorite French pastries. I was going to spoil her until she couldn’t handle it anymore.
She immediately took a bite-size chocolate cake, not able to wait for long. “Oh, geez. Are you trying to get me fat?” Sienna took another bite of the pastry, eyes rolling behind her head, closing her lids and savoring the taste delicately.
Sexy, I thought as I watched her with a hardened cock. Yeah, watching her eat was a novelty I indulged in once in awhile. She truly was enchanting.
My eyes drifted from her lips, down to her neck, to her breasts, before I dragged them back to her lips, wanting to taste her and that chocolate in her mouth. “Ready to marry me this weekend?” I rasped out, eyes unwavering.
Sienna jumped in seat. “What?”
I smirked, amused at her frazzled look. Bingo. “What’s with the horrified face? Scared to be tied with likes of me?” I pressed my lips together.
Her brows furrowed, trying to grasp what was going on. “I thought it was the Casino’s opening weekend.”
I nodded. “It is.”
“Then, you’re bluffing?” she reassured and then her hand reached out to get another pastry.
“Am I? Do you want it to be a bluff?” I watched as all sorts of emotions played on her face before I rested my arms on the armrests. Thoughtful. “Come here and sit with me,” I invited. She nodded and sat next to me, on her side, facing me.
She bit her lip, fingers twisted together. “Um, I don’t know. It’s just that, it’s just so unexpected, I guess.”
She looked at a loss for words; I had to pull her closer and then kiss her forehead. “Relax. It’s not this weekend. I promised that I’ll wait and I will.”
“Thank you. I know you’re adamant to tie the knot. I appreciate you waiting.” She cupped my face, looking up at me. Love shone in her gorgeous eyes, zinging me to the core.
“It’s unfortunate, isn’t it? That you’re the only woman I want to marry? I suppose I could wait for another few years, decades even,” I joked, wanting to lighten the mood.
“I better be the only woman,” she muttered, pinching my nipple through my dress shirt before she stifled a yawn.
I grunted from the pain. “Goodness, woman. Calm down.”
“Are you in pain?” She cocked her brow, uncaring.
Why, so she could do it some more? I thought suspiciously. “I’m quite all right. Nipples. Sensitive. Area. Try not to hurt me there, if there’s a next time.”
“Aw! Want me to lick your pain away?” she spoke and then licked her lips suggestively.
“I do, but the pain drifted lower, making it rather crucial. Might need some sucking, too.” I knew she was tired, that’s why I wasn’t even trying to seduce her, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t have fun with it.
“Pervert!” She yawned. “I love this, but I’m sleepy.”
Glancing at my watch, I wrapped my arm around her. “Let’s get you to bed then. We won’t be arriving for another hour and half,” I said before I stood up and gathered her in my arms, walking towards the tail of the jet, towards the bedroom.
Carefully placing her atop the bed, I covered her with a blanket before I brushed the hair off her forehead and planted a kiss on it. “I have to get some work down. Sleep well, cara.”
“Knightly?” she murmured.
“Yes?”
“I love you.”
I smiled in the dimly lit room, content with life. “I love you.”
Back in my seat, I went through some emails and called a few people to iron out details needed for this weekend. We were landing in Marbella in no time and I was ready to spend some time with her this weekend, with our friends.
Sienna was very much out like a light.
I had carried her out of the jet to the waiting car and into villa, stripping her bare before tucking her into bed.
Showered and exhausted, I slid next to her. “Dream of us, amore,” I whispered into her ear, gathering her close before joining her into a deep slumber.
Twenty-Five
Blake
“Oh my God!” She gasped, taking it all in. “BLAKE!” She screeched, hand on her throat, clutching my arm in panic.
I laughed before I whispered into her ear. “Relax, this is our engagement party not our wedding.”
Sienna groaned, throwing me a dirty look. “It’s not that, idiot! I can’t believe you did all this behind my back.”
“It was all Lucy and Chad actually. All I had to do really was provide them with my credit card and they had to shoo me away. Quite rude if you ask me.”
“Everybody was on this, but me?” She frowned, until Chad and Lucy finally came out and murdered us with hugs and squeals. Sienna threw cutting looks but was grinning afterwards. “How about you guys sh
ow me the party? I think it’s time to get drunk and party our asses off!”
I shook my head, following the trio from behind. Tonight, with Sienna drunk, it will definitely be interesting night to remember. She gets too excited, and that’s just putting it mildly.
The guests were kept at a minimum. I didn’t want a lot of people about, so I agreed to a hundred when Chad suggested triple that amount.
We mingled about. Introducing Sienna to business associates and friends from different parts of the continent before my grandfather appeared on my side. “You’re growing up too fast, aren’t we boy?” he grinned, before hugging and patting my back.