Soldier's Duty

by Elle James

  After James McKinnon had been missing for three nights in the freezing cold, they couldn’t hold out much hope that they’d find their father alive. Not knowing would always leave that little niggle of doubt.

  What if he’d been injured in the avalanche, survived but remained confused He could be wandering around the forest, lost and unable to find his way back.

  The man had survival instincts ingrained into every bone of his body. He’d find a way to live, if he hadn’t perished in the landslide. They could be looking in the wrong place.

  The sound of a door opening and closing in the hallway made Angus’s heartbeat kick up a notch, redirecting his thoughts to the woman in the room next to his.

  Bree.

  For the past thirteen years, he’d fought to erase her memory from his mind and heart. He’d failed miserably. Dating other women had only made him think of her more. He’d compared each lady to his first love, and they’d come up short. One date with a woman who wasn’t Bree, and he’d been certain he couldn’t go out with her again.

  If she wasn’t Bree, she wasn’t the right one for him.

  Which didn’t make any sense or help him to get on with his life.

  Bree didn’t want him. She’d moved on shortly after he’d left for training. He’d received one letter from her, filled with love and longing…and then nothing. Not a Dear John or a Thanks, but no thanks.

  He’d written to his mother, asking if Bree had been in an accident. His mother had written back that Bree had left Montana to parts unknown, leaving no explanation or forwarding address for anyone, including her mother.

  For a long time, Angus worried she’d been kidnapped. At his most frantic point, he’d considered going AWOL in order to search for her.

  Then he’d heard from his mother that Bree had been in contact with her mother and was indeed alive and well. Her mother had told his mother Bree wasn’t coming home. She suspected it had to do with Greg Hemming, her mother’s husband—he’d died in a barn fire around the same time as Bree’s departure.

  As far as Angus was concerned, the death of Bree’s stepfather had been a godsend. There had been many times Angus had wanted to punch the man’s lights out.

  Hemming had been physically and mentally abusive to his wife and stepdaughter. Why they’d put up with him, he’d never understood.

  Angus had suspected that Karen Hemming had nowhere else to go. The ranch had belonged to Greg. If she’d taken her daughter and left him, they’d have had nothing. Jobs were always scarce in the small town of Eagle Rock. They’d have had to move to a bigger city. Likely, she’d had no money of her own.

  Escaping Greg Hemming would’ve explained why Bree would leave home and not wait for Angus to return from training. But after Greg Hemming had died, why hadn’t Bree returned to Montana?

  Nothing made sense. At least to Angus. At the time, all he’d been able to focus on was the fact Bree hadn’t been there when he’d returned from training.

  His heart still hurt when he thought about his homecoming. Without her there, he’d been desperate to get back to the military. He’d ended up volunteering for additional training, opting for the elite Ranger training. When he’d excelled there, he’d been recommended for a position in the even more exclusive Delta Force.

  He hadn’t been looking for the glory of being a part of the best of the best. Angus had wanted to be immersed in the action. Anything to keep moving. When he’d sat still too long, he’d thought too much about Bree and all he’d lost when she’d gone.

  Delta Force had been his salvation. There, he’d developed friendships with men who would become his brothers in arms. He’d give his life for any one of them. On many occasions, he’d risked his life to save one or more of them.

  His connection with his team had helped him fill the void Bree had left in his heart. Not completely, but their friendship and loyalty had helped restore his faith in humanity, if not women.

  Angus shoved a hand through his hair and stared at the door. He needed a shower and sleep. He’d been awake for two days. Ever since he’d learned of his father’s disappearance, he’d been beside himself with worry. That lack of sleep was catching up with him. Still, the thought of being so close to Bree made his pulse race and his thoughts spin.

  Grabbing his shaving kit, he opened the door to his room.

  At the same time, the door directly across the hall opened and a cloud of steam escaped, leaving Bree standing in the doorframe, her dark hair lying in long wet strands around her shoulders, her pale cheeks flushed a rosy pink from the shower.

  She wore flannel pajamas, the shirt and pants too big and hanging on her slight frame. Fresh-faced and damp from her shower, she looked like a little girl in adult clothing. At the same time, her cleavage peeked out of the neckline of her shirt. The woman was anything but a child, and she was sexy as hell.

  Angus’s groin tightened, and his pulse sped. He clenched his fist around his shaving kit to keep from reaching out to touch one of the damp strands of her silky dark hair.

  Her eyes widened, and she stared up at him, her mouth opening slightly. She swallowed and lifted a hand to her chest. “It’s all yours,” she said, her voice wobbling.

  He wished it was all his. From the tip of her toes to the crown of her head. Angus shook himself. Bree meant the bathroom.

  He nodded. “Thanks.”

  For a long moment, she stood in his way without moving. Then she ducked her head and started to go around him.

  Angus reached out and grabbed her arm. “Bree…”

  She stared at the hand on her arm, refusing to look up into his face. “Don’t, Angus.”

  “Don’t what?” A flash of anger made his grip tighten on her arm. “Don’t fall in love with you again?” He snorted. “You won’t have to worry about that. You cured me of that thirteen years ago. Once bitten…and all that.”

  She drew in a deep breath and stared at the wall beside him. “It was for the best.”

  “The best for who?” he demanded, his voice dropping into a harsh whisper. He craved answers, but he didn’t want his family to be part of his conflict with Bree. They already didn’t trust her and were almost antagonistic toward her.

  “For you.” Finally, she glanced up, her gaze meeting his. Though she flinched, she didn’t back down. “I did what was best for you.” She tried to shake free of his hand.

  Angus wouldn’t release her. Not yet. “Best for me? Don’t you think I should have been the judge of that? I didn’t even get a choice.”

  Her chin tipped upward. “I did what I had to.”

  “You had to leave? Was someone forcing you to? Because I sure wasn’t.” He let go of her arm and stepped back. “It doesn’t matter. What’s past is past.”

  Bree rubbed her arm where he’d held it.

  A flash of guilt swelled in his chest. Had he bruised her? God, he was as bad as that son of a bitch stepfather of hers had been. Suddenly, all the anger left him.

  When he reached out again, she flinched away.

  “I’m sorry. You owe me nothing.” Though he would have liked an explanation, she really didn’t owe him anything. “Go to bed. Tomorrow is another day. Perhaps we could start over.”

  He stepped around her and entered the bathroom.

  As he started to close the door, she reached out and pressed her hand to the wood panel. “I never wanted to hurt you,” she whispered. “Never.”

  “Well, you failed on that count. But I’m a big boy now. I’m over it.” He turned away. “Goodnight, Bree.” And he closed the door.

  The click of the knob and the lock made the finality of his words sink in for him. Had he imagined the anguish in her expression?

  Angus shook his head. Yeah, it was pure imagination. Bree had dumped him. She hadn’t cared about him then, and she certainly didn’t now.

  All her bullshit about doing what was best for him was just that…bullshit.

  No matter how angry he was with her, he couldn’t deny that she still
made his body ache for hers.

  Angus turned on the faucet, adjusting the temperature down. He might desire the woman but that was nothing a cold shower wouldn’t cure.

  After ten minutes beneath the cool spray, he admitted defeat and got out. Freezing his body wasn’t the way to get over Bree. Getting her out of his life was the only solution. Tomorrow, he’d work on setting the Wolf Creek Ranch back in operational order, while continuing to search for his father.

  All that while keeping his hands and lips to himself.

  Bree Lansing was strictly off limits.

  After lying in bed for two hours with no sign of ever falling asleep, Bree sat up, swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood in her bare feet on the cool wood floor.

  Starlight shone through the windows onto the wall she shared with Angus. Bree stared at the wall, wondering if he was having as much trouble sleeping as she was. Did he lie awake staring up at the ceiling wondering what he could have done differently to change the outcome of the past thirteen years?

  Bree did that every night, wishing she’d made a better choice. The one she’d made in a flash of pent-up anger had cost her everything she’d held dear.

  The walls of the bedroom seemed to close in around her. Starlight called to her, beckoning her to step out on the deck and inhale the clear mountain air.

  Bree stared at the window, wondering if she could crawl out and back in. Finally, she decided that if she wanted to go outside, she should do it the way normal people did.

  Grabbing her coat, she slipped her flannel-clad arms into the sleeves. Then she walked to the door and eased it open, careful not to make a sound that would wake Angus.

  The way he’d left her earlier didn’t inspire a desire for a repeat performance. Bree preferred having the starlight to herself for now.

  Padding barefooted down the hallway, she let herself out of the front door onto the icy cold deck.

  Gathering the coat around her, Bree walked to the top of the steps and sank down, curling her bare feet up under her flannel pajama legs.

  With her feet a little warmer and the coat doing a decent job of keeping her slightly warmer than freezing, Bree stared up at the sky. A million stars twinkled down at her, and simply by existing, lifted her spirits. How could she be so depressed when she was surrounded by the beauty of her home state?

  Alaska had its own beauty, but Bree’s heart belonged in Montana.

  The creak of the door hinges made her jump, spin and stare up at a dark figure stepping out onto the wooden planks of the deck. “Angus?” she called out.

  “No, Duncan. Mind if I join you?”

  Bree shook her head then realized he couldn’t see her and said, “Please do.” She scooted over, giving him enough space to settle on the step beside her. Then she braced herself for whatever Duncan had on his mind, figuring it would have to do with her leaving his brother and breaking his heart.

  The man dropped to sit on the top step and stretched out his long, muscular legs in front of him. He still wore his jeans and boots from earlier that day.

  When he didn’t say anything for a good three minutes, Bree decided to address his grievances and get them out in the open. Otherwise, she might as well head back into the house to the room where she’d been assigned to sleep.

  She still couldn’t get over the fact Mrs. McKinnon had placed her in the room beside Angus. Angus’s mother said she didn’t hold a grudge against her, but the rest of Angus’s siblings did. If they were to get past it, now was the time to get it all off her chest with at least one of his brothers. They’d all been friends in the past. Surely, they wouldn’t forget that.

  “I know Angus joined the Army. What did you end up doing when you got out of high school?” she asked softly, wanting to break the ice between them.

  “I followed Angus into the Army. I didn’t go into Delta Force like he did, but I was an Airborne Ranger and saw my share of deployments.”

  “Are you still in?”

  He nodded. “I’m getting close to the halfway point in my career where I need to either commit to another ten years or get out.”

  “Colin and Bastian both joined the military, too, didn’t they?” Bree asked, keeping up the conversation.

  “Yeah. Colin’s a Marine. Bastian chose to go Navy and became a SEAL.”

  “Wow. It must be in the blood. As I recall, your father was prior military, wasn’t he?”

  Duncan nodded. “Retired with twenty years in the Army.”

  “What about your sister, Molly? Did she go, too?”

  Duncan shook his head. “No. She loves this ranch. It’s her life blood. She’s a strong young woman, but I don’t think she’d survive well out in the world without her horses.”

  Bree smiled, remembering the little girl riding bareback across the fields, no saddle, no bridle, hanging onto the horse’s mane. No matter what horse she rode, the horse always seemed to know who she was and took care not to hurt her.

  “Molly has grown into a beautiful woman,” Bree said. “What will happen when she marries and leaves to be with her husband?”

  Duncan shrugged. “Her husband will have to come live at Iron Horse Ranch. She’ll never leave.” He glanced across at Bree. “Unlike some people.” His eyes narrowed slightly, but he didn’t glare like Colin and Bastian had.

  Duncan had always been the soft-spoken giant of a brother who’d been like a teddy bear—huggable, loveable and kind. More than anything Bree wanted to tell Duncan why she’d left. But to do so would put her in danger of going to jail. With things the way they were at Wolf Creek Ranch, Bree couldn’t risk going to jail. Not yet. Not until they found the culprit who’d poisoned the water. She could do nothing to help from the inside of a jail cell.

  “Some people leave for reasons they can’t discuss.” She pushed to her feet. “Staying would’ve hurt people more than my leaving.”

  Duncan remained seated on the step staring out at the starlit pasture. “Fair enough. Just don’t expect to pick up where you left off.”

  Bree’s heart squeezed hard in her chest. “Believe me…I don’t.” She gripped the knob on the front door, fighting back tears. She had to swallow hard before she could add, “Rest assured, I’ll be out of here as soon as I can move back to Wolf Creek.” She jerked open the door and ran through it, slamming into what felt like a brick wall.

  Big hands came up to curl around her arms, steadying her. “Bree?”

  For a moment, she rested her hands on Angus’s chest, her heart thudding hard against her ribs. Tears pooled in her eyes. Though she willed them not to fall, some spilled from the corners and slid down her cheeks.

  Damn it. Why did he have to show up now? Why had he returned to Iron Horse Ranch the one and only time she’d been home since she’d left so long ago?

  Bree wasn’t sure she had the strength to battle her emotions where Angus was concerned. She’d never stopped loving the man, and never would.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked, brushing a finger through the trail her tears made.

  She shook her head, afraid to say anything, fearing her words would come out as sobs. The last thing she wanted was for Angus to feel sorry for her. He had every right to be angry with her. She could handle his anger more than his indifference. Indifference meant he’d gotten over her. Completely. A lead weight settled in her gut. As much as she wanted him to get on with his life and forget about her, she didn’t want to let go.

  “Nothing,” she managed to choke out. “I’m just tired.” Shaking loose of his hold, Bree ran past him and up the stairs. Once inside the yellow bedroom with its cheerful linens and delightful paintings on the wall, Bree closed the door, locked it and leaned against the wood panel.

  “Why am I here?” she whispered. She knew the moment he insisted she stay with the McKinnon’s it would be a big mistake. Distance was the only way she could heal her heart.

  Bree sank to the floor, hugged her knees to her chest and cried. As much as she’d tried to forget Angus, she�
�d never stopped loving him.

  Given her history, and the fact she’d killed her stepfather, she could never be with Angus.

  A soft tap sounded on the door.

  Bree’s head jerked up, and she held her breath.

  “Bree?” Angus called out softly.

  She didn’t answer, hoping he would think she’d gone to sleep.

  “I hear you crying. I know you’re not asleep,” he said. “Open the door.”

  “No,” she replied softly, not wanting to wake anyone else.

  “Open the door, or I’ll break it down,” he said, his tone firm yet whispered.

  “Just go away,” she said, her voice catching on a sob.

  “If Duncan upset you, I can have a talk with him.”

  “No. He didn’t. Don’t talk to Duncan. This is my problem, not his.”

  “Open the door,” Angus urged.

  “No,” she said. “Please. I’m tired. I’m going to bed.”

  Footsteps sounded in the hallway, moving away from her door.

  Bree let go of the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding and hiccupped a sob. A moment later a shadow crossed her window, blocking out the starlight.

  She pressed a hand to her chest, afraid to move.

  Then the shadow moved again, the window rose up and Angus climbed over the window sill, fitting his large body through the opening.

  “What are you doing?” Bree pushed to her feet but stayed by the bedroom door.

  Angus closed the window behind him and crossed the room to stand in front of her. “You were crying. I want to know why.”

  She scrubbed a hand over her face, wiping away traces of her tears. “What’s not to cry about? My mother’s in the hospital. She almost died. I spent the afternoon cleaning up a barnyard full of dead animals and we might lose more. I think I deserve a good pity party.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest and lifted her chin. It didn’t help that she couldn’t see him clearly through the moisture pooled in her eyes. Or that another tear tipped over the edge and slipped down her damp cheeks.

  Angus stared down at her, his face softening. He reached out and pulled her into his arms. “I never could stand to see you cry.” He tucked her into his embrace and rested his cheek against her hair.