The Birthday That Changed Everything

by Debbie Johnson

‘Well, now you know it is possible – I’ve ruined you for other men. There are lots of other ways we can make it happen too – over and over again,’ he said, running his hand up the length of my inner thigh and giving me a clue about at least one of those ways.

  Chapter 32

  ‘I’m having déjà vu here, Sal,’ said Diane over a crackling phone line. ‘You’re off to dinner with the same bloke from the same hotel at the same time of year? This is the fella you’ve been shagging on the phone, isn’t it – the one you sent me the photo of, the blond with the big guns?’

  ‘Yeah. James. He’s lovely.’

  I suspected I sighed as I said his name, and wasn’t even ashamed of it. He was lovely – and, for the rest of the holiday at least, he was all mine.

  ‘And now he’s been shagging you senseless in real life, I deduce from your soppy tone of voice. Don’t keep me waiting – is he any good?’

  ‘He’s the best ever. In the whole world. I’ve spent the last few days practically blind from orgasms.’

  ‘Fuck. That is good. I take it you don’t want me to repeat that last sentence to your father or your brothers?’

  ‘Best not, Di – don’t want Dad to drop dead of a heart attack, do we? Anyway, I’ve got to go – Mr Orgasm’s waiting downstairs. And don’t worry, I’m looking slutty.’

  I galloped down the steps, eager to see him, trailing a cloud of perfume.

  James was leaning against a bar stool, talking to Jenny. He was wearing a deep blue shirt. His arms were crossed firmly in front of him, and the short sleeves were stretched tight around his flexed biceps. I knew exactly how he’d smell before I even got there, and couldn’t resist lightly trailing a hand over his bottom as I approached from behind.

  I leaned in, and kissed the face off him.

  I heard Jenny laughing in the background, and was glad I’d cheered her up at least. She and Ian had been trying their best so far – up to their usual sporty activities, romantic dinners, and public displays of affection. But if you ever caught either of them alone, it was easy to see the mask slip, and the strain of their situation peek through. Just then, though, she seemed nothing less than tickled pink. They all knew about me and James – they’d have to be idiots not to – but this was the first time I’d displayed it so vividly.

  ‘Come on, let’s go,’ I said, taking him by the hand and leading him towards the promenade.

  ‘That was…interesting,’ he said. ‘Am I to take it that we are now going public?’

  ‘We always were public. It was one of those secrets that everyone knew. My crap sex life was in a bloody bestselling book – I don’t see why my awesome sex life should be hidden away! Where are we going?’

  ‘Same place as last time? That night we decided we were just going to be friends.’ His hand wandered down to my bum, resting it there as we walked, in a decidedly more-than-friends way.

  ‘Okay. As long as we don’t have to go to Harry’s and have a scrap afterwards. I’d rather do other things afterwards, if we have the time.’

  ‘Jesus, woman…you’re insatiable. Talk about making up for lost time.’

  We strolled along to the restaurant, settled down and ordered. I drank a glass of wine in one gulp. I’d decided that Lucy was right, the cow. It was time to be a big girl. James and I had been bonking each other senseless for days now, but it was more than that. We spent our evenings together, with the rest of the group but always sitting next to each other. Always within touching distance. Sharing smiles and laughs and looks when Mike said something especially outrageous, or Allie replied with something especially cutting.

  We’d joined Jenny and Ian on a sailing trip; we’d taken Jake to the water park; we’d even played cards with Rick and Marcia.

  The sex had been amazing – but the friendship was growing, too. I felt – for the first time in years – like part of a couple. Even with Simon, if I was honest, I didn’t feel like that towards the end.

  This was different; it was pretty much magical. And if it was all going to finish on the last day of our holiday, I wanted to know in advance. I couldn’t afford another man-related near nervous breakdown. If I tried to keep all these feelings inside much longer, I might spontaneously combust on my sun lounger.

  ‘James,’ I said, ‘do you mind if I ask you a question?’

  ‘No. Go ahead.’

  I took a deep breath, said a little prayer. Wondered what Lucy would do, and then realised that she was a very inappropriate role model to choose. Another breath. Here we go…

  ‘Okay then. I was wondering what’s going to happen next with us. Is this a holiday shag and nothing more? Am I anything more to you than a nice pair of tits and a quickie? Will we ever see each other again after next Thursday?’

  He closed his eyes, put two fingers to his forehead and rubbed, the way you do when you feel a headache coming on. Good to see I still had the old magic.

  ‘Christ…Sally, I have to say your tits are very nice, but it’s not your chest I’ve been e-mailing for the last year, is it? And we’ve shared a lot more than a quickie, which I hoped you’d noticed.

  ‘I know you’ve been through the mill with Simon, but you’ve got to stop letting that get in the way of this. No, I don’t know what’s going to happen next – who does? But I’m loving every minute I spend with you. Isn’t that enough for now?’

  I nodded, incapable of actually replying. I could feel tears stalking the back of my eyes. I felt like an idiot now, embarrassed on top of everything else. So much for being a grown-up.

  ‘It is,’ I finally murmured. ‘It is. I’m just being a train wreck, as usual – you know what I’m like.’

  ‘Yeah, I know what you’re like – and I love that too. So don’t feel embarrassed,’ he said, lifting my chin up until I was looking into his eyes. ‘If I wasn’t such a macho beast, I’d probably be asking the same things myself. Let’s finish our dinner, then head back – if we’re lucky we can go back to my room for an hour before I pick up Jake. I’d like to lie down with you and snuggle.’

  ‘Snuggle?’ I said. ‘What kind of word is that for a macho beast?’

  ‘Shut up and eat, woman – is that better? Do you want chocolate cake?’

  Of course I did. And I felt so much better after it – he knows me so well.

  Chapter 33

  When we got back to the hotel, there was some kind of Bacchanalia going on.

  Allie was cavorting on the stage singing Pharrell’s ‘Happy’, slapping herself vigorously on the backside as she danced to the chorus. Ian and Jenny were cheering Allie on, obviously hammered themselves, and Mike…Mike was sitting sipping a pint. Which was worrying, as he never normally sips anything – he normally inhales it all in one gulp before shouting, ‘Next!’

  The music was poundingly loud, and disco lights were lasering in on a sea of very hot, very drunk faces. The waiters were all getting in on the act, even the ones with a night off were joining in the party. Rick was pirouetting in the middle of them like the dancing queen he was, clapping his hands above his head in delight. Marcia looked on, glugging wine straight from the bottle, three cigarettes burning in the ashtray at once.

  A man I’d never even seen before staggered over and grabbed me, trying to drag me off for a dance.

  ‘Come on, gorgeous – come and shake your tail feather with me!’

  James reached out and pulled his fingers from my arm, his face stern. The man laughed, held up his hands in apology, then skipped off to the next woman, who happened to be Marcia. I hoped he had good insurance.

  ‘What the fuck’s going on here?’ James wondered out loud. I was thinking exactly the same thing.

  ‘Go get Jake,’ I said, kissing him, ‘I’ll be with Mike over there. He looks like the world’s coming to an end.’

  James nodded and headed off to the kids’ club. I squeezed my way through the rampaging mass of writhing bodies. It was like doing an assault course with a squadron of horny octopuses.

  ‘Bloody hell�
��my arse is going to be black and blue in the morning after all that groping…Is everyone on drugs?’

  ‘Don’t know, Sal,’ said Mike as I sat down next to him. ‘But there’s definitely something in the air, isn’t there? Allie started it, if I’m honest. And it’s not even the last night…’

  Mike had been staring at his wife as she built up to her finale, and moved right on to the next song – the ‘Cha Cha Slide’. She was dancing it like a pro up on the stage, shouting at everyone to join in down below. They did, but the vast majority were too drunk to know their right from their left, and ended up knocking each other over with flying hips.

  He shook his burly head and turned to face me. He looked as serious as I’ve ever seen him.

  ‘What’s up with her, Sal? There’s something wrong – she’s hardly spoken to me since we got here, and she avoids being alone with me as much as she can. If she’s met someone else, I wish she’d tell me. Lord knows I deserve it, the way I’ve behaved in the past. But all this crap isn’t good for her. She’s trying too hard – looking like the party queen up there, but she’s not right inside. I caught her crying in the bathroom the other day. She wouldn’t tell me what was wrong – just slammed the door in my face and locked it. All I can come up with is that she’s having an affair.’

  I reached out and held one of his enormous hands in mine. He was built like a bear, but looked like a lost child.

  ‘Mike, I’m sure there’s nobody else – even if she has read Miss McTavish’s book. She loves you, and she’d never do that to you. I’ve noticed as well – from that first day, she’s seemed…off. And since then, she’s avoided being on her own with me, even though I thought she’d be gagging to pick my brains about James. You’re right – she’s upset about something, but I’m one hundred per cent sure it’s not another man. Do you want me to have a word with her?’

  ‘If you would, Sal, that’d be grand. I’d really appreciate it. She might open up a bit more to you.’

  He gave my hand a squeeze and went back to his beer. He drained almost a full pint in one slurp, so he must have been feeling better. I promised myself I’d pin Allie down the next day. I might be enjoying my big romance, but my friend clearly needed me, whether she was willing to admit it or not. Allie had been there for me last summer, all the way from Naughty Nurse Nancy onwards. Now it was my turn.

  James emerged from the kids’ club complex, holding Jake by the hand. He lifted him up and Jake wrapped his little legs around his waist, his arms clinging to his dad’s neck. They made their way through the crowds towards us.

  I gave Mike a kiss on the cheek, and walked over to a quieter table near the back. James sat on the chair next to me, Jake still on his knee.

  ‘Daddy, can I sit on Sally’s lap? She’s way more comfy than you,’ he said, yawning.

  ‘Yeah, she is, isn’t she?’ said James, as his son scampered over and settled himself in my arms. He wriggled down and nestled his face up against my chest with a contented sigh. Like father like son. His eyes were barely open and I could feel his small body slowly going floppy.

  ‘Are you tired, sweetie?’ I asked.

  ‘No, don’t be silly! I’m going to stay up all night!’

  ‘Okay, darling, you do that,’ I said, kissing his head. I felt my heart swell with fondness for him. I loved my kids, for all their flaws, but nothing quite beat the feeling of a little one collapsed in your arms.

  ‘I’ll get us a drink,’ James said, smiling at us both as he stood up, ‘I think I need one.’

  ‘Me too. Allie’s gone nuts, and Mike’s worried sick about her. Jenny and Ian aren’t themselves. And Marcia and Rick…well, let’s not even go there. I never thought I’d say this, but I feel pretty sane in comparison to everyone else this year.’

  ‘You’re right,’ he replied, grinning. ‘It must be bad.’

  He headed off to the bar, waylaid en route by Jenny, insisting he gave her a tango dip. He flipped her down as if she weighed as much as a bag of sugar, then pulled her back to her feet and into his chest with a dramatic slam. She screamed with laughter, and ran off to find other partners in her quest for ballroom excellence.

  By that point Allie was reaching the end of a rousing solo performance of ‘I Will Survive’, yelling, ‘Come on, Blue Bay! Make some noise!’ into the microphone.

  James returned, placed our drinks on the table, and shook his head in amazement, staying quiet as he examined Jake for signs of sleep.

  As if sensing his scrutiny, Jake shuffled his head up and opened one eye. He was winding a piece of my hair around his fingers as he spoke.

  ‘Dad, Matthew said he saw Sally kissing you earlier, and that Sally’s your girlfriend now. Is that true?’

  I locked eyes with James and waited. It wasn’t my question to answer.

  He pulled his chair right next to us, and reached over to ruffle Jake’s hair. Then he settled back and put his arm around my shoulders as we sat there. I pretended I was breathing normally and stared off into the distance. No pressure here, no sirree.

  ‘Yeah, Sally is my girlfriend, Jake. Is that okay with you?’

  ‘Course it is. She’s really soft and squishy. Sally, does that mean you’ll come and live in our house? Will Ollie come too? He’s so cool…’

  ‘Well, maybe we’ll just come and visit,’ I said.

  ‘To start with,’ added James.

  Jake nodded, content with all our answers, and went to sleep almost immediately. He was warm and snug and just right. The music had quietened. The stars were shining. James’s thigh was pressed against mine and his fingers were absently caressing the back of my neck.

  I was so happy, it scared me.

  Chapter 34

  It was my birthday. Again. Weird how that kept happening.

  I was indulging in my traditional birthday breakfast of Turkish delight, sitting with Allie, who this morning seemed manically happy – a bit of a surprise considering the way she’d behaved towards me when I’d tried to talk to her the day before.

  I’d spent ages trying to find her, and being told she was water-skiing, playing tennis, doing yoga – anything, in fact, other than sitting still. It was like tracking the Scarlet Pimpernel, if he went on posh package holidays.

  By the time I’d found her, determined to fulfil my promise to Mike, the sun was slithering low over the distant island, and her long, lean body was striped with shade as she lay stretched out on a sun lounger by the pool.

  I’d sat down next to her, and passed over the drink I’d brought from the bar.

  ‘Is everything okay with you, Allie?’ I’d asked, once we’d made our greetings and she’d slurped down half the G&T. ‘You seem a bit…intense this year.’

  She’d slipped her sunglasses on, which was completely unnecessary at that time of day. Dusk was coming in fast, and the hazy natural light was starting to be replaced by the lamps and lanterns that were already fluttering into life.

  ‘Yeah. I’m okay. I’m sorry if I’ve been a bit off with everyone. I know Mike’s worried, and Max thinks I’m going through my change of life. That’s probably it; it’ll be wonky woman hormones. Please don’t worry about me. I’m absolutely fine.’

  She’d stood up abruptly, gathering her towel and book and sun cream up in her arms.

  ‘Got to go Sal, I’m freezing out here. See you later.’

  It was nowhere near freezing. And it was nowhere near sunny enough for shades. And Allie was nowhere near fine – but she didn’t seem to want to talk about it. Mike was right – something was definitely off, and I felt both worried about Allie, and a bit hurt that she wouldn’t talk to me about it.

  Last year, she’d been my best Blue-Bay friend, and over the intervening months, it had been her friendship and phone calls and our weekend away that had helped me recover from Simon as much as James had. Now, she was closed off, evasive, manic. She hadn’t even asked what James was like in bed, which was very unlike her.

  This morning, she was like a differen
t person, though – humming with excitement.

  ‘We’ve planned a birthday surprise for you,’ she said, beaming. ‘I’ve told James and he thinks it’s the best idea ever.’

  ‘Go on then,’ I said, ‘the suspense is killing me.’

  ‘We’re going away for the night – well, not you or James, just the rest of us. We’ve hired a gulet – that’s one of those wooden cruise boats. We’re going after lunch and we won’t be back till tomorrow.’

  That sounded very nice, but I couldn’t understand why it was a present for me. They weren’t even taking me on their fabulous trip.

  ‘Mike and I are going, and Max. And Lucy, and Ollie, and Jake, and Rick and Marcia, and Jenny and Ian…’

  The only names that registered on that list were Jake, Lucy and Ollie. That meant all three of our kids. Gone, for the whole night. The light slowly dawned and I jumped up to give her a hug.

  ‘Allie, you are the best! Thank you so much, that’s amazing. I can’t wait to…to—’

  ‘I can imagine. So, anyway, I’m off to pack for the night.’

  She held my hands in hers, and gave me a small, sad smile. Even now, when we were alone, and when she was clearly keen to give me a happy birthday, she was retreating back into her uncharacteristic solitude.

  ‘Enjoy every minute of it – life’s too short to waste the good things, and James is definitely one of the good things.’

  That sounded ominous, and my anxiety levels in relation to Allie ratcheted up another notch. She’d looked happy enough, but those words…they didn’t sound it.

  Still, I knew she was right. Whatever her state of mind, and I would get to the bottom of it, she was right.

  James was one of the very best things. He’d built me back up after Simon knocked me down. He’d helped me see my own worth at a time when nobody else did. And he’d made me come more times in two weeks than I had in the last decade.