by Shealy James
I felt my forehead wrinkle in confusion. “Who are they for? These are my favorite.”
“Brent.”
“Why does he get brownies? And why did Pop’s and Preston get chocolate cupcakes?” I knew I sounded like a child, but I didn’t care. I wanted her to make desserts for me and only me. I would share, but it meant something when Maggie baked me treats.
“Because.”
“Wait, are you dating Brent?”
“What? No. We work out together sometimes. We went to get ice cream one day, and he mentioned that he loved brownies. I happen to know these are good, so I thought I would make him some for doing a favor for me.”
“What favor?” I asked not sure I wanted to know the answer.
“He came and talked to you dummy.” Oh. That favor.
“So, I’ve been replaced?” She looked at me with her head quirked to the side in confusion, so I elaborated, “As your favorite workout partner?”
“You can’t keep up with me yet. When you can, you can start running with me again.”
“What about Brent?”
“What about him? He’s a senior and going to grad school in Texas. He leaves after finals to go home.” She knew an awful lot about him. It made me wonder how often they hung out.
“Would you be dating him if he weren’t leaving?”
“I don’t know. He’s nice, and we like each other, but I already did that with Garrett and look how that worked out.” She poured the batter in the pan and dumped everything in the sink. Once the pan was in the oven, she went over and started rinsing dishes to load in the dishwasher. I joined her hoping that it would earn me some brownie points, literally.
“Yeah. Long distance is a terrible idea.”
“Yeah? Thanks Mr. Relationship Expert.”
“I hear things. I have a lot of friends who have tried relationships.”
“Well, I’m not really worried about it.” She put the last dish in the dishwasher and didn’t even give me the spoon before she rinsed it. She stepped away to close the dishwasher door and then turned to face me. We were so close that I could have just leaned down a few inches…
“Ready to study?” Moment ruined.
Later that week, I had to watch Brent flirt with Maggie over dinner one night at the Tavern. We had all decided to go out after our last final, and the band was playing at the bar. Becca and Sarah were talking about Billy the whole time. I definitely did not need to hear most of that about my friend. I’ll never understand why girls share everything with everyone. Ladies, some things are meant to be kept quiet.
I tried to focus my attention elsewhere, but Max was doing something on his phone as usual, so I was forced to watch Maggie and Brent talking and laughing and leaning closer towards each other as the dinner progressed.
“So, Brent,” I said getting his attention, “When do you leave? Maggie said you were graduating.”
“Yeah, I leave Saturday. I’m headed home to Texas to get my Master’s degree, but I have to intern this summer for the company that is going to pay for my degree.”
“Interesting. So you’re done with basketball?”
“For now I’m going to be the assistant coach at my high school until I finish school and can find another coaching position.”
“You gonna keep in touch with Maggie?”
“Parker,” she warned, but I couldn’t help myself.
“Well?”
“I don’t know.” He was clearly uncomfortable, but I kept staring at him waiting for his response. “We’re friends.”
“Oh is that all?” I knew I was being an asshole, but for some reason I couldn’t stop myself. She used to talk to me like that. She was my other half when we were out with our friends. It wasn’t that I minded not having anyone. I minded someone else being all over my Maggie, which also pissed me off. When did I get so possessive over a girl? And why did it have to be over a girl whom I would never be good enough for?
“Yeah. That’s all. What’s your problem, Parker?” Brent asked with a nod of his head. He was challenging me.
Max’s head popped up at that question. “Parker? What’s going on?”
“I’m sick of guys coming in and leading Maggie on. It gets really old to watch. She doesn’t need any more bull shit from guys who want to use her. Why she can’t find a guy who will actually stick around for her is beyond me, but I’m not going to sit here quietly while another asshole starts something that he can’t continue.” I knew I was out of control, and if I didn’t shut up I would say something I didn’t mean or even worse…something I did.
“That’s enough!” Maggie snapped.
“Yes. Yes it is.” I got up and walked out.
Senior Year
Chapter 16
Maggie
That night after finals in the Tavern there was a heated moment between Parker and Brent, and Parker walked out after announcing to the table that I’m incapable of finding a guy who actually wants me. Sarah looked at the empty chair. “What the hell is his problem?”
“I don’t know. I’ll be right back.” I stood up, threw my napkin on my plate, and followed Parker out of the Tavern. It was dark outside, and thunder was rumbling a few miles away. In the parking lot I reached him as he was opening his car door.
“What the hell, Parker?”
“Go back inside Maggie.”
“What’s your problem? This is what I was talking about. One minute everything is fine and the next you’re snapping for no apparent reason. I don’t get it Parker. I really don’t, so I need you to explain it to me.”
“My problem? Maggie that guy is all over you, and he is leaving next week. You should be asking what his problem is.”
“First of all, he wasn’t all over me. Second, so what? I know he’s leaving. He isn’t leading me on. If something did happen, it would be fine because I’m fully aware that he’s leaving. Why does it matter to you anyway? I’m not your problem, and you’re not mine like you so kindly pointed out the other day!”
“You’re my problem, Maggie!”
“No, I’m not!”
He stepped closer. A bolt of lightning flashed across the sky. “Yes, you are!” He grabbed my face and slammed his lips down on mine. His soft lips opened, and his tongue slipped into my mouth coaxing mine to do the same. I kissed him back and his hands moved to my back to pull me closer to him. It was like we were letting out all the pent up frustration that we had felt for the last three years right when thundered rumbled loudly around us.
Finally, I broke the kiss and put my hands on his firm chest to push him away. “I can’t do this Parker.”
“Maggie-” He held me to him.
“I can’t do this. This can’t just be a thing. I don’t want just a night with you or a week or a month.” I paused for a moment and spoke quietly, “I don’t think I could handle it when you change your mind.”
We stood still for a second, and he put his forehead to mine. “I’m sorry.” Rain was starting to drip and the lightning flashed again.
“I know.” I pushed him to separate us, and I turned and walked back inside without looking back. I heard his car start and then peel out of the parking lot. I will not cry. I will not cry. When I made it inside, the conversation had continued like Parker was never there.
When I sat back down, Brent asked, “You ok?”
“Yeah.” I said a little too cheerfully. Max and Sarah eyed me suspiciously, but I wouldn’t meet their gazes. “It’s starting to storm.”
Max nodded like he understood and said, “That’s an understatement.”
Brent sat back, and we finished our dinner and headed to the bar to see Billy play for Sarah. Parker wasn’t there. In fact we didn’t see him the rest of the weekend.
Summer had officially begun, and I went home for the first two weeks. I had to come back for soccer and class though. Parker was still living in the house, but I hardly saw him. Sarah said he was playing with the band a lot and seemed really out of it. I did notice that he
wasn’t wearing his brace, which was a good sign. One Saturday we saw each other in passing, and I asked him if he was up to running yet. He said he was working on it in physical therapy and with Mike, the team trainer. That was really the extent of our conversation. In fact, that was the most we spoke all summer.
Summer both flew by and crawled painfully slowly. When the first week of class arrived, I felt a twinge of sadness knowing this was my last year of college. The first week was the same as always, new classes, new professors, and new players on the soccer team. Max actually went running with me every day that first week. He said he had been missing our runs, but I think he felt as anxious as I did about our last year. Who knows where we would be next year? For the first time in our lives, Max and I could be separated, and neither of us liked that idea one bit.
That Friday night, we all went to the club and had a good time, even Parker, but I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I ended up going home early. Something felt off. I still felt like that when I woke up the next morning.
I called my parents to check on them, and they were fine. Dad was on a trip, but he had time to talk to me for a minute. I called both of my sisters- all good. I called my grandmother. She was out playing golf. I even called Max’s parents- nada. I called Dr. Pryce, and he wanted to know when I was coming over for dinner. He was doing well. I had seen him and Preston every week over the summer, so I felt close to them. I saw them more than Parker it seemed. Today, they were doing well. Still, I couldn’t shake the horrible feeling.
I went for my morning run trying to ease the ball of anxiety that had built up in my stomach, but it didn’t help. I tried to eat breakfast at the café with Max, but I couldn’t.
Max asked, “What’s wrong Mags? Why aren’t you eating?”
“I can’t. My stomach hurts. I feel like something is wrong.”
“What do you mean? Are you sick? Do you need to go to the doctor?”
“No, not like that. I don’t know. I can’t figure it out. I called everyone today, but it feels like something isn’t right.”
“Everything’s fine Mags. You’re just feeling off because it’s our last year. You know change is coming.”
“Yeah, I thought that too, but I’m not sure that is what this is.”
That afternoon, I called my parents and my sisters again. My grandmother called me when she got my message and proceeded to spend a half-hour telling me about her golf game that day. I made Max call his mother. Everything was great with everyone, but something was still off. I could feel it.
Sarah, Becca, Rachel and I went to a matinee movie, and even the distraction didn’t help. We went home and ate dinner together with Max, Parker, and even Billy since the band wasn’t playing. We played cards and laughed. Sarah tried to get us to play truth or dare, but none of us were willing to play considering we were all sober.
I went to bed early, but I didn’t get much sleep. Around two in the morning, I heard my phone going off. I saw on the screen that it was Carolyn, so I picked it up.
“Carolyn?”
“Maggie. You need to get down here. Daddy is in the hospital. He had chest pain, and couldn’t even talk, Maggie. Get up and get in the car. Get Max.” She sounded panicked.
“Is he ok?”
“I don’t know Maggie. I just got here. You need to come down.”
“Ok. I’m getting dressed and am on my way. I’ll call you when we are almost to the hospital. Call when you know something.”
“Ok bye kid.”
I hung up the phone and flew to my door and threw it open. “MAX! Max! Get up!”
I turned around and started changing clothes with my door wide open. I didn’t have time to care who saw me naked. Max came to his door, “Maggie? What’s wrong?”
“It’s Daddy. Get dressed. We have to go home.” No questions asked. He darted back to his room to throw on some clothes.
Parker and Sarah came out their doors as I was putting on shoes on the floor in the hallway. “Maggie?”
“Max! Hurry up!”
Parker came over to me. As soon as looked into his worried face, I burst into tears. Sarah was immediately at my side. “Maggie, what’s wrong?” I heard the words, but I couldn’t make out the meaning or hear who was saying them.
Max came and pulled me up. “Come on Mags. Let’s go.”
I followed him to his car and jumped in the passenger seat. He flew out of the driveway and started heading towards home. The feeling in my stomach was back. Something was wrong with Daddy.
Carolyn called when we were about halfway there telling me that he was having some tests run, but he was still really uncomfortable.
“It’ll be ok, Mags. Hang in there. We’ll be there soon.” My entire body was shaking. This could not be happening. Not Daddy. He was only fifty-two. That was single-handedly the longest and scariest drive of my life.
Parker
Max called that morning to tell us that Maggie’s dad had chest pain, and he was going to have to stay in the hospital to have emergency bypass surgery. Max said Maggie was a mess, and his mom had come up to the hospital to take care of Maggie. Apparently her mother was only speaking to the doctors and Maggie’s sisters.
I felt terrible for her. Her dad meant everything to her. I knew too well what it felt like to lose the parent you rely on the most. This hit all too close to home for me. Sarah and I talked about going down there, but Max said to wait until they knew more. He thought the surgery would be the next day or the day after depending on how he did with coming off of the blood thinners.
In the meantime, I contacted all of Maggie’s professors since we had the same ones and our coaches, and we had Becca find out about Max’s classes. Pops helped get in touch with everyone. He was really worried about Maggie too. He called several times throughout the day to see if we had heard anything. Sarah and I kept our phones on us, but it wasn’t until dinner time when Max called to tell us they were doing surgery tomorrow morning. We decided we would drive down in the morning, and show up while they were waiting.
The drive down was long considering we left at six, and Sarah slept the whole way. We drove straight to the hospital to sit with Maggie while she waited. When we arrived and found the right waiting room, Mrs. Miller was with Max’s mom drinking coffee at a table in the corner, and Maggie was curled up in a chair with a blanket over her. She was wearing the same clothes as yesterday and had her hair in a lop-sided messy knot that had shifted to the side of her head. Her eyes were wide open and glazed over. I was sure that she hadn’t gone home since she arrived, but Max confirmed it and told me and Sarah to try and get her to go home and shower and rest. He said she hadn’t eaten much either, and things were not good with her mother.
When she turned her face to see who was there, I saw that she was really pale and had dark circles under her eyes. She looked the worst I had ever seen her, but even so, she was beautiful. As soon as she saw us tears started pouring from her eyes. She stood up and hugged Sarah and then me and told us that we didn’t need to come all this way. I kept my arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to me while we stood there and talked, and she didn’t move away. I didn’t want to let her go. She felt fragile today when she usually seemed so strong.
Maggie’s mother came over and greeted us like we were at the country club. Then she said, “Why don’t the four of you head over to the house? Maggie, go home and take a shower and change. You look awful. Your sisters are on their way back. If all four of you’re there, you won’t miss a phone call.”
“Yeah, Mags. Let’s go home for a little while,” Max added while glaring at Mrs. Miller.
She looked like she wanted to argue, but it was like she didn’t have the strength. Tears started dropping out of her eyes and down her cheeks. I pulled her closer to me “Ok. Call me if you hear anything. We will be back in a couple of hours. Do you want me to bring you anything, Mother?”
“No. You’ve done enough,” she snapped, and I wondered what Maggie did, if an
ything.
“Yes Ma’am.”
Max’s mom hugged her while her mother walked back over to the table and sat down, and then we all headed to the parking lot. I drove Maggie in my car, and Sarah drove Max since he hadn’t slept much. Maggie fell asleep as soon as the engine started. What is it with girls sleeping in my car today?
She didn’t wake up when I gently shook her, so I knew that she wasn’t getting up. My leg had healed, and I had been running on it, so I felt like I could probably carry her up to her room. I walked around to the passenger side, and lifted her up in my arms. Sarah and Max came over and grabbed our bags and closed the door. I carried Maggie inside and took her to her room. She felt lighter than the last time I carried her, but it could be because I was sober, but I swear she felt smaller and breakable. I took her shoes off and tucked her under the covers. I kissed her forehead because I couldn’t help myself, and then I stepped out and closed her door. Sarah was smiling at me when I turned to the doorway.
“Don’t,” I whispered.
“I’m not saying anything,” she said and held her hands up in surrender.
Max ran next door to shower and change, and Sarah and I went to the kitchen to see Eliza. She made us some breakfast and chatted with us about what happened. Max wasn’t gone long, and after breakfast we hung out and watched a movie in the family room.
“Hey Max. What did Maggie’s mom mean when she told Maggie that she had done enough?”
“Last night Karen had a meltdown. She started yelling at Maggie that this was all her fault, that if Jim didn’t have to worry about Maggie all of the time, he wouldn’t be in the hospital. Karen wouldn’t let Maggie go see him yesterday. Catherine and Carolyn were even trying to change her mind. She said some really awful things, and Maggie took it then tried to tell me that her mother was only saying those things because she was under so much stress. I didn’t argue with Maggie, but I have been around a long time, and that woman has crossed the line too many times to think that the stress of this particular incident caused her outburst.”