Finding Me, Finding You (Finding #1)

by Shealy James

  I recognized Moonlight Sonata and a few other pieces. He played a couple of classic rock ballads that I knew were his favorites mixed in with classical pieces and a few jazz pieces. After several songs, he stopped and looked right at his father and brother who also had tears streaming unabashedly down their faces. Parker said, “This last one is for Mom.”

  A screen behind Parker that I hadn’t noticed before began showing images and videos of this beautiful young woman and her young children running around. One child was playing the piano and several other instruments throughout the video. With the dark hair and dark eyes, there was no doubt those boys were Parker and Preston. The woman was Parker’s mom. She was beautiful, and it was clear that he resembled her more than his father. He was definitely her son. She had long dark brown hair that curled naturally at the ends. In every image she was smiling.

  He played Fϋr Elise for her, her favorite song that he had learned over a weekend as a child when she requested it. As Parker transitioned to another sadder song, the images changed showing a smaller version of that beautiful woman. She was still lovely, still smiling even when she sat in her recliner frail with a scarf around her head and blankets around her body. This video gave everyone else a glimpse into those wonderful private years Parker had with his mother.

  I felt Preston sobbing quietly next to me. I held his hand tighter and leaned against his shoulder as tears dripped from my face onto the arm that held my right hand to my aching heart. When he was finished, he stood and stepped out from behind the piano. Parker’s dad, the band, Max, Sarah, and Becca all stood and started cheering. Preston and I sat there frozen, my hand still gripping his. Dr. Pryce rushed up to Parker and hugged him fussing over how proud he was. The band was also super excited hugging him and patting him on the back. Sarah and Becca went up to him as well.

  Preston and I watched everything unfold. I could hear Max trying to get my attention, but I just couldn’t move. Finally he got up and left me alone. Parker’s dad brought him over to Preston who finally stood up when his brother came closer. Preston hugged his brother tightly and cried. Parker just held him in his arms. Their dad wrapped his arms around them both. He was so proud of his sons, and this may have been the first time Preston felt his mother’s absence like Parker had all these years.

  I was vaguely aware that everyone had stepped out of the room except Parker, Preston, their dad, and me. Jerry was standing behind the piano away from the tender moment between a father and his sons. I thought for a moment that I should leave them, but then Parker separated from them and came over to me.

  “What did you think?”

  I wrapped my arms around his neck and stood up on my toes. “You’re amazing,” I whispered in his ear. I felt him smile against his cheek as he wrapped his arms tightly around me and buried his face in my neck. Then I felt Preston’s arms and Dr. Pryce’s arms wrap around us, and I was in the middle of a Pryce family hug. It felt unusually comfortable. This moment was so grand and joyful that it took all of us to celebrate it together.

  Dr. Pryce pulled away and wiped his face with his big paws, “Ok. Let’s go to dinner and really celebrate.”

  Parker

  I do not know the words to describe how I felt playing up there tonight for the people I love most in life. For one thing I can’t believe I actually played for them. At first I was so nervous that I didn’t think I would be able to do it, but when I saw Pops and Preston, I knew I had to play for them, to honor Mom for them. They needed it as much as I did. After I finished playing and looked up and saw them, I knew it had been worth it. Pops was crying, but he was so thrilled. Preston, on the other hand, was gripping Maggie so tightly I thought she might break. I think he probably needed this the most.

  Preston could pretend that she wasn’t sick, and he could pretend that she wasn’t gone, but for him to really deal with our loss, he had to see it and feel it, just like I needed to hear it and feel it. This moment allowed him to do that with Pops and me right here with him. He even had Maggie to hold his hand when he needed someone.

  Maggie had become important to all of us. It was like she was already part of my family. When I hugged her, Preston wrapped his arms around us like it was the most natural thing in the world. Pops did the same. Of course they always hug Maggie when she comes to the house, but I thought it was because she brought food. This moment was special because I was wrapped in the arms of the three most important people in the world to me. The only person missing was Mom, but she was there. She was the one holding us all together.

  Jerry came over and spoke with us for a moment. Then we all walked out to the lobby where everyone was waiting. Preston and Maggie were wiping the tears from their faces. I kept Maggie’s hand in mine the whole time.

  “Everyone ready to celebrate?” Pops asked.

  Grady replied, “Thanks Dr. Pryce, we would love to, but we are playing in an hour or so. Park, you coming by tonight?”

  “Yeah. Sure.” I looked down at Maggie, and she nodded.

  Grady shook Pop’s hand, “Thanks for the offer, but we will grab something at the bar.” He turned to me, “Glad to have you back, Parker.”

  “Thanks, man.” I told Grady as they walked out the door. “Pops, I have to go get my stuff, so I’ll meet you there. Mags, you want to stay and ride with me?”

  She smiled brightly up at me, and I was sure that smile could cure cancer or create sunlight. “Sure.”

  “That ok, Max?”

  “Yeah. I’ll take Sarah and Becca, and follow you Dr. Pryce.”

  “Sounds good. See ya there.”

  They all left after another round of kind words, and I guided Maggie to the rehearsal room that I used. “Come on.” In my rehearsal room, I showed her what I had been up to while she was at home with her dad this semester. I showed her the music and instruments. “I’ve been playing here every weekend for hours. I have played all of my old instruments, but the piano is the one my mother taught me first, and the one I play best.”

  “Parker, tonight was amazing. You’re amazing. What you did for your father and brother, it was really special. Your mother was beautiful.”

  I walked up and took the jar of coins from her before wrapping my arms around her waist. “You’re beautiful, and I don’t just mean tonight.”

  She flushed and smiled, but she didn’t look at her feet like she normally does when she gets complimented. “You aren’t so bad yourself. I like you in a suit.”

  “Yeah, I had to get a new one. I had apparently grown a lot since the last time I performed in a jacket.” I crossed my arms in front of me showing how easily I could move in my jacket making her giggle.

  “You look perfect. I’m sure I have mascara and streaks down my face right now from crying through the whole thing, but I don’t even care. Tonight was amazing.”

  I quickly put my arms back around her. “Nope, no black streaks down your face. You’re stunning. Tonight was amazing, so thank you for being here, for me and for Preston. I don’t think he would have made it through without you.” I grabbed her hand and kissed it. “I hope he didn’t hurt you.”

  “I think we were holding on to each other. It may be his hand you should be worried about.”

  “Nah. He’ll be fine. You know why I needed you here, right? I’m trying to show you and Pops that I’m stronger. I’m not going to be the person I was when Mom was alive; I want to be a better version of myself, the best version of myself. I want to be the kind of man who deserves a girl like you. I want to deserve you.”

  “Oh, Parker. It isn’t about deserving anyone. If anything, I’m unworthy of you. You’re kind and passionate and strong where I’m naïve and inexperienced. We will always see the best in others and the weaknesses within ourselves, part of the human condition and all. You and I agreed to be patient with each other, but I think we may also need to be patient with ourselves. When we feel like we are the best version of ourselves, we will be able to accept all our heart’s desire. For now though, my heart
desires food, so let’s go.”

  I laughed and hugged her tightly. “How did you get to be so smart, Maggie Anne?”

  “Years of reading romance novels. They are really enlightening. Now get your stuff.” She said with a smirk.

  I kissed her on her forehead, and stepped away to get my bag and the jar of coins. I guided her out of the room, and turned the lights of and closed the door. Maggie was still going to be patient with me. Tonight wasn’t about winning Maggie over. No, tonight was about Pops, Preston, and me moving on with our lives.

  When we made it to my favorite Italian restaurant, everyone was already seated. Sarah eyed Maggie and me suspiciously, but we both ignored her. I could only imagine what she was thinking. I sat down next to Pops with Maggie next to me. Sarah was sitting next to Preston, which he seemed to really enjoy. At one point during our dinner, Maggie leaned over and whispered, “I think Preston’s in love.”

  “She is definitely out of his league.” We had a private laugh at their expense when he gave her his version of sex eyes, and she patted him on top of the head like a puppy.

  Max was unusually talkative with Pops, and Becca was her typical quiet self while staying part of the group somehow. Maggie looked happy; I know I was. When I planned the day, I could have never imagined it would turn out this well. After dinner, we said good-bye to Pops, but Preston decided to join us at the bar. He had never been there before seeing as he would never risk having a fake id, but Tripp let him in without checking since he was with us. He wasn’t going to drink with me there anyway, so I knew he wouldn’t cause problems.

  The band had already started when we walked in, but it didn’t take Grady long to see us and announce my presence. He really needed to stop doing that, but for tonight, I didn’t mind. I was happy to go up and play. Maggie and Sarah pulled Preston out on the dance floor during the set that I played. He was keeping up with the girls, which made me wonder where he had been hanging out.

  I only played a couple of songs before I handed the guitar back over. I’d had enough for the night. During the break, the band came down to hang out with us. We were sitting at a table near the stage off to the side of the dance floor that was now pretty empty. When they came over, I pulled Maggie into my lap, and she looked cautious until she saw I was making room for Grady. Sarah moved, so Billy could sit under her, and I think Preston’s heart broke a little when he realized that she was taken.

  We sat and talked with the band until Vinny came and told them to head back up to the stage. I told them that we were going to head out and gave them all except Alexis hugs. I waved to her. I wasn’t ignoring her per se, but after that incredibly stupid night, I didn’t touch her or indicate to her that I wanted any more to do with her. She was still part of the band, so we were bound to hang out, but there was no need to encourage her flirting.

  I walked out of the bar with Maggie’s hand in mine, which felt normal...it felt right. Preston decided to spend the night at our house since it was late and Pop’s was probably asleep. He was going to sleep on the couch, but Maggie told me to let him sleep in my room, which meant I would be in her room again.

  Strangely no one, including Pops and Preston, asked about mine and Maggie’s relationship, and we were both glad. I wasn’t ready to explain or define it. All I knew was that it was working for us. I knew it wouldn’t work like this forever, but for now we agreed on patience.

  The next morning Maggie and I were up first like always. We made a big breakfast for everyone but specifically for Preston, who had a known love for Maggie’s cooking. After breakfast, I took him home while Maggie cleaned up. We were going to go workout and study when I returned, so I had a whole day with her to look forward to…and hopefully another whole night with her in my arms.

  Chapter 20

  Maggie

  When Parker left to take Preston home, Sarah and I cleaned the kitchen and the common areas that had been sadly neglected over the last couple of weeks. It went a lot faster with both of us helping. I knew she was helping to give us time to talk, so it didn’t surprise me she said, “So, I saw Alexis hug you last night when y’all were leaving. Did she say anything to you?”

  “Nothing unusual. Why?”

  “She was looking at you and Parker strangely when you sat on his lap. Maybe her scowl was about something else though.”

  “She is always scowling.”

  “True. I was glad to see that he is becoming more open about your relationship.”

  “We don’t have a relationship.”

  “Someone should tell Parker that then. We are used to you two being cuddly and sneaky here, but now it is happening in public. That’s a good sign.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Nothing is going on. We are not sneaky either.”

  “So nothing happened when you stayed back with him before going to dinner? Nothing happens every night that you sleep in the same bed?”

  I sighed, “Nope. Nothing.” Even if we were officially something more, I wasn’t ready to talk about it. I wasn’t sure it was going to mean anything or last, so I wanted to continue to believe that Parker and I were just friends, no matter how dumb or naïve that was. I couldn’t trust my heart yet, even if my heart knew that I was in love with Parker Pryce.

  “I for one do not believe that. Cuddling over the last three months has to mean more than buddies or roommates. Did you ever cuddle like that with Max?”

  “No, but-”

  “Exactly. You may not be willing to admit it, but you’re in love with Parker, and I would be willing to bet my favorite Jimmy Choo’s that Parker Pryce is head over heels in love with you too.” She left the room after dropping that bomb.

  I froze. My stomach tied itself into knots. I hadn’t really thought of that. What is he feels the same? What if he is waiting for me to make a move? We are agreeing to be patient, but what if patience turns into perpetual standoff. What if I were to make a move? What is the worst that could happen? He could reject you. Patience, I’ll stick with patience.

  Parker came home while I was still pondering this in the kitchen. “Uhh. What are you doing?”

  “What? Oh. Umm. Cleaning the counters.”

  “Yeah? How long have you been going over that one spot?” I was still rubbing the spot that I had when Sarah’s bomb exploded in my mind. I stilled.

  “Oh. Sorry. I am…I was distracted. Ready to go workout?”

  “Yeah. Go change and we’ll go.”

  I looked down. I was still in my pajamas, a tank top and shorts. “Oh. Ok.”

  “Mags, you ok?” Hmm…was I ok? I wasn’t sure. I felt awkward after thinking about the feelings we might have for each other. It was easier when I hadn’t thought about what was really going on. I shook my head and decided to try and be normal. I had become a pro at pretending around Parker.

  “Yeah. Fine. Great. Be right back.” I ran upstairs and changed.

  We went to the gym. It was really cold out for this early in the year, so the gym was the best bet. I stayed on the elliptical for the entire hour when Parker came to get me. I hadn’t even realized an hour had past.

  “Ok. I have done everything I can in this gym. You ready yet?”

  I looked down at my machine, and it was at seventy-four min and thirty-three seconds, and I had gone way more miles than I do in a typical session. I had just zoned out. “Yeah. I’m sorry. I just got distracted.”

  “What’s going on? You’ve been distracted since I got back? Did your mom call? Is everything okay with your dad?”

  “No. Everything is fine. Let’s go. I need a shower.” My legs felt like jello, and I was drenched in sweat.

  After getting cleaned up, we grabbed lunch on the way to the library. Our cubicle was open, so we brought our food in and set up all of our stuff for a long day of studying. We were getting close to finals, so we had to be focused, and I really needed the distraction from the distraction. We studied until it was almost eight, then Parker and I headed home for dinner. We were there right as Max and Bec
ca were putting the food they made out. After spending the day with Parker, I was feeling better and almost forgot about the conversation that Sarah and I had earlier…almost.

  For the next couple of weeks everything was great. I pretended I wasn’t in love with Parker and still slept in the same bed with him every night, and then I went home for Thanksgiving. While I was home, I missed Parker like crazy. We talked every night, but it was hard to sleep without him close to me. He consumed most of my nighttime thoughts, and by Friday, I was incredibly cranky from lack of sleep. I had a game that weekend, so my parents and sisters were driving back with me. It was a tradition we started my first year of school.

  By the time we made it to the house, I felt rough from the little bit of restless sleep that I got during the week. My mother kept reminding me that I looked terrible and asked if I was sick. She felt my forehead at least thirty times. The last time she touched me, I slapped her hand away. She stormed off, which made me feel worse. Daddy was nice about my crabbiness. “Why don’t we leave you alone tonight? You need to rest for the game.” He turned to Parker and Max. “No going out tonight. My little girl needs to rest. She hasn’t been this crabby since she was an infant.”

  “Bye Daddy.” I said, irritated at the infant comment. I knew what the problem was. I missed Parker. Either we would need to stop sleeping in the same bed altogether or he had to start coming home with me. I felt miserable being this cranky.

  When everyone left, I went up to my room to try and sleep even though it was really early. Parker came in a short while later. “Why the mood, Mags?”

  “Haven’t slept much.”

  “Ah. Miss me?”

  “I think we need to sleep in separate beds from now on. I’m miserable to be around when I go home.”

  He smiled and climbed onto my bed. “Then I guess we can’t go four days without seeing each other because I don’t want to sleep without you when you’re here,” he said as he moved under the covers and pulled me against him. “Go to sleep. I’m going to watch a movie, but for the record, I missed you too, so I’m glad you came home early. It would have been hard to play tomorrow without any sleep.” I smiled and quickly fell asleep in his arms.