Spurs & Stilettos

by Johnson, Ashley

  I walk back into work staring at the desk that I left empty, but it’s not empty now. There’s a vase with a bouquet of pink daisies in it. There’s also a card attached and I’m a little on edge to open it because if it’s from Brad, I’m going to lose my mind. He’s already quite persistent and he’s not going to give up easily it seems.

  I draw in a deep breath as I grab the card, closing my eyes and brushing my hair behind my ears as I pull it from the envelope. I slowly open my eyes gasping as I read the card, he is so unbelievable!

  I hope I can see you this weekend beautiful.

  I grab my phone immediately texting him while wearing a huge grin on my face.

  Me: Thank you for the daisies, they’re beautiful.

  Wesley: Well you’re beautiful.

  My face has turned so crimson it could give an Alabama jersey a run for its money. Bailey walks in from lunch seeing my face and smiles, “Is that from the new guy?”

  “Yeah,” I smile then frown slightly. “Although I have no idea how he found out where I work. I never told him the name of the firm.”

  “When you like someone, you have your ways of getting to them. You deserve this, girl.” She says and she walks to her desk. Everyone keeps telling me that and I’m beginning to think they’re right.

  Chapter 8

  “Honey I’m home!” I announce walking to the apartment with the cupcakes I picked up.

  The smell of Chinese food permeates from the kitchen and it is nothing short of heavenly. As I round the corner, I spy several cartons of Chinese lying out on the granite counter with two paper plates beside them and a bottle of Chardonnay uncorked and ready for us to drink. This sure beats any night home with Brad already. Having Amber as a roommate definitely has its perks.

  Amber comes walking out, her hair in a bun wearing a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt. I smile running to my room to mimic her idea. Comfort is a plus. I sit on the stool filling my wine glass almost to the brim. It’s been a crazy weekend and it feels damn good to relax on Monday.

  “How was work Amb?”

  “Eh, it was a Monday. What about you?” She takes a big sip and I’m almost positive she’s about to drain her glass in that one sip, but she doesn’t.

  I pop a piece of sweet and sour pork into my mouth and moan as I savor every bite. Mexican food is my favorite, but Chinese is a close second. After washing it down with a sip of Chardonnay, I look at Amber. “Well, I almost forgot my birthday is Sunday. Mom called me and they’re cooking dinner. Also, I want to talk to you about something. Wesley texted earlier and he’s going to be in Austin on Saturday and he said he’ll pay for our hotel room if we go because he wants to see me.”

  Wine sprayed out her mouth as she screamed, “OH MY GOSH!! He likes you a lot!!”

  I laugh trying to dodge the wine that left her mouth. “He sent me daisies at work. I have no idea how he found out the name of the firm.” I’m still baffled by that so I make a mental note to find out later.

  “Girl, that is probably the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard. And don’t kill me, but I may have a date Saturday.”

  My jaw drops at this news. Amber has a date? She hasn’t dated since Mark Granger. He ripped her heart in two and she’s been bitter towards men ever since. She had reason though, he was worse than Brad. She didn’t catch him in bed with another woman; she got a visit at her apartment from his wife. The dirty bastard was working here for the year while his wife and kid were living in Shreveport, Louisiana. He never once told Amber he was married and she fell hard for him. She was convinced she loved him but never actually told him because everything fell through. I was worried to death about her when they split. She locked herself in her room crying her eyes out for what seemed like forever. Surprisingly, the wife realized when she saw Amber’s horror stricken face that she had no idea he was married. Amber washed her hands of him that very minute calling him and putting him on speaker so she and his wife could give him a piece of their mind. Ever since then, she’s been super cautious even with who she flirts with.

  “With who?! And why would I kill you? I’m happy for you!”

  “I met this guy named Jeremy at the gym. He wants to take me out for dinner. Am I ready?”

  I take her hand in mine and basically give her the same advice she’s been giving me. “You deserve to feel Amber. You deserve happiness just like everyone else. You’re an amazing woman. Don’t pass this chance up, not every guy is like Mark. I can handle the drive to Austin alone, I promise. I’ll have my GPS to keep me company.”

  My GPS goes everywhere with me when Amber isn’t there. It hasn’t gotten me lost yet, so I have full and complete faith in it.

  “Hope, are you sure you can handle the drive alone?” Her sympathetic eyes search mine, knowing I’m not too keen on driving alone.

  “I can do it,” I tell myself more than I’m telling her. I haven’t driven a long distance by myself since the accident but it’s another hurdle I need to pass.

  “Look at us both smiling and happy again, someone should document this. You’re going to make it back in time for your birthday dinner, right?”

  “Definitely. Are you going to come too?”

  “Of course, I’ve never missed a single one.”

  She hasn’t. She’s been to every party including my first birthday I’m sure. I miss the princess birthday parties we used to have. Now we’re adults and it downright sucks. I’m going to be 25. I used to have my life planned out and I planned on so many things that weren’t happening now, like being married and having my sister around. To say I’m disappointed in the way things have turned out is an understatement. It’s this gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach that tells me I’ve somewhat failed in some aspects of life but some things you just can’t control.

  We devour our food and then attempt the cupcakes. By 8:00 pm, the bottle of Chardonnay is empty and I feel like I’m walking on air. She pulls out an old yearbook and I die laughing looking at our pictures. Whoever said this was the style a few years back was crazy, we looked insane. It also doesn’t help that my big grin showed metal braces. Thanks to those, I have straight pearly white teeth now. My phone rings sending pure shivers down my spine because I can sense who it is and I’m right. It’s Wesley.

  “I’ve got to take this Amber, don’t post any of those pictures online or I’ll haunt your ass after I die of embarrassment.”

  “Tell lover boy hey!” She laughs before going back to the kitchen in search for more wine. She always keep at least two bottles in the apartment. What can I say? She loves her wine.

  I answer the phone with an almost breathy giggle, “Hey cowboy.”

  “Hey beautiful.” Oh the things his voice does to me. I have to sit to keep from going weak at the knees and that won’t be hard thanks to the wine. “You sound happy.”

  “Wine does that to a girl you know.”

  “Really? I thought it was me. I bet you’re cute right now, lying across your bed, am I right?” He can’t really be out there; he has no idea where I live.

  “Well, you and wine make a girl happy. Wesley, are you outside my window?” I’m too exhausted to stand up and look but part of me imagines him standing there like 1980’s John Cusack.

  “I wish. Did you get to talk to Amber?”

  “I’ll be coming alone, she’s got a date that night, but I have to head back pretty early Sunday because it’s my birthday and my Mom and Dad are cooking dinner for me.”

  “You never told me your birthday was coming up.” He sounds a little hurt but I hurry to interject.

  “I honestly forgot until my Mom called me today.”

  “Well, I’ll have to make Saturday night special then.”

  My insides melt at his words. This is a trip I’m making alone. Just the car and I, time to think and time to dwell on things I don’t want to dwell on. No Amber to be my buffer. No Amber to give me advice. My head feels fuzzy as the alcohol reminds me it’s still there and it’s taking everything I have to not s
tart talking his ear off although I’m sure he wouldn’t mind at all.

  “How’d you know what firm I work for?” Curiosity is killing me, I have to know.

  “I have my ways,” he whispers in a low husky voice that sends chills down my spine.

  We talk for a few more minutes before we hang up and I lie there staring at the ceiling trying to mentally prepare myself for this weekend. May as well call me daredevil because that’s what I feel like. I’m all in, taking the plunge without a safety net to catch me. I plug my phone in making sure I actually set my alarm for the morning.

  Saturday without Amber there, I’ll have to sit through the rodeo alone which I just thought about. My stomach is in knots at the mere thought of being alone with Wesley. In the back of my mind, I’m telling myself to leave the granny panties at home and grab whatever silk or lace panties I have. I’d hate to have him put his smooth cowboy moves on me and I’m wearing flowered granny panties, although I don’t have any intentions of doing anything with him. I’ve never been with anyone besides Brad and I don’t plan on rushing this. There’s something about Wesley though that makes me different but in a good way. There’s a curiosity there that lights up my world and I want to feel that fire I see behind his eyes. I’m sure I will come undone from a single touch, but I don’t care. Having him could possibly be the best birthday present I could have.

  ********

  My nerves are shot into a million pieces. They’re lying on the floor and scattered from one end of the floor to the other. Maybe I shouldn’t be making this trip alone. Wesley called me last night confirming I’m coming and I reassured him that I was most definitely making the drive. I’ll just have to take a Dramamine capsule and breathe. Brad’s been silent and I thank the heavens he’s finally seems to get the point. Everything is packed that I need for my mini trip. My duffle bag is filled with over night clothes and almost every toiletry I can think of. Once I’m satisfied, I zip the bag and set it on the floor.

  “Have a safe trip Hope and most importantly, have fun. Oh and even though I’ll see you tomorrow, happy early birthday!”

  I pull Amber in for a hug trying to hide my huge smile. “I want to hear all about your date tomorrow. Just be you Amber, you’re going to have a good night I know it.”

  “Please be careful Hope, if anything happens. Don’t hesitate to call me and I’ll meet you wherever you are.”

  “I know Amb, I’ll be ok. I have to do this.” I pull her in for another quick hug. I cling to my best friend holding her tight. I’m so glad she believes in me. If she didn’t, I don’t think I could do it.

  I climb into my car and begin the drive to Austin with the directions keyed into my GPS. I flip through my satellite radio until settling on a station. I listen to the country station until I need a break and then flip it to the hits station. The ride there is slow, giving me nothing but time to think. Sometimes, I really hate to think.

  I hear something vibrate and I’m worried it could be something important. Typically I refrain from touching my phone while I’m driving but I grab it. I turn my head away from the road for a second and stare at the screen. It’s empty. I stare at the screen puzzled for a moment. I swear I heard it but nothing is there. I’m brought back to reality when the car beside me honks their horn. I was inches from hitting them and I draw in a deep breath trying to keep my tears away. What is wrong with me? I know not to mess with my phone while I’m driving but I was so, so stupid.

  I pull the car over on the side of the road and cry. My shoulders shake violently as I continue to release the tears that sit at bay all day every day. Why her? Why the one person I need here with me? My heart is hurting still, when will it ever get better? There’s a void that feels like it will never be filled no matter what I say or do. I cried myself to sleep in her bed for days after she died. I couldn’t bring myself to want to get out of her bed. I’d even put on one of her t-shirts to feel her there with me. I’ve barely talked to anyone about my grief. Amber has heard very little although she’s always encouraged me to talk about it like Mom has. I know she doesn’t mind listening but it hurts too damn much.

  I struggle to wipe the rest of the tears away as I attempt to pull myself back together. I don’t know what I was thinking deciding to make this trip alone. I could have easily told Wesley I couldn’t and then waited to see him.

  After twenty minutes on the side of the interstate, I’m composed enough to finish the drive to Austin. I turn the music up to drown out my thoughts and I don’t have another episode.

  Chapter 9

  Wesley texts asking me to meet him at the hotel so I can check in. I’m so ready to stretch my tired legs and even more anxious to see him. I’m ready to be out the car and away from all the memories it brings. It’s only been a week since I’ve seen Wesley, but it feels like so much longer. I’m begging myself not to say or do anything stupid around him as I pull myself from the car. I let out a huge smile once my feet hit the pavement. I stretch as I soak in the sunlight and immediately feel better. I jump about five feet in the air when Wesley sneaks up and wraps his arms around my waist.

  “Damn I missed you so much,” he whispers into my ear. Chills run down my body and I shudder at his touch. “How was your drive?”

  The memories from the moment earlier flash back. I have enough on my plate with Mom and Amber worrying about me so I give him the best smile I can muster and reply, “It was good.”

  I turn to face him making sure to rememorize his face. He has a little stubble from not shaving and I want to feel it but instead I blush when he smiles at me.

  “What am I going to do while you ride tonight?”

  He grabs my duffel bag that I could clearly carry myself and walks inside to the lobby. “That’s the good news; I don’t have to ride tonight. The bad news is I didn’t place well last night so that’s why I’m not riding tonight. Bandit is glad too, he’s tired.”

  “Oh, why’d you do badly?” I’m surprised and in a good way. “Will I still get to see Bandit?”

  He checks us into the room and we make our way down the hall to the elevator. As we enter the elevator, he turns to me clenching his chest. I almost double over laughing at him. “Is that the only reason you agreed to come? So you can see Bandit? I’m hurt Hope. And I don’t know, I guess I just wasn’t feeling it last night.”

  There are two queen size beds like the room Amber and I shared in Houston. He’s staying in here too? Score for me, as I packed pretty panties.

  “You look beautiful Hope. I’m glad you came.”

  I catch my breath before asking, “Why me Wesley?”

  His hand brushes against my cheek causing me to shudder where I stand. “I was drawn to you. I don’t know what it is.”

  Without another word, he brings his lips to mine softly kissing them sending my heart to cloud nine. My arms wrap around his neck as I pull myself closer moaning as he deepens the kiss. Part of me is saying “slow-down” but I push that voice back. His hand finds the small of my back bringing that ache between my legs to a peak. This is killing me, I want more. He pulls away smiling that wild smile I’m really starting to like.

  “Yeah, I could definitely kiss these lips all day. We’d never leave this room.”

  “What’s wrong with that?” I ask boldly.

  He smiles, picking me up suddenly and laying me on the bed covering my body with his.

  His mouth is inches from mine again and I notice he’s wearing another one of those snap button shirts. I reach up and run my hands under his shirt feeling a very chiseled chest. I think I’ve just gone to heaven. He moans leaning in to kiss me fiercely. Here I was worried about my heart healing because of Brad. Now I’m in the arms of a man I barely know, and I feel more and more like myself again. I’m glad she wasn’t too lost, I’ve missed this feeling.

  I’m snapped back to reality when ’Dark Horse’ by Katy Perry plays over my phone. Geez, Amber couldn’t wait until tomorrow? I sigh giving him a sorry smile as I explain it’s Ambe
r. I lean up reaching in my pocket to pull the phone out.

  “What’s going on Amber?”

  “Well don’t you sound flustered. Were you having sex missy?” I’m shocked by her accusation. I laugh to keep Wesley from wondering what she said.

  “No, so what’s going on?”

  “I haven’t heard from you yet so I wanted to check on you and make sure you got there safe. Oh, I’m getting ready to go on my date; I wanted to tell you Brad showed up again. He had a present for you. I told him go to hell and slammed the door in his face.” He’s not going to stop. A present? He shouldn’t even bother; I would have just thrown it back in his face. I don’t want anything from him.