I smile fighting back tears I don’t want. I regret walking up to him. Seeing this just tears my heart deeper. I want him to know how truly sorry I am and that I miss him but I can’t. Not this way. Not with her right there. I turn away and walk off as fast as I can get away. As soon as I make it to the bathroom I hide behind a stall and grab at my chest trying to get the aching in my heart to go away but it doesn’t. It’s broken, like everything else.
When I feel like I can walk again, I pull myself together and exit the bathroom. I look back to see if Wesley is still there with the girl but I don’t see either one of them which means they probably left together. She’s probably sitting in his truck in my spot. Just the thought of it makes me want to run back to the bathroom but instead I spot Amber and Nate at the bar and go meet them.
“I was looking for you Hope, where’d you go?” Nate hands Amber a beer and orders one for me. I smile thanking him.
“I went to the bathroom.” I answer honestly. I lean in a little closer to where only she could hear me. “Wesley was here Amb. I saw him.”
Her eyes bug out of her head. “What?! Did you talk to him?”
“He had some blonde hanging on him but she walked off for a minute and I walked up to him like an idiot.”
“What’d he say?”
“Nothing really. Seeing him did nothing but remind me I miss him and that I screwed everything up. What the hell am I supposed to do?” That was the first time I’ve told her or anyone that. Sympathy fills her eyes.
“Does he know Hope?”
“I couldn’t tell him. He looked so hurt to even be seeing me, and now they’re both gone.”
“Do you want to leave?” She asks carefully studying me for a minute like she’s just waiting for my exterior to crack.
I look at her and shake my head no. Seeing him put a damper on my night but I wouldn’t let it ruin it completely. I can’t believe I saw him. I take a sip of my beer and listen to her and Nate get to know one another. For the first time in a long time, my best friend Amber is wearing a genuine smile on her face. Even though I am alone, I don’t feel like the third wheel. Amber includes me in every part of their conversations. Nate is a joker, he has us both rolling with his corny jokes that should have been reserved for Laffy Taffy wrappers. When he asks for her number, she blushes profusely and acts hesitant. I swear I will kick her little butt with my heels if she doesn’t give it to him. I would even stoop so low as to slip it to him myself when she isn’t looking. She draws in a deep breath and lets it out slowly as he hands her his phone. Her hands shake as she types it in, even when she double checks it when she is done. Nate looks at me and I nod to let him know that really is her number. Memories of the first night with Wesley play back in my mind. I remember the butterflies, I remember everything. Hell, I had those same exact butterflies tonight just by seeing him.
My phone vibrates and Wesley’s name pops up with a text message. I’m scared as hell to open it but I have to see what it says.
Wesley: I didn’t leave with her Hope. I want you to know that. If you’re still here, I want to talk to you. Can you meet me outside?
I take a sip of my beer before making my decision. I read his text over and over again before thrusting the phone in Ambers face. I feel rude for possibly ruining a moment between her and Nate but this was an emergency.
“Go talk to him Hope. I’m right here I won’t leave.” I stare at her making sure I heard her right. I’m hallucinating, that’s the only possible explanation I have. I hope this will turn out to be good. I tuck a stray piece of hair behind my ear as I finally decide to answer her.
“You really think I should? I’m scared Amber.” And I am. I am scared shitless. She smiles at me reassuring me and squeezes my hand as I turned to walk out of the club.
I’m a bundle of nerves as I step out into the night air. It’s hard to not see him. He’s leaning against his truck. His back is to me and I almost don’t think he knows I am coming until he turns around to face me. My heart drops in my chest as I look into his eyes. We say nothing for a minute. We’re taking this time to rememorize each other, this time without the loud music and bright lights of the club. His hand reaches up and brushes against my cheek. I shudder trying to control myself. I missed his touch so much. I close my eyes praying this isn’t some dream but I open them and he’s here with his hand still on my cheek.
“I miss you Hope.” He whispers. I won’t cry. I’m telling myself that. I won’t be weak.
“I miss you too,” I whisper almost inaudibly. We go back to not speaking. I can’t believe I’m standing outside in front of him. In front of the man who completely melts my heart. “Can you forgive me?”
He leans in closing his mouth over mine and takes charge blowing my mind. I kiss him fiercely. “I can’t think of you being anyone else’s but mine Hope.” He says between kisses.
“I’m only yours,” I tell him before kissing him again. My body loses all of its control. My hands are on his chest clinging to his shirt for dear life. “Nothing happened Wes, I swear. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t apologize anymore. I want you back Hope, I can’t spend another minute without you.”
“You really want me back? But you said...”
“I was upset Hope. I want you, I’m sure of that. I’ve wanted you since I first saw you and I won’t stop until I have you, all of you.”
“How long are you in town?” I hate that I ask but with his lifestyle I have to.
“For the night, then I have to go back. I don’t want to leave you tonight. Come home with me, to my ranch. I’ll bring you home tomorrow.” His invitation takes my breath away but I can’t just leave Amber here, she doesn’t know Nate that well. Yes he’s made us both laugh tonight and he seems to be really sweet but he could be a total creep.
“Wesley, I came with Amber and she’s inside right now with a guy she just met.”
“She’s a big girl, she’ll be ok.” He whispers against my ear.
I don’t know about this. I don’t want to upset her. This was supposed to be a girl’s night but well she met Nate and Wesley is here. “Let me go talk to her.”
He follows me into the club holding onto my hand. Amber sees us and her face lights up. Nate is still beside her looking at her like she’s the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen. I wish she could see it.
“Let me guess, you’re leaving me for the cowboy here?” She beat me to the punch but she’s laughing about it so I don’t feel so bad.
“Only if you’re ok with it. This is our girl’s night after all.”
“You go Hope, I’ll be fine I swear.” I glare at Nate and he throws up his hands in surrender chuckling. If something happens to my best friend I’ll have no problem hunting him down.
“She’s in good hands Hope, I promise. I won’t let anything happen to her.” I smile at him silently laughing at how he read my mind.
“Bye Wesley,” Amber says smiling. “You two love birds have fun.” I could kill her in this moment but I am too happy.
I don’t know if this is a turning point or not but I’ll gladly take this moment. Maybe this time my heart can heal and stay whole.
Chapter 17
I feel like the girl in high school that finally gets to be with her biggest crush. This feels way better than the first time I ever was alone with him and I didn’t think that was possible. He holds onto my hand the whole twenty-five minute ride to his ranch like he was holding onto his lifeline. Little does he know that he is my lifeline. We pass a line of white picket fences before turning into a driveway that continues to be lined with more white picket fences. He parks right in front of the house and from what I can see of the outside in the dark, it is beautiful. Wesley opens the truck door for me and walks me up to the front door of the house. He unlocks the big wooden door and leads me inside. I don’t get to see anything else before he scoops me up into his arms and carries me into his bedroom.
He never turns the light on; he just lays me down on
the soft bed. I sink down comfortably as he hovers over me. “I can’t believe you’re here with me.” He murmurs as he leans in to kiss my forehead.
“Me either,” I admit. “But I’m glad.” I let out a sigh as I thank God for bringing me here tonight. Our eyes lock for what seems like forever and I can’t for the life of me tear mine away. I missed this face. We don’t need to rush anything. I want this moment to last forever.
His lips meet mine passionately, kissing me slow and sensually. I kiss back with everything I have in me. He grabs the hem of my shirt and gently pushes it up and over my head. My heart is beating out of control in my chest. My bra is off within seconds and his mouth is suddenly on me. His touch is everything I want and need. The ache is growing between my legs, I want him now but I let him keep doing what he’s doing because I’m sure as hell enjoying it. I arch my back moaning. He answers when my jeans are removed and his hand finds my spot. He slides his hands down a little further and it doesn’t take long before I melt into him. I fumble to get his shirt off so I can run my hands along his chiseled chest and I pull him closer as he continues to ravish me. When I’m almost seeing stars, I beg him to take me. I need to feel him inside me.
He kicks his jeans off as he kisses me; I’m panting trying to control myself before he slides into me. I gasp as we find our rhythm. He moves with such passion, it’s not long before I come undone again. I unravel beneath him letting him completely own me like he already does.
“There’s so much I want to say Hope,” he says as he collapses on top of me. He rolls to his side so he can face me. “But I don’t want to rush anything with you. I just got you back. I don’t think it’s the time.”
I wonder if we’re on the same page. I know he missed me but I didn’t think it could have truly affected him. It affected me although I can’t quite place why it did so much. All I know is, I’m ecstatic to have him back in my life when I wasn’t quite sure I would have this chance again.
He sighs kissing me on my forehead. I slide over resting my head on his chest. I listen as his heart beats in sync with my breathing. I’m beyond happy. I close my eyes and about that time, frantic thoughts fill my mind. He didn’t put a condom on. I don’t remember him reaching for one. I try to push the thought back since I am on the pill. This was just an accident after all. A decision made in the heat of the moment. “Wesley?”
“Yeah sweetheart?”
“I was lonely, there’s no excuse for my bad judgment. It was nothing but a kiss.” I swallow as I wait for him to respond. I feel like it needed to be said.
He closes his eyes tight. I’m sure he’s trying not to think of me with another man. I know for a fact there is no way I could ever imagine him with another woman. Just seeing him at the bar earlier with that blonde all over him hurt me enough. He opens his eyes finally. “It’s the past, it’s over. We’ve spent too much time apart because of that and it doesn’t matter anymore.”
“I just wanted to be honest with you.”
“And you have no idea how much that means to me. I missed you so much Hope.”
“I missed you too,” I smiled.
He grabs my hands holding them down on my side as he kisses me again. “You have no idea how bad everything sucked without you. I like having you right here with me, don’t ever forget that.”
“I won’t forget it,” I state as he strokes my hair. Instantly I’m relaxed in his arms. I never did forget it.
I’m fighting sleep like I did my birthday weekend. Once morning comes, I’ll have to go back home. Then we have to deal with when he’ll be close enough for me to see him again. But at least I know he’s mine again and it’ll take a hell of a lot more to break us. I listen to his heartbeat as his chest rises and falls with every breath he takes. It’s hypnotizing and within a few minutes I’m fully relaxed and looking at nothing but the back of my eyelids.
*******
This feels like a dream. I never went out with Amber; I stayed in and ate a bowl of ice cream before bed. I slept well and had the most vivid, amazing dream I’ve ever had. I dream that I ran into Wesley and he forgave me. I dream that he brought me back to his ranch and well you can guess the rest. I slowly open my eyelids and let out a gasp as I take in the gorgeous man lying right beside me wrapped up in the cream colored bed sheet. The black and cream comforter is pushed closer to the foot of the bed, I’m pretty much guessing we didn’t want to use it. His room is simple, his dresser sits beside his closet and the tan walls are bare except for a full length mirror. His eyes slowly open and he smiles when he sees I’m awake. This is better than any dream, this is real and dammit I can reach out and touch him, kiss him even if I want to. I think I will do both.
“Good morning,” I murmur leaning in to place a kiss on his lips.
“No fair, you beat me to it.” He pouted. “Good morning sweetheart.” He replies kissing me back.
He reaches for my hand, lacing our fingers together. He pulls my hand towards his and plants a kiss on my knuckles. “I just can’t get enough of you Hope. I don’t want to have to leave you again.”
“I know you don’t trust me Wesley and I swear to you, I will change that.”
“Don’t you say that Hope, I trust you. We knew this wasn’t going to be easy. People make mistakes, yes it hurt me but you didn’t sleep with him. I won’t hold it against you; as long as I have you, then I don’t care.” He pulls me to him, kissing the top of my head as I lay against his chest. “But you can’t let yourself get in that kind of position again. You have to tell me how you are feeling.”
My eyes find the alarm clock that sits on the cherry wood night stand and I groan. It’s almost 9:30 am. I didn’t want to sleep this late; I wanted all the time with him I could get. Awake.
“What do you want to do today?” He asks as he sits up in the bed. My eyes glance at his chest and I’m practically drooling. He notices and lets out a snicker. I must look like a fool, but I’m a fool for him. I could think of several things I’d like to do today and all of them involve not leaving this room.
“I want to see the ranch.” I say smiling big. Wesley stands up naked and my thoughts again are running where they shouldn’t be. I can’t help it, he’s amazing. I could stare at that sculpted ass all day long. He struts over to his dresser and pulls out a pair of briefs before sliding into a clean pair of Wranglers. He stays shirtless and I’m quite alright with that.
“You are something else Hope.” He laughs walking out the room. I quickly jump out of the bed throwing my clothes from last night back on minus the heels. The carpet on his bedroom floor is so soft and cushiony. My feet feel like they are walking on clouds as I go to find him.
I miss the carpet the minute I step into the hallway. The floors are a cherry hardwood and quite cool to the touch. Family photos line the hallway and I can see Wesley basically evolve from a toddler to the beautiful man he is today. I don’t feel so bad for having him see my metal mouth picture at Mom and Dad’s now. He looked like a bad little kid in half the photos. I wonder where his parents are, he’s never really mentioned them. I notice in one of the pictures that he has his Mom’s almond shaped eyes. I can see so much of him in her picture. I smile when I come up to a picture of him and Bandit. I love the two of them so much. I’m snapped back to reality when the smell of bacon hits me. My stomach responds by growling and I follow the smell to find Wesley.
He’s standing in front of the stove scrambling eggs and frying a few slices of bacon. He pours two glasses of orange juice and sets it at the pub-style table in his dining room before turning to see me.
“Nice photos Wesley, you were quite the looker as a kid.” I smile.
“Yeah, you saw those huh? All the ladies loved me.” I so badly want to laugh at him because I know he’s full of it but I just smile a little more at him.
“Where are your parents Wesley?” I ask out of pure curiosity.
“They live in Oklahoma. That’s where I’m originally from. When my grandfather got sick, I was the
only one willing to come and help him take care of things around here. I did it expecting anything from him. I loved him like he was my father. Neither one of my parents wanted to leave their perfect little life to help him when he would have done it in a heartbeat for them. I left all my friends and finished my senior year of high school here, it doesn’t seem like much but you know how it is when you’re that young. At that age, that is a huge sacrifice. But when he passed, they came for that. They wanted to get their share of the ranch and everything he owned but the real kicker was that he left everything to me. He didn’t think they deserved a dime because of how they acted. We talk every once in a while but it’s pretty strained. They were pissed when the will was read. Dad tried to get me to sell him part of the ranch but I wouldn’t and never will. My grandfather wouldn’t have wanted that.”
Anything I learn about him, I find fascinating. I grab his hand and squeeze it reassuringly. “I knew when I met you that you were an amazing guy but I had no idea just how amazing.”
Spurs & Stilettos Page 13