A Year in Girl Hell

by Meredith Costain

  Comedy act? He thinks it was a comedy act? Stacey’s face is pink again, only this time with delight. She turns to me, her eyes dancing. ‘Wow,’ she pants, out of breath after all the high kicks and running around the stage. ‘They really liked us! Sorry that I stuffed up a few times.’

  ‘No worries,’ I mutter, aware that Paige is glaring at me. I hope she doesn’t think I’d planned for this to happen. How was I to know everyone would think it was funny?

  ‘You did really well.’ What else am I supposed to say?

  Then Tai comes over. ‘That was classic,’ he tells me. ‘Really funny. It must have taken you ages to put all that together.’

  OMG. Paige is giving me greasies again. Maybe I should tell Tai the dance routine was all Paige’s idea? Then he’ll start talking to her about it, instead of me … But it’s too late. Tai’s already gone, helping to organise the last act.

  We troop off the stage and back to our seats. People stop us to congratulate us as we walk past. Well, they congratulate Stacey, anyway. I guess they see her as being the star of the show. Paige and Jayde are going to kill me.

  I sneak a look at Lexi and Mia as we pass their row. Mia meets my eye, her face cold. For a moment she looks like she wants to say something, then she changes her mind.

  Good. I don’t think I could cope with a lecture from her just now.

  I sit down next to Paige but she turns her back on me and starts whispering something to Jayde and Bella. Then the three of them stand up and walk out of the hall. No goodbye, or explanation of where they’re going. They don’t even look in my direction. I’m left sitting next to Stacey. Looks like I’ve just been trashed by my friends. And it really hurts.

  Stacey turns to me, her forehead crinkling in confusion. ‘Where’s Jayde going?’ she asks me. ‘Don’t they want to stick around to find out what happens next? You know, how we find out if we’ve got a part or not in the play? Cos Mr C said –’

  Doesn’t she ever shut up? And doesn’t she realise she was set up? How could anyone be that stupid?

  ‘How am I supposed to know!’ I snap at her, then slump back into my seat, feeling like the biggest loser moron in the history of moronity.

  Everything’s gone wrong, and it’s all stupid Stacey’s stupid fault.

  Alysha? U there?

  Yep

  What’s got into u lately?

  How do u mean?

  U know what I mean

  Nope. Tell me

  Everything. The things u do. The peepl u hang out with

  Paige & Jayde? They’re my friends

  I thought we were yr friends

  Leesh?

  Leesh??

  Wot!!!

  I sed I thought we were yr friends

  Did u want something Mia? Only I’m kind of busy right now

  Wot I wanted to talk to u about is Stacey

  Wot about Stacey?

  Wot u did to her today – setting her up like that

  She stuffed up. How is that my fault?

  Can’t you see what yr doing Leesh?

  Leesh?

  I reach out and close the chat window. I wish Mia would get off my back.

  Chapter 10

  wednesday afternoon

  ‘Alysha Aronsen. Did you even hear what I said?’

  Nathan Bodgley nudges me.

  I flinch away from him. ‘Whuh?’ I say.

  Nathan tilts his head towards the front of the room, where Smullo’s standing at the whiteboard, eyebrows raised accusingly.

  She clears her throat. ‘I asked what you had for question four.’

  Question four? I haven’t even started the group of problems we’re supposed to be working on. Too much else to stress about.

  ‘Um, I’m not up to that one yet,’ I blurt.

  Smullo sighs, gives me a little lecture about wasting her time, and moves on to someone else for the answer.

  I sink back into my fog of worry. Paige and Jayde have been blanking me since lunchtime. At the lockers. In science. And now again in maths. They even barred me from sitting with them. No way was I going to sit with Stacey – that would only make things worse. And there were no spare tables left. So I ended up with Nathan the Nerd, the guy noone ever wants to sit next to. At least he looks happy about it. Maybe he thinks some of my shininess will rub off on him.

  I’m not even totally sure why Paige is acting so mean. Is it because my plan to put Stacey down backfired? Or because she thinks I’m after her guy? Except he’s not her guy. Tai’s not even interested in Paige. He never talks to her. Or maybe he does really like her but he doesn’t know how to tell her, so he talks to me instead. I read this article once in Crave about guys that do that. They’re too shy to talk to their crush, so they talk to her best friend instead, hoping she’ll do all the hard work for them. Except I don’t really want that to be the reason Tai talks to me.

  I look across the room to Paige’s table, trying to catch her eye. If I can just get her to talk to me, we could sort all of this out. But she’s too busy whispering to Bella. Every now and then they look my way so it’s obviously about me. My guts twist. I feel like throwing up, and not because I’ve eaten too much. It’s all Stacey’s fault. I didn’t have any of these problems before she came along. If she’d just …

  I jump. Nathan’s nudging me again.

  ‘What?!’ I hiss.

  ‘Want to come over to my place after school?’ he whispers. ‘I’ll let you play on my Super Nintendo.’

  Now I really do feel like throwing up. Nathan Bodgley wants me to come to his house and play Super Nintendo? Is he serious? I shut him down quickly before anyone else hears our conversation.

  But I’m too late. Two tables away, Lexi’s snorting her face off. She must have heard every word. Bet she can’t wait for the bell to ring so she can race off to the lockers and tell Mia and Michi all about it.

  I have to do something to get myself out of Loserville. And fast.

  ‘Alysha! Wait up!’

  I spin round. It’s Stacey. The last person I want to see right now.

  ‘Oh. Hi,’ I say, increasing my pace. Maybe if I walk really fast I’ll lose her.

  Stacey falls into step beside me. ‘Is something wrong, Alysha?’ she asks me.

  I grit my teeth. ‘No. Why?’

  ‘Well, it’s just that ever since our dance routine, nobody wants to talk to me. Not you, not Paige … I mean, I know I stuffed up a few of the steps and everything. But people still liked us, didn’t they? Mr C did, anyway. I think he’s going to let us all be in the play.’

  I stop in the middle of the footpath and stare at her. Why does she have to be so nice about everything all the time? Can’t she take the hint and see I don’t want her around right now? That nobody wants her around?

  ‘Look, Stacey,’ I mutter. ‘I have to be somewhere, okay?’ I tap my watch. ‘And I’m late.’

  Stacey’s face falls. ‘Oh,’ she says. ‘I thought maybe you could come over to my place. Seeing how we live so close and everything. We could, you know, talk some more about the play. What parts we want to get and everything. It’d be fun.’

  About as much fun as having your fingernails extracted with pliers, I think. ‘Some other time, maybe, yeah?’ I say.

  And then I leave her there, standing all alone in the middle of the footpath.

  I let myself in our front door and slam my backpack down in the hall. I can hear singing coming from the other end of the house. Bec must be home.

  ‘Bec?’ I call. ‘Is that you?’

  ‘Yep!’ she calls back. ‘I’m down here.’

  I pad down the hallway. Bec’s in the bathroom, applying half the contents of the cabinet to her face.

  ‘Going somewhere?’ I ask. Must be somewhere really specia
l. Bec never wears much make-up. She doesn’t need to.

  She puts down the mascara wand and turns to me, her eyes bright.

  ‘Uh-huh. What do you think?’ she says, spinning around so I can admire her outfit.

  ‘Nice. Got a hot date with someone?’ I tease.

  ‘On a school night?’ she laughs. ‘Yeah, right.’

  She blots the corner of her eye with a tissue, then dusts blush across her cheekbones with a giant brush. ‘Dad’s lined up an interview for me at the station,’ she says. ‘You know, for that new show the network’s doing?’

  ‘New show?’

  ‘Didn’t he tell you about it?’

  ‘Nope.’

  Bec’s pouting her lips now so she can apply her lip gloss.

  ‘Ah. Well, I’m sure he meant to,’ she tells me. ‘You can come and watch me if you want.’

  ‘Thanks, but I think I’ll stay,’ I say.

  She continues talking. I don’t think she even heard me.

  ‘Andy Zann, one of the other producers, is putting together this show about youth issues. You know? Bullying. Exclusion. Eating disorders. All that kind of stuff. And Dad’s put me forward to be one of the hosts! He told Andy I was an “expert” on all that stuff. Isn’t that amazing?’

  ‘Amazing,’ I say. But then, everything about Bec is amazing.

  I bite my lip. ‘Bec …?’

  ‘Uh-huh?’

  How do I tell my perfect sister a whole bunch of ‘youth issues’ are going on right under her nose at this very moment? Like the fact that I spent ten minutes emptying my stomach a few nights ago, only metres from where’s she’s standing right now. Or how lately I’ve been counting every calorie that goes into my mouth, so other people will like me. Or that it’s all been a freaking stupid waste of time, because nobody likes me.

  ‘Oh, nothing,’ I say finally. Bec’s not really listening to me anyway. She’s too buzzed about her interview with the hotshot TV producer. ‘It’s not important.’

  ‘OK,’ Bec says, smacking her lips together and checking the result in the mirror. ‘By the way, did I tell you? Mum rang.’

  Let me guess. She’s not going to be home for dinner tonight.

  ‘Working late again?’

  ‘Yep.’

  ‘So it’s just you and me and Dad for dinner then?’

  ‘Um, actually, Dad said he’d shout me dinner in the studio canteen. After my interview with Andy. Which is going to be kind of cool, because lots of the cast from Bailey’s Beach will be there today, Dad reckons.’

  I raise an eyebrow, Jayde-style. ‘Lucky you.’

  ‘Are you sure you don’t want to come?’ she asks.

  Trail around after my big sister like a groupie? I don’t think so.

  I shake my head. ‘Totally.’

  ‘You’ll be fine though, won’t you, Leesh?’ Bec says, packing everything neatly back into the cabinet. ‘There’s plenty of frozen dinners in the freezer.’

  Yep, I know all about those frozen dinners.

  A horn blasts from the street. Bec peers out the window.

  ‘That’ll be my cab. Better fly.’

  ‘Bec?’ I try again. There are so many things I want to talk to her about. But it’s too late. She’s already halfway down the hall.

  ‘I’ll try and get you an autographed photo of Ryan D’Ario, okay?’ she calls back.

  And then the door slams shut behind her, and I’m all alone.

  Chapter 11

  wednesday five minutes later

  I huddle on the end of my bed, hugging Flossy. Above my head, Mathilde smiles down on me serenely, like a skinny Mona Lisa.

  It takes me about two seconds to jump off the bed and rip the poster down from my pin board. What’s the point of having her picture there? I’m never going to look like her. No-one’s ever going to ask me to host their stupid TV show about stupid ‘youth issues’. I probably won’t even get a part in Mr C’s stupid play. I’m too fat and too stupid and too ugly.

  I screw the poster up into a little ball and hurl it at the bin. Then I pick up Flossy again, and run my fingers through his silky mane, just like Stacey did yesterday afternoon when she came to learn the dance routine.

  Stacey. Why did she have to stick her big nose in? Everything was going really well for me until she came along. Now Paige and Jayde won’t even talk to me. Which means Tai probably won’t either. I’m doomed to live in Loserville with Nathan the Nerd Bodgley.

  And then I have an idea …

  I’ve just thought of a brilliant way to get Stacey back for ruining my life. I put Flossy back on the end of the bed. Then I run down the hall to Dad’s study to look for the phone book. There can’t be that many Zammits in Spring Hills.

  Stacey was right. Her house is only a couple of streets away. I throw my phone into my bag, lock up the house, and practically skip down the front step and out the gate.

  Six minutes later I’m standing on her doorstep, ringing the bell. A little kid with fingerpaint all over his face answers the door.

  ‘Mu-u-um!’ he screeches when he sees me.

  A woman who I figure has to be Stacey’s mum comes out, wiping her hands on a towel. ‘Can I help you?’ she asks me.

  ‘Hi,’ I say. ‘I’m Alysha, a friend of Stacey’s from school. Um, is Stacey home?’

  Her face breaks into a smile. ‘Sure,’ she says. ‘She’s in her room. I’ll call her for you.’

  But Stacey’s already heard us talking. She hurtles out into the hallway and practically drags me into her room.

  ‘So you decided to come after all,’ she gushes. ‘Sorry about my little brother. He’s actually really sweet, once you get to know him.’

  Like that’s ever going to happen. I flash her a fake smile, wishing she’d shut up and stop twittering on for once. I just want to get the job done and get out of here.

  Stacey pats the chair in front of her desk. ‘Sit here, okay?’ she says, then giggles. ‘It’s not like you could fit on the bed anyway.’

  She’s not joking. Practically every square centimetre of bed-space is taken up by stuffed animals. Lions, tigers, bears, frogs, hippos, elephants, monkeys. You name it, it’s there. They overflow from the bed to the bookcase beside it, just like she told me yesterday. There’s even a whole row of gorillas on top of her wardrobe. Beats me how she gets to sleep at night.

  ‘Few more than Flossy, hey,’ Stacey beams. ‘They’ve all got names, too.’ She holds up a purple rat with pink stripes. ‘This one’s Mr Stripey, and this one’s –’

  Is she for real? I have to make her stop somehow before the clock strikes midnight and I turn into a pumpkin.

  Er-hrmm. I make a fake coughing sound, pretending that I’ve got a dry throat. ‘Um, do you think I could get a drink or something, Stacey?’

  Stacey drops the spotty leopard she’s holding onto the bed. ‘Oh, sure, Alysha. Sorry. I’ll be back in a tick, okay? Would you like something to eat too? A biscuit maybe?’

  ‘Toast?’ I say hopefully.

  Stacey’s eyes widen. ‘Toast?’

  ‘Um, yeah. I love toast,’ I tell her.

  It’s true. I do love toast. But it will also mean she’ll be out of the room longer so I can do what I have to do.

  As soon as she’s gone I grab my phone from my bag and start snapping pics of her stuffed animals. Especially the ones all over her pillow. The pillow that has ‘Stacey’ embroidered in flowery pink and green stitching on the pillowcase. I can’t believe my luck. I’ve even got proof now they’re in her room.

  Five minutes later Stacey’s back with our snacks. I stare at the huge pile of buttered toast. ‘Wow, Stace,’ I tell her. ‘That looks great.’ I shift my weight from foot to foot, doing my best to look apologetic. ‘Thing is, I’m not going to be able to stay after all.’

  Stacey’s face falls. ‘You’re not?’

  I shake my head. ‘Mum just texted me. I have to go home right away.’

  ‘Is everything okay?’ Stacey whispers, her voice fu
ll of concern.

  ‘Yeah,’ I say, picking up the rat she showed me and giving it a squeeze. ‘Just some drama with the wedding. CeeCee’s really upset, and I’m the only one who can calm her down.’

  Stacey nods. ‘I understand,’ she says, crinkling her nose at me. ‘That’s what I like about you, Leesh. You’re always helping other people. I can show you the rest of my critters another time, hey?’

  ‘Sure,’ I say, placing the fluffy toy on the bed on my way out. I don’t know who’s the biggest rat here right now – me or Mr Stripey. ‘I’d like that.’

  I wait till I’m safely round the corner, then pull out my phone and scroll through the photos I took. I’m a genius. Every one is perfect.

  Then I scroll down my caller list till I find Paige’s name. I’m just about to hit the call button when I change my mind. After the way she blanked me at school today, it’s probably safer just to turn up.

  Paige’s house is down near the park. It’s big and expensive-looking, with a pair of stone lions out the front. I stand on her doorstep, wondering if I’m making a big mistake. Once I show the photos of Stacey’s room to Paige and Jayde, there’ll be no going back. And what if Paige sees me at the door and decides not to let in? I guess there’s only one way to find out. I take a deep breath, then reach up and push the doorbell.

  Paige doesn’t have any little brothers and her mum works at a boutique in the city. She opens the door herself.

  ‘Oh, it’s you,’ she sniffs. Then she flounces off down the hallway to her room. Am I supposed to follow her or not? She didn’t slam the door in my face, so I guess it must be okay to go in. I gently pull the door shut behind me, then creep down the hallway to her room, my shoes squeaking on the glossy wooden floors.

  ‘Well, come in if you’re coming in,’ Paige snaps when she sees me hesitating in the doorway. I scuttle into the room and perch on the edge of her bed.

  Jayde’s sitting at the computer, chatting online. ‘Come to apologise, have we?’ she drawls, without turning around. ‘You were supposed to make Stacey look stupid today, not all of us.’