by R. S Burnett
“Who?” Tucker asks sounding relieved.
“She said my dad would be ashamed of me, was she right?”
“Brooke, please don’t believe her or anyone else who says that to you. He would be so proud of you; it’s unreal. You’re the most beautiful, bravest, strongest, funniest, smartest, most loyal person I know. How could anyone be ashamed of you?”
“I just want it to end,” I whisper, knowing he can hear me “The nightmares, the fights, the rumors, the crying, the memories, the lies; I want it all to end.”
“Where were you going tonight Brooke?” he asks, moving closer to me.
“I don’t know. I want to go home but…I don’t have one.”
“This is entirely my fault. I’m sorry Brooke; will you let me explain myself to you, please?”
“It’s not your fault. I don’t care why you did whatever you did, none of it matters anymore.”
“That’s not true. At least let me talk to you about it, because to me it does matter.”
“Okay.”
“When Sophie told me you were going back to Andrews’s room, I felt sick. I know I shouldn’t have believed her but, I did and then what I did with Mel…you must have hated me for it. When I found out nothing happened between you and him…that Sophie lied to me. I don’t know what happened; I felt so horrible and I went out, got drunk and I ended up with Beth. We got talking and she was asking about you. I know I shouldn’t have told her anything about you at all, but I hurt you. promised you and myself that I would never do that again after the last time. But I did and I felt worthless for it. Then she kissed me and I felt like, that was all I deserved, to be wanted by someone like her. I could never deserve someone like you Brooke, your worth so much more than me. That’s why I did it.”
I nod into the darkness taking in everything he just told me.
“Are you going to hit me now?” I hear him ask from beside me.
“No, why would I hit you?” I turn towards where his voice is coming from.
“The same reason you hit Beth.”
“I didn’t hit her because of that; I hit her because she said my dad was lucky he’s dead. I didn’t get upset over what you did, how can I? Everyone I have ever known has hurt me at some point. Why should I expect you to be any different? It’s not fair for me to rank you higher than everyone else.”
“I do have one thing that’s worrying me”
“What?”
“When you went out tonight. You wouldn’t talk to anyone, you had no shoes on, you were only half dressed and you said you wanted it to end. Please be honest with me now; was it your life you wanted to put an end to?”
I can feel his whole body tense up as he waits for my answer. My heart breaks a little with the knowledge that the people closest to me are worried that I could do that to myself at anytime.
“No, you have to understand that even though I’m not afraid of dying, we all have to go at some point. If it happens sooner rather than later for me, that’s okay. I’m not even that bothered how it happens, but I will never, ever try to end my life myself and I would never let my step dad do it for me either. That’s the reason I can keep going; it’s the only reason I carry on every day. I just don’t want him to control that part of me. My dad’s life got cut short; no one can force me to do the same with my own. That reason alone is enough for me, so you have nothing to worry about.”
“Brooke. I want to be with you like I have never been with anyone else before but…I’m worried”
“What are you worried about?”
I hear him take a deep breath and brace myself for the worst. “I’m worried that I don’t deserve you and I’m worried that I can’t be enough for you.”
“The fact that you’re worried about it tells me that you do and you can,” I whisper to him.
“I need you to tell me what I can do to be good enough for you,” he whispers, sitting so close that we’re touching now.
I reach around in the dark until I find his hand and hold it in both of my own. “You can cheat on me, you can hit me, you can use me, you can steal from me and you can let me down and never be there for me. But please, whatever you do, don’t ever lie to me. That’s the only thing that you can do to hurt me.”
“I would never do any of those things to you anyway, Brooke. I can promise you that.”
“You know, I think you telling her actually helped me in a way,” I admit.
“How?” he’s clearly incredulous, by the tone of his voice.
“I don’t know. I guess, her pointing out my weakness, gave me strength. I stood up for myself and at least now that she knows, she can’t use that against me.”
“Still, it was a terrible thing for me to do and I really am sorry; more so than you’ll ever know. Can we start fresh?”
“Sure,” I shrug, smiling slightly.
“Great. Hi, I’m Tucker Lloyd. I’m a bit of an asshole sometimes; I say things I don’t always mean. I’ve done some really shitty things in the past that I’m not proud of. I sing in a band and I love to flirt with good looking girls but, most importantly, I want you.”
“Well, hey there, Tucker Lloyd,” I’m amused now and it’s obvious. “I’m Brooke Daniels; I’m sarcastic, stubborn and can’t help but say what’s on my mind. I’m a virgin, I have a tattoo above my ass and I have my clit pierced; both of which, I got done when I was completed wasted. My step dad abuses me and has done so since my thirteen birthday. My dad died the day after my eleventh birthday and as far as I can remember, my mom’s always hated me. I can be difficult and bitchy. I have nightmares, every night, except when I spend the night with you. I like to flirt with good looking guys; but important most of all, I want you too.”
“You know, you’re amazing, right?”
“Of course,” I smile as he pulls me down on the sofa next to him. We don’t have much room, but wrapped up in each other, we make it work and before I know it, I’m finally drifting off into a peaceful sleep once again.
***
“What the hell, Brooke?”
I look up from behind Tuckers shoulder and blink a few times until Sophie comes into focus, “What?”
“What’s going on?”
“I’m sleeping, or at least, I was.” I flop back down.
“Why is he here?” she asks glaring at Tucker.
“I’m sleeping too,” he grumbles, without moving.
“OUT!” Sophie screams at him.
“What?”
“I said, GET OUT! I won’t let you hurt her again Tucker, you had your chance!”
“Whoa!” I sit up “It’s okay Soph, we’re cool; we sorted it out last night.”
“Brooke,” she shakes her head at me. “Haven’t you learnt yet?”
“It’s fine Soph.”
“Whatever. We’ll see. I give him a week,” she grumbles unhappy and storms out of the room.
“Well, that went well,” I note sarcastically.
“She’ll come around. As soon as she realizes I’m serious. I won’t give her a reason to doubt me again”
“Why are we sleeping on the sofa?” I ask, changing the subject.
“I don’t know; I think we were both too tired to move to the bed”
“And to undress,” I note.
“Well, we could always start now.”
Before I have a chance to reply, I’m trapped under him.
“G’Morning,” he grins at me and leans down to kiss me.
“Do you have any classes this morning?” I ask when he pulls away.
“Not until after lunch, you?”
“Same. Wanna stay and not do anything all morning?” I grin at him. I really could use all the rest I can get.
“As long as I can do it with you.”
Fourteen
I sit on top of Tucker to straddle him but he still manages to trap me instead, by pinning my hands above my head.
“Aww come on, I’m starving,” I giggle as he playfully nips my collarbone.
“It’s
three in the morning,” he says, tilting his head so he can kiss my neck.
“Mmm…but I’m hungry,” I protest feebly and tilt my head to give him better access.
“Me too,” he agrees, but nibbles on my ear making me squeal.
I struggle to get out of his grip but end up toppling us out of bed.
“What are you two doing?” Ethan asks amused, sitting up in his bed.
“I’m going out for food,” I announce standing up and taking advantage of Tucker’s winded position on the floor from where I landed on his stomach.
“Fine,” Tucker grumbles getting up and slipping some jeans on.
“If you drive, I’ll make it up to you on the way.” I wink at him and he doubles his efforts at getting dressed.
“See ya,” he calls out to Ethan, grabbing his keys and me, then a jacket.
“I’m not even dressed,” I protest, laughing.
“That’s what the jacket is for,” he rolls his eyes and slings the jacket over my shoulders zipping it up before we get any further into the corridor.
“Keep your eyes on the road” I shout for the third time “Are you sure you can handle this?” I tease lowering my head into his lap to continue running my tongue along the length of him; his only answer is a loud groan.
“Oh…shit…Brooke I’m gonna…” I feel the car jerk forward as his foot slams on the accelerator.
“Mmm hmm,” I nod at him but keep him in my mouth and swallow as he fills my mouth. I keep sucking him until I’m sure there’s nothing left. Then clamp my hand around the bottom of him and squeeze, pushing my hand up to lick the last drop away, dipping the tip of my tongue in the little slit.
“You know if you’re going to swear at me when I do that, I might stop doing it,” I tell him trying to keep my expression blank.
“That’s not even funny Brooke, don’t joke about that stuff,” he says, looking too serious.
“Ooh look, we’re nearly there!” I sigh and fall back into my chair, waving my hand at the lit up all night pancake house.
“How do you even know about this place?”
“Sophie and I used to go out in the middle of the night all the time. I also know some all night bars, coffee houses and one stop shops.” I frown at the incredulity in his tone.
“Why?”
I just shrug as he pulls up in front of my haven and jump out not wanting to wait for him.
“Hi,” I grin at the waitress.
“What can I get you Brooke?” she smiles back – I know it’s probably bad when the waitresses know you by name, but at this moment I don’t care to dwell on it.
“I’ll have two coffee’s and two house specials please.” I hand her the money and settle into a table by the window. I slip my shoes off because I have no socks on with them, thanks to our hasty exit and it’s starting to get uncomfortable. Tucker comes through the door looking around at everyone happily eating their meals as if he has stepped into the twilight zone.
“Oh no, you sit over there.” I point to the seat opposite when he starts to slide in next to me.
“Why?” he asks but does it anyway.
“Because you are way too distracting when you sit next to me and I want to remember my food. That’s what got us here in the first place; I forgot to each my lunch remember and we skipped dinner.”
“Oh yeah,” he grins at me. “What are you having?” he asks me picking up a menu.
“I’ve already sorted it; you took a long time getting out of the car” I smirk at him.
“Well some of us don’t just jump out of moving vehicles and I had to um, rearrange my clothes,” he smirks back at me but it quickly falls off his face when a plate overflowing with food is put in front of him.
“No Sophie tonight?” the waitress asks, eyeing Tucker who’s looking at his plate as if it’s going to bite him.
“No, although she’s definitely more fun,” I grumble and pick my knife and fork up to cut into my stack of pancakes.
“What is this?” Tucker asks prodding his food.
“It’s only six pancakes, bacon and syrup,” I roll my eyes at him.
“You know for someone who eats so much, those clothes you used to wear should fit you snugly,” he grumbles.
“Yeah well, luckily no matter what I eat, whatever I don’t burn off in the gym just goes on my boobs and ass. Are you complaining?” I ask, raising an eyebrow at him.
“Hell no, I’m just saying, some of us can’t eat like this. I’m going to be huge by the time you’re finished with me,” he grins back.
“That’s my plan,” I tell him around a mouthful of pancakes not able to hold back any longer.
“What to make me fat?”
“No,” I shake my head. “To make you so fat that the next time you try to stop me going out for food in the middle of the night, I can escape after I’ve knocked us both off the bed onto the floor, because you won’t be able to get back up by yourself.”
“You haven’t thought it through, what if I landed on you? I’d squash you,” he asks, rolling his eyes when I moan.
“That’s easy, only you will fall off the bed.”
“How?”
“I’ll distract you just as we’re about to fall so you’ll let me go.”
“And how are you going to do that?”
“Easy,” I look around to make sure no one can see me. I have my back to everyone else, so I unzip the front of my jacket that, thanks to Tucker, I only have a bra on underneath it.
“Okay, I see your point but just leave it like that for me please,” he asks, picking his fork up and finally eating his food but not taking his eyes off my chest.
“Whatever gets you to eat, bud,” I shrug and laugh as he moans when my breasts jump with the movement.
I finish my food and watch Tucker, noticing that he is wolfing his food down. “If this is all it takes to get you to eat like this, maybe we should start going to hooters,” I note.
“Umm…does the rest of the service come with it?” he asks grinning at me.
“What?” I frown at him.
“You don’t even know you’re doing it, do you?” he asks chuckling now and points under the table. I’ve been mindlessly running my foot under his jeans up and down his leg.
“Sorry,” I pull my foot away guiltily.
“Come on, let’s pay and get out of here,” he says, draining his cup.
I slip my shoes back on, “I’ve already paid.”
“Brooke,” he groans.
“You can pay next time,” I answer, smiling.
“There’s going to be a next time?” he grumbles.
“Definitely lots of next times,” I answer cheerily.
* * *
“Brooke, why do you look so happy but Tucker looks sick?” Sophie asks, taking in our position at the table.
I’m happily scooping up some lasagne and waving it in front of Tucker, laughing as he recoils away from it, but still keeping one arm around me.
“Poor Tucker can handle his drink, but he can’t handle his food.” I poke my tongue out at him, but don’t manage to move away fast enough when he catches it between his teeth.
“She dragged me out at three this morning for pancakes,” he tells her, laughing at me for checking my tongue to see if it’s bleeding.
“What? Why didn’t you come and get me?” Sophie demands.
“I was very hungry. Sorry.” I shrug and laugh because Tucker’s sending her a look that he is seriously questioning her sanity.
“Tucker, I want her back! I don’t have any fun anymore,” she pouts at Matt. “Make him give me my friend back,” she demands, pointing at Tucker as if she wants Matt to put a hit out on him or something.
“Baby, we have fun,” Matt says, offended.
“No, we don’t. Brooke, you’re staying with me tonight.”
“Can’t, sorry Soph, we had next to no sleep last night. Early night for us tonight.” Tucker winks at me pulling me closer and kissing my forehead.
“
Sorry.” I grin at Sophie, not sorry at all.
* * *
I wake up to find Tucker hovering over me.
“Morning,” I frown at him.
A sleepy smile stretches across his face, “G’Morning, beautiful.”
As with every other morning when I wake up with Tucker, we start the day with a mind blowing kiss. When he moved from my neck, down towards my chest, I stiffen slightly.
“Trust me?” he asks looking up into my eyes.
I nod my agreement and settle into the bed, relaxing once again.
He trails kisses over my collarbone, across my chest and down my stomach, pulling my panties down, along the way.
At first he just lightly trails his fingers in a whisper of a touch, over my thighs and across my hip bones. When he leans down closer, I open instinctively my legs wider.
The first wave of hot breath across my most sensitive area makes me shiver; but when his tongue reaches out for a taste, I gasp and fight against the urge to close my legs.
“Are you okay?” he asks, not looking at me.
“Yeah,” I whisper.
“Good,” he smiles and then his mouth is on me again.
His tongue swirls and twists, playing with the piecing and teasing my folds. He dips his tongue inside me, but then slowly slides a finger into me, crooking it and putting pressure in all the right places.
It doesn’t take long for the pressure to start building and when my breathing picks up and I start to shift on the mattress, he puts his hand on the bottom of my stomach and presses down slightly. The orgasm takes over me quickly and my body convulses with the ripples of pleasure as I call out his name.
“Hey,” Tucker calls, playing with my hair.
I open my eyes and smile shyly at him.
“Are you okay?”
I grin at him.
“That good, huh?” he chuckles.
I nudge his shoulder with my own. “There’s no denying your ego, Mr Lloyd.”
“With a beautiful girl like you beside me, my ego has no worries, Miss Daniels.”
I roll my eyes at him, “Coffee?”
“Yes please.” He drops down on to his back.