by R. S Burnett
“Uh…no. I meant as in ‘can you get me a coffee,’” I correct.
“Oh, no! I can’t move.”
“Lazy ass,” I smirk at him. “I’m not your slave, you know.”
“I ask her to get a coffee and she thinks she’s a slave,” he says to the ceiling.
“You know, no one can hear you, right? And if they could, they wouldn’t care.”
“Maybe, we should both go?” he suggests, always the sensible one.
“We could,” I agree, but smirk at him “But wouldn’t you rather go out knowing that I’m waiting in bed for you?”
“As tempting as that is, we both have to get up. We have exams to study for.”
“You suck.” I pout at him.
“No…that’s what you do.” He winks at me.
I lift my arm to smack him but he jumps out of bed, dodging the hit.
I sigh as I watch him walk to the bathroom, naked. Have I mentioned that he has a perfect ass?
Chapter Fifteen
When I get out of the shower, Tucker’s sat on my bed.
“Hey, you’re early.” I throw my hair towel on the sofa and take my place next to him on the bed.
“I’m not, you just can’t tell the time,” he teases. “What do you want to do?”
“Uhm, watch a DVD?” I call over my shoulder and head back into the bathroom to change into my robe.
“Brooke, what’s this?” Tucker calls out; he sounds nervous.
I freeze when I hear moaning. “Shit, not that DVD player!” I call running back into the room and standing front of the TV.
“What is it…wait…is this yours?” he asks watching me closely and walking towards me.
“Umm…no?” I say and I feel myself turning red and unintentionally noticing that he’s stripped down to his boxers.
“It is yours, isn’t it?” he’s grinning, now enjoying my discomfort.
“Can we not talk about this?” I beg.
“Can we watch it?” he counters.
“How about you borrow it and watch it in your own room?” I ask, glaring at him.
The sounds from the movie distract him and I take advantage of it to grab to DVD out of the player.
“Brooke…I was watching that” he pouts at me.
“Tough,” I grin at him and hold the DVD above my head out of reach.
“You do realise you’re shorter than me,” he notes dryly.
“Shit,” I mutter to myself, but cry out when he flings me over his shoulder and drops me on to the bed, landing on top of me. “Can you not throw me around like a rag doll please?” I ask, but it falls on deaf ears.
“What is it about lesbians that turns you on exactly?” Tucker asks, quietly untying my robe.
“I like watching their mouths; lesbian porn has more mouth action than regular porn,” I tell him, completely distracted by his fingers trailing softly all over my body.
“Hmmm,” he mumbles running his tongue along the inside of my wrist; I moan and he sends me a knowing look.
“You cannot be serious,” he says to himself and then does it again, chucking at my moan. “This could get interesting,” he smirks at me and then settles himself on the bed getting comfortable. I watch and squirm as he runs his lips and tongue over every inch of my body.
When his lips finally close on my swollen clit, it becomes too much to watch. I’m withering on the bed, moaning and twisting the blankets in my hands; his tongue dips inside me and then circles my clit softly.
“More, I need more,” I manage to get out between moans.
“I know baby, it’s coming,” he says holding my legs still and sucking a bit harder.
“No, I mean I need more.” I can hear the demand in my voice and he does to because he stops and looks up at me.
“Now?” he asks checking my expression.
I nod up at him, “Now,” I whisper.
“Brooke,” he runs his hands through his hair and then looks back at me; his eyes travelling up my body until they stop at my eyes. “I don’t have…”
“Top drawer.” I cut him off pointing to my chest of drawers next to the bed. I’m secretly pleased that he doesn’t carry around condoms as if he expects it to happen.
“You’re sure?” he checks.
“Positive,” I answer, watching him slide the condom on and settle above me.
The kiss takes me by surprise; not because I wasn’t expecting it, but because it has a whole new sensuality to it than any other kiss I have ever had. I shiver as he runs his hand lightly down my body, just skimming the skin and settling between my legs to cup me. We both groan as one of his fingers slides easily into me.
“God, you’re so ready,” he whispers, pulling away from the kiss. I turn my head to the side and close my eyes when he positions his head at my entrance, but he freezes. “Brooke, look at me. I need to know you want this.”
I lift my chin and look him directly in the eyes trying to convey all the trust that I have in him; it must work because he slowly slides into me. Just when I’m thinking this isn’t so bad, he thrusts all the way in. I bite my lip to stop from crying out, but he distracts me with a deep kiss. When he pulls away, I’m overtaken by the sensation of him moving inside me. I watch amazed at the expression on his face. Blue eyes blazing, half closed, eyebrows slightly pulled in, his mouth half open forming an ‘o’ and when he runs his tongue across his lower lip, something inside me tightens and he groans throwing his head on the pillow next to my face.
Now that I’ve adapted to his rhythm, I wrap my legs around his back and bring my hips up to meet him thrust for thrust. I can feel my orgasm moving inside me and the feeling intensifies as Tucker shifts slightly. His lips close around my neck and he sucks softly. I instinctively tense around him and start to shake as the orgasm builds higher. He pulls his head up but I push his mouth back onto my neck; obeying my silent request, he sucks my neck again. I moan and tense, but when he nibbles softly then runs his tongue along the patch of skin just below my ear, I can’t hold back any longer. He follows a few seconds later and I feel his whole body stiffen as he finds his own release.
“Fuck…” Tucker groans, collapsing on the bed next to me.
“Was that a good fuck or a bad fuck?” I ask but then wince when I realise what I’ve just said; he just snorts. “You know what I mean.” I nudge him with my elbow.
“How are you feeling?” he asks, leaning up onto one elbow and looking at me intently.
“Truthfully? Like I’m glad I waited,” I tell him honestly and watch as the most breathtaking smile breaks out on his face.
“Me too.”
We spend the rest of the afternoon in bed until Tucker gets called away to help Matt with something. A few hours later my phone rings. When I see Phin’s name light up the screen I grab my jacket and head out, calling Tucker on my way.
***
The first thing I notice when I walk into the café is the silence. The second thing is that all eyes are on me once again.
Tucker stands and walks to the centre of the room clapping as I make my way to him; I look around confused by the atmosphere.
“Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in,” he says loud enough for everyone to hear when I’m a few steps in front of him.
“What’s going on Tuck?” I ask, giggling nervously.
“You tell me.”
“Umm…”
“Why don’t you start with where you stayed last night?” he snaps at me, making me flinch.
“A hotel,” I whisper, still confused by the anger in his eyes.
“A hotel?” he shouts and laughs once. I shift uncomfortably and from the corner of my eye, I can see that slowly all the students have gathered around us and now we’re stood in the middle of a crowd. It’s deathly silent as everyone watches us.
“Who with?” he demands.
I open my mouth to reply but my phone beeps and cuts me off. I look down at the phone in my hand, but Tucker leans forward and snatches it out of my hand.<
br />
“Let’s have a look, shall we?” he says mindlessly as he looks at the screen. “Phin” he calls out to everyone.
“Tucker …” Sophie says softly from behind us.
“Not now Soph,” he snaps back at her. “Did you stay with Phin last night?” he demands snarling his name at me. I’m only able to nod even though he’s not looking at me, he’s reading the text. “Thanks for last night; I’m sorry about what I said this morning, please come back. You mean too much too me. I don’t want to lose you,” he reads aloud making everyone gasp. “Did you sleep with him?” he shouts at me.
I don’t know why I don’t even try to defend myself, I open my mouth but no words come out. “Actually, don’t even bother to answer that. I’m not even all that surprised. I should have known from the beginning. Play the abused quiet girl and go around unnoticed; then all of a sudden, you start hanging around with me, making me care for you and then what? What is this? Some sort of twisted lesson you are attempting to teach me? Getting me back for all the girls that I slept with and never bothered with again? Is that it?” he shouts at me making me take a step back until I bump into someone who just pushes me forward again.
“No,” I whisper, shaking my head at him wiping away an escaped tear.
“Or was I just a practice run? That must be it. Try me out so that you know what you’re doing when you go back to your boyfriend, who you mean so much to that he doesn’t want to lose you?” he all but screams this at me.
“Enough!” I scream, finally finding my voice and fed up with everything. “You don’t know what you’re talking about! Do you even know who Phin is? He’s my nine year old step brother. He phoned me last night when his dad hit him. You know, the same man who abused me for eight years? The same man who tried killing me until you stopped him. Well, he was pretty shaken up and scared. So I picked him up and took him to a hotel knowing that if I brought him back here, they would have come here looking for him. I tried calling you but it went straight to answer phone. So I left a message on Matt’s phone telling him where I was and to give you our room number if you went looking for me. That message you just read out to half the school no less, was because this morning we argued over whether or not he should go back there. I walked out of the room on him. What I can’t understand is why, after everything, you don’t trust me?”
“Do you want to know why I did it?” he asks smiling at me, but with no hint of the amusement or kindness that I am used to from him. “Because I had never been with a virgin before; you were just something to cross off a list.”
His words act as a physical blow and I stumble back a step. I can feel the blood draining from my face as a pain starts in my chest. “Want to know why I did it?” I ask staring him straight in the eye.
“Because you’re a whore?” he asks holding his hands out around him. His words, words that I have heard so many times from my step dad turn that fire in my chest into a full blown explosion.
“No,” I shake my head at him. “Because I fucking loved you!” I whisper to him, turning to push my way through the crowd as the tears fall from my eyes and I struggle to breathe through the pain, I’m sure is my heart breaking.
Once I’ve cleared the crowd, I come face to face with a smirking Beth. I stop in front of her and pay no attention to the students that have turned towards us to watch my escape.
When I look at her I meet her eyes head on. “Oh, and throwing my past in my face to piss me off?” I ask and her smirk gets a bit smug.
I nod once at her. “It worked,” and then with strength behind me I didn’t even know I had, I punch her in the face making her stumble back and land on the floor, cupping her now bleeding nose. “Don’t ever slap me again.” I call over my shoulder and walk out the doors.
I almost fall when my jacket is grabbed from behind mid step. I whip around and look up into Sophie’s apologetic eyes.
“Wait Brooke,” she says trying to catch her breath.
“Don’t Soph, I’m done. It’s over.” I shake my head at her and run to my room for the last time, hoping I never see Tucker ever again.
When I get to my room, I’m clearly not thinking straight because I start packing all my things together. I only have one day left before graduation, so I know I can’t leave right now.
I dial Luke; he’ll know what to do.
“Brooke?” he sounds worried.
“Yeah, Luke, I need your help.”
“Of course. Where are you?”
“In my room, can you bring your car?”
“Don’t leave your room. I’ll be five minutes.”
He hangs up the phone. While I wait, I continue sorting all my things out; boxing up clothes and my laptop, leaving all my toiletries and kitchen things.
“Brooke!” My door swings open and Luke is in front of me, wrapping his arms around me, pulling me into a hug before I can blink.
“God, I heard what happened; I’m sorry, I wasn’t there.”
“Its fine Luke, I just need to get out of here.”
“You can’t leave yet. Do you want to stay in my room?”
I pull out of his embrace “I don’t want to stay on campus. Everyone saw…I’ve had enough rumours to last me a life time.”
“Of course,” he runs his hands through his hair, frustrated. “What about Kate’s? I can ask if you can room with her for a few days.”
“YES!” I shout; I forgot about Kate’s apartment. “Sorry, I didn’t think of that. Would you ask her for me please?”
“Sure, let’s start putting all this in the cars,” he gestures at all the boxes. “You’ll be out of here before you know it.”
***
I manage to finish my last days at uni, without seeing or hearing from Tucker. I have gone out of my way to avoid him, but if he wanted to bump into me, I have no doubt that he would have.
Kate agreed to let me move in with her; we haven’t told anyone, only Sophie, who visits as often as she can but only after we’ve made her swear not to tell Matt where I am.
Everyone on campus is talking about what happened between Tucker and me that lunchtime in the cafe. Some think that I really did cheat on him; others think that we never stood a chance from the beginning. A lot of people blame Beth, for all the interfering she did in our relationship; this is what surprised me most. I didn’t know that anyone would believe me and take my side; but apparently, the majority have.
According to Sophie, Tucker hasn’t mentioned what happened to anyone and has thrown himself into practicing with his band. He even stopped going to parties and hanging out with Matt. That’s all she has mentioned though, and I only know this because I overheard her talking to Luke. No one talks about him around me.
I try to keep up a brave façade, but the people closest to me know that’s all it is. The nights are the hardest, the sleepless nights.
With Tucker no longer around, the nightmares have returned. If I thought I hated Tucker before though; it’s nothing compared to how I feel about him at night. I don’t have the normal nightmares, the ones about my step-dad hitting me. No, now I have dreams; only to me they’re nightmares. At night, I dream of my dad; of all the happy memories, the tender moments between us and all the times we laughed. They all end the same way though, with him walking away, never to return.
My decision to leave, came to me late one night when I was up talking to Kate. Some nights when we were alone, we would stay up as late as possible with the hope that if I were tired enough, exhaustion would take over and I’d sleep peacefully. We started talking about how happy I am and when the last time I was truly happy. Then we were talking about the trip we took down to see my dad’s best friend.
Knowing that if I stayed here, I would spend all my time avoiding both Tucker and my step dad. We agreed that the move up there would be for the best: a fresh start and a way for me to be closer to my dad.
After phoning Andrew and asking his opinion, he agreed to help me move and sorted out a place for me live.
; All I have left to do now is to make sure Phin will be okay without me. I know I shouldn’t go back there, not even for one last time; but I won’t be able to rest easy, unless I know that he’s going to be safe. If that means seeing my step dad for one last time then so be it.
After all, what’s the worst he can do?
**Brooke’s journey continues in Book two of the Finding My Way series is coming soon.
Check my Blog/Facebook page for teasers.**
Acknowledgements
I have to say a great big thank you to Dave for putting up with me as I slaved away for days, evening and even full nights while writing this book. I did not always make it to bed and had the most bizarre sleeping pattern ever, but I think it was worth it.
Also to my mum for constantly saying she’s proud of me – even though she hasn’t read the book – Thank you for loving books so much, I get it from you.
My most heartfelt thanks goes to Kim – You read the book in the very rough stages, but didn’t let it bother you and sent me emails that made me laugh, cry and groan with the thought of all the changes I was going to have to make but I loved every single one of them!
I’m cringing as I write my thanks to Jen, proofreading this book must have been a complete nightmare but you did it and now it’s free from all my horrendous grammar mistakes and actually reads well, all thanks to you... I owe you!
Buuuutttt ... the biggest ever thank you I send to you, the reader. Thanks to you for taking the time to read this book and in doing so, joining me on this wonderful journey of writing.
About Me
I don’t really know what to say here .... I’m in my mid twenties – I can pass for about 17 though, so I do tend to tell the little white lie about my age now and again, although most of the time I forget how old I am – but I’d love to go back to 21 and stay there.
I’m British. I’m full of random quirks that make up my completely bizarre personality, I might be a touch crazy, but I accept it. I embrace it.