Mesopotamia - The Redeemer

by Yehuda Israely

  “I suppose I was thinking of the color of light on Earth.”

  “Can you describe it to me?”

  “A yellowish white. At dawn, it starts as a fine line of mist. Over the course of several hours, the light grows stronger, until it fills the entire sky with pure white.” As he was speaking the light in the room grew brighter, almost blinding them. Sophia rocked and leaned against Smoke for a moment. A dark spot of brown spread like a puddle under their feet to resemble the ground. The brown color turned lighter as it reached the horizon and connected with the sky.

  “I am a guest in your world. Thank you!” she smiled.

  Smoke considered her words and realized he did not mean to invite her, but if she thought so, why not? He would continue to assure her that they were indeed working together. “You are welcome!”

  “Is your sky always like that?”

  “Before the wars of the Gods, the sky was a light blue because the rays of the sun were refracted in the atmosphere. The wars altered the atmosphere and then the blue disappeared.”

  She was silent so that he would go on.

  He continued. “Truth says that the white of the sky is a revelation of the Master of Light.” The screen responded before the words were even out of his mouth and the color instantly turned to blue and then back to a bright white.

  Suddenly they heard the sound of rolling laughter. Smoke smiled. Sophia was surprised. Suddenly he no longer seemed like a cruel warrior but a friendly young man. 'Don't let his smile fool you,' said Thales' voice; 'If you have managed to see that he's a person just like you, then you have taken a step forward,' said Enosh's voice.

  A small dark dot began to emerge on the horizon. The dot grew, swaying from side to side. In the background were ruins of a reddish hue. Only when the dot approached them did she begin to recognize it for what it was. It was a hyena, playful and happy, hopping in place. A smile illuminated Smoke's face. For a moment it seemed as though he had forgotten that he was in the simulator of Samos and considered the hyena to be real.

  'Are hyenas the sacred animals of the Gnostics?' she wondered.

  Smoke was quick to explain. “This is Spot.”

  “Spot?”

  “My friend from the desert.”

  'A pet? Belonging to a Gnostic?' The revelation encouraged her.

  Spot continued to prance about and slowly receded into the horizon. The desert and the sky returned to their bright emptiness. She waited patiently. It appeared in the meantime that Smoke's apprehensiveness about the simulator had begun to diminish.

  Small, dark diamonds twinkled on a mustard-colored stripe on the horizon. They initially moved in a random order, and then slowly their movements were regulated as a wave, separating the earth from the heavens.

  “What is this? What are you thinking?” she asked.

  “I don't know what this is. Are you sure it's coming from me?” he asked, retreating once more so that she could not gain control of his mind. The simulator picked up on the contents below the threshold of his consciousness before he could even register them in his mind. At once the colors and shapes combined, creating a holographic image.

  “Master of Light!” the words left Smoke's mouth.

  Fear struck him with a crushing blow. On the virtual ground before them, a giant snake appeared. Its head was resting on its coils and its mustard-colored skin was flecked with brown and red diamonds. The snake lay motionless, gathered in its coils. With her free hand Sophia touched the transparent screen of the simulator control panel, switching off the blinking light indicating real object recognition. Smoke did not notice. He mumbled in confusion, “I am Cosmos, I am Cosmos, Iamco... Iamco... Iamcosmosiamcosmosiamcosmos...” His heart was racing, his breathing became shallow and fast, a cold sweat drenched his body and tightness crushed his chest. The holographic space faded in spurts until it turned to complete darkness.

  Sophia had not expected such a quick response. She knew what distress the simulator could cause for those that used it, and had therefore been careful not to let Enosh use it before he had regained his identity, nevertheless, she had assumed that the impact it would have on the tough Gnostics would be far more limited. Again, she came to the conclusion that Gnostics were far more personable than Pythagorean propaganda had let on. She felt sorry for him. For a long time, Sophia did not move, as if she had finally managed to put a crying baby to sleep. She adjusted her heart rate in time with his excited breathing. Gradually, their breathing slowed and stabilized. 'Enough for now,' Sophia thought as she touched the control panel to turn off the simulator.

  When he returned to his senses, Smoke said sheepishly, “That was the Master of Light.” He was ashamed for exposing his weakness and losing his detached demeanor. Gnostic training had prepared him for all physical and cognitive challenges posed by his enemies. Once he had determined his goal, he knew exactly how to achieve it. This time, however, was different. He felt like he had lost all control. Suddenly, all he had concealed in his mind had been revealed.

  “The snake?”

  “Yes, that is one of the ways he manifests himself,” he spoke before he even considered his words.

  “That's what the Gnostics taught you?”

  “No, that I learned in the desert, before I met Truth.”

  'I mustn't push any further,' Sophia said to herself. 'I mustn't overwhelm him with questions. Patience, he wants to tell more. Just as Enosh said, give him the chance to realize the need to express himself. First comes desire, then awareness and then expression.'

  But he remained silent. 'Perhaps he is waiting for an opening?' she wondered.

  “In the desert?” Sophia whispered.

  Smoke released his grip when he realized that he had been leaning on her. She had sat in her chair and avoided staring directly at him, but she had perceived his confusion and the hint of shame that he had not managed to hide. 'Give him space,' she reminded herself.

  Smoke sat down and did not answer. It seemed to Sophia as though he were receding into himself, like the snake in the simulator.

  “What do you want?” she gently asked him, aware of the calculated risk.

  “I must make contact with my commander again,” Smoke said and rose to his feet.

  “Smoke to Truth.”

  “Truth here. Any additional information?”

  Smoke was afraid of Truth's question. Did he suspect that Smoke had had a vision of the Master of Light? Then he came to a more painful realization. Truth did not know what was happening to him. He was completely alone. Smoke found it hard to speak.

  Truth asked him again, “Smoke do you hear me? Did something happen?”

  Smoke began to speak very quickly. “Smoke to Truth, requesting departure from Samos. I believe I succeeded in obtaining all necessary information for our reconnaissance mission.” For a moment he left all military formality aside and added, “This station is having a bad effect on me. The Pythagorean female took me to their simulator and showed me the Master of Light.”

  “The Master of Light?” Truth was surprised.

  “The simulator presents a holographic depiction of what is happening in your mind. I was thinking of the Master of Light and he appeared before my eyes.” He had no idea how to tell his commander that he was afraid.

  Truth understood. His voice hardened. “Smoke, you must withstand these Pythagorean tricks. Continue on your mission! It is up to us to reveal all the Pythagoreans' capabilities and intentions. You must continue cooperating with them and not arouse any suspicions. They cannot suspect you and become defensive. Remember your purpose and your position. I am not releasing you from your mission.”

  Smoke bit his lip. The insult hurled at him by his own commander was justified. He feared that his self-control was deteriorating and that he was teetering on the edge. With great effort, he forced his lips to move.

  “Yes commander. I will continue on the mission.”

  “Affirmative. Proceed and inform me on your progress.” Truth was quiet an
d Smoke feared that their communication had terminated and he was all alone again, but then he heard his voice again. “Only inform me about your progress. Do you understand?”

  “Smoke to Truth. Affirmative.” The tone of his voice had returned to its usual Gnostic firmness. His shoulders sagged and he sunk into his chair beside the communication device. He had thought that a conversation with Truth would encourage him. Instead, however, he felt inadequate and liable to disappoint him even further. 'How did I let this manipulative woman influence me? I am a Gnostic, I am impenetrable, I need to focus on my mission and my purpose in life. I must continue on mission,” he scolded himself.

  High above him in the ship, Truth sat back, troubled. He was not happy about being so harsh with Smoke. Perhaps Smoke's association with the Pythagoreans was weakening him. He still had faith in his protégé and he hoped that his harsh words would yield some good.

  Smoke turned away from the communication device, angry and tense. He felt trapped. He could not disappoint Truth, and yet his experience with the simulator evoked unbearable emotions.

  He knew that the calm surrounding him might take him off his guard, but the frustration he felt was unbearable. He roamed the station and inadvertently started to relax as he passed through the arched pastel-colored walls, listening to the heavenly music. He reached the metallic, liquid orb—the processor—and stood there, mesmerized by what he saw.

  'The sooner I hurry to obtain information for Truth, the sooner it will be the time for our invasion and then I will dwell in the pure pleroma of the aeons,' thought Smoke as he made his way toward Sophia and the simulator.

  When he reached the door of the simulator, he found Sophia sitting in the chair, watching the swirling colorful spheres. The melody of the spheres had ceased to bother him and he began to actually enjoy it. The spirals turned, crossed over each other and then combined harmoniously, in sync with the music pervading the room. Smoke entered the room, and before a single word left his lips, the spirals collapsed into one another, creating a perfect circle encompassing the room.

  Sophia turned around and saw him standing in the doorway. She gestured with her hand for him to join her. He stayed standing, rooted to his spot. Something stopped him, despite his devotion to Truth. His inhibition reminded him of how he had stood on the brink of a great abyss in his childhood.

  The simulator responded immediately. The room darkened and the circle became a line that lay right at his feet. The line transformed into the edge of the Gnostic compound building from which he had almost jumped when he was ten years old. He was standing right at the edge and was able to look down. One of his group members who was passing below recognized him and yelled for Truth. Smoke continued to stand on the roof the simulator had created for him.

  “Where is Truth?” asked the distressed Smoke. Was this the distress of the boy on the roof in Uruk, or that of the Gnostic warrior in the simulator? Contrary to what he remembered, the image of Truth did not come this time. The soft voice of Sophia calling his name sounded so far away. He withdrew from the edge and turned away from the simulated image. Sophia turned off the simulation. Smoke stepped towards the chair in front of her and sat down. 'What is happening to me?' he wondered. 'This woman uses witchcraft to confuse me. But what does she want?' Surprisingly, the music was pleasant to his ears.

  Both of them stayed silent for a long time. She knew that he would prevail in the battle of silence but was afraid that anything she would say would only push him further away.

  She was reminded of a conversation with Enosh during her training.

  “You say that the obstacle to one discovering oneself is fear of disappointment. Is there anything else that can hinder a person's self-awareness?”

  “Yes, when you become the tool in someone else's hand on their quest for satisfaction.”

  “Why?”

  “So as to not have free will. One of the strategies that allow a person to shirk away from his responsibilities on his quest for satisfaction is for him to relate to someone else and place the responsibility on his shoulders.”

  “Like the Master of Light or the leader of the Gnostics?”

  “Exactly. The hierarchical order allows a person to become the satisfier of another's desire instead of having a desire of one's own.”

  Sophia was shocked when she thought of her Pythagorean devotion as an alternative to having free will. “So then all experience of devotion means giving up one's free will?”

  “No,” Enosh calmed her down. “There is dedication to desire and there is dedication to non-desire. There is the dedication of one's will by way of dedicating oneself to another person, which will extract for us what we want to extract from ourselves. We appoint this person, so that he will elicit from us and be strict with us regarding what is important to us. On the other hand, by sacrificing our will we bring ourselves closer to someone else's goals.”

  “Wouldn't it just be simpler to have no will; to despair and be disappointed? Why surrender our will to someone else?”

  “In the despair of disappointment there is something final. There is complete relinquishment of one's will. In depositing our will with another person, we keep the option of withdrawing it back. One redeems one's will, so to speak. The other person's will want for us until we are able to want for ourselves. He carries the burden of our desires. A person can strive physically or mentally, but so long as he is in the service of another, he will not suffer the effort of carrying his own desires. There is no risk of disappointment. The pleasure of bearing no responsibilities becomes a goal within itself, a hidden desire. We strive and we sweat, but essentially, our wills are at rest.”

  “Give an example.”

  “Not many centuries ago, the Shamans of primitive cultures would read the liver of a slaughtered animal to reveal their destiny. In reality, the healers were reading their own intuitions, desires and beliefs in response to the question of how to act in a particular situation. Decades ago, astrologers believed that they could read one's destiny in the stars, or one's preferable course of action. These signs on the animal liver or in the stars can act as expressions of one's personal belief; the man is not surrendering his will, only giving it an external form. But, in many circumstances, people would choose their spouses based on astrological signs. If a man says to a woman, 'it says in the stars that we are destined for one another,' this is an evasive gesture, since he does not have to bear the burden of his desire for her.”

  “Why does that man prefer the stars?” she asked, thinking about the similarities in Pythagorean tradition.

  “So that he may avoid the risk that comes with desire, that he may face rejection. First, he decodes his predetermined spouse through the stars, afterward the relationship develops, then he can rely on the fact that she wants him, and only then can he desire her without running any risk.”

  “How does that coincide with the belief of the Gnostics?”

  “The Gnostic also places his will in the hands of the aeons and the Master of Light in order to avoid personal desires which can end in disappointment. He hopes that eventually, when his desires become more attainable, he can retrieve his will that he handed over to someone else.”

  “So how does a person take back his will?”

  Enosh replied slowly, weighing each word. “It is slightly dangerous. The Gnostic's original will is directed within a relationship that was taken away from him. In the absence of the relationship, the person only has a desire to die. This desire to nullify oneself is entrusted in the hands of the Gnostic Gods and the leaders. The Gnostic turns his personal desire into the desire of the collective whole, thereby providing him with a personal connection, precisely what he wanted and was lacking. When the Gnostic tries to retrieve his personal will, he is again overcome with the desire to die.”

  “In other words, he wants to commit suicide?” Sophia asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Then we'll have an authentic suicidal on our hands? If that's the case, he won't b
e with us long,” Sophia smiled in the assumption that he had the solution to this problem.

  Enosh was surprised by her cynicism and noted with satisfaction how much she had changed since first he had met her. “You are right. That is precisely why we must replace the one in possession of his will. You must enter the mental realm of the Gnostic as a significant entity, one who could bear his will for him. The purpose is to give him back ownership of his will, his self-awareness.”

  “If so, the Gnostic, who assigns his will to his Gods and leaders, is actually surrendering his identity. It is no coincidence that he gives up on himself. After all, he was an abandoned orphan. Everyone has given up on him. If I alter his perception of himself not as one who has relinquished his will to another, but rather as one who has a connection with the other person, then I have helped him recover his identity. It reminds me of Thales.”

  “How so?”

  “Thales loved traveling with me through the galaxy via the simulator. Now I realize that he was excited about the journey because of my excitement. My desire to go on these journeys gave him a reason to travel with me. It would appear that he's changed since then. He disagreed with me when he had no faith in you, and after that he disagreed with me when he did have faith in you. All of this occurred when he released himself from the Pythagorean belief.”

  “And if you wanted to restore this desire to journey within him, how would you do it?” Enosh asked.

  “I would say to him that what I want from him is not to see landscapes and nature, but rather to see the excitement those things gave him. This is how I would want for him what he wants from himself.”

  “Yes,” Enosh said. “You would trap him in a paradox.”

  “Let me try.”

  “Go ahead.”

  “I would steer his tendencies to satisfy another person's desire toward his own will. I would create a structure of a relationship in which he would need to desire in order to satisfy.”