Zombie Reign: A Fake Zombie Story

by Tim Miller

  “Shit. I thought it sounded weird. This is all new to me.”

  “Yeah, this is some bullshit. You didn’t give ‘em no money did you?”

  “Hell no. I don’t have three grand anyway.”

  “Good. Do you got an agent?” Juan asked.

  “No not yet. I just answered a casting call for this.”

  “Yeah, you need to get an agent. I can send you some info for a few good ones I know.”

  “Thanks man. I appreciate that. Something has been weird about this for a while. It just keeps getting more and more bizarre.”

  “Yeah. I’d get away from those assholes if I were you.”

  “Thanks for the info. Talk to you later,” Jerry said as he hung up. He went into the other room and flipped his laptop open. Once it came on, he did a Google search for Clarence Ringo. This was something he should have done a long time ago. First thing he found was his IMDB page. At least the guy had one. Problem was his only credit was “Zombie Reign.” It said “In pre-production” for the last two years.

  From there, he looked up Clarence’s Facebook page. He’d been friends on there with the guy, but never really looked at his profile. As he scrolled back he began noticing a pattern. Clarence would do several casting calls, have lots of stupid meetings, do events and string cast along, do a few shoots here and there, string along some more, cast gets frustrated and quits, and do more casting calls.

  Going back six years, he found that exact pattern at least three different times. All had happened in Los Angeles, Las Vegas, and now San Antonio. So this was something he’d been at for a while. He went back to Google and pulled up a background check website and signed up for the free trial. He put in Clarence’s name and found that back in 1994 he’d changed his name. His birth name was Reyes, but he’d changed it to Ringo. Looking further back, he saw why.

  Clarence had a few arrests in the nineties. Mostly petty crimes and one assault charge, but no convictions. He probably changed his name due to the reputation he was making for himself. Slippery ass motherfucker. Jerry took screenshots of everything he found, and printed it all out. He’d looked up a few other things too on filmmaking, budgets and the process as a whole. The more he dug, the more depressed he became.

  Jerry didn’t want to admit it, and in the face of all this, he felt incredibly stupid. But it was becoming clear there was no movie. There never was any movie; no investors and chances are no actual script since no one had seen it. This was a long running scam Clarence had been at for a while. Jerry figured if he could locate some of the old cast to see if they were also required to pay three thousand in “SAG dues” to Clarence only to have him skip town.

  Now the big question was what to do with all this shit. He’d worked a job year ago where the owner’s son was stealing from the business. A few employees had been fired after the guy blamed them for the thefts. Jerry was an assistant manager at the time, so he stashed a Go Pro camera near the safe overnight and sure enough, there was the owner’s son helping himself to the deposits.

  Feeling proud of himself, Jerry took the camera to the owner and showed him the footage. The owner immediately began screaming at him, accused him of doctoring the footage and fired him in the spot. So much for video evidence. Regardless, he learned an important lesson that day. The messenger always gets shot.

  Chapter 22

  Twenty months after auditions

  Clarence was fuming. He sat on the couch reading his tablet as his cast was beginning a small mutiny right in front of him. That Jerry shithead was posting all sorts of lies about him on Facebook; screenshots of his criminal past, his name change, and other terrible things. Once Jerry started posting, a few other cast jumped on the bandwagon. They started posting shit saying Clarence had groped them, or owed them money. Now, they weren’t technically lies as they were all true. But they were still mean and hurtful. Besides, that was all in the past. He was Clarence Fucking Ringo; no one talked about him this way.

  What angered him was how many of the cast were jumping on board with this clown. At least a dozen have left already. Just goes to show how little loyalty exists in the film industry. He’d treated these people like family. Let them into his home, brought them on board with his production. What do they do to repay him? They lash out with lies and hateful comments. It was time to call an emergency meeting. He wrote out an email and sent it to the rest of the cast and crew to meet up the following night. It was time to lay down the law.

  When the next night arrived, many of the cast filed in and gathered round Clarence and Lisa. He’d practiced this in his head over and over, but it was time to put on the performance of his life. Once everyone was settled he stood on a chair and began to speak.

  “Thank you everyone for coming here tonight. I truly appreciate your loyalty. You are the dedicated professionals in this production. Every single one of you knows the meaning of family and sacrifice! Jerry and his little pals, they know nothing of this. All they know is their own greed and selfishness. So we had to void the contracts. Well, this is the film industry! Things happen! There are delays; there are obstacles; and there are challenges. So do we act weak and quit? Or do we stick together and push through and grow as a family?” he said.

  “We push through!” someone called out as the rest of the cast cheered.

  “That’s right! We push through. Come hell or high water, this film will get made!”

  There was more cheering as Clarence continued.

  “Now, as far as Jerry and his pals go. They have attacked me, and they have attacked our Zombie Reign family. He is doing whatever he can in order to bring this production down. Because of this, I have to go to L.A. next week to meet with the investors who are looking to pull out. They want to pull out because of his lies. I will not let this happen. I will protect my family at all costs! Right now, as we speak, I have an entire team of attorneys going over the plan of attack. We are going to sue him so many ways from sideways he won’t have a penny to throw in a wishing well. Only problem is, that could get expensive. Unless...” he paused while looking at the floor. He did this intentionally to build suspense. Everyone was holding their breaths, waiting for his next words. He couldn’t ask for anything better than this.

  “Unless, our family is willing to look after its own, then that is the sign of a true family and true dedication. So my question to you all is this. Who will step up and eliminate the threat to our Zombie Reign family? Are you all going to let some bitter liar destroy your future?”

  One older man up front raised his hand.

  “Hi Clarence, just curious. What about the stuff Jerry said? Like your assault charge. Or why did you change your name? He also made some good points on the project itself and how no one has seen a script. What are your thoughts on those things?”

  Lisa stepped forward and practically got in the guy’s face. For a second, Clarence thought she might strangle the guy.

  “Excuse me?” she screamed. “And who do you think you are to question your superior in such a way?”

  “I just thought he’d have some explanation...,” the man began.

  “He doesn’t owe you any explanation for anything! If you are in this production, what Clarence says is the law! It is not up for discussion or debate. On top of that, how dare you question his integrity! He has been working long and hard to make all of our dreams come true! And this is how you repay him?”

  “Lisa, I’m sorry. I...” he stuttered.

  “I’ll tell you this right now. You are fired! Get out of here now! You are no longer a part of this production!”

  “Fired? Why? I just asked a few questions. You won’t answer anything.”

  “Since you are no longer a part of this production, I don’t owe you any answers. Now get out! Now!” she screamed.

  The man looked around and walked out slowly. Lisa scanned the rest of the group.

  “Anyone else have any questions?” She paused but no one replied. “That’s what I thought. Clarence is our lead
er! You are to follow him without question! Anyone has a problem with that, leave now!” After another minute she looked up at Clarence and nodded. He was so proud of that girl. When this whole thing started, she was afraid of her own shadow. Now she’s barking out orders and firing people on the spot. Some of the cast looked scared, others looked angry.

  “Thank you Lisa! That’s another traitor out the door. We currently have a traitor trying to destroy our family. Are you guys going to let them do that?” He paused, but they were quiet. “Well, are you?”

  “No!” they called out.

  “What?”

  “No!”

  “Zombie!” he yelled.

  “Reign!”

  “Zombie!”

  “Reign!”

  “Zombie”

  “Reign!”

  He stood there smiling. There was no question. He had them.

  Chapter 23

  Chloe stood in the back listening to Clarence and Lisa scream at the cast. She had no idea why everyone was getting so fired up. All the yelling was making her head hurt. Honestly, she had no idea why she was still a part of this side show. Well, that was the reason. It had become a side show and she wanted to watch it all unravel. Clarence’s lies were beginning to show and finally people were calling him out on it.

  She’d given up on the idea of getting paid for this mess at least a month ago. After numerous production delays and all the free shoots and work she’d put in, it had become clear. Jerry emailed her the other day showing her all the evidence he’d found. Everything he said and showed her was spot on. Clarence as usual would just dodge questions and make threats. So far he’d threatened to sue just about anyone who so much as questioned the film’s financing or his past. She wasn’t sure where this team of attorneys came from, as he was broke as hell.

  Now if she was hearing them correctly, he was inciting the cast to go after Jerry. She wondered if she should warn him. No telling what these crazies might do. She didn’t want to sound completely crazy. Jerry was a good guy. He’d always been nice when they talked, which wasn’t all that often. She’d sat down with a few of the cast earlier to tell them her concerns. They told her she was just over thinking things and to just have faith. Faith in what? The guy isn’t God. As this production had dragged on, more and more of the cast had treated him like a cult leader more than a director.

  For his birthday a few months ago everyone arranged some big surprise party for him. She hadn’t been involved, but saw all the emails about it. People were freaking the fuck out over every little detail. There was even a huge argument over what color the streamers should be. It was crazy. Chloe had never had a surprise birthday party, let alone a bunch of people fighting over it.

  She had been slowly trying to distance herself, yet stick around long enough to see what would happen. There had been a couple of other younger actresses cast as “leads” that apparently had love scenes with him as well. Chloe had begun to wonder just how many lead actresses this film had. From the sound of it, all girls were potential lead actresses for this. And all were his romantic interests. The hardest part for her to believe was how did Lisa put up with all this? Watching her boyfriend fawning all over these other girls right in front of her nose?

  Someone came up behind her, startling her. It was Brody, the assistant director. She’d seen less of him at recent meetings as well. The last time she saw him, he almost looked sick.

  “Hey,” he said. “You doing ok?” he asked.

  “Um. Yeah. I guess so.”

  “This shit is getting crazy isn’t it?”

  She wasn’t sure where his loyalties still lie. Last thing she wanted to do was say something to him and have it get back to Clarence or Lisa. Then again, this was all bullshit anyway.

  “Yeah, it’s weird as hell. What is happening?”

  “Clarence is insane. That’s what is happening.”

  “I know he’s a little off...” she began.

  “No. There is no off about it. He’s fucking nuts. Trust me. He’s crazy and dangerous.”

  At first she thought he might be kidding, but he looked terrified. He’d seen something, or knew something. Whatever it was it creeped her out.

  “Dangerous? How?”

  “I can’t tell you. Just trust me. This whole thing is getting out of hand. It’s been out of hand for a while now. Clarence is just starting to lose control. I’m scared of what he might do,” Brody said.

  “Did you hear what he said about Jerry? Saying people should take care of him or some shit?”

  “Yeah. I heard that. Do you have his number?”

  “I think so.”

  “Good. Get out of here and call him. Tell him to go somewhere safe until I say its ok.”

  “Jesus Brody. You’re scaring the shit out of me.”

  “Good. You need to be scared. Clarence is fucking psycho and Lisa isn’t far behind.”

  “Looks like he’s dragging the cast with him,” Chloe said.

  “He’s not dragging them. They are going more than willingly.”

  “It’s like he has them in some weird trance or something.”

  “Hey, wave big money and someone’s dreams in front of them long enough and about anyone would go for it. I mean, we sure did long enough.”

  “True I guess. So I’ll give Jerry a call. I hope he’s ok. You really think they’d hurt him?”

  “Honestly, I think someone could yes. I don’t put anything past Clarence at this point.”

  “You really need to tell me what happened, Brody.”

  “Maybe another time. Give him a call and then get out of here.”

  He turned and walked away as she walked outside and to her car. Once in her car, she pulled her phone out and scrolled through her contacts until she found Jerry’s number. Just as she was about to hit “send” there was a knock on her window causing her to jump and drop her phone. It was Clarence. Holy shit. She rolled the window down part way.

  “Hey there,” he said. “Who you callin’?”

  “Oh, just my mom to let her know I’m on the way home.”

  “Oh ok. Is that why you snuck out without saying goodbye?”

  His eyes were wild, almost crazy looking.

  “Um, I wasn’t trying to sneak out. I just didn’t want to disrupt the meeting.”

  “Is that it? Ok then. Well better not leave your mom waiting,” he said as he stepped away. She rolled up the window, started the car and pulled out. As she drove off, in her rearview mirror, she saw Clarence watching her.

  Chapter 24

  Jerry sat in his apartment watching Netflix. He wasn’t even sure what movie he was watching, other than it had zombies in it and was horrible. The special effects looked cheap. The blood was all CGI and looked like something from a cartoon. The acting was even worse. Though despite those criticisms, Jerry couldn’t be too hard on the film. After all, it was a real film that had actually been made, which was more than he could say for Zombie Reign.

  He’d been browsing on Facebook for a while, but had to take a break. Since his post calling out Clarence and his bullshit, his page had been a madhouse. Some people were agreeing with him. Others were sticking by Clarence and his fake production. Lisa had contacted him and yelled at him for attacking and bullying Clarence. He couldn’t help think that was funny. He hadn’t heard from Chloe. He suspected she’d be ready to pull the plug herself, but she seemed to be keeping quiet. Last few meetings, she looked extremely uncomfortable.

  His phone began to go off. Problem was he couldn’t find the phone. He paused the TV and jumped off the couch, fishing around before he found it under one of the cushions. He didn’t recognize the number, but it was local.

  “Hello?” he said as he answered.

  “Jerry?” a girl said on the other end.

  “Yeah Who’s this?”

  “It’s Chloe.”

  “Oh! Hey! How’s it going?”

  “It’s ok. I called because I felt I should give you a heads up.”
/>   “About what?”

  “Well your Facebook post about Clarence. It’s got everyone really riled up,” she said.

  “I know. It’s pretty awesome I think.”

  “I like it too. I really do agree with you. You totally nailed it. I’ve stayed quiet so I can see how things play out. Honestly, it’s getting a little scary.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “At tonight’s meeting, he got everyone fired up screaming the usual crap about legal action against you and his lawyers and shit. But then it got weird. He started saying how you have attacked their family and a real family wouldn’t allow it. He said the cast needs to protect their family. Jerry, I think they might try to hurt you.”

  “Are you serious? That’s a little crazy isn’t it?”

  “This whole thing is crazy. People are acting totally out of their heads. Liz left the cast a couple months ago. She said most of the cast won’t even talk to her now and she hasn’t even said anything. They all blocked her on Facebook and Clarence tells the cast not to talk to our enemies. He is totally insane.”

  “Well, his dumb ass doesn’t scare me. He’s all talk.”

  “It’s not him I’m worried about. It’s his crazy followers. Just be careful Jerry. Ok? If you see anything weird call the cops.”

  “I will. I doubt they’ll do anything, but I’ll keep an eye out.”

  “Ok. Take care Jerry,” she said as she hung up.

  Jerry looked around the apartment thinking about Chloe’s warning. It was extremely bizarre, but so was everything else about this mess. He put the movie back on and watched the remaining twenty minutes when there was a knock at the door. The knock startled him, causing him to jump. It was a loud, pounding more than a knock. He turned off the TV and walked to the door. Looking through the peephole there was no one there. What the fuck? Maybe Chloe was right. That or some of the cast were just trying to fuck with him. The pounding began again. This time he looked through the hole and there was still no one there. They were probably standing off to the side, just out of view.