The Valentine Verse: A Contemporary Christian Romance

by JoAnn Durgin

  “Oh, right. When I was a drunk insomniac.” As if. After carefully checking her rearview and side mirrors, Vara concentrated on changing lanes. “I tried to block it from my mind. King Carl or something?”

  “That’s the one,” Sofia said. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”

  “I’m headed to Cherish. And it’s snowing again.” She turned on the wipers. Thank the Lord they worked. “I’m currently pondering the wisdom of this trip.”

  “Why on a Saturday? You’re working weekends now?”

  “I’m wondering the same thing, and no, I don’t work weekends. I’m off-the-clock.”

  Sofia yawned again. “What’s his name?”

  “What? Who?” Vara kept one eye on The Speeder. He’d swerved into her lane and then slowed way down, forcing her to brake. “Unpredictable, erratic guy,” she mumbled. Brie teased her about driving like an old lady, but with speed demons like this, she couldn’t be too careful.

  “The Ranger Bob you’ve met in that little town. Don’t even try to deny it. I know you too well. I can hear it in your voice.”

  “You’re annoyingly bossy when you’re tired, Sofia. There’s no way you can tell something like that from my voice alone.”

  “Tell me now, or I’m going to call Mom and Dad, and you’ll get a call within five minutes. I don’t think you want that, do you?” Sofia made a good point. Dad would try to convince her all over again to move home, and Mom would start barking questions.

  “Fine. I’ll tell you. It’s the same guy I mentioned to you before. Remember the one I met at the coffee shop on my first day in Cherish?”

  “Oh, right. The intriguing guy with the cool name who talked a good game of love. Who turned out to be your patient’s grandson.”

  “That’s the one.” Vara spent the next five minutes telling her sister more about Thornton, ending with, “I don’t want to fall for this guy, Sofia. I…can’t.”

  “Excuses. You’ve obviously gotten to know him better. Now you’re dancing and flirting with the guy. Not to mention he has a really cool job, and he’s a bona fide hero! That’s quite an update.”

  “I know, but even if I wanted to pursue something—and I’m not saying I do—Thornton travels all the time. How could we have any kind of future together? A long-distance relationship under those circumstances might work for some women, but I’m not one of them.”

  “That’s not such a big deal these days, Vara. If he has you waiting for him in Minnesota, then Thornton will fly back home more often. I personally guarantee it.”

  With a frown, she switched lanes again. “I’m not marrying him, Sofia. But I’ll admit that I find myself increasingly distracted. Maybe he won’t even be at this library thing today. Frankly, I’m not sure whether or not I want him to be there.”

  “He’ll be there.” Her sister sounded pretty definite.

  “You’re probably right,” Vara said. “If there’s an event in Cherish, I have the feeling Thornton will be right in the middle of it.”

  “You want him there or you wouldn’t have called me.”

  “Can’t a girl call her sister because she loves her and wants to chat?”

  “Sure, but we talk all the time. I know you, Vara. You need to talk this out, and you know I’m always happy to listen. So, how’d you find out about this event if Thornton wasn’t the one issuing the invite?”

  “I met a nice woman at the coffee shop, and she asked me to come. It does sound like fun, and you know I love books. More than that, it’s a fundraiser to benefit the town’s Valentine Dance.” She hesitated. “Tell me the truth, Sofia. Will I come across as desperate if I show up?” As it was, she was tempted to turn the SUV around and head back home. She had a mountain of laundry, bills to pay, and an apartment full of breeding dust bunnies.

  “Of course, it doesn’t make you seem desperate.”

  Good answer, Sofia.

  Vara frowned. “I don’t want to be the subject of finger-pointing and the townsfolk whispering about the poor speech and language pathologist who must not have a life in Minneapolis, so she has to come to Cherish in her free time hoping for a glimpse of Thornton Fielding to brighten her boring life.”

  “Get over yourself,” Sofia said. “And take a deep breath. Do you think your life is boring?”

  “I wouldn’t go that far.” Didn’t most single women her age go home and snuggle under a blanket with a cup of something hot and read until they fell asleep? This was Minnesota, not Florida where she could take a long, cathartic walk on the beach within a mile of the family home. Funny how that thought didn’t shoot a pang of homesickness through her now the way it would have even a year ago.

  “A woman doesn’t have to sit home in the front parlor waiting for a man to come courting anymore. I say you go out there and get some!”

  “Sofia! That sounds a little…dirty.”

  Her sister laughed. “Brie was right. You are so cute with your old-fashioned ways. Just talk with Thornton and see if he’s thinking the same things. My gut feeling says he is. If he’s not, then that’s the end of it. No harm, no foul.” She yawned again. Loudly.

  “How can it be the end of it if I put my heart on the line? For now, I have to see him a couple of times a week for my job. What if he rejects me?”

  Her sister was quiet for so long that Vara expected to hear snoring. “Sofia?”

  “I’m here. Okay, listen up, girlfriend. I’m only going to say this once, so you need to pay attention.”

  “Should I be scared?” Vara sighed. “I’m listening.”

  “Stop allowing Daniel to dictate your life.”

  “That not what I’m doing, but you know Valentine’s Day is still hard for me.” Vara chewed her lower lip. Perhaps there was more truth to her sister’s statement than she was willing to admit.

  “Yes, I know.” Sofia’s voice had grown softer. “In every other aspect of your life, you’re the strongest, most confident woman I know. I hate to see you doubt yourself. You know what? I don’t think it has anything to do with the actual break up with Daniel. I think it’s more about your feelings of rejection. No one likes rejection, honey, but it happens. Dating is a pain and relationships are incredibly hard. Remember what Dad always tells us?”

  “Which one? He says a lot of things.” She found it interesting how the one sister who’d been so busy building her career that she rarely dated was the one giving her advice on relationships. Still, Sofia was of generally sound mind and possessed good common sense.

  “When life knocks you down…”

  “Haul yourself out of the dirt, dust yourself off, and get on with it.”

  “Exactly. Thornton’s a Christian man, right?”

  Vara nodded then realized her sister couldn’t see her. “Yes. His faith is one of his best qualities.” She’d never met a man with such boldness who so freely and openly talked about the Lord.

  “Daniel claimed to be a Christian, but his actions didn’t back it up. From everything you’ve told me about Thornton, his actions reveal his true character, and he obviously likes you. Pray about it, leave it in God’s hands, and then get on with it.”

  “Thanks,” Vara said. “I appreciate the support. Going out to Cherish was only supposed to be part of my job. Not that I normally make house calls, but somehow this assignment has turned into so much more.”

  “You said this library thing today is to benefit a Valentine dance, right?”

  “That’s right.”

  “Then connect the dots. Seems to me this is your prime opportunity to get over the hump. Two years ago, you had the worst Valentine’s Day of your life. It’s time to put it behind you once and for all, and make this year the best ever! Now, here’s what you do: take the reins and ask Thornton to that Valentine’s Day dance. How about that?”

  That made her smile. “It’d throw him for a loop, but I’m sure he’d be thrilled.”

  “If you think that, then why on Earth would you think the man might reject you?”

 
Because I’m still an emotional ninny living in the past because of one man’s betrayal. “Okay, maybe you’re right. But I’ve never asked a man for a date, and I doubt I will today.”

  “Well, no matter what, Thornton sounds great. Just promise you’ll think about taking that first step. You’ll never know until you try.” Sofia yawned again. “As soon as I’m a little more awake, I’m going to look him up on social media and make sure his status doesn’t say he’s in a relationship—or more than one.”

  Vara frowned. “People reveal things like that online?”

  “You’d be shocked by what they say and do. It’s kind of scary sometimes.” Vara hadn’t even thought to look him up on social media. The only thing she’d done was check out Thornton’s website. As she’d expected, it was professionally done but geared more for potential clients.

  “I’m almost in Cherish. Thanks for the pep talk, Sofia. Love you.”

  “I love you, too. Call me later, please? I need the scoop.”

  “Will do.” After disconnecting the call, Vara cranked up the volume on her favorite Christian radio station. “Forgiven” by Crowder began to play. She started to sing the song, but then stopped and listened. Really listened. The song talked about the freedom to be found in saying good-bye to sin and accepting the forgiveness and grace offered so freely from God. Such a simple concept but, in other ways, quite profound.

  If she were honest, the relationship with Daniel had slowly fizzled before it finally died. Well, more like crashed and burned in a spectacularly tacky way. The tawdriness of it all made her cringe even now. She’d occasionally catch a glimpse of Daniel in the cafeteria or elsewhere in the hospital. Although she felt nothing romantically for the man, in some ways, seeing him was still like rubbing salt in the wound of rejection. But whereas it had once been a gaping, oozing sore, now it was more like a festering wound that had scabbed over and begun to slowly heal. Lovely mental image, but true all the same.

  Forgive him.

  Vara grabbed her travel mug and gulped down more espresso. She’d gone through the drive-thru at her usual coffee place near her apartment before heading out on the highway. Although it tasted wonderful and helped to keep her warm during her drive, it no longer held the same appeal or pizzazz as the latte espresso from Andrea’s. She’d been ordering this same drink for a few years—even budgeted for it since it wasn’t cheap—but now it paled by comparison. The death by chocolate had spoiled her for her usual morning jolt of caffeine.

  Forgive him. Forgive Daniel.

  What was going on? Vara willed her conscience to leave her alone. She’d deal with it later. She cranked up the volume even more. It wouldn’t drown out her thoughts, but she could try. The song playing currently was Sanctus Real with their song “Forgiven.” She laughed. Of course! “What’s up next, Lord?” Probably Toby Mac’s “Forgiveness.” Based on the songs with frequent airplay on Christian radio these days, forgiveness must be a universal theme.

  After her phone rang again, Vara lowered the volume. “Hey, Joanna. How are things in Miami?”

  “Sunny, warm, and busy as ever. Listen, Sofia just called.” Joanna always shot straight to the point.

  “She didn’t waste any time. We might as well call Brie and have a three-way conversation.”

  “That’s not a bad idea. Listen, she looked up your Thornton and heartily approves. She said he’s a hottie and sounds really fun from his Facebook posts.”

  “He’s not my Thornton, Jo, and I haven’t even looked him up. Did he…?” No, she couldn’t ask.

  “You should really get on there, sister. It says he’s single and works as an independent contractor. Sofia tried to explain what he does—he’s got photos on Facebook—but you know me. Unless it’s connected to fashion, it goes in one ear and out the other.” She made a whooshing sound. “Whatever it was, it sounded impressive.”

  “Why would I want to go on Facebook when I have the live version twice a week? Make that three times this week…maybe. I’m sure Sofia told you where I’m headed. As in right this very minute.”

  “She sure did.” Joanna laughed quietly under her breath.

  Vara sighed. “So now she’s calling in the reinforcements? Should I expect calls from all my brothers and sisters this morning?” Guilt pinched her. “Sorry. That wasn’t fair. You know how much I appreciate your concern.”

  “No prob. Vara, do you remember when I was dating Liam, and after we broke up, I didn’t want to date anyone else? Like ever?”

  “Yes, of course I remember.” Joanna had cried on her shoulder, in person and over the phone, on several occasions. She loved her sisters dearly, and Vara was thankful they turned to her for big sisterly advice and comfort.

  “Then I met Michael, and I haven’t looked back since,” Joanna said. “See, the thing is, God had a better plan all along. Isn’t that awesome? I thought of something that might help you. Look up Colossians 3, verses 12 and 13. It talks about how God forgave you, so you should forgive others. That’s my message to you. Forgive him, Vara. Forgive Daniel. Then you’ll be able to get on with your life. It’s been long enough.”

  “My life’s been long enough?”

  Joanna snorted. “Repeat the words after me, ‘No more!’ and say it with feeling. Mean the words and own them.”

  “No more!” Vara couldn’t help it. She started laughing. Then she explained to Joanna that she wasn’t being irreverent or laughing at the concept of forgiveness but the irony of the timing of the phone call. God definitely wasn’t being subtle this morning. It’d only taken her two long years to get the message, but in the course of a short drive from Minneapolis to Cherish, it all finally started to make sense.

  Fifteen minutes later, Vara turned into the parking lot of the Cherish library and cut the engine. The heater had cut out on her completely, probably never to return until she got it repaired. Pulling out her cell phone, she clicked on her Bible app and quickly located Colossians 3:12-13. So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience, bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.

  Bowing her head, Vara began to pray.

  Father, thank you for the good in the relationship with Daniel. It’s taken me a long time to be able to recognize the better aspects. You know my heart, my regrets, my sins. Although I didn’t sin with him physically, I did in my heart. As your word tells us, sin is sin, and there are no gray areas. Thank you for helping me to see that I need to forgive Daniel for his betrayal in order to move forward with my life.

  A tear slipped down her cheek. Then another.

  I forgive Daniel for treating me like I wasn’t worthy. Forgiveness is difficult sometimes, especially when we’ve been wronged, and it’s only because of knowing you that I can even consider forgiving him. I see now that our relationship wasn’t headed for marriage, and I’d deluded myself into believing there was something there that wasn’t…at least on Daniel’s part. I was swept up in the emotion of it all. I’ve been holding onto the hurt, and I’ve used my wounds as a shield to protect my heart from getting hurt again.

  I believe in the idea of love and soul mates. I told Thornton I don’t, but I do. At one time, I desperately wanted to believe that Daniel and I belonged together. But then he cast me aside in a way that wasn’t gentle, wasn’t kind, wasn’t nice. But I can think of that experience now—that night that ripped open my heart—and although some of the hurt still remains, I can see that the relationship wasn’t in your will. It wasn’t your plan for my life, my heart. Thank you for clearing the mud from my eyes and helping me to finally see the truth. Thank you, too, for the way you used my sisters and even Christian radio to reveal those truths.

  More tears fell, but she didn’t bother wiping them away. They were tears to cleanse her soul.

  Father God, I don’t know if anything can come of my feelings for Thornton. I know
he loves you, and that encourages me to take a step of faith, whatever that may be. Please show me the way. If it’s your will for us to explore a relationship together, then I trust you’ll open the right doors in your perfect timing.

  “I ask all these things in the name of your Son, Jesus. Amen.”

  The drive to Cherish had been eventful and—except for The Speeder—uplifting. She felt much better for spending the time in prayer. It would be interesting to see what happened next. Brrr. She needed to scoot inside the building. Funny how she hadn’t even noticed the bitter temperatures while she’d prayed. But now she needed to get warm before she caught a major cold. She couldn’t afford to be sick.

  Vara grabbed the small shopping bag filled with books on the passenger seat. She’d chosen some from her personal collection and gathered others from friends and neighbors to donate to the library. Although it was too late for this sale, there’d be another one soon. With a library, there always was.

  As a rebellion against the unrelenting snow, she’d chucked her snow boots in favor of her flats. She was reminded of that as her feet hit the pavement. Although the parking lot appeared to be salted, she’d need to be extra careful on the old slip-n-slide to the library’s side door.

  No time like the present.

  “Here we go.” Vara began the slow, careful trek across the parking lot.

  Chapter Seventeen

  As Vara entered the library, she spied Laura waving and calling to her. “Hi Vara! I’m so glad you came!” The pretty blonde embraced her with a warm hug. This girl’s enthusiasm could quickly become contagious.

  “How could I stay away?” Vara held up the bag. “I brought some books to donate for the next library sale. Do you know where I can put them?”

  “I’ll take those.” Dorothea breezed behind them. “Nice to see you again, dear. Thank you.” She lifted the bag from her so effortlessly that Vara barely felt it leave her grasp.

  “Hello, Dorothea. You, too,” she murmured as the tiny woman disappeared around the corner. “She’s good. If I didn’t know better, I’d say Dorothea would make a successful pickpocket. Keep her away from the canals in Venice.”