Shoots and Tatters

by Sara C. Roethle

  “Who are you?” I panted. “Where am I?”

  She smiled. “My name is Sif. I have been appointed as your watcher for the time being, while the others figure out what to do about Hecate.”

  Unable to stand any longer, I lowered myself to the bed. “Am I no longer in my realm? I need to go back before Hecate destroys Yggdrasil.” I lifted a hand to my aching head, fighting the urge to pass out. Without me on earth, Hecate would have no reason to delay destroying the tree.

  “Hecate does not know where you are,” Sif stated soothingly, rising from her seat. “She will not risk destroying Yggdrasil until she has found you.”

  She approached the bed, her soft leather boots hissing across the tile floor. Reaching my side, she sat down on the mattress by my feet.

  “Lay back,” she instructed, gently taking hold of my arms.

  I shook my head. “I need to speak with Freyja and Loki.”

  Alaric is not dead, I repeated in my mind, though the sick feeling in my gut told me otherwise. Still, I refused to believe it until I saw for myself. It was the only way I could continue on.

  She raised a golden eyebrow at me. “They are both in council. They must not be disturbed.”

  I started to stand again, but she grabbed my wrist, easily anchoring me down in my weakened state.

  “Let me go,” I pleaded.

  She shook her head. “It is my job to see to your well-being. Interrupting the council would not be wise.”

  I looked her up and down, wondering whether or not I could overpower her if I really tried. “Wise is rarely the world people use for me,” I assured.

  Though I was weak, I hit her with a burst of energy.

  She lifted a hand and somehow directed it right back at me, never even flinching.

  I fell back on the bed, stunned.

  “You truly are not wise if you would choose to attack one of the gods,” she said as she moved to stand over me. “Now you must rest.”

  Rest? How the hell could she expect me to rest?

  “Okay,” I lied, scooting up onto the bed. “Sorry.”

  Seeming satisfied, she nodded, then resumed her seat near my feet on the bed. I wracked my brain for what she’d said her name was. Seef? Kif? I really needed to brush up on my knowledge of the ancient pantheons.

  “I’m Madeline, by the way,” I offered as I propped a few pillows behind me. Bile fought its way up my throat, threatening to give away my calmness as the act that it was.

  “As I said,” she replied, “I am Sif.”

  I took a deep breath, relaxing, while inside I was screaming for this woman to get the hell out of my way. If I could find Yggdrasil’s branch in this realm, I could go home myself. I didn’t need Loki, Freyja, or anyone else.

  “When do you think the council will end?” I asked conversationally. “Will Loki and Freyja be available then?”

  She shrugged. “It will likely take all night. You can speak with them in the morning.”

  I glanced at the sunlight still streaming in through the windows. It wasn’t even close to nighttime, let alone the next morning.

  “Could I have some water?” I asked, then rubbed my belly. “And maybe some food?”

  She gave me a warm smile, then stood and made her way toward the door. Was it truly going to be so simple to get her to leave? My heart beat rapidly as I watched her open the tall white door.

  She peeked her head outside and spoke to someone who’d clearly been standing there all along. Shit. Not only did I have to deal with Sif, I’d have to face at least one guard.

  After shutting the door, Sif returned to her seat in the corner, leaving me alone on the bed. “Try to rest now, for your child’s sake” she firmly advised. “A meal and some water will be here soon.”

  I repositioned myself more snugly against the pillows, trying my best to appear at ease.

  A few minutes later, there was a knock at the door. Sif answered it, then retrieved a tray being handed in to her. The door shut again, and she approached the bed.

  “Just porridge and water for now,” she explained. “Something easy to digest in your weakened state.”

  I nodded, then gratefully took the bowl and glass from the offered tray. The steaming bowl of porridge did look good, but I had better things to do than eat it.

  I sat the glass of water on the bedside table, then held the warm bowl up to my face, as if to take a sniff of the mealy aroma.

  Sif smiled and lowered the tray to her side, clearly pleased I was finally cooperating.

  Without warning, I flung the bowl at Sif, splattering her with piping hot sludge.

  Sif screeched, but I didn’t have time to pay attention to her reaction. I rolled off the bed, grabbing the glass of water as I found my feet, then used the momentary distraction to slip past her.

  I hurried toward the door, willing myself to not stumble, even though I felt a bit like I was going to hurl. Reaching the door, I flung it open with my free hand, then splashed the full glass of water into the face of the man standing guard.

  While he sputtered, I chucked the empty glass at him, then turned and ran the other way with Sif yelling behind me.

  Pain shot up through my heels as my bare feet pounded across the tile floor. Every step made me feel like I was going to faint, but I kept going, barely observing the gleaming tiles and flawless white walls of the hallway I’d entered.

  I skittered around a corner with Sif and the guard calling after me. I’d never elude them long enough to find Yggdrasil’s branch, so I’d just have to find Loki and Freyja instead.

  I rounded another bend as the guard caught up to me, just ahead of Sif. I whirled on the man before he could grab the back of my shirt, then slowly edged away, my hands held in front of me to ward him off.

  Sif glared at me, her face and dress streaked with the remains of the porridge.

  “You do not want to fight me,” she growled.

  Voices caught my ear, muffled by a nearby door. If I could just make it in there, maybe I’d find someone to help me.

  I must have flicked my gaze to the door, because Sif snapped, “Don’t even think about it!”

  Knowing this would be my only chance, I threw caution to the wind and lunged toward the door, grabbing the heavy iron handle and throwing it open. The guard grabbed the back of my shirt, but I was already stumbling inside.

  Both of us froze at the sight of thirty or so people, all dressed in fine tunics and pants, and some in dresses. They all stopped speaking to stare at us. Sif hurried into the room, grumbling under her breath.

  As the guard loosened his hold on my shirt, I scanned the room until I saw Loki and Freyja, then marched toward them.

  “I need to go back to my world now,” I demanded.

  Freyja and Loki both looked at each other, then back to me.

  “Madeline,” Loki whispered, leaning forward, “we are in the middle of a vote to determine what to do with your realm, and what to do with you.”

  I glanced at everyone staring at us, then back to Loki and Freyja. “Well it’s my realm and my . . . me, so maybe I should have a say in things.”

  “Madeline,” Freyja groaned, “you’re going to get yourself killed.”

  “If you’re not going to let me go back and find Alaric and Mikael,” I hissed, “I’ll gladly die.”

  I put my hand on my belly the moment I said it, forgetting I was speaking for two, but it was too late.

  “Let the mortal speak,” a man said from behind me.

  I turned to look up at him. He was standing behind a podium near the center of the gathering, raised higher than everyone else.

  “Present yourself, child,” he instructed, gesturing to the open space of red carpeting below his podium.

  “That’s Odin, you fool!” Freyja hissed at me, but it was too late, I’d apparently caught the All-Father’s attention.

  With a wary glance at Loki and Freyja, I approached Odin. He had long, silver hair, nearly down to the waist of his silver brocade
tunic, yet he didn’t seem old. He seemed fit and robust, with only a few wrinkles to give him a fatherly air. The only blemish to his appearance was a missing eye, uncovered by a patch as one would usually expect.

  Not quite sure what to do, I approached, doing my best to avoid staring at his empty eye socket. I reluctantly gave something that could be considered a curtsy, then met his one blue eye.

  “Hello,” I began hesitantly.

  Everyone in the room continued to stare at me, some with jaws slightly agape. Sif had moved to one edge of the gathering, partially hiding herself behind some of the others. The guard who’d chased me had quietly escaped the room while I wasn’t looking.

  I peered up at Odin and bit my lip. “I did not come here voluntarily,” I explained. “All I want is to go back to my world and save my loved ones.”

  “Your loved ones are dead,” he said matter of factly, “and your world is nearly lost. Hecate has placed an entire city within a bubble of power that will only continue to grow. The magic will spread, slowly reclaiming the land. Our next action will be to sever our connection to the World Tree, lest Hecate use the Well of Urd to destroy us all.”

  I felt like I’d been stabbed in the gut. They couldn’t really be dead. They couldn’t . . . yet, something inside me told me they were. Mikael had always assured me I’d know if Alaric was dead, and I did know it. I knew it with Mikael too.

  I could barely keep myself standing as acceptance finally hit me, but I forced a steady breath. There had to be something I could do. At that moment, I didn’t care about my realm. I only cared about what I’d lost.

  Odin watched me absorb his words, then added. “Unless you have a better plan?”

  My thoughts raced. There had to be something. If only I could go back in time to keep their deaths from occurring . . .

  I turned my gaze up to Odin, my eyes wide. “I do have an idea. I want to use Yggdrasil to go back in time and prevent Hecate from obtaining the well.”

  Gasps erupted around the room.

  Odin narrowed his pale eye at me. “Changing the past is forbidden,” he scoffed. “What’s done is done.”

  I fought back tears. I was going to change the damned past whether he wanted me to or not, but it would be a lot easier with the cooperation of the gods.

  I nearly jumped as Loki moved to stand behind me. “And is severing one of the World Tree’s branches not forbidden?” he asked slyly.

  Odin’s glare deepened. “It is a necessity, unless you’d have us all destroyed.”

  Loki tilted his head. “So you would rather commit sacrilege yourself, then allow a mortal to travel back in time?”

  Odin rolled his eye. “You truly think a single mortal, traveling back by herself, could thwart Hecate?”

  I watched as Loki grinned. “Yes, I do.”

  Whispers erupted around the room, but surprisingly, Odin smiled. “In that case, I’ll offer you both a deal. I will allow the mortal a single day with access to Yggdrasil. She may go back in time . . . if she can actually manage it,” he laughed. “If she fails in her task,” he leaned forward to look down at Loki, “then you will be the one to sever Yggdrasil’s branch, and you must also kill the mortal.”

  Loki simply smiled, even though we were talking about my death. “Deal.”

  I gulped. I had hoped maybe Loki and Freyja could come back with me. Alone . . . well I wasn’t sure what good I’d do alone, but damned if I wouldn’t try.

  12

  “You’re both fools,” Freyja hissed as the three of us walked down the hall.

  Loki smirked. “I’ve been called far worse.”

  “I have to admit,” I cut in, “When I came up with my plan, I’d hoped you both would be coming back with me.”

  “It is forbidden for the gods to travel back in time,” Freyja huffed. “We exist somewhere in all times. It could prove disastrous to leave one plane of time absent of our energy, while doubling that influence at a point in the past. It could change everything.”

  We reached the end of the hall, and entered a large room.

  I had to stop and stare. The tall stone walls were lined from top to bottom with weaponry. Massive swords, axes, daggers, and things I didn’t even have names for gleamed in the artificial light. The far wall was rimmed with bows, some taller than I was, stacked beside bushels of sharp-tipped arrows.

  “The least we can do it outfit you properly,” Freyja muttered.

  “You won’t have much time,” Loki began, moving past us to select my weaponry. “You’ll need to focus on returning to the time where you, Mikael, and I were trapped in Hecate’s realm. If you can access the well before her, you might just stand a chance of using its powers against her.”

  I listened intently to his every word. I’d only traveled through time using Yggdrasil’s power on my own once, and that was to bring Alaric, Mikael, and myself forward from Viking times. I had no idea if I’d actually be able to reach the correct time on my own.

  Loki returned from the wall and handed me two knives the length of my forearms and a lightweight sword.

  “I’m not good with swords,” I explained, taking the items in hand. In truth, Alaric had given me a few lessons, but I’d never quite gotten the hang of it.

  “You’ll feel safer having a sword,” he explained. “Just keep the pointy end away from yourself.”

  I nodded, then affixed the sheathed daggers to my belt with the attaching leather ties. Freyja found a harness for the sword, then helped me affix it around my torso, the straps crisscrossing over my round belly. I was sure I looked ridiculous, but Loki was right, I did feel a bit more confident with the weight of the sword on me.

  Without permission, Freyja began winding my hair into a tight braid to fall down my back, securing it with a thin leather cord.

  Dropping my hair, she walked around to face me, placing her hands on my shoulders, eyeing me intently. “Now remember Madeline, change nothing that needn’t be changed. Some deaths may be unavoidable. What is most important is that you access the well’s magic before Hecate, then use it to destroy or disable her.”

  I nodded too quickly, feeling dizzy. Since I’d first met the Vaettir, I’d always gone into these life or death scenarios with backup. I’d never had to depend entirely on myself. I was less than confident about it.

  Loki herded Freyja out of the way so he could take her spot. “After you kill Hecate, make sure you return to this exact time,” he explained. If you don’t . . . well, I actually don’t know what will happen, but I imagine if the you that exists right now never comes back to the present, you may not exist moving forward at all.”

  I gulped.

  “Plus,” he added, “I stuck my neck out for you. Do not let me incur the punishment that will result should you fail to return. I’d rather not be known as the slayer of Yggdrasil’s branch for the next few thousand years. I already have enough nicknames to keep up with.”

  “I promise I’ll return,” I said, secretly praying that I wouldn’t end up a liar.

  “Good,” Freyja and Loki both said in unison.

  They both looked at each other, then nodded.

  “To Yggdrasil’s branch!” Loki announced, lifting a finger into the air.

  I wished I could be as enthusiastic as he, but at the moment I felt like my entire stomach was going to crawl out of my throat.

  Fingers crossed that was the worst thing that would happen to me in the next twenty-four hours.

  Once I was fed and fully outfitted with my weapons, and a borrowed brown leather coat that was unbelievably soft and seemed handmade, Freyja, Loki, and I made the short journey to the World Tree branch, followed by a few of the more curious gods.

  The branch wasn’t far from the massive estate where I’d woken up. The shimmering gold appendage dangled down over an ornate, well-kept garden, its flowers in full bloom despite it being winter in my realm.

  A heavy golden fence surrounded the entire area, with guards at every corner, and four by the gate.


  Odin waited with them, gesturing for the guards to let us in without a word.

  Once we were through the gate, I approached the branch, craning my neck to stare up at it. It didn’t dangle as low as the one in Hecate’s realm. We were lucky I was tall, lest one of the gods need to lower himself by hoisting me up on his shoulders. I tugged at the loose white blouse and tan suede pants I’d been given uncomfortably, nervous about what was to come.

  Freyja turned her gaze away from the branch to wrap me in a quick hug. When she pulled away, her sky blue eyes held unshed tears.

  “I’ve always liked the mortals of your realm,” she muttered. “Do be sure you save them.”

  “And don’t forget to save yourself,” Loki added, patting the top of my head.

  I sighed heavily, then stepped forward. If I only had twenty-four hours, I needed to leave as soon as possible.

  While Odin and the other gods watched on, I lifted my arms above my head to grasp the end of the golden branch. A few onlookers snickered, and commented that there was no way I’d actually be able to use Yggdrasil on my own.

  I tuned them out.

  Closing my eyes, I focused on the branch, tuning into its energy. Despite the changes Hecate was making in my realm, it still felt the same. A hint of Mara, the Morrigan’s energy flowed through me, like a hug from an old friend.

  I concentrated on the time to which I wanted to return, focusing closely on the events that had transpired before Hecate left her realm.

  Suddenly the sunlight left my face, then everything went dark. The feeling of weightlessness consumed me. I crashed down into the damp sand next to someone’s feet.

  I scrambled upward, fearing imminent attack.

  “Madeline?” the man above me questioned. The familiar voice drew my attention upward.

  “Silver?” I questioned in disbelief, looking him up and down.

  He wore his usual thin white slacks and cream-colored coat that would have seemed over the top on anyone else, but on him, just seemed right. His gelled black hair didn’t have a strand out of place, despite the cool ocean wind.