All I Did Was Shoot My Man

by Mosley, Walter

  “Stanford told me all about you, Mr. McGill,” she said with assumed knowledge in her brown eyes.

  “Stanford?”

  “That’s my real name,” Lemon said. “And this is the woman I was telling you about—Tourquois.”

  A closer look explained why Stanford was particular about calling the teacher a woman. She was probably in her mid-forties, with pale crow’s-feet at the edge of her crystal gray eyes.

  She smiled and I nodded my greeting.

  “Thanks for letting me crash the party,” I said.

  “Can I get you something to drink?” Lemon asked. “Brandy, right?”

  “Cognac,” I said.

  “Right.”

  He went to the bar, merging with the mob of young Village hopefuls drinking and laughing all around.

  Morgan still had her lips pursed and Tourquois was looking down at her long, delicate hands.

  “Stanford told me that every policeman in New York knows your name and face,” Morgan said.

  “He did?”

  “Do they?”

  “I’m recognized from time to time. But, in my defense, often my face is familiar but not recognized. Now and then somebody might arrest me but they always let me go.”

  Tourquois looked up at me and for some reason I imagined her black hair going white.

  “Stanford says that he’s out of that life,” Morgan said, her lips no longer puckered for kissing.

  “That’s what I say too,” I replied lightly. “And I don’t just say it, I mean it. And I can promise you that I have no intention of pulling your man into anything but maybe that osso buco special they got on that blackboard menu.”

  The kiss returned, along with a smile.

  “Here you go,” Lemon said.

  He was carrying four drinks in his big hands. I’d forgotten about the size of his hands. They were both dexterous and strong. It was said that Lemon’s fists were fearful things in his youth. I was reminded of the boxer’s axiom that if a man could hit hard, he always had a slugger’s chance.

  “Champagne for my lady,” Lemon was saying, “dirty vodka martini for Ms. Wynn, VSOP for LT, and gin with a twist for Lenore Goodwoman’s favorite child.”

  He placed the drinks professionally and gestured for the waiter; an older white man with a bald head and a smile that wanted to be a frown.

  THE MEAL CAME and talk arose, centering around poets, poetry, poetry readings, and reading in general.

  “I believe that the most important book of the twentieth century is Four Quartets by Eliot,” Morgan said with certainty.

  She wasn’t yet thirty but had a sharp mind and a focused intelligence.

  “ What do you think, Mr. McGill?” Lemon’s girlfriend asked.

  “About what?”

  “The most important book.”

  The only way to explain my reaction is to say that I cast my gaze upon her. It’s a heavy stare replete with violence and the ability to absorb pain. For a fraction of a second Morgan wondered if she wanted an answer to her question.

  “All the religions got their books,” I said. “They know for a fact that there’s only one thing written that makes any difference.”

  “Are you religious, Mr. McGill?” Tourquois asked.

  “No.”

  “Then what book do you nominate for most important?” Morgan insisted.

  “Not one book but four,” I said. “And even if they had a great impact on the twentieth century, just two of them were written in that time period.”

  Before that little preamble Morgan had seen me as an uneducated criminal friend of the object of her affection, the fixer-upper named Stanford “Sweet Lemon” Charles. I think that she was more than a little surprised at this street thug’s pedestrian grasp of the can of worms her pronouncement opened.

  “ What books?” she said. It was a challenge.

  “Capital,” I said, raising up my left thumb, “The Interpretation of Dreams, The Descent of Man, and the collected essays that explain the Theory of Relativity.”

  “And why those books?” Tourquois asked, suddenly engaged.

  “Because,” I said, “those books tell us why we don’t know what’s happening but that it happens, and continues to happen, in spite of our necessary ignorance.”

  Morgan wanted to argue, to say something about poetry and the depth of its heart. But she was distracted by the possibilities that my suggestions glanced upon.

  “That sounds like something Bill Williams would have said,” Tourquois said.

  Bull’s-eye!

  “Yeah,” I replied. “Lemon—I mean, Stanford here—said that you knew this Williams.”

  “He took a class from me five years ago. I was impressed by his stories.”

  “ What was he like?”

  “An older gentleman. He was probably in his early seventies. From the little he let drop I got the idea that he had led a very political life and had turned to literature when the Revolution didn’t pan out the way he expected it to.”

  “He was writing a novel?”

  “It’s said that Gogol had called his great unfinished work, Dead Souls, a poem. In the same way I believe that Bill’s work was a prose poem in development.”

  “ What was it about?”

  “It was couched in the South American style of magical reality. The main character was a man born a slave who escaped his masters and traveled the country exhorting his brethren to either live as free men and women or to die trying to achieve it. This man, Plato Freeman, lived for many years and never aged. But, as time passed, who he was and what he knew were so roundly ignored that he became transparent to the modern world. In this ghost-like form he moved from place to place, following his descendants, primarily two great-great-grandsons that he could watch but they could not see him.”

  I wasn’t dizzy but I doubt if I could have gotten to my feet just then.

  “ Why are you looking for him?” Tourquois asked.

  “You know that book he was working on?”

  “Yes?”

  “I’m the Number One Great-Great-Son.”

  34

  I DIDN’T GET HOME until a little after midnight.

  The dinner with Lemon and his friends was unique, in my experience. I was trapped at that table like a fat and furry black fly on a sheet of old-fashioned flypaper. I wanted to bug out of there but the bait, as much as the glue, held me fast.

  Tourquois Wynn had known my father for eighteen months. He took her classes and worked on his novel. She had the feeling that he never intended to finish the book; that it was more like a penance than something to be published or even read by anyone outside the workshop.

  He always wore a dark suit with a collared shirt but no tie. He drank coffee continuously, and whenever he went out with the group for the end-of-semester class party he smoked real Cuban cigars.

  He never said where he lived but that didn’t bother me. I could always get Bug to hack the school records.

  “He was always very present,” Tourquois said. “You didn’t need to know about where he came from or who his people were because—I don’t know how to explain it, exactly—he was right there in front of you, sharing ideas and listening very closely. The usual banal questions just didn’t seem to matter.”

  She hadn’t heard from him since the class, and her phone number had changed a few times over the years. Twice during the meal Lemon had excused himself to go outside for a smoke. I went with him for the second break.

  He offered me one of his Parliaments and I accepted, the first cigarette I’d had since being the cause of the young men’s deaths.

  “I do good, LT?” he asked.

  “Yeah,” I said, “like a drug dealer at the back door of a rehab program.”

  “He really your father?”

  I took a deep hit off the cigarette before saying “Yeah” through a cloud of fumes.

  “How long since you seen him?”

  “Not since before Tourquois was born.”

&n
bsp; “Damn. You want me to ask around some more?”

  I left him with my phone number and my apologies to the ladies.

  I crushed out the cigarette and stomped the pavement as far as Forty-second Street before taking a cab the rest of the way home.

  AS I WAS making certain that the security functions of the front door were activated I could hear Katrina’s loud snoring.

  Before finding the source of her susurrations, I went down the sleeping hall and glanced into Twill’s room. That was habit. He wasn’t there and I wasn’t bothered by that fact. He was usually out in the world at night. Katrina was sprawled out on the daybed in my office; one foot was shod in a blue pump while the other shoe lay on its side on the floor. She was wearing an old housedress and smelled strongly of alcohol.

  Her right arm was thrown up, covering her face, and the left lolled out over the side, lifting and falling slightly with her raucous breathing. For all that was on my mind, Katrina brought a smile to my lips. There was more warmth in that knowing grin than the night of sex we’d just experienced.

  She had never sought refuge in my office before—as far as I knew.

  When I lifted her into my arms she stopped snoring.

  “Huh?” she squeaked. “ What is it?”

  “I’m taking you to bed.”

  “Oh, Leonid. You are so strong.”

  There are some things that a man just likes hearing. It doesn’t matter how predictable or clichéd they are. A man wants the woman in his arms to be charmed by his strength. So what if it gets him killed one day? Everybody’s got to die sometime.

  I TOOK OFF Katrina’s clothes and then disrobed myself.

  Naked under the covers, with Katrina breathing easier, I was surprised at how tired I was. Before I knew it I had passed through the veil of sleep, transformed into a little boy at the best amusement park in all the world.

  There was a real spaceship and live elephants. The elephants walked under beautiful waterfalls, depositing me in front of a hall of mirrors containing half a dozen giggling naked women reflected a thousand times.

  My eight-year-old heart was pounding so hard I worried that I might die before seeing all the other wonders of the park . . . THERE CAME THREE dissonant chimes. Each was a different length and tone—and they were loud.

  I recognized the sounds. I had chosen them because they were so jarring and unpleasant. The excitement of the dream helped the adrenaline work even faster.

  I was up and armed in under six seconds.

  As I moved toward the bedroom door I went back through the litany of every night that I came home. I checked Twill’s bed because Twill needed keeping track of. He was not there. I didn’t look in on Dimitri because he was gone. And what about Shelly?

  THERE WERE TWO of them coming down the hall toward the master bedroom. They had gotten past the front door, with its dead bolts in the wall and floor, more quickly than I could have imagined. They were hurrying one behind the other, moving low like predators, like twin brother cheetahs on the hunt.

  I shot the first one as he sensed my presence and was raising his own pistol. A tenth of a second later his rising gun hand hit mine, knocking the long-barreled .44 from my grip. This was a posthumous act because he was already dead from the bullet entering his skull.

  The second killer, trying to move around the still-falling corpse, was twisting his pistol to point at my chest, but I moved, with Gordo’s boxer training, grabbing the wrist of the hand holding the gun with my left and his throat with my right. He was at least four inches taller than I but still I lifted him up off the floor.

  The fever returned, momentarily fueling my rage like the furnace of a hot-air balloon.

  “Urk!” he yelped. One high note not unlike the feline predator he brought to mind.

  Three shots fired from his pistol, his windpipe collapsed under my grip. He died almost as quickly as his comrade had.

  I dropped him to the floor. My heart was beating as it had been in the dream. I stood there, naked, triumphant, and trembling. I would have been scared if it wasn’t for the blood screaming through my veins.

  35

  “THEY KNEW EXACTLY what system you had and the tools to get around it,” Carson Kitteridge was saying.

  We were in the dining room. Katrina was wrapped in a plush yellow bathrobe, sitting at our hickory dining table. I was standing next to her, wearing only my blue suit trousers.

  When the cops arrived I was still naked. After killing the second failed assassin I saw that his three shots had gone through the wall to Shelly’s bedroom. I rushed in. Two of the bullets hit her bed but she wasn’t in it. After that I called 911—the idea of getting dressed never occurred to me.

  One of the uniforms answering the call told me to put on some pants. If it wasn’t for her, I might have still been naked.

  “They didn’t know, exactly,” I said. “I had a separate contractor put in the second alarm system—just bein’ careful.”

  “Smart,” Kit said, his eyes, the color of a pale afternoon, staring into mine. “Looks like they used a souped-up magnet on the electronic lock and perfectly beveled crowbars on the bolts. Real pros.”

  Katrina put her left elbow on the table, leaning her forehead against three extended fingers. She shook her head ever so slightly, mouthing something over and over.

  “Bullets went through Shelly’s wall,” I said. “Two of ’em hit her bed.”

  “ Why don’t we go down to your den, LT?” Kit suggested. “Officer Palmer can stay with your wife.”

  Palmer was the lady cop that told me to get dressed. Her skin was milk with freckles. Even frowning, she seemed friendly.

  IN THE HALLWAY there were five more cops, a coroner, and four paramedics.

  Kit led me to my office, ushered me in, and closed the door. He said that we should sit. I didn’t answer. I didn’t sit either. I was a soldier right then; my squad had just fought off one attack and was anticipating the next.

  Kit stood with me, watching closely.

  While aware of the scrutiny of the insightful cop I was concentrated on the daybed where Katrina had been. I was thinking that no one had ever tried to kill me in my home before. The antithesis of that realization made me snicker.

  They’d tried to kill me in a dozen other places, but that was business—nothing personal.

  “You think this has to do with Zella Grisham and the heist?” Kit asked.

  “If it does, I can’t imagine how.”

  That was a grievous understatement of my imagination. Stumpy Brown had given my name to his torturers. When he saw that there was no way out he threw the dice, hoping they were telling the truth when they said that they’d let him live for just a name.

  I wondered if his corpse had been recovered.

  “You’re the one who called me, LT,” Carson said.

  “I called nine-one-one. They called you.”

  “I represent the police, when it comes to you. I will protect you just as well as any innocent citizen. But you have to let me in.”

  A thought came to my mind, a very disturbing notion.

  “Look,” I said, “if this attack has anything to do with Zella or the heist, I don’t know how. I mean, if I expected armed assassins in my home, do you think I’d let my wife be here?”

  Among other things, Kitteridge was a human lie detector. He could quantify any emotion in his mind. That’s why, even though I felt pressed to act, I chose my words carefully. In his own way the police captain was as dangerous as the hit man Hush.

  “I’m going to have to take you down for a statement,” he said.

  “Come on, man. You’ve seen my wife. I can’t just leave her.”

  “You killed two men,” he said. “They’d bust my ass down to desk clerk if I didn’t follow the numbers on this.”

  There was no way out of a trip to the police station. Most other times it wouldn’t have bothered me. Part of the dance is getting close to the fire without being burned.

  “Okay,”
I said. “All right. But give me a few minutes alone with Katrina. Let me talk to her a minute before you take me away.”

  Kit heard something in my tone. He knew there was more to it than what I said. But he also knew that I could be very uncooperative when feeling pressed.

  “And then you come with me and give what you got?” he asked.