Out of Focus

by Nancy Naigle

  Nick, do you even know how much I miss you?

  She reached for the tree and steadied herself. Nick’s absence burned deep to her core, but she still felt that Jake was alive—somewhere.

  A noise came from the woods.

  Jake?

  No, just a white-tailed deer scurrying for cover.

  Kasey forced herself to get back in the car and continue her journey.

  The road sign showed just eleven miles to Emporia. Two turns off of Route 58, and she was in front of Huckaby’s shop. Parking places were scarce along the curb of the Main Street address, so she parked a block down the street and sat in the car for a minute.

  Am I really ready to do this?

  She gathered herself, then headed up the sidewalk toward Huckaby’s store. The hand-lettered sign on the old Main Street building read Huckaby House and, in smaller letters, Real Estate & Renovation Supplies & Rifle Range.

  “Talk about a jack of all trades,” she said with a giggle.

  She made her way to the door thinking there must be a diner nearby—the smell of bacon permeated the air. She twisted the old brass knob on the tall wooden door. Bells tinkled as she stepped inside and closed the door behind her. The air was stale, as it often was in these old buildings, but the shop looked clean and shipshape. Any other day she would have loved to rummage through all of this old stuff. Reclaimed mantels, corbels, and rows of stained glass panels lined one side of the space. On the other side, wooden shelving lined the wall, and bins overflowed with original doorknobs and hardware. Heaven for any picker or renovator.

  A grayish-blonde man with a bushy moustache and Captain Kangaroo bangs wheeled around the corner of a display counter.

  “Good morning,” he boomed. His joyful smile was as genuine as the white of his name tag.

  “Hi. You must be Mr. Huckaby.”

  Kasey extended her hand. Even without the name tag, she would have recognized his energetic voice.

  “Call me Chaz. You made it here quick.” He stepped back and took a good look at her. “How did I not guess? Jake has your eyes and chin.”

  She smiled. People always said that. “Is now a good time?”

  “Absolutely.” He called over his shoulder. “Ben, I’m heading out.”

  In the back of the shop, a man raised his arm over a counter, signaling he’d heard.

  Chaz nodded. “All right.” He jingled his keys in his pocket and held the door open for her. “Let’s go. I’ll drive.”

  “Okay. Let me grab my camera.”

  Kasey didn’t say a word on the ride, but he didn’t seem the least bit bothered by her silence. He hummed the whole way there. She noticed the hearing aid in his ear and wondered if he realized he was humming out loud.

  They turned off the main road onto another that was heavily treed and winding, paved but narrow, with no painted lines. She could see why Nick would like this area. The land wasn’t hilly, yet rolled just enough to add interest. Huge old trees lined the edge of the road, marking their territory. The terrain was a nice change from the flat land in Tidewater.

  After two miles of passing only trees and a cotton field, Chaz slowed the truck. Ahead, a white clapboard single-story house with a red tin roof sat at the end of a long blacktop driveway.

  “This is it,” she said. Kasey knew. She and Nick had talked about it enough that the picture was clear in her mind. The house was a perfect match.

  “Yes, it is.” Chaz looked pleased as he parked the truck in the driveway. “It’s nice, isn’t it?”

  The porch ran the length of the house. At the far end of the porch, a swing hung from chains--just like at the Rocking R.

  White vinyl fencing outlined the fields for as far as she could see. When she and Nick had repainted all the fencing at the farmhouse last year, she’d told him she wanted vinyl. He’d argued that she was a city girl and there wasn’t anything like good old wood. She smiled at the vinyl. She hadn’t even known she’d won that battle. He had done this for her.

  An old barn stood at the top of the hill in the back.

  “How many acres?” she asked.

  “A little over two hundred, a lot of it trees. Good huntin’ back here.” He opened the glove box and retrieved a keychain.

  She slid out of the truck and walked toward the house, her camera bag on her shoulder. Chaz hung back for a moment, giving her the space to see the dream as Nick had seen it.

  A red tricycle sat abandoned on the front porch. She could picture Jake, pedaling until he was sweaty, racing across the front yard and up and down the smooth asphalt driveway.

  After a bit, Chaz joined her. “Ready to see inside?”

  “Yes.” She smoothed her hands on her pants and stepped toward the door.

  Not only was the house renovated, it was, for the most part, decorated and furnished. It matched every detail they had discussed and a few she knew were all Nick's—like the oversized leather recliner with the remote control balanced on the arm that was not too far from the big television.

  Just like at home.

  Nick was everywhere in this space.

  “It’s exactly how we planned.” She turned to face the large stone fireplace. She knew just what picture belonged over it: the one of Nick and Jake.

  Chaz stood near the door, allowing her to take the time she needed.

  In the master suite, a wall of windows overlooked pastures that backed against the thick tree line. Goats? She walked back out to Chaz.

  “Who has been taking care of the goats?” she asked.

  He laughed. “Oh, they’re no problem. The 4-H club comes out twice a week to check on ’em. Nick has an automatic feed and water system out there. Not much to do most of the time.”

  “Of course he does.” She smiled. “How many are there?” She put her hand up, “No, let me guess. One buck and twenty does?”

  “Yeah. I think so. You psychic or something?” His fluffy moustache wiggled as he spoke.

  “Hardly. I just know my husband. Twenty does and a buck—the perfect starter herd. I’ve heard him say it a million times.” Her eyes welled with tears, but she felt happy to be standing here in the middle of this dream.

  Several male cardinals flitted in a tangle of bright yellow forsythia. They whistled back and forth. Kasey thought of Riley. If Riley had been here, she’d remind her that the birds were a sign. A lucky sign.

  “Cardinals, good luck,” she said quietly, and she believed it, because this was the first day she’d felt like herself in months.

  “What do you think?” Chaz asked.

  She hugged her arms around herself. “I think I married the most wonderful man in the world.”

  He nodded.

  “Are you in a hurry?”

  “No, honey, I’m not in a hurry. You take all the time you need.”

  “Do you mind if I take some pictures?”

  “Not at all. I’m just gonna sit out here on the swing. You go on.”

  She wandered through the rest of the big house—big enough to fill with the additional two children that she and Nick had hoped for. But there wouldn’t be any more babies in her future. Shaking off the gloomy thought, she continued touring the rooms.

  Nick had designed the most amazing darkroom and lab for her, and right off that room he’d built what she knew he intended for her framing and scrapbooking projects. In a large L that lined two entire walls were slanted, counter-height work surfaces that lifted to offer storage. Her heart tugged at the sight of the bins with cubbyholes, perfect for designer scrapbook paper, and pegboard with hooks for scissors and other supplies. He’d thought of everything. In the closet there were slots to store glass and mat board without damage.

  “Amazing.”

  She carried her camera from room to room, photographed the house inside and out, from every angle. Then she walked outside and took pictures of the landscape. Breathtaking.

  She walked over to the porch. “Thank you for everything, and for your part in this surprise. It’s wonderful.
” Kasey nodded in appreciation. “I could live here.”

  “It’s yours. No reason you can’t.”

  Realization struck. She felt lighter as everything became clear. “You’re right. I guess I could.”

  He nodded.

  “Yes. Yes, I can, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do.”

  “You’ll love it. I grew up around here. The people are nice. It’s a great place to raise that little boy of yours.”

  She wasn’t ready to talk about Jake. Did Chaz really need to hear about that right now? Her heart couldn’t take the switch in emotions and right now she felt happier than she had in a long time. No sense screwing that up.

  “How soon could I move in?” Her mind hummed on all cylinders, thinking about how to make this happen.

  “It’s Nick’s gift to you. You can stay tonight if you want to.”

  She put her hand over her mouth and nose and breathed in. Her eyes tingled, but this time the tears weren’t filled with sadness. She felt joy, or peace—something good inside. “No. But I will be back soon.”

  Chaz smiled and put his arm around her shoulder, dropping the key into her hand. “Welcome to the neighborhood, Kasey. It’s all yours.”

  She clung to the keys, holding them close to her heart.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Kasey tapped the steering wheel as she drove. She felt alive again. For the first time in months, she had a clear direction.

  Until she and Nick had fallen in love, she never would have considered living outside of the city limits. In fact, many times she’d considered moving to New York City, Chicago, or even Atlanta to get closer to the action. No one had been more surprised than she when she felt so at home in Pungo with Nick. Of course, that was because Nick had been there. Even so, she could picture herself living in that adorable home on Nickel Creek Road.

  She laughed when she realized Nick could be short for Nickel.

  Funny coincidence. I bet you noticed it right off, didn’t you, Nick? A selling point, right?

  He’d thought of everything. She wouldn’t have to pack much except for her clothes and a few personal items. Her dreams with Nick could still survive, and she intended to live them. Nick and Jake would always be in her heart. No one could cheat her out of that.

  Nick would have wanted her to live in their new home in the country and hire someone to run the Rocking R. She could leave the farm in the hands of the caretaker for 4-H. There were funds already set aside to make that happen. It was just a matter of taking the time to do it.

  Kasey relaxed back in the seat. She could almost smell Nick’s cologne. Her mind told her that it was just the car, but her heart felt close to him, as if he was watching over her. That made her happy.

  She enjoyed driving the Thunderbird. No wonder Nick had loved this car. It didn’t handle like her Porsche, but it sure got a lot of looks. She’d take the T-Bird with her. The car had meant too much to Nick to leave it behind. Maybe Von and Riley could drive up one weekend and bring it to her.

  Everything fell into place so easily. Not one difficult decision to make. Moving to the house on Nickel Creek had to be the right thing to do.

  Kasey couldn’t wait to share her plans with Riley and Von. She knew they’d be supportive. Grem, on the other hand, was another story—the one snag in an otherwise perfect plan.

  Get the difficult conversation out of the way first.

  Drawing in a deep breath, she dialed her grandmother from her cell phone, but hung up before it rang.

  Popping in unannounced might be a better plan.

  Excited to share the news, she almost bumped the slow opening gates as she drove onto her grandmother’s estate. She parked by the front door and took the steps two at a time, almost bouncing her way across the porch.

  She knocked twice and pushed the front door open. “Grem? It’s me, Kasey.”

  Grem was a creature of habit. At this time of day, she’d be in the sun room off the kitchen, watching the birds flutter from feeder to feeder in the lush gardens.

  Kasey’s heels clicked against the wooden floor. Grem practically had her nose to the window glass watching the birds.

  “Haven’t you been back for a few days?” Grem asked in a condescending tone.

  She must have seen Kasey in the reflection of the window, because she hadn’t turned around.

  It’s going to be one of those visits.

  “Yes, a couple. But I was out of town this morning.” Kasey walked over, gave her grandmother’s shoulders a squeeze, and kissed her on the cheek. She’d promised herself she wouldn’t let the old woman’s foul mood get to her today. “I’m good. How are you?”

  Grem folded her hands in her lap and lifted her chin. “I’ve been better. An old body has aches and pains, you know.”

  Kasey nodded. “I’m sure, but you’re a tough cookie.”

  Tough old bird is more like it.

  “Yes. Well, what would you know?” she muttered. “Off running the roads like a groupie for months.”

  “I called every week and you had my numbers. You could have called any time, although you chose not to.” Kasey tried not to lose her patience. “Maybe I’m the one whose feelings should be hurt.”

  “My feelings are not hurt, young lady. It’s just common courtesy to stay in touch with family.”

  “Right. Okay. I’ll do better.”

  Grem touched Kasey’s arm. “Thank you, dear.”

  Jeremy walked in and leaned against the doorway. “I thought I heard your voice. I didn’t recognize the car at first.”

  “Oh, yeah. Nick’s. It’s been under a cover for months, so I took it for a drive.”

  Grem gave her the stink eye. “You’re not driving your father’s car?”

  She rolled her eyes. “It’s not Dad’s car anymore. It’s mine. And no, I’m not driving it. The darn thing wouldn’t start. Probably the battery or alternator again. So I drove Nick’s.”

  Grem pursed her lips as though she didn’t approve.

  “What did you decide to do with the truck?” Jeremy asked.

  “I guess I’ll have it towed. I don’t know why I thought I needed it at home with me. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time.”

  Jeremy popped a butterscotch into his mouth. He extended one her way with a nod.

  “No, thanks.”

  He shrugged and shoved the candy back into his pocket. “Want me to have someone stop by and check out the Porsche?”

  “That’d be great. Granddaddy was right. He always said you were the best all-’round problem-solver ever born.”

  “Rest his soul,” Grem said, her voice floating like a prayer.

  Jeremy nodded. “Consider it done.”

  “So, dear. Don’t you think it’s about time to move on, then?”

  “I’m trying.” Kasey cleared her throat.

  “Good. I suppose you could park Nick’s car in the back garage. That thing’s been empty for years.”

  “What are you talking about?” Kasey asked.

  “When you move back. I suppose you will want to bring his car with you. You can store it in the back garage.”

  “Who said anything about moving back here?”

  Grem gripped the arms of the wheelchair with both hands. “You agreed it was time to move on, didn’t you?”

  Kasey looked out the window. It was now or never. “Actually, I did come over to let you know...I’m moving.”

  “There you go then. I knew you’d come to your senses.”

  Kasey braced herself. Where to begin? “Did you know that Nick bought a house out near Emporia?”

  Grem shook her head. “How would I know that, dear? It’s not like Nick and I were close.” She rubbed her elbow. “Emporia? Why, for goodness sake, would he buy something way out there? No one lives out there.”

  “That’s not true, Grem.”

  Jeremy shrugged and walked out of the room toward the kitchen.

  “It’s a long story, but when I got back in town there was
a letter and a couple of phone messages. That’s how I found out that Nick had been working with this guy on our dream home in the country as a surprise for our anniversary this year.”

  “A secret?” Grem looked pleased, as if anything that marred Nick’s character was a point in her favor.

  “Not a secret. A surprise. A romantic surprise.”

  “Whatever.” The old lady clucked as if she wasn’t buying it.

  “I went there this morning,” Kasey said.

  Jeremy came back into the sun room, ice clinking in his glass. “Alone?”

  “Yes. Alone. I drive all over the country alone. Why would that surprise you?”

  “Yeah. Well, I know that. I mean, well, I’d have gone with you,” he half-mumbled.

  Grem’s right eyebrow shot up like a question mark. “Why didn’t you tell us before?”

  “I didn’t even really know what I was going to see.” Kasey refused to let either of them dampen her renewed spirit. “It’s absolutely perfect,” she gushed. “Our dream house.”

  “That’s very nice.” Grem patted Kasey’s hand. “You should make good money when you sell it. You can never have too much put aside for a rainy day.” She leaned forward in her wheelchair and spoke to Jeremy. “Will you help Kasey get her things to move back into the carriage house? This is good timing; the cleaning lady was here just yesterday.”

  Jeremy faced the old woman. “Sure.”

  “I am not moving back here,” Kasey said.

  “Into the carriage house. Of course. I know.”

  “No. I am not moving here at all. I’m moving to the house that Nick built for me.”

  Grem frowned. “You can’t. It’s too far away. I’ll never see you.”