by C. S Luis
I took the picture. As soon as Jimmy caught the flash he pulled away and grabbed my hand. He handed his mother the camera.
“Take a picture of us, mother,” he demanded.
She hesitated and positioned the camera. “Rachel, get in between them.”
Jimmy stopped Rachel. “No, I want a picture of me and my girlfriend, mother.”
“Okay, Jim, don’t be nasty.”
He rolled his eyes.
She snapped the picture. Michael appeared from inside the building. I caught sight of him and went over to hug him tightly. Relieved he was there to save me from this woman.
“Congratulations, sweetheart,” he said, holding me tightly.
“Oh,” I heard. Jimmy’s mother was approaching us. I was afraid of what else would come out of her mouth, and so was Jimmy. He looked agitated.
“Hello,” Michael politely said as I pulled away.
“Dr. McClellan, sir, this is my mother, Mrs. Reinhart,” Jimmy introduced them.
“Ms. Reinhart, Jim. Jane, it’s a pleasure.” She extended her hand to Michael. He took it politely and shook it. Jimmy looked over at her, puzzled. She came in close, leaning toward Michael. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought she was taken by him. Michael had a handsome older man appeal, I guess. Old fashioned, but well put together and fatherly in my opinion, in a sort of down to earth way.
“You have a lovely daughter.” Her words were forced. I caught sight of Rachel trying to talk to Jimmy. She was whispering into his ear. He looked bored and bothered by her attempt, I would assume, to draw him away. He looked uninterested, darting away from her. He moved over to me and put his arm around my waist. At this, she walked away.
“Thank you, Ms. Reinhart,” Michael said politely.
“Jane,” Jimmy’s mother corrected him.
“Jane,” Michael repeated.
“I take it you’ll be joining us for dinner? You and your lovely daughter? I’m impressed by the kindness and devotion you’ve shown her.”
“Pardon me?” I could sense the ugliness that was going to spill from her mouth, even Jimmy sensed it.
“Mother…” he began to say.
“Yes, to take in a poor girl like Claudia as your own daughter and show her love. That takes a lot of sacrifice and dedication.”
“Well, yes,” Michael was speechless. He didn’t know what to make of her words. I don’t think anyone knew. He seemed more confused by what she meant than anything else.
“I knew right away she couldn’t be your daughter. I mean it’s obvious. Her being, well, you know…”
“Excuse me?” Michael glared at her.
“Ok—Can we go?” Jimmy said, hoping to stop his mother from saying anything else that would further embarrass her and him.
Jimmy started to herd his mother toward the car, leaving me alone with Michael for a moment. She only waved.
“Well, I didn’t expect a woman like that to be Jimmy’s mother. He’s such a kind-hearted boy.”
“I know, right?” I said, “I think I can change her mind about me, though.” Michael smiled at me and pulled me into a hug.
“You’re a good kid, I’m sure you’ll win her over. If not, I’ll be sure to tell her where she can put her opinions.” I laughed, trying to imagine the polite and even-tempered Michael telling off Ms. Reinhart. I couldn’t even picture it.
“Don’t ever let anyone treat you like that. Okay?” I nodded. “There’s something seriously not right with that woman, I suspect she hit her head quite a few times when she fell off her high horse.”
I laughed. “Okay,” I said, giving him one last squeeze. He held my arm for a moment as I began to pull away.
“What’s wrong?” I asked him. He looked torn for a moment, as if he was going to tell me something, but then seemed to think better of it.
“Nothing. Let’s go.” We walked to his car and followed Ms. Reinhart’s vehicle to the restaurant.
16
Dinner for racists
When we walked into the restaurant, Jimmy and his mother were inside; his mother was already making demands about the table.
“I made reservations; what do you mean our table isn’t ready?” she said to the hostess, a young black girl who seemed to be just a little older than me.
The girl was apologetic. “I’m sorry, I’ll go check on the table, ma’am.”
Jimmy looked embarrassed. As Michael and I entered, he immediately came over and kissed me. I caught his mother’s expression of disapproval when she glanced back.
“Jimmy, please, not here. What will people think?”
‘What will people think? Of what?’
“Make yourself useful.” She glanced over at me, giving me a glare.
“You’d think you people could get it right,” she said toward our hostess. “It’s not that difficult.”
I noticed Jimmy rolling his eyes over and over. He whispered into my ear gently, “I’m so sorry.”
“At least your people are punctual, Miss Belle.”
Michael frowned at her, but the woman was far too busy complaining about our table to even notice.
We waited a few more minutes for a spot, with Ms. Reinhart fussing over Jimmy in a way that wouldn’t allow me to speak with him at all. I looked up at Michael, but he seemed lost in thought. His eyes darted around as if he was expecting to meet someone. Someone he didn’t want to see. Dr. Heinrich’s name kept popping into his head, odd. I would ask, but I didn’t want Jimmy’s mother to make a scene.
The water glasses had barely arrived when Ms. Reinhart started making more trouble.
“I always wondered why you broke up with Rachel; you two made such a cute couple. No offense, Miss Belle.”
“Mother!” Jimmy said.
Michael shifted in his seat. I held myself upright and tried to make it look like her comments didn’t bother me at all. No wonder she liked Rachel better; they were cut from the same cloth.
Jimmy cleared his throat and reached across the table for my hand. I gave it to him. “Mom, I’m with Claudia, we’ve been dating for a while now. You’re making her uncomfortable.”
“I’m just making conversation, darling.” She smiled over at me. “You don’t take offense, do you, Miss Belle? A mother has to be a little concerned who her son dates. Wouldn’t you agree, Mr. McClellan? I’m sure you feel the same over who your daughter dates.”
“Dr. McClellan,” Michael corrected, he looked agitated. Ms. Reinhart looked surprised by Michael’s tone.
“I have very little to worry about. Claudia is a great judge of character. I can’t say the same for other people.” His voice trailed off but his meaning was well noted by Jimmy’s mother. There was a brief, uneasy silence.
“Maybe we should talk about something else, then,” Jimmy said. I’d never seen him like this. He was snapping at his mother. I squeezed his fingers and he looked at me.
“I was hoping to introduce Claudia to Dad, but he didn’t even come to my graduation.”
Michael leaned in and Ms. Reinhart’s face scrunched with displeasure.
“Your father is a busy man, Jimmy, he doesn’t always fill me on the details of his business. You should be grateful for the house he’s given us to live in and the money that you will be able to use to pay for college.”
“What does your husband do, Ms. Reinhart?”
“He is the CEO of a large pharmaceutical company. He’s a very important man…” She shot Michael a smug grin.
“The whole thing, or just a division?” Her expression, while at first interested, had changed to one of disdain. I figured that she may be enjoying the high lifestyle, being the wife of a CEO, but she didn’t really care for the people her husband worked with.
“His father’s dad, Jimmy’s grandfather, is the founder,” she informed. “My husband has been seeing the affairs of the corporation until his father’s health improves.”
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” Her lip became a grim line.
“It’s a prestigious position. A family business. I honestly don’t know anything that goes on there, but I know their work is world-renowned. Top scientists and some of the best top minds work there. And some day my son, Jimmy, will be working with his father in some capacity. It’s only right. It’s his birth right…Of course, some would argue in regards to that.”
Jimmy flashed her a glare, she seemed to have revealed far too much, his expression seemed to say.
“Mother, I’m sure they’re not interested in your opinions. Or what dad does…”
“I am interested,” I said, not sure what prompted me to speak.
“Don’t trust anyone,” the voice said. I turned in my seat. I could have sworn that I felt the person’s lips on my ear and his warmth right behind me. Except there was absolutely no one there.
“Why is she so jumpy, Jimmy? Are all brown people this jumpy? Are the immigration officers after her?” sneered Ms. Reinhart, scowling at me over her water glass.
“Alright, that’s enough. Come along, Claudia, we don’t have to be subjected to this sort of behavior. Ms. Reinhart, Jane, you should be ashamed of yourself for speaking to my adopted daughter this way. She’s an exemplary girl and she does not deserve your scorn,” Michael turned on his heel and walked off, leaving me the choice whether to stay or follow.
Jimmy looked pained and his mother seemed to take offense at what Michael had just done. I stood up.
“I’ll see you later, Jimmy.”
“Definitely.”
“Be careful,” the voice said, “don’t trust anyone...”
“Why? Jimmy won’t hurt me.” The voice said nothing in return.
17
The Last Days
A few days after that uncomfortable almost dinner with his mother, I planned to meet Jimmy. He was leaving for New York to start working with his father. We had talked on the phone before. He apologized like always but his mother’s words didn’t bother me. Although, if we were going to continue together she would have to get used to the idea of having me around.
I didn’t know how I felt about him leaving; we hadn’t really talked about it. He tried to avoid talking about it. I felt we could continue. I hadn’t really thought it through, but I knew I would move if he wanted me to. After all, hadn’t it been Michael who wanted me to find something to do with myself? What better way to do something productive than to start a new life in New York? Maybe I could find a job as a waitress or maybe I could work for his father’s company.
I smiled at the thought. I had only to bring it up. I didn’t want to invite myself, though…
I looked out the window. Michael glanced over at me. He looked bothered by the fact that I was going to see Jimmy; he’d asked if his mother would be there. I don’t think he would have let me go if he knew she would be.
“His mother’s not gonna be there, is she?”
“No, for the fifth time it’s just me and Jimmy.”
“Where are you kids going?”
“Not his mother’s house, if that’s what you mean.” He smiled and came over to kiss the top of my head like a concerned father.
“Okay, well, if she shows up I want you to call me and I’ll come get you. I can’t stand the sight of that woman.”
“I’m sure Jimmy is not going to let me go through that again.” He still looked concerned.
“I sure hope not.”
I looked out the window and spotted Jimmy’s car.
“He’s here,” I said, turning back to Michael. I leaned over kissed his cheek, then hurried to the door.
“Claudia!” he called to me. I turned, opening the door.
“Can’t you just wait for him to come to the door? A lady’s patient.” I smiled and waved at him.
“See you, Michael. I’ll be back soon.” He nodded and waved me away.
Moments later, Jimmy and I sat in the park. Jimmy was holding my hand. This was our last day together and it felt strange.
He didn’t move; he didn’t want to. I could tell. His phone kept ringing.
I looked over at him; he was quiet, staring into the playground at the kids playing in the distance. I could almost know what he was thinking, and it made me blush.
“Do you ever think of the future, Claudia?” he suddenly said. When I looked over at him, he was staring at me. There was a smile on his face. A peaceful yet sad one. One that knew these would be our last moments together, yet naïve enough to believe it could last. He wanted to make it last. He took the phone from his pocket, turned off the ringer, and set it down.
“I honestly try not to,” I admitted.
He frowned at me. “Why not?”
“Because it never ends the way I want it. So, I try not to think about it. I mean, I guess I have wished for things and I hope for things. But I’m always afraid that if I long for them, I’ll set myself up for disappointment.”
He nodded. “I know what you mean, Claudia. I wish I didn’t have to go. I mean, I can stay because I have you and that’s reason enough.” But there was a reason for wanting to leave too.
“But I don’t want you to do that,” he blinked; perhaps it sounded harsh.
“I don’t mean it that way. I mean I want you to do what’s right for you, not because of me. I want you to be happy,” I said; he grinned.
“What if you make me happy, Claudia Belle? What if you’re the one thing that matters and nothing else?”
“Then I think you’re a fool, Jimmy.” I grinned. “And I mean that in the kindest of ways,” I smiled.
“You have a lot going on for you, Jimmy. I don’t want to be the one to hold you back. I don’t want to be the one standing in your way.”
“What if don’t care? What if I just want to be with you?” I smiled warmly up at him.
“Jimmy…” I looked down, blushing as he took my hand into his.
“You’re all I think about. Some days just the thought of you makes my bad days better. I look forward to every day, knowing I’m going to see you,” he looked away. “Why can’t I have both? It’s not fair.” His brow wrinkled; he was thinking.
“Father wants me to go work with him and I don’t want to disappoint him. Everything I’ve ever done has been to get him to acknowledge me and now that I have that chance I have to pick between the woman I love and a man who’s always shunned me.” I was surprised to hear him say that. He loved me? He looked over at me and smiled.
Jimmy looked conflicted. “I’ve talked to him about you but he never listens. I wanted him to meet you. I hoped we’d get together for dinner after graduation. He was planning on coming to Houston to see me before my graduation but, of course, he didn’t show.”
I thought about it. I hadn’t seen Jimmy’s father ever; only his mother, a tired, older woman who seemed out of touch with those around her. And not very fond of brown people, and that was putting it mildly.
“Again, sorry about my mother, by the way.” I smiled.
“It’s okay.”
“She hasn’t been the same since the divorce. And now that I’m leaving to work with my father, she’s been far worse. She and my father really don’t get along. And that’s putting it nicely.” He looked away, I could sense him thinking about his father. I could almost see a clear picture of the man in his mind. A very tall man with ash brown hair in a dark navy suit, very strict and very demanding. He seemed scary, like someone you wouldn’t want to cross.
“I think if my father would have gotten to know you, he would have realized how important and special you are to me.” He reached to caress my cheek.
“I don’t want you to lose that, Jimmy. You have so much to gain. To be with your father and work alongside him. I don’t want to come between that. I wish I had that chance.” I lowered my eyes, holding back a sob.
“I’m sorry, Claudia. I didn’t mean to remind you of…” he stopped himself.
I looked up at him. “No, don’t, Jimmy. I’m fine. I just wish we could have had more time together. Sometimes I feel like he’s still h
ere.”
“In a way, he is, Claudia.” I smiled. It was a nice thought.
“I guess so…”
He looked at his phone just as it started ringing again.
“It’s my mother again,” he said. And I knew it was time. He answered the phone and put it to his ear.
“Yes, mother, I know. I’m spending time with Claudia. Yes, her…I’ll be there as soon as I can. I know. Yes, I know, mother.” He put the phone down and looked over at me.
“Sorry about that.” He took both of my hands into his.
“I’m afraid it’s time.”
I nodded.
“I don’t want this to be the end, Claudia. But I also don’t want to hold you back…” he reached a hand to my cheek and came near, our lips touched. I felt him take me in.
“Promise me you’ll find happiness, even if it’s with someone else.” I gazed over at him.
“It’s okay,” he said and his lip quivered. “I don’t expect you to wait for me. I can’t ask you to do that. I wish I could, but it wouldn’t be fair to you. And it would be selfish of me.” He held me tight, then took my hand into his. We walked back to the parking lot toward his car. He opened the door and I climbed in. He closed it and walked around to the driver’s side and got in as well. Inside, he sat looking at the dashboard in silence.
“Jimmy?” I asked. He looked over at me and forced a smile on his face. He started the car and we drove home.
We arrived fairly quickly and sat in his car for a moment.
“If you want, I can go with you to the airport,” I said.
Jimmy was staring at the vehicle’s dashboard, he seemed miles away.
“I can’t ask you to do that, Claudia.”
“But-”
He turned towards me, reaching out a hand. “No, I’d rather you don’t. I can’t bear it now. Imagine when I’m there; I won’t be able to get on that plane.” He smiled.