Cupid's Way

by Joanne Phillips

  She jerked up her head, startled. ‘What? What did you say?’

  ‘Simmer down,’ Julia told her. ‘I heard from a number of trusted sources that you indulged in unprofessional conduct with the CEO of a national development corporation.’

  ‘What? Well, that’s just–’

  ‘And that you were drinking cocktails in the bar and being unprofessional in relation to your industry.’

  ‘I was what?’ Evie’s face burned with embarrassment and outrage. She couldn’t remember standing up, but now she was leaning over Julia’s desk with her hands clenched into fists.

  Her boss was completely unperturbed. ‘Sit down, Evie,’ she said. Her voice was flat, almost bored.

  Evie sat, fuming. Indulging in unprofessional conduct with the CEO of a national development corporation? Outrageous. Although she certainly would have indulged if said CEO hadn’t been too much of a gentleman to take advantage of her … But that was beside the point.

  ‘I’ve also heard that you did Lee, Lee and Meredith a distinct disservice during your talk, which was – and I quote – “uninspiring, wooden, and flat”.’ Julia smiled, which was in itself pretty terrifying. ‘Just because your talk was about wooden cladding, there was no need for you to emulate your subject.’

  Evie glared as Julia laughed at her own dreadful joke.

  ‘Plus,’ Julia began, and Evie let out a groan. What else could she have done wrong? She hadn’t even been at the office for two weeks. ‘Plus, there’s the matter of unauthorised use of company resources.’

  Evie shook her head. She was having trouble staying in her seat. ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about, Julia. None of it. Especially that last bit.’

  Julia stared pointedly out into the larger office, where Harry sat in front of his drawing board. Evie followed her gaze, then reddened some more.

  ‘I only asked him to look into something for me. He could have said no.’

  ‘He never says no to a pretty face.’

  Somehow Evie figured her boss hadn’t meant this as a compliment.

  ‘I’ll level with you, Evie. Your conduct at the Go Green conference is not what we expect from our employees here at Lee, Lee and Meredith.’

  ‘But I haven’t even had a chance to–’

  ‘However, your work is acceptable, just about, so I’ve decided to file this transgression for the time being, and if you manage to impress me considerably over the next six months it will be wiped from your record.’

  Gee, thanks. Evie wanted to tell Julia Meredith where to get off so badly she could taste the words in her mouth. But right now she had another agenda, something she’d been thinking about all weekend. It was time she spoke up, before Julia dismissed her and she lost her chance.

  ‘While we’re on the subject of my work here,’ she said, squeezing her hands together, ‘there’s something I’d like to discuss with you.’

  Julia blinked and considered Evie. ‘Okay,’ she said. ‘Shoot.’

  ‘I’d like to retake my exams. I’ll study in my spare time, and I don’t expect the company to fund it. But I’d appreciate your support. It will help me get back into the system.’

  Julia shook her head. She didn’t even take a moment to think about it. ‘Out of the question. You’ll be far too busy for that.’

  ‘But, Julia, you know it’s what I’ve always wanted to do,’ Evie said, trying to keep her voice steady.

  ‘Yes, and you had your shot.’

  The fact that Evie blew it was left unsaid, but they both knew the words were out there in the ether.

  Julia picked up some papers and tapped them into a neat pile. ‘Your job here is well paid and you should be grateful for it, considering. Besides, the project I have for you now is–’

  ‘Excuse me – considering what?’

  ‘Pardon?’

  Evie was on the edge of her seat now, sitting on her hands to keep them still. She took a deep breath. ‘You just said I should be grateful for my job “considering”. Considering what?’

  Her boss showed no signs of discomfort. She shrugged her skinny shoulders, and said, ‘Considering you have zero qualifications, no prospects, and aren’t really all that bright. No need to make me spell it out for you, but you asked. Anyway, if you’d stop interrupting me I could tell you about the new project I want you to work on.’

  Evie zoned out, reeling from the barrage of insults. Zero qualifications wasn’t exactly true, but no prospects? And not all that bright? Was that really how they saw her?

  Julia was droning on, but Evie interrupted again. ‘So when this project is finished, can I retake my exams then? I mean, with me being under-qualified and all. Surely you want me to be a more worthwhile employee?’

  Julia laughed. It was the laugh that got Evie, the tinkling sound of it. Her boss’s voice was like sandpaper; her manner reminiscent of a sergeant major. So how the hell did she get the tinkling laugh and the gorgeous legs and the hourglass figure with its made-to-measure white shirts? Life wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair at all.

  ‘Oh, Evie. Sometimes in life we just have to settle for what we have. It’s about knowing what we’re capable of, that’s the secret to being happy. Know yourself. Don’t keep reaching for something that’s out of your league.’

  Evie stared at her boss. The moment seemed to freeze around her, like someone had pressed the pause button on a video. Sounds slowed down – the ticking of the clock on the wall, a train passing by the window, voices in the outer office. Evie’s world slid into a kind of stasis. She saw herself from above, sitting on the edge of her seat like a naughty schoolgirl being told off by the impatient-but-tolerant headmistress. She noticed that she was wearing that grey polyester suit she hated, and that it looked truly terrible on her: too tight on the thighs, too baggy across the chest. She noticed that she was wearing too much make-up, and that her eyes were dull and had dark rings underneath them. She barely recognised herself.

  She watched this other Evie Stone carry on into the future. Evie Stone caved in, the way she always did in situations like this, and did an about-turn just in time to save the day. She made a joke about the conference, about her own ditsy behaviour, trying to ingratiate herself with her unfeeling boss because she knew this was the only way she could keep her job.

  A job she hated. A job she lied about to her own family because she was ashamed that she’d messed up and flunked her dreams and wasn’t living the life she wanted to live at all. She was a fake, and a failure. She was pathetic.

  All this time she’d been kidding herself that she was making a difference when really she was just a pen-pusher, nothing more. Lee, Lee and Meredith were no better than Dynamite Construction, when you thought about it, although at least Dynamite were upfront about their goals and didn’t hide behind Environment Agency funding and pictures of meadows on their website. Evie thought about her dad, about the stories she’d been told about the Rainbow Warrior and how he’d fought for what he believed in. Just when exactly had her enthusiasm for the environment turned into the desire to do admin for a company her dad would most likely spit at?

  But hadn’t she sold out a long time ago? Evie looked down at herself – a woman pushing thirty wearing a cheap suit and uncomfortable shoes because that was what office staff looked like, despite hating what she faced in the mirror every single morning – and saw a woman who had been operating on autopilot so long she had completely forgotten where she was going. James hadn’t been the cause of her problems, despite the way he’d drained both her energy and her emotions. James had been nothing more than a diversion. A blip. A wilful distraction, to stop her facing up to the bigger picture. What she’d felt for him hadn’t been real passion – in fact, Evie couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt truly passionate about anything.

  And then, suddenly, she could remember. It had been when she was talking to Michael, arguing with him about Cupid’s Way. There was a cause, a fight worth fighting, and for a while it had made her come alive again. That
was why being back home felt so flat and lifeless – because this wasn’t really her home at all. A job and a flat and a few friends who forgot you’d even gone away and didn’t bother to call when you got back.

  Home is where you feel alive, not where you feel like crawling back into bed every morning.

  With a click and a dizzying lurch in her stomach, Evie’s world came back into focus. The voices in the outer office started up at normal volume; the silver and glass clock on the wall carried on ticking insistently. And Julia regarded her with barely disguised impatience. The woman looked up at the clock, then tapped her fingers on her ridiculous oak desk.

  Evie stood up. ‘I quit,’ she said, and she smiled. It might have been the first genuine smile she’d managed in this building.

  Julia laughed. It wasn’t the reaction Evie had been expecting.

  ‘I don’t think so, Evie. Now, I suggest you get back to work and try and catch up. There’s been a lot going on while you’ve been away and–’

  ‘No, I quit.’ Evie raised her voice, feeling an odd sort of heat flow up through her body. ‘I quit. I’m leaving. Handing in my notice, effective immediately. Resigning. Moving on. Whatever you want to call it, it’s all the same to me.’ She laughed, and her laugh was not remotely tinkling but the sound of it made her laugh some more. ‘I quit. Thank you and goodbye, Miss Meredith. I’d say you’ve been a great boss but to be honest, I’d be lying.’

  Julia leaned back as though she’d been slapped. ‘You can’t quit. We’ve got a new project starting this week. I need you.’

  ‘Tough.’ Evie smoothed down her slippery grey skirt, thinking about how good it would be to never have to wear it ever again. In fact, she might even burn it. On the bonfire at Cupid’s Way. ‘Don’t worry, Julia,’ she said as she walked towards the open door. ‘I won’t be hard to replace. Under-qualified, no prospects, not very bright. You’ll be able to do better than me, I’m sure.’

  She packed her things into a box, grinning at Harry the whole time. No one else in the office spoke to her – not even Charlotte, who she’d shared a desk with for five years. Harry carried her box out to her car and leaned against it. He pulled out a half-smoked cigar and lit it.

  ‘Evie,’ he said. ‘I think you’re crazy but I’ll miss you.’

  She gave him a brief hug, thanking him again for his help.

  ‘I got you into trouble. I didn’t mean to tell her. She just has this way of wheedling it out of you.’

  ‘I don’t care, Harry. To be honest, I’m not leaving because of anything that happened in there just now. This is about me, not Julia or the job. It’s something I should have done a long time ago.’

  ‘What will you do now?’ he asked, puffing out a noxious cloud of smoke.

  ‘Go somewhere where I can breathe,’ she said, laughing. She stowed the box in the boot and got into the car, winding down the window so she could take in more of Harry’s pollution. ‘Take care,’ she told him. ‘You’re the only thing about this place I’ll miss.’

  He gave her a mini salute and stood back to let her reverse. He said, ‘If you need any help with it, let me know.’

  Evie put her foot on the brake pedal. ‘Help with what?’

  ‘With saving that street of yours. That’s where you’re off to, isn’t it?’

  ‘I don’t know where I’m off to, Harry,’ Evie said. ‘Really. I don’t have any plans at all.’

  ‘Righto,’ Harry said, grinning. ‘Whatever you say.’

  Chapter 16

  ‘Evie! It’s so wonderful to hear your voice. How are you?’

  It was just before seven in the evening in rainy Manchester, but coming up to three in the afternoon in Canada. Probably, in Canada, it was brilliant sunshine and blue skies all the way. Evie held the phone to her ear with a slightly dazed look on her face, still wondering what impulse had driven her to return her mother’s call today of all days. Hadn’t ditching her job been stressful enough?

  Clearly, she was on some kind of drive to self-destruct.

  Evie realised she was pacing around the living room, and forced herself to sit down. The sofa was next to the picture window and the lights outside glittered orange and red. She said, ‘Fine. Just fine. Yes, everything’s absolutely fine. Better than fine, in fact.’

  ‘You sound so far away, Evie. Hold the phone closer to your mouth.’

  Evie adjusted the receiver, then sighed in exasperation.

  ‘Mum, I’m in England. I am far away.’

  Angela Stone cackled into the mouthpiece and Evie tipped her head back, wincing.

  ‘Oh, Evie. Always the same. Always there with the funny comebacks. How are Mum and Dad?’ She sounded as though she was eating a packet of crisps.

  ‘They’re fine,’ Evie told her, chewing on a nail. She wondered whether she should spill her news, then remembered that her mother had said she had exiting news of her own. ‘Mum, what was it you–’

  ‘Fine? I thought there was some big drama over the street being knocked down. How are they fine?’

  ‘Well, if you knew how they were already, why did you ask?’

  ‘Sorry, Miss Grumpy-Pants. Excuse me for breathing.’

  Evie forced herself to take a deep, calming breath. Why was she being so difficult? Maybe she was hungry. She’d been so full of energy since leaving work that morning, charging around the city, making plans, she’d forgotten to eat. And phone calls with her mother were never easy. There was just too much history hanging around, like their personal rain cloud threatening to break open.

  But it had been over a year since they’d spoken – shouldn’t she be happy that Angela wanted to share her news? Wasn’t that what she wanted, really? To feel important, to have a normal relationship?

  And wasn’t this the day for fresh starts?

  She softened her voice. ‘Gramps and Gran are doing okay, Mum. Thanks for asking. They’re stressed, naturally, but we’ve got a few ideas about how to fight the planners. In fact, if everything works out okay it might be–’

  ‘That’s lovely, sweetheart. I’m so glad. Anyway, the reason I was phoning was …’

  Evie looked at the phone in her hand, and then back at the window, as though hoping there might be someone out there to sympathise with her. ‘See what she’s like?’ she might have said. ‘See what I have to put up with?’

  She returned the phone to her ear. Her mother was still talking. ‘Sorry,’ Evie said, ‘I missed that. What did you say?’

  Angela sighed. ‘Daydreaming again, were we? Well, when you move out here you’ll have no time for daydreaming. It’ll be hard work, but we’ll see you right. Toby said it’s always best to keep things in the family.’ She dropped her voice to a whisper. ‘He’s such a lovely man, Evie. I really landed on my feet when I met him. To think what I had to put up with all those years, all those men with their stupid–’

  ‘Mum? What exactly are you going on about?’

  ‘Coming to Canada, of course. Toby and I want you to come and help us run the mail order pet supplies business. And the great news is, we’ve found some office space to rent in town so Toby’s going to clear out the spare room. You’ll be able to live right here with us.’

  Evie blinked. The pounding music from the flat below started up again, and out in the corridor a door slammed shut, making the thin walls shake.

  One door shuts, another one opens.

  Evie let out a hysterical laugh. She hadn’t thought she’d be offered another job quite so soon.

  ‘Mum, I really don’t think I’m ready for that.’

  ‘Oh, I know you’re going to want time to think about it. That’s what I said to your gran the other day. Evie always has to consider everything from every angle, weigh up all the pros and cons. I was just like that at your age.’

  ‘Hold on – you talked to Gran about this?’

  ‘She didn’t mention it to you? She said she was going to mention it to you.’

  ‘I guess she had other things on her mind.’ Evie
narrowed her eyes at the window. ‘Mum, have you ever heard of someone called Tommy?’

  Silence down the line. Then, ‘I don’t think so. Was he one of your boyfriends?’ Angela laughed. ‘Was he one of my boyfriends?’

  Evie bit her lip. Forcing her own fresh start was one thing, but this was her gran’s secret to tell, not hers. She decided a change of subject was the best thing, and she knew just what to say.

  ‘Mum, I walked out of my job today. I’m going to move away from Manchester. But not to Canada,’ she added quickly. Her mother’s cheering stopped abruptly.

  ‘Oh,’ she said. ‘Then where are you going?’

  ‘Home,’ Evie said, with a beaming smile on her face. ‘I’m going home, Mum. I’m going back to Cupid’s Way.’

  *

  For three days Evie was so busy she barely had time to eat. It seemed that leaving one life behind and moving on wasn’t as easy as packing a suitcase and jumping in your car. There were rental agreements to get out of and bills to finalize; there were pieces of furniture to find homes for and boxes of books and knick-knacks and kitchenalia to pack. She had more clothes than she’d realised, but most of them she put in bin bags and took to the charity shop on the corner. She also gave them most of her shoes and five decent handbags. Evie had no idea what she’d end up doing for work, but she did know she would never again wear a cheap suit to do it in.

  On Thursday morning she noticed her phone on the kitchen counter and realised it had run out of charge at least two days ago. She plugged in the charger and waited until her screen lit up. Five text messages and twenty missed calls. Twenty! Evie put down a half-eaten piece of toast and looked at the messages. The first was from Zac: Great news re Roman finds. Eight more in cellar. It had come through on Tuesday morning. Evie remembered with a jolt that of all the jobs on her list, she’d forgotten the most essential – she hadn’t called her grandparents to ask whether she could actually stay with them. Not that she expected them to refuse.

  She looked back at her phone. The next three messages were from Michael.