High-Risk Affair
Page 19
He hated people hovering over him. But somehow the idea of recuperating under the care of Megan and the children seemed close to paradise.
He could watch baseball and talk climbing with Cameron, could listen to Hailey read to him in that soft, sweet voice, could spend hours with Megan by his side, her knitting in her lap and her quiet grace and dignity warming the cold hollows in his heart.
He wanted that picture, wanted it with a fierce ache in his chest—until he remembered the scene in her kitchen that morning and her utter conviction when she told him he wasn't the kind of man she wanted.
He couldn't spend a week or so in her house falling deeper and deeper in love with her and her children, not if she planned to slam the door to anything more between them.
"I don't think that's such a great idea."
She gazed at him, and he saw quick hurt flash in her eyes before she blinked it away. "I see. Of course. As I said, with the children underfoot, it would be noisy and hectic. Not the best conditions to recover from an injury. It was foolish to suggest it."
Color climbed her cheekbones, and she suddenly looked miserably awkward.
"It's not that," Cale said. "The kids are wonderful. I already love them. You have to know that."
"Then what?"
"I can't do this with you."
"Do...do what?"
"I don't want your gratitude or some misplaced sense of obligation. Haven't you figured that out by now?"
"Cale—"
"It's already going to kill me to leave you. I'm just a man, Megan. I can only take so much. The more time I spend with you and the kids, the more it's going to rip my heart out when you make me say goodbye."
She was quiet for several seconds, the only sound in the room the quiet whoosh of the IV pump. She looked away from him, apparently fascinated by something on the floor. When she lifted her eyes to meet his gaze, there was a softness in them that hadn't been there, a vulnerability that took his breath away.
"What if.. .what if I don't want you to say goodbye?"
Her words hung in the air between them. He was afraid he hadn't heard them right, that somehow the combination of painkillers and Megan-induced endor-phins pumping through him was messing somehow with his head.
He straightened as much as he could, cursing the damn hospital bed. He would feel far better having this conversation when he was standing on two feet, when he could reach for her without having to beg.
"You said you didn't want this," he said warily. "You said if you would ever consider loving someone again, he would be a different man than I can ever be."
"I've said a lot of stupid things, haven't I?"
Wild hope beat in his chest, a sweet joy he had never known before, had never imagined was possible. It struggled to break free and he wanted to give it wings and let it cleanse away all the bitterness he had lived with for too long.
But lingering doubt remained. He couldn't change for her, become someone solid and safe. It would destroy both of them.
"I need my job, Megan! I wish I could tell you I would walk away from it for you, but I can't. Sometimes I hate it and hate what I have to deal with. But what I do is important and makes a difference in the world. I can't change that."
He caught his breath when she returned to his side and reached out to caress his cheek.
"Oh, Cale. I don't want you to change. I know who you are. What you are. You're a good, decent man who cares deeply about others. You've risked your life for me and my children, again and again. I love that core of strength and honor about you."
He reached for her, amazed and humbled by this incredible gift fate had bestowed on him. He kissed her fiercely, wondering how he had ever thought he was content with his life. Everything before her seemed cold and barren and empty.
"I love you, Megan. Crazy, isn't it, after such a short time. But I do. I love you and I love your children."
She was crying again, he saw with some consternation. He kissed away the tears trickling down her cheeks and was rewarded with a brilliant smile that arrowed straight to his heart.
"Does this mean you'll let us bring you back here to heal when you're out of the hospital?"
"I'm a grumpy patient," he warned. "You and the kids might be sick of me after a day."
She laughed softly and he was stunned by the depth of emotion in those green eyes, by the love and the joy he saw there.
"I doubt that." She sent him a sidelong glance. "Anyway, I'm a mother. I'm really good at kissing people and making them feel better."
Heat shot through him and he had to fight down a groan of anticipation.
She smiled, and in her eyes he saw a future stretching out ahead of them like a climb he couldn't wait to tackle, full of challenges and triumphs and wonder.
There would be hard stretches along the way, he knew. Every good climb had them. But once they reached the top, the incredible view would be worth it.
"I can't wait," he murmured.
She touched his cheek again with that aching tenderness. "Neither can I, Caleb. Neither can I."
* * * THE END * * *