To Know Her by Name

by Lori Wick

  She rolled to her side and let her gaze roam out the window. The bed was too low to allow her to see anything but sky and trees, but somewhere beyond the glass she heard a mourning dove call to its mate. Pup never heard this sound in Denver, and this morning it made her want to lie in bed all the longer. So often when she came home she was filled with energy and determination to get things done, but today her heart was quiet, her body still. Last night she had been too tired to do anything save fall into bed, but this morning she wanted to pray.

  I didn’t know I could feel so secure. I didn’t know I could be so sure. You’re here. You’re really here with me, and I know it. I believe this with all my heart, Lord God, and I see now more than ever before that You were here all along. I was wrong to go my way and live my own life. I hadn’t thought about my childhood experience with You in so many years, but I know You tried other things to get my attention. I ignored them. That was wrong. I can see this now. Thank You for taking me back.

  Pup felt her heart lift with her confession and realized that the last time the Lord had tried to arrest her attention had been while she was burying Govern. What an awful day that had been, and only two-and-a-half months past. Pup remembered her heart had felt as if it were going to burst, but she had pushed the pain away. She had desperately wanted someone here to share the loss and agony with her. She saw now that God had gently revealed to her that He was there for her, but Pup had not really understood or stopped to listen. Now her ears were open wide.

  It’s nice when we feel good, Callie. Mr. Harrington’s words from one evening around the dinner table came back to her with startling clarity. But our faith must be based on truth. No matter what we’re feeling, good or bad, it’s to be discarded if it’s contrary to God’s Word.

  It was then that Pup knew she needed a Bible. She could have kicked herself for not checking the reading room or even the general store when she’d come into Boulder yesterday. The thought of going back down to town did not thrill her, but she would do it if that’s what it took to get a copy of the Scriptures.

  Percy’s face flashed into her mind so swiftly that for a moment she was completely still. A second later the covers were tossed back and she was jumping out of bed to climb into her clothes. Her boots were only half-tied when she went out the front door, gun in hand. Not caring if they were up or not, she moved swiftly toward Mud and Percy’s. If Percy didn’t have a Bible, she’d head to town. However, something told her he did have one, if not two, and she was just going to have to figure out how to talk it away from him for a time.

  She slowed down as she neared the cabin and was relieved to hear voices. The brothers were up, and no one was shouting. Pup thought this might be a good sign, but in truth she never knew what she was going to find when it came to the Dougan brothers. They heard her coming even before she stepped into the clearing in front of their cabin, so both men were facing her direction when she appeared.

  “Well, Pup,” Mud said congenially upon seeing who it was, “you’re home.”

  “Got in last night.” Both men were sitting on a fallen log in front of their cabin. Pup didn’t come in close, not sure if Percy would like it. She spoke from a distance.

  “How’ve you boys been?”

  “Can’t complain,” Mud said with a grin, “but then I’m not Percy. Percy can always find something to complain about.”

  Pup was further encouraged when Percy only laughed. It was then that she noticed a book in his hands. Mud must have gone out last night and come home this morning with a peace-offering volume. It wasn’t hard to figure, considering that Mud’s face was puffy, his shirt stained and torn, and Percy was intent upon the pages of the book.

  “What can we do for you?” Mud asked. Percy kept reading.

  “I wonder if you have a Bible I can borrow.”

  “Sure,” Mud replied immediately, but Percy’s head came up, his pleased face changing to a scowl directed at his brother.

  “We only have Mother’s,” he informed Mud coolly.

  “So?” Mud sounded indignant. “You never look at it, and what do you think Pup is going to do anyway—throw it into Lake Anne?”

  Percy glared at him. “I say it stays.”

  “And I say she can take it. She never hurts any of your books.”

  “It’s Mother’s Bible,” Percy repeated as though Mud hadn’t understood. “I tell you, she can’t have it.”

  “Well, for once you don’t have all the say,” Mud informed him. “Mother’s Bible is just as much mine as yours, and I say Pup can take it.”

  Mud turned to tell Pup that he would go in and get the Bible, but when both men looked back to the clearing, they found their guest gone. Mud turned a fierce glare on his brother and slowly stood to his feet. He walked back to the cabin, but not before his eyes dared his brother to so much as say a word.

  Pup had just finished saddling Ginny when she heard someone coming through the woods. She was not at all surprised to see Mud appear, but the Bible under one arm was another story. Pup had stepped out of the stable, and she now stood silently as he stopped and pushed the volume into her hands. She looked down. It was old, but the binding was intact and the pages did not appear to be torn or misused.

  “I never meant to cause a fight, Mud.”

  “Doesn’t matter,” he told her. “Percy’s always been stingy with his books. Usually I don’t have a say, but this one was Mama’s, and he can just get used to the idea.”

  Again Pup looked at the Bible.

  “My mother never had a Bible,” she said softly, “but if she did I would cherish it.” She looked up. “You can tell Percy that no harm will come to this book. I won’t take it out of the cabin until I’m bringing it back to you.”

  Mud shrugged irritably, still upset with his sibling. “It’s not doing anyone any good just sitting on that shelf. You keep it for as long as you like.”

  Pup nodded and looked at him. Mud looked back.

  “You’re different,” he said simply.

  “Yes, I am,” she agreed.

  Mud’s eyes dropped to the Bible. He knew that whatever she said, it would have to do with God and the Book she was holding. Mud looked again at the peace in her face. He didn’t dread the coming conversation; on the contrary, he was frankly curious.

  “You’ll have to tell me about it sometime.”

  “I’ll do that,” Pup readily agreed.

  Mud said goodbye and started away, but he was more curious than ever when Pup told him she wouldn’t be around much come the weekend; she was going down to church.

  Pup made herself work all day. She wanted to stop and read Mrs. Dougan’s Bible but resisted. So much needed tending. When McKay had arrived on her doorstep, she had not been expecting to leave with him. Mud had watered the garden some, but now it was full of weeds and dried vegetables. The stable was in need of attention, and she had clothing to wash as well. She would not catch up in one day, but she forced herself to put some time in.

  After a wearying day, evening was a welcome sight. The hot day began cooling, and the sunset sent a dazzling purple streak through the sky. She looked forward to bathing in the lake, but first she sat down to a meal of corn cakes, honey syrup, berries, and hot coffee. At her side was the Bible. She opened it to read, making herself pay attention lest she mark it with food.

  At first she didn’t know where to start. She paged through it slowly, not sure what she was looking for, when her eyes caught sight of the book of Jonah. She had heard of Jonah, but until she’d read the first chapter, she thought that the story of a man being swallowed by a huge fish was little more than legend. She now read all four chapters in Jonah with nothing short of surprise and awe.

  There was so much more to the story than the great fish. Jonah was a prophet of God. She had not known this before. She had also not known of the plans God had for the city and people of Nineveh. God told Jonah to spread the news of judgment to the people of that city. Because of their wickedness, God was going
to destroy them. He had not made any provisions to save them; they were doomed. But then the people had turned from their wicked ways, and God saw this.

  Intent on the words, Pup read for a time and then sat back, her food forgotten. Did God change His mind? She looked at the text again. She read it over twice. God had not told Jonah that Nineveh was doomed unless they repented. He had said they were done for—no exceptions or promises otherwise.

  Pup had never thought about God changing His mind. She would have to ask McKay about it, or maybe Travis when she saw him on the weekend. Right now it made her smile. What a tremendous display of compassion on God’s part. The very second verse said that their wickedness had come before God, leading Pup to believe that it must have been horrific. But He had spared them.

  “How often have You spared me, Lord?” she prayed alone at the table. “How many times did You see my sin and deal compassionately with me?”

  No voice spoke from the air to answer her, but in Pup’s mind there was no need. She simply wanted to voice the wonder inside of her. She went back to the book of Jonah and then prayed some more, her food still forgotten. It was several hours before she made her way to the lake and then was ready to turn in for the night. But until she fell asleep, her heart was amazed with the wonder of it all.

  “How are you?” Travis spoke quietly to Rebecca as he came soft-footedly into their bedroom. Lying on her side, Rebecca smiled tiredly at him and didn’t answer. Travis sat down next to her.

  “You didn’t sleep well, did you?”

  “Not very,” she admitted. “I ache, Travis. I don’t remember feeling so achy with the boys, but this time I can’t get comfortable.”

  “Are you still feeling that it will be soon?”

  She made a face. “I certainly did yesterday, but right now I think I’m going to be expecting for weeks longer.”

  Travis leaned close and kissed her forehead. He then sat back up, praying all the while for his wife and unborn child. Although married, Travis and Rebecca had not been living together when she gave birth to their twin boys nearly seven years ago. Everything about this pregnancy was very new to him. Part of him loved being involved, but another part of him wanted to skip town until it was all over. Rebecca had not been overly moody or difficult, but seeing her so uncomfortable before her pains began caused Travis to dread the coming hours and days. It was a strong temptation to beg God to spare his wife and child, but he knew he needed to trust.

  Rebecca watched his face, not able to keep a smile from her own.

  “What’s that grin for?” Travis asked.

  “I know what you’re thinking.”

  Travis smiled too. “What am I thinking?”

  “You’re wishing you could head out on the trail for a few days and return to find it all over.”

  Travis admitted to the truth of her words with an aggrieved nod.

  “I’ll tell you something else,” Rebecca went on. “I wish I could get away for a few days and come back to find it over as well.”

  This made the chagrined husband chuckle and reach for her. Rebecca was definitely rounder these days, but she still fit in his arms and against his chest. He held her in silence for a time and then asked, “Do you wish I hadn’t extended that invitation to Pup Jennings?”

  “On the contrary,” she surprised him by saying, “I’m hoping she’ll come and take my mind off the way I feel.”

  Travis pulled his head back, his eyes taking in the morning blush of her cheeks, tousled honey-blonde hair, and the dark brown of her eyes. He was still studying her when their sons interrupted them. They didn’t speak loudly or jump onto the bed, but crawled up softly and came close to their parents.

  “Is the baby coming today?” Garrett wished to know, his voice hushed.

  “I don’t think so, honey.”

  “I’m glad,”Wyatt informed them.

  “Why is that?” Travis inquired.

  “Because it’s hot these days. I don’t want the baby to get too hot. I want the baby to come before school starts again, but not if it’s going to get hot.”

  “That’s sweet of you, Wyatt,” his mother told him, “but the baby will be fine. We’ll work to keep the baby warm or cool, no matter what he needs.”

  “What if it’s a girl?” one of the six-year-olds had to know.

  “Whatever he or she needs,” Travis filled in, a patient smile on his face. He watched as they both nodded with understanding.

  Throughout the pregnancy the boys had been wonderful. Tender and caring with their mother and thrilled with the coming of the baby, they were nevertheless much more interested in having a younger sister than a baby brother. It wasn’t hard to figure since the Buchanans’ foreman had two little girls whom the boys adored.

  “I think we should clear out now,” Travis suggested, “and let your mother get up if she wants to.”

  “Are you coming down to eat breakfast with us?”

  “I’m not very hungry,” she told Garrett honestly, “but I’ll come and talk to you while you eat.”

  The boys were more than satisfied with this, and after kissing their mother they scooted from the room. Travis followed them downstairs to the kitchen, his mind on Rebecca’s condition. However, this wasn’t his only thought. By the time his housekeeper, Lavena, poured him a mug of coffee, he was asking the Lord if Pup Jennings was going to visit before the day was through.

  27

  Pup hit the streets of downtown Boulder at 4:30 on Saturday afternoon. She had made better time coming down the mountain than she’d figured and now debated whether she should head straight to the Double Star Ranch. Somehow she felt unprepared. Social visits were not something she did often, and her baking was never good enough to share. But something told her she should take a gift of some type to this family. She didn’t have a clue what it should be, but she stopped Ginny in front of the dry goods store and went inside.

  The store was just the same as she always found it: fairly clean, well-stocked, and organized. Today, however, she didn’t have a list; today she wanted something to catch her eye. She wanted something to leap from the shelf into her hand so she would know just what to take to the Buchanan home this evening.

  It didn’t happen that way. She first found herself spotting one item, knowing Travis would enjoy it, but doubting his wife would care for it. The next moment she would see something she thought the little boys might like but not knowing for certain. She was on the verge of giving up when she found the tin. There was just one, and on the side it said “Peppermint Sticks.” It even showed a picture of the red-and-white striped confection. “Ready to Eat and Enjoy,” the front of the tin proclaimed.

  Pup lifted the can. It was heavier than she’d been expecting. It crossed her mind that it might have been sitting there for at least a year, but there was no sign of age or gathering dust. With a small feeling of contentment, Pup took it to the counter.

  “Peppermint sticks,” Jarvis said. “I usually sell these near Christmas.”

  “Is this old then?” Pup asked.

  “No. In last month, I think, maybe two. They stay fresh in the can.” His voice sounded confident.

  Pup nodded. “I’ll take them.”

  “You want the tin wrapped?”

  “Yes, please.”

  Jarvis carried on a monologue as he wrapped the can and then accepted Pup’s coin. It was his usual way, so Pup listened, not even attempting to answer the questions he asked and then answered himself before anyone else could. She thanked him for his help and was back out to Ginny a few minutes later. As she headed to the ranch, what she was about to do suddenly came to her. She didn’t know Rebecca Buchanan from anyone, and although she was impressed with Travis, she didn’t really know him, either. How would she stay with them and still maintain her privacy? Her heart sighed. Not for the first time she asked herself if the job was worth it.

  Suddenly she was on the outskirts of town, her horse still headed toward the Double Star. With yet another soft s
igh she let Ginny have her head, but Pup couldn’t help but wonder what the next few hours or days would bring.

  “Now you sit there, Rebecca Buchanan, and I mean it!” Lavena North, the Buchanan’s housekeeper of many years, stood with her hands on her bony hips and scowled at her employer.

  “I have more things I want to do,” Rebecca stated calmly.

  “No! You’ve got to rest. Why, this morning you looked so tired and worn-out that I thought you were going to have that baby today! And now look at you. Turning out closets and wanting to bake. I won’t have it! If you don’t sit still, I’m going to find Travis.”

  Lavena stomped from the room before she could see Rebecca smile, or the younger woman would have been in even more trouble. The baby chose that moment to change positions, and for a time Rebecca was content to sit and enjoy the boisterous movements.

  She then realized Lavena was right. This morning and the past night she had felt terrible, but after the boys talked her into a little breakfast, she’d felt her strength returning, so much so that she had urged Travis to take the boys for a ride. Indeed, they were still gone.

  The baby was quiet again, but Rebecca sat for a moment longer. The areas of the house that she wanted to check on came back to mind. With slow and now comfortable movements she stood. Walking softly from her seat in the large living room, she made her way to the front door and out onto the spacious wraparound porch. The broom was where she’d left it, and watching the windows carefully so as not to alert the zealous Lavena, she now went back to work on the webs and dust. She was still hard at work when Pup rode into the yard.

  The relaxed and genuine hospitality she’d learned from Travis came swiftly to the fore, and the broom was set aside while she went to greet her visitor. Pup watched the lovely blonde woman as she began to navigate down the steps and swiftly called to her.

  “Why don’t you let me come to you?”

  Rebecca stopped and smiled, waiting for Pup to approach on her horse.

  “You must be Pup,” Rebecca said from her place on the steps. She was still smiling, but in truth this woman was not at all as she’d been imagining.