And Playing the Role of Herself...

by K E Lane

  "I did NOT scream."

  With a final pat on the beast's head, Liz straightened. "I distinctly heard a scream."

  "You were mistaken. I don't scream."

  She laughed, raising her eyebrows. "That's between you and…whoever, Caid, and more information than I really need to know."

  I scowled again, and, to my annoyance, blushed.

  "Don't worry, Sugar." Liz patted me on the arm and walked past me. "Your secret's safe with me."

  The dogs followed her across the room and lay down on the floor near her feet when she reclaimed her seat on a short leather sofa. I eyed them suspiciously, and lowered myself into the armchair to her right. One of them sniffed my sandaled foot, and then licked my toes and wagged its tail. I set my bag on the floor and tentatively reached down to stroke its head.

  "That's Clyde," Liz told me, watching the interaction. "He's a big baby. Loves attention."

  Jealous of the petting Clyde was receiving, the other dog sat up and shoved its nose under my hand. I scratched its ears while still petting Clyde.

  "And that's Bonnie. She's usually a little shyer, but she seems to like you.

  "You never did tell me - whose dogs are these?" I asked, continuing my ministrations. They weren't so bad, now that they weren't hurling themselves against the glass with bared teeth.

  "Danny's. I'm watching them for a few days while he's out of town."

  I stopped the petting and looked up. "Our Danny? Danny DeLorenzo?"

  She nodded.

  I straightened slowly, and tried to keep the incredulity out of my voice. "You're dog sitting? For Danny? You?"

  "Yes, me." She gave me an annoyed look. "Don't act so surprised."

  "I'm…" I almost said I'm not, but I was. Very surprised. I just didn't seem like something Liz would do. "I'm sorry, I just didn't know you liked dogs."

  She gave me a pointed look, knowing that wasn't why I was surprised, but let it go. "Come on." She stood quickly, and the dogs scrambled up, clawing the top of my foot in the process. "Let's sit outside - there'll be some shade by now."

  I picked up the bag and limped after her, smiling along with her when she opened the door and both dogs pelted down the steps and onto the lawn, growling at each other playfully.

  We followed at a more dignified pace, strolling around a long, skinny pool where I knew Liz did laps every morning and settling into padded metal gliding chairs under a looming Chinese Pistache tree. One of the dogs came jogging up, a beat-up plastic buoy hanging from a tattered rope in his mouth. I watched in amazement as Liz took the toy and chucked it into the pool, and both dogs followed it in with a gigantic splash.

  There were so many things off about this picture, I didn't know where to start. Liz taking care of someone's pets. Liz obviously enjoying taking care of someone's pets. Liz touching a ratty toy that had been drooled on, chewed on, buried and dug up again. Liz tossing said ratty toy into her pool, and laughing when hairy animals jumped into the pool - where she swam - to retrieve it. It was just so…not Liz.

  I shook my head and wondered what was going on.

  Both dogs had a hold of the buoy now and were tugging in opposite directions, neither willing to give it up, and none of their splashing getting them anywhere near the end of the pool where the steps were to get out.

  Liz was smiling fondly, not looking overly concerned that the two looked tenacious enough to keep it up until one of them drowned, so I shrugged and dug around in the bag, pulling out a bottle of wine and an ashtray.

  "For your collection." I handed her the ashtray, and she took it and turned the heavy smoked glass over in her hands with a delighted smile. She ran her fingers over the hotel logo inside the dish and frowned, rubbing her fingers together and then holding them up to show me small black smudges of ash.

  "Ew, Caid, it's been used. Were you smoking?"

  "Crap - sorry about that, I didn't even think to check. No, I wasn't smoking…I'll have you know I went through great lengths to get that for you - they don't sell them at the hotel shop."

  "So you got this one how? Stole it from someone's room?"

  "Mmm, sort of," I took the ashtray from her, pulled up a handful of grass, and used it to wipe the glass clean before handing it back to her. "I talked a maid out of one."

  She raised her eyebrows. "You?"

  "I can be very persuasive."

  "Uh-huh."

  I reached for the ashtray again. "Well, if you don't want it…"

  "Ah-ah-ah…" she held it away from me. "I never said that. I was just concerned that it was previously used."

  "That's what people do with ashtrays, Liz - they put out cigarettes in them. The fact that it's used just makes it more authentic. The lead singer of the Black Dolls was staying at the hotel while I was there…maybe it was hers."

  "The lead singer of who?"

  "Yeah, I hadn't heard of them either. But apparently they're very big in certain circles."

  "Uh-huh."

  "And it's very possible that that ashtray was used by the lead singer."

  "Uh-huh."

  I gave her a look. "Now is typically the time in the receiving of a gift where the recipient, that would be you," I pointed to her, "tells the giver," I tapped my chest, "that would be me, in this case, 'oh, thank you so much for making the special effort to get this lovely, famous-in-certain-circles-used ashtray for me.'"

  She laughed, and placed the ashtray on the table between us. "Thank you, Caid, for getting this for me. It's really quite lovely, and will fit nicely into my collection."

  "You're welcome." I smiled slightly.

  She looked down at the wine. "And what's this?"

  "Ah that." I picked it up and looked at it for a moment before handing it to her. "Did you know there's 'wine country' in New York? I had no idea. Anyway, it's a late harvest Riesling from a little winery in the Finger Lakes that Josh recommended. Well, actually his dad recommended it. He says it's a very nice dessert wine."

  She looked at the bottle, and then up at me, the ghost of a frown on her face. "Josh's dad? As in Josh Riley? The Josh Riley that you swore you weren't involved with?" She lowered the bottle. "You met his father?"

  I sighed. "Yes, that Josh Riley. And I'm still not involved with him, and no, I didn't meet his father. Josh just told me his dad liked this wine, so I looked around for it and bought some. Again, you're welcome."

  "I'm sorry Caid, I just…" We both yelped as we were hit by a shower of water from the two dogs who'd returned from the pool and were shaking off excess water. "Ahh…damn." She wiped her face and flicked the excess water off, laughing. "I hate when they do that. Come'ere, Bonnie." One of the dogs trotted over to Liz and dropped the wet, slimy buoy in her lap. "That's a good girl…"

  I watched for a moment and then threw up my hands. "Alright, Stokley, what's up?" I demanded, unable to keep quiet anymore. "A wet dog just dropped a drooly plastic toy in your lap, and you're laughing? Who are you and what have you done with Liz?"

  She set down the wine bottle and rubbed Bonnie's ears, looking up at me. "I like these dogs, is that a crime?"

  "No, it's not a crime, it's just…weird. Come on…when Jules brought her dog onto the set last time, you wouldn't even be in the same room, said it was dirty or smelly..."

  "Because it was dirty and smelly. I swear she'd just walked that dog in a cow pasture. And it was out of control - did you see him take off across the parking lot after the squirrel? And I was wearing white for god's sakes - it was a black lab!" She gave Bonnie's ears a final scratch and threw the buoy into the pool again, sending both dogs barking after it. "These dogs are sweet, well behaved, and don't smell. I like them." She leaned back in her chair and pushed it back and forth a few times, watching the dogs. "And I like their owner, too."

  "Well, hell, Liz, I like Danny too, but I don't know that I'd let his two huge dogs invade my house…" Liz looked over at me pointedly, and my eyes widened.

  "Oh." I blinked. "Oh! You mean…like him, like him." I b
linked again and settled back in my chair. "No shit. You and Danny?"

  She looked across the lawn, then back at me and smiled softly. "Yeah, me and Danny."

  It wasn't a pairing I would have predicted, but it somehow fit. Danny was loud and occasionally obnoxious, but he was also one of the sweetest men I'd ever met, and Liz's cool exterior held a surprisingly fragile and sometimes insecure woman who could use someone being sweet to her.

  I smiled hugely, and reached over to smack her on the leg. "You little vixen. I think that's great."

  She gave me a relieved smile. "Really?"

  "Yes, really. I think Danny's a great guy. When did all this happen?"

  She laughed a little. "Actually, it all started the night of Danny's party…when you didn't show up and we called and you said you'd crashed? The way Robyn flew out of there like you were dying or something...it made me feel pretty shitty about myself when I hadn't done anything…" She shook her head at the memory and then smiled slightly. "I was all ready to call Walter and charge over to your house like some…I don't know…whatever Robyn was trying to be, but Danny talked me out of it, saying Robyn could handle it, and that she'd let us know if there was something seriously wrong…anyway, the two of us proceeded to get drunk as cooters, and I fell asleep on his bed…"

  "Why, Liz Ann." I touched a hand to my chest in mock shock. "You are a vixen. A drunken night in Danny DeLorenzo's bed? I'm scandalized!"

  She frowned at me, without any real censure. "Nothing happened, Caid. Get your head out of the gutter," she said primly, and I held up my hands in apology. "We spent the next morning together - neither of us was due in the city to shoot until after noon - I helped him clean up, we hung around the pool…" She smiled a satisfied smile that was much more like the Liz I knew. "Then things happened."

  That would have been the day after my accident, when they'd brought over pizza. There had been nearly another two weeks of shooting and seeing both of them every day, our dinner at Crustacean, and the many other times I'd seen or talked to her since. And Liz had kept it to herself the entire time.

  More completely non-Liz behavior.

  "Damn, Liz, that was more than a month and half ago. You two have kept it quiet this whole time?"

  "Well…" she brushed ineffectually at a wet spot on the leg of her cream-colored capris. "It hasn't been that whole time. We both felt a little weird about it at first, and didn't see each other for a while, but we've worked it out…" Her smile was reflexive and one of the happiest I'd seen grace her face in the whole time I'd known her. "And now everything is…wonderful."

  I smiled back, genuinely happy for her, and leaned forward to squeeze her arm. "I'm happy for you, Liz. It looks really good on you. Danny's a lucky guy."

  She tilted her head back and laughed. "I don't know about that…but he's being very patient with my…quirks, and I'm trying to be patient with his, and in between all that, we're having a splendid time together."

  "I'm glad. And now I know the secret you were keeping from me at dinner the other night. Danny is who has you in such good spirits." I relaxed back in my chair. "Who'd a thunk it?"

  "No one at the moment, and we'd like to keep it that way for a while, Caid, okay? It'll probably get a lot of attention from the press, and we just want some time without that, you know?"

  I snorted a little. "I've been recently indoctrinated into what a feeding frenzy like that can be like, and I don't blame you one bit. I'll keep your good news to myself, I promise."

  "Uh-huh…" She paused. "About that, Caid…Now that I've spilled my secret, why don't you come clean with yours?" She picked up the wine bottle and brushed her thumb across the label as she studied it, then looked at me and cocked her head to the side. "What's really going on between you and Josh?"

  "Liz…" I shook my head in exasperation.

  "Caid, just wait. Hear me out, okay?" I quieted, and with exaggerated politeness, gestured for her to continue. "I know you're not romantically involved with Josh. I know you - fairly well, I think - and you're just too damn nice to do something like that to Robyn." She smiled ironically. "Kind of funny, that - you've been painted as the bitch in this, and you're by far the nicest of the three of you. And the most innocent."

  "Yeah," I muttered, "real funny, that." I frowned. "Innocent?"

  "Yes, innocent." The dogs came running up again but Liz stopped them and had them lie down before they got close enough to give us another shower. When she'd dealt with them, she turned back to me. "Josh and Robyn both know how to work the system. They're not darlings of the press by accident, Caid - no one ever gets that much good press by accident." She set the wine down and gave me an affectionate smile. "You, on the other hand, are just…you. You say what you mean, you do what you want, not thinking about how you're perceived, because you just don't think that way. People think you're manipulative, Caid, because you're not. " She waved a hand. "Anyway, that's beside the point."

  My frown deepened. "And what, exactly, is your point?"

  "My point is this. You may not be involved with Josh Riley now, but that doesn't mean you don't want to be. I think you have feelings for him - I saw something between you two at dinner that night - but you're so damn noble you'll never do anything about it and you're going to end up getting hurt. I think you need to remove yourself from the situation, and get as far away from Robyn and Josh as possible."

  "That's what you think, hmm?"

  "Yes, that's what I think."

  "Interesting theory."

  When I didn't elaborate, she made a tiny noise of frustration. "Am I close?"

  "No, not really. But I give you an A for effort, and I appreciate your concern."

  In what I thought was rather freakish timing, my cell phone started ringing, and I held up a hand to forestall whatever tantrum Liz was about to throw. I checked the display, and couldn't hide the smile of pleasure I felt spread across my face. I stood and walked away a few yards before answering.

  "Hey."

  "Hey yourself," came the raspy reply. "Did you know that I had a miscarriage because you're sleeping with my boyfriend? You bitch." She was eating something crunchy, and I heard voices in the background, along with intermittent beeping.

  Robyn and I had talked daily since I'd returned from New York, never really getting into anything serious, just talking about our days and getting to know each other better since we'd sort of skipped that step in our relationship. As we'd become more comfortable with each other, I'd found out that she was adorably goofy at times, and had a somewhat twisted sense of humor.

  I laughed. "Yes, I think I read that somewhere. Where are you? Did they let you out of the asylum?"

  "In line at the grocery store. We had a break, and I had a craving for potato chips."

  "You're just standing in line in the grocery store, eating potato chips, and no one's bothering you?"

  "Uh-huh." More crunching, and a swallow. "I'm in disguise. One sec." I listened with an absent smile as she interacted with the cashier, paying for her items and making the woman laugh about something. "Ok, I'm back," she said eventually around more crunching. "Whatcha doing?"

  "I'm at Liz's. I had some gifts for her, and we've just been…chatting."

  "Oh, well, tell her hi."

  I heard a splash, and looked over to see Liz had gotten up and was tossing the buoy to the dogs again, the expression on her face clearly annoyed. "I don't think that's such a good idea at the moment…"

  She stopped crunching. "Caid, what's wrong?"

  I smiled at the concern in her voice. "Nothing. Liz has just finished telling me that since I obviously have a thing for Josh, I should stay away from both of you."

  "You have a thing for Josh? And just when were you going to tell me about this?"

  "Ha, ha." I said sarcastically, and she laughed and bit down on a particularly crunchy chip.

  "You know, Caid, it's okay with me if you tell her," she said after swallowing.

  "It is? I thought we were still in stealth
mode."

  "Well, I'd rather not announce it in a full page ad in the New York Times, but I know it can make things…difficult…when you can't be honest with someone. I told Josh right away, remember?"

  "Yeah…"

  "I'm not telling you what to do, Caid, I'm just telling you it's okay. Okay?"

  "Okay," I agreed, looking over at Liz thoughtfully. She looked back and I smiled, but she didn't return the smile, instead throwing the buoy with added viciousness across the pool. Yeah, maybe it was time to have a talk with Liz.

  "So," Robyn's voice pulled me from my musings. "You're probably wondering why I'm calling in the middle of the day?"