My Little Secret

by Anna J.

  When I pull into the parking area, there are two spots close to the building. I suggest we park there because I know, just like in my building, Nevaeh won’t be able to see the cars from her window. I have a rental she wouldn’t recognize, but I’m sure she’ll remember Midori’s car, since she was driving the same car we saw when we met them at the restaurant that night. I don’t want to take any chances.

  I use the key she gave me a while ago to get into the building and am upstairs in no time. Midori suggests I call Nevaeh to see where she is in the house and to just talk to her while she handles her business. I walk down the hallway some, so she won’t hear me on the phone while I watch Midori work.

  I’m talking some ol’ slick shit to her, getting her panties wet and all that, and at the same time I’m in awe of how shiesty and sneaky Midori is. She starts with the tube of Krazy Glue, and squeezed the entire tube into the locks on the door and the doorknob, using a small fan on her key chain to dry the glue faster. She then takes the Gorilla Glue and lines the entire outside of the door where the frame and the door meet. Once I dig what she’s doing, I have to smile at her genius.

  Nevaeh won’t be coming out until the morning, and the package says the glue is quick-drying, so it’ll be completely dry in the morning. It’s hilarious because she won’t be able to open the door, and she was just telling me that she has to fly out to Paris for a fashion show tomorrow. Guess she’ll have to climb out the window, never mind she lives seven stories up from the ground.

  As soon as Midori gets done and has all of the evidence bagged up, we make our trip back to Philly, with me leading the way in my car. Midori and I never got the chance to really talk the other day after we saw how Nevaeh messed up my condo, but I know whatever it is has to be said. Once we get back to the city I think she’ll keep going to her home, but I see through my rearview that she gets off behind me, and is following me to my house.

  I pull up close to my building and wait for her to pull up beside me. When she gets out, she gets in my car and pulls out an envelope. I wait for her to say something because I don’t remember sending her anything. She empties the contents of the envelope into my lap and looks straight ahead.

  There are pictures, tons of them, of us in all kinds of compromising situations. There are pictures of us in my place and some we took of each other when we were out of town. After a while I start looking at the angles in which the pictures were taken and the view appears to be coming from where my dresser sits. Was my place bugged? I thought maybe Nevaeh was a little crazy, but now I know for certain that her elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top.

  She had to have dipped in my personal stash as well, because some of the pictures were from Punta Cana when we stayed at the Iberostar Resort. We enjoyed ourselves all over that suite and took exotic pictures of each other that I looked at for weeks once we got home. Hell, a lot of the photos were the key point of my many masturbation sessions. I kept them in a wood box under my bed, and Nevaeh’s jealous ass must have found them. I know one of the trips was around Nevaeh’s birthday and she was mad because I wouldn’t be spending her day with her.

  All I can do is flip through the pictures and sigh. What was I thinking, fooling around with her? I want to apologize to Midori, but I can’t get my mouth to say anything.

  “Those were sent to my husband,” she says in a sad tone.

  I don’t know for sure how to take it. Is she upset because we did what we did, or was it because her husband found out?

  “Midori, I didn’t send these pictures to him.” I try to apologize, not really knowing what to say.

  “I know that, but there’s a lot going on right now. I think I need some time to get my head together and figure out my situation. I don’t want to lose you as a friend, but I just don’t know what to do right now.”

  “Hey, take all the time you need. I understand.”

  We look into each other’s eyes for what feels like the last time. We both have some straightening out to do in our lives, and we need time to do that.

  She takes my hand into hers and squeezes it tight before getting out and driving off in her own car.

  I’m glad we did what we did to Nevaeh, and I smile as I walk up to my condo and begin to look for any hidden cameras she may have forgotten to take out.

  I don’t have any business messing around with Midori anyway, and if I’m going to have her, I don’t want to have to share her with anyone. Besides all that, I have a book I need to finish. I guess now I have plenty of time to do it.

  Smoke

  Midori

  When I get home Ray is there and gives me the third degree on why I’m late. He claims that he wanted us to go out with some people from the office, but how does he think I would even consider that, after the embarrassment of what happened with Barbara? I try to ignore him and just go ahead and make dinner, but he is seriously talking out the side of his mouth and is about to catch this frying pan upside his head.

  “I need you to come to the office and take a pregnancy test. You should have been pregnant by now.”

  I stop in the middle of cutting up boneless chicken breast to look him in the face. Is he serious? I want to take the very knife I am cutting with and poke him in the damn heart with it. He’s taking things too damn far. Now I was trying to be compromising even though he’s been acting like a fool lately, and even though his ass stepped out too. But he has to think I was born yesterday, if he thought I was going through with that shit.

  “Ray, have you lost your damn mind? I’m not coming down there to do shit. It’ll happen when it’s supposed to.”

  “If you don’t come to the office, I’ll have someone come here. You decide which one you want it to be.”

  “You heard what I said. I’m not doing either.”

  “Why? Are you taking birth control? Or did that dike bitch knock your insides loose so you can’t carry any kids?”

  For the second time that night I am stunned into silence. He’s really testing me, and I have to close my eyes for a second and take a deep breath.

  When I look up, he has a stupid little smirk on his face like he won the damn discussion. I will take so much pleasure in bursting his damn bubble. This entire situation is working my nerves. I mean, we’ve been through shit before and have gotten past it, but this is just lingering on too long for my liking.

  “Do you know how stupid you sound right now? And you call yourself a doctor.” I laugh out loud more to myself than at him. “That same dike bitch you’re talking about, you wanted to lay, remember? You wanted me to talk her into having a threesome after we had dinner at the restaurant, remember? I guess old wrinkled-ass Barbara wasn’t enough.”

  Before I can blink, Ray is in my face, his hands wrapped around my neck, choking the life out of me.

  I grip the knife tighter, contemplating stabbing his ass with it, but decide it isn’t worth it, instead opting to punch him as hard as I can. He lets me go long enough for me to plant my knee in his groin and run around to the other side of the counter.

  “Midori, I’m sorry,” he pleads with me, trying to catch his breath.

  I’m seeing red, and I know I have to get out of this kitchen before I do something I would regret.

  “Stay the fuck away from me!”

  I turn and run upstairs locking myself in the room. Throwing myself on the bed, I cry and cry, not believing this shit is happening to me. I should have just stayed at Jaydah’s house, but I was confused about that situation too, and that would have just made this situation worse. I want to call her, but my cell phone is in my pocketbook downstairs, and I can’t remember her number at the moment. Besides, what would I say to her? “My husband is beating my ass and trying to get me pregnant to keep me away from you?” I move to the middle of the bed and curl up in a fetal position, trying to rock myself to sleep.

  A while later I can hear Ray testing the doorknob to get in the room, and I sit up completely in the bed. The only thing in the room I have to defend myse
lf with is Ray’s gun, and I’m not trying to go there. I search the room for some kind of weapon and realize I’m stuck.

  “Midori, I’m sorry. Can we please talk?”

  “Say what you gotta say through the door and then leave. I can’t do this shit anymore.”

  “Midori, please. Let me sit down and talk to you.”

  “Sit your ass on the floor, if you feel the need to be sitting. I’m tired of this shit. How do you expect me to carry a baby under this kind of stress?”

  “Baby, I know. Please, just let me explain.”

  I am now balled up in the bed again crying my heart out. Is this what happens when you get married out of necessity? I get my head together while I listen to him feed me more bullshit. I get my luggage set out of the closet. I begin with his shirts and start to neatly pack his shit up a piece at a time. I know he’ll be mad about his clothes being folded, especially since he got everything starched so it would stay straight, but I don’t care. I need some peace, by any means necessary.

  I pack him enough stuff in four large suitcases to last him over a month. I take the liberty of cleaning all of his toiletries and stuff and packing them neatly in the outside pockets of his luggage so as not to mess up his clothes, and then I line up the bags at the bedroom door. He’s been talking for so long I know he has to be hoarse, and I hope that was the case, because then maybe he’ll shut up.

  I’m confused and don’t know what to do. One minute I want to be with Jaydah, and the next minute I want to be here. I just need time by myself to clear up my situation in my head.

  Taking a deep breath, I go and open the bedroom door to find Ray sitting on the floor leaned against it. He falls backwards into the room, and I resist the urge to stomp him in his chest while he’s flat on his back. Walking away from him, I climb back into the bed, gripping the spiked heel shoe I have under the covers tightly just in case I have to use it.

  Ray looks from the luggage to me and back again with a puzzled look on his face. I knew he would think that was my shit packed up, and that’s why I chose my luggage instead. He looks like he’s trying to formulate a speech in his head on why I should stay, but little does he know, I’m not the one who’ll be leaving.

  “Midori, let’s talk about this,” he says, approaching the bed. Seeing the fear in my face, he stops just shy of the foot of the bed and tries to reason with me. “Midori, please don’t go. We can work this out. I’ve just been so tense lately, but we can fix this. I’ll do whatever you want me to do.”

  “I’m not going anywhere, Ray.”

  “Then why do you have your bags packed?”

  “That’s your stuff. Just take it and go.”

  “But Midori, we need to—”

  “Take your stuff and go, Ray. I need time.”

  “You are not going to do this to me,” he says, coming around the bed and sitting on the side of me.

  I grip the shoe even tighter, just in case I have to bust him in the eye or some shit. I know I can’t beat him. But I’ll die trying.

  “Ray, we need some time apart.”

  “For how long?” He pleads with me with tears running down his face.

  Normally the tears would make me re-think my decision, but this time around I can’t take it. “I don’t know, Ray. I just need to get my head together.”

  “Are you trying to divorce me, Midori? Huh?”

  I don’t know how to even answer the question because I’m not sure. I just know I don’t want to be in the shit that I’m currently in. I’m tired of talking about it, tired of living in fear, and tired of having to watch my back. Ray is getting to be more abusive by the day, and what if the next time he actually kills me? Am I really willing to risk it?

  “Ray, I just need some time to think.”

  “Why can’t you think with me here? I’ll stay in the guest room. I’ll stay out of your way.”

  I think about it for a second, and I know he won’t leave willingly. Maybe the guest room isn’t a bad idea, but how long would he stay in there? Maybe if I lay down some ground rules or something. After all, he did buy this house. I can hear everything on me telling his ass to leave, but my mouth decides not to listen.

  “Take all of that stuff with you then. You can stay, but you have to give me my space. I’ll let you know when I’m ready to talk, so don’t keep badgering me.”

  “But, Midori. I—”

  “Or you can leave now.”

  He looks defeated, but decides to comply. I think partly because he knows I would change the shit out of those locks the very moment he rolls out.

  It takes him two trips, but he gets the suitcases and moves into the guest room down the hall. I can hear him cursing because I folded his clothes up, but I don’t care. As long as he stays his ass down there, I’m cool.

  I know I want out. I just have to get my shit together so I can roll. The thing is, moving to Jaydah’s would be a bad move too, and I know I have to fall back from her as well, if I truly want to get my shit together. She understands that, or so I hope. I’ll just have to wait and see how it all goes down in the end.

  If I Had My Way

  Jaydah

  I’m kicking it with Nevaeh again. Oh, and I know what you’re thinking, but it’s not like that. It’s been a while since that night we glued her ass into her place, but I still want revenge. I want her to think we’re cool, so when I really get her ass back, she will feel the sting. It’s working too, because her simple ass went and dropped the restraining order and everything. I told her I had dropped mine too, and she never asked for any paperwork, so I just kept the lie going.

  It took her a while to get over the stunt me and Midori pulled on her, though, because even though the door opens from the inside, Midori had glued the seal shut so that she couldn’t open it up without tearing the door from its hinges. By the time maintenance showed up they had to knock the door down completely and rebuild the frame before putting another door up. She was even more pissed when she found out she would be getting charged for the damages. She couldn’t leave until they finished, causing her to miss her flight and ultimately her photo shoot, and she was definitely pissed about that.

  I miss the hell out of Midori, but I know what she has to do and I know I have to let her do it. So many nights I’ve wanted to call her up just to hear her voice, but I know that wouldn’t be the right thing to do. She did ask me for space, and as her friend first, I owe her that.

  I saw her husband at an art exhibit Nevaeh and I attended, and he smiled and spoke like he didn’t know I was the one handling his wife for all these years. I guess because he was there with another woman, but she could have easily been family, so I stayed out of it.

  They were giving out glasses of wine as we walked around, and I noticed the more wine he and his guest drank, the more free they got with their touching, confirming my initial thought. He’s stepping out on Midori again. Nevaeh tried to be on some cuddled-up, holding-hands shit, but wasn’t nothing going down. I really didn’t get down with her like that, and it was strictly business.

  I was more so concentrating on staying close to Ray and his date, a couple of times snapping a few pictures of their asses in some compromising positions. Since this dude liked spreading pictures, I had something for his ass. I had something for Nevaeh as well, because I know she was the one who dipped on my stash and gave him the photos. It’s funny because I had some of her in there also. I wonder why she didn’t pull those out.

  By the time we were done walking the exhibit, I got a chance to meet the host and stand around and talk for a while. She went by the name of Monica, no last name, and her art was breathtaking. She was cool as shit too, telling me that she was originally from Philly, but had moved to Atlanta a while ago. We got into a nice conversation, and I found out that she had a son here in Philly who she was trying to visit while she was here. I just assumed that her son was in college, even though she didn’t look a day over thirty, but she cleared that right up by letting me know that her son w
as only two and that she was concerned because she hadn’t heard from his guardians in a while.

  She was so down-to-earth, and I found myself captivated by the shape of her mouth. She was petite and chocolate, just the way I like them. Family recognizes family, and something was telling me that she got down just like I did. I was truly enjoying our talk, until Nevaeh walked up with her jealous-ass self. I excused myself from Monica to go tend to her, but not before she slipped me her card and mouthed the words, “Call me.” She was the shit, and I knew I might have to make it my business to visit the ATL, if that’s how they were breeding them out there.

  On the ride home, Nevaeh was acting all sour and shit, like something was wrong with her, and I tried my best to ignore her because I was anxious to download these pictures into my printer so I could show Midori when the time was right. Nevaeh was messing up my concentration though, sighing at every light and turning the volume on the radio up and down. I wanted to backhand her ass, but the last time I hit her I got locked up.

  “Was she better looking than me?” Nevaeh finally asked me when I pulled up to my door.

  I gave her a look that said, “Don’t make me turn my damn car around and drive you back to Jersey,” but she looked at me like she could care less what I thought.

  “What are you talking about, Nevaeh? Is who better looking than you?” I replied, trying to act like I didn’t know exactly what she was talking about. You couldn’t miss Monica in that room even if you were blind, but I didn’t even know that chick to be sitting here getting in an argument about the shit.

  “Oh, so now you gonna try to act like I’m the crazy one?” she said before getting out and slamming my car door so hard I thought my window would shatter.