90 Days (Prairie Town Book 2)

by Ridener, T. E.

“It’s all right, Laney. You can tell me.”

  “It’s…bad.” Laney confessed as more tears began to fall. Her vision blurred and she couldn’t even see her lap. The ache in her chest grew prominent as she lifted a sleeved hand to wipe at her eyes. “I…I don’t know why I did it.”

  “What did you do?”

  “I went into the bathroom and I found my dad’s razors—the ones he uses in the morning to shave his face.”

  “Go on.”

  “I l-locked the door and pulled up my sleeve, but I was too scared to do it. I was afraid I’d cut too deep and that I’d bleed to death.”

  “So you cut yourself somewhere else?”

  “Yes. On my leg. But it wasn’t deep. It hurt so much and I don’t even like pain. I don’t know why I did it. I’m stupid!”

  “No, you’re not stupid, Laney. You’re hurting. You’ve got stuff going on in your head that you don’t know how to deal with. Your mother has put a lot of pressure on you since Lydia left. Isn’t that right?”

  “Yes. She wants me to be perfect and I’m not. I’m not!” She cried, letting her frustrations surface. “I’m just me. I can’t be what she wants. I’m just Laney!”

  “Shhh. It’s okay, Laney. Calm down.” Doctor Rykerman stood from her chair and reached out to touch her trembling shoulder. “You’re just Laney and that’s all we want. But I have to help you get better before you can go home. Do you understand?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good. Let’s talk about alternative ways to release our anger, okay?”

  Fast-forwarding through the memory, Laney released a small, trembling breath and realized her cheeks were wet.

  Still in the solace of her room, she allowed the dam to break for what seemed to be the millionth time in only a few weeks.

  “What was I thinking?” She wondered aloud as she sniffled. “I can’t do this. I can’t act…normal.”

  Glancing towards the top drawer of her dresser, she contemplated her next move.

  She knew what was in that drawer. Her medication, for starters. Lydia didn’t know about the medicine, but it kept her balanced and happy, well, happy enough, on most days. She needed those pills to keep her on the right track.

  But there was also a joint in that drawer, waiting and ready to be smoked when she felt that things were becoming too difficult. Benji had given it to her during his last visit and there was a part of her—the stupid, sentimental part— that wanted to save it forever.

  “Think of me when you smoke it.” He’d said.

  The only issue was, she didn’t need to smoke a joint to have him on her mind.

  She thought about him a lot.

  And she knew she was crazy for doing that. He could never possibly want someone as damaged and unstable as her.

  But he smiled at me tonight. A lot.

  Surely that meant something? He’d always been so kind to her. They always gazed at one another for one second longer than intended, and when he hugged her, he lingered there for a little longer than usual.

  It did mean something, didn’t it?

  I’m fooling myself. I don’t even deserve someone like Benji.

  Muttering to herself in frustration, Laney stood from her bed and dragged her feet across the floor until she got to the drawer. At least she could have a few hours of silence and a much needed opportunity to rest.

  Tomorrow will be a better day, she decided. Clean slate, fresh start.

  Hopefully all of the bad feelings would be gone by then and she could go back to normal. She needed to get her act together, especially now that Benji and Aggie were around, but more so because of her sister.

  The last thing she wanted was for Lydia to see the part of her she tried so hard to hide. Telling her the truth was one thing, but letting her witness that side of her personality? No. Absolutely not.

  A light knock on her door sounded like a gun going off, at least in Laney’s mind, and she quickly whirled around to stare at it as if it was a foreign object.

  Maybe her plan for everyone to be distracted with Jeb wasn’t going to work after all.

  “Yes?”

  “Laney?”

  It was Benji.

  Oh, God. It was Benji.

  “Um…yes?” She tiptoed towards the door and carefully leaned against it, biting her lip.

  “Hey. Uh, you disappeared from the table. Everything okay?”

  Lie, her mind pleaded.

  “Yeah, just not feeling too hot. I was thinking of taking a nap.”

  “Oh.”

  Was he disappointed? He sounded disappointed.

  Maybe he really does want to see me.

  “Ags and I are going to crash in the living room tonight. I just thought I’d let you know so you didn’t freak out after the lights go out.”

  Freak out? Her heart did a backflip as she imagined bumping into him in the hallway in the dark, how it would feel as his hand brushed against hers…

  “That’s fine.” Her voice cracked and she quickly regained her composure. Calm and steady. Cool and smooth. Not too desperate. “I promise not to trip over you or anything.”

  He laughed that adorable laugh and she couldn’t help but smile. She wanted nothing more than to open the door and hug him.

  She wanted to feel his arms around her.

  She wanted to feel safe.

  But she couldn’t. Her mind wasn’t strong enough for it.

  Maybe it never would be.

  “Well, okay then. Goodnight, Laney. Feel better.”

  “Thanks, Benji. Night.” Her fingers traced over the smooth surface of the door and she closed her eyes, listening to his retreating footsteps as laughter sounded from the kitchen.

  I’m sorry, Benji. You don’t want to deal with a mess like me.

  It was with that thought that she collapsed against her bed and cried herself to sleep.

  Chapter 5

  Lydia

  It had been a month since her sister’s confession about her past and there were no signs of improvement. Laney was still acting strange, even though she tried to hide it, and Lydia was becoming increasingly worried about her.

  It was distracting her from the wedding plans she knew she needed to get organized, but what else was she supposed to do? Her sister wasn’t something she could put on hold until after saying ‘I do’. Laney needed her and Lydia wanted to be there for her.

  But how can I be there for her when she obviously doesn’t want me to be?

  Anytime Lydia tried to bring it up, Laney became defensive. It was a side of her sister, she’d never seen before. When they were kids Laney had told her everything. They never hid anything from one another, but maybe that’s what Lydia got for leaving in the first place.

  Her guilt was eating at her now more than ever before. She couldn’t help but feel somehow responsible for Laney’s downward spiral.

  “Are you thinking about it again?” Callum asked as he wrapped his arms around her from behind.

  Dropping a partially filled out wedding invitation onto the counter, she closed her eyes and nodded.

  “And she’s still avoiding it, huh?” He kissed her cheek and ran his hand up and down her arm in a comforting manner.

  “Of course not. She’s stubborn. Or maybe I’m just too nosy. Should I stop talking about it?”

  “You’re just being a concerned sister, Lydia. There’s nothing wrong with that. One day she’ll thank you for it.”

  “Or push me away.” She frowned. That thought bothered her so much. The last thing she ever wanted was for Laney to push her away. Life wasn’t supposed to be so complicated anymore; she’d gotten everything she could ever want. Why couldn’t her sister just be okay?

  That’s a stupid, selfish thought.

  “I don’t know what to do, Callum.” She confessed sadly. “I love her so much. What if something bad happens?”

  “Do you think it’s gotten to that level? Has she given you a reason to feel like this, or is it just your sisterly protectiveness kicki
ng in?”

  “I don’t know. Jeb doesn’t seem too worried about it, but he’s been acting weird lately. I want to talk to my parents about it, but Laney would never forgive me. I can’t believe they just locked her up in that place for two months. Who does that?”

  “The mind is a fragile thing, sweetheart. They probably thought it was for the best.”

  Even though she said she wouldn’t tell him, Lydia eventually broke down and told Callum what was going on with her sister. It was just too much to keep in. She needed his support—and his cuddles.

  The pressure of a perfect wedding was getting to her and the thought of inviting practically the whole town to attend was really getting the best of her; she was afraid someone would put the pieces together and figure out her past. The last thing any of them needed was some sort of protest about the girl who used to be a boy getting married to another boy.

  She loathed the fact it would even matter, but they did live in the south. Unfortunately, most places around them were still stuck in the dark ages. What if someone really did find out the truth? What if they tried to sabotage her wedding or run her out of town?

  It was one of her biggest fears and something she prayed wouldn’t happen. For the first time in her life she felt complete in every way possible. Her friends were finally her neighbors and her family whole; Callum had given her everything she could ever want. It was too easy for someone to rip it away.

  Chewing on her thumbnail anxiously, she peered at her fiancé and calmed slightly from the warm smile he gave her.

  “You know what I think, babe?”

  “What?” She asked, genuinely interested in his opinion.

  “I think…”—he pushed all the invitations into a small pile and reached for her hand, pulling it away from her lips before lifting it to his own and kissing her knuckles—“you need to take the night off. No wedding stuff, okay? No Laney stuff. Just you, me, and a bottle of wine. How about that?”

  “Oh, I wish.” She whined, pouting. “I’ve got so much to do, Callum. We’ve only got a few weeks to get these invitations out and then I have to get a head count for everybody actually attending the wedding. We still have to go over the catering and fittings and—”

  “Not tonight.” He whispered huskily, pulling her up from her seat and wrapping his arms around her. Dipping his head, he placed a soft kiss against her lips—a sure fire way to keep her quiet.

  Finally giving in, she kissed him back and slid her arms around his neck.

  “I guess I can take the night off.” She murmured against his mouth, sighing as his tongue traced over her bottom lip.

  “That’s my girl.” He grinned, scooping her up from the floor and holding her close. “I think we should seriously consider rehearsing our wedding night. That’s a pretty important night, too.”

  Her skin heated up and a smile slid across her lips as he carried her to his bedroom. Having two parents who were always taking spontaneous road trips really worked out in their favor.

  “I agree, Mr. Reynolds.”

  “Good, Soon-to-be Mrs. Reynolds. Because I’ve got the perfect way to get that stress out of your system.”

  “Is that so?” She giggled.

  He kicked his bedroom door open with a heavy boot and carried her inside, growling playfully as he attacked the side of her neck with kisses.

  “Very so, sweetheart. I’ll work all that tension out of your muscles.”

  “Oh, please do.” She gasped, falling against the mattress and gazing up at him. Her heart raced as he slowly began unbuttoning his shirt, revealing what God gave him inch by agonizingly slow inch. “The gym has been so good to you.”

  “It has,” he agreed in his beautiful deep southern drawl. “But I prefer this type of workout.”

  “I bet you do.” She laughed, pulling her shirt off and carelessly tossing it aside. “Get over here.”

  “Patience, grasshopper.” He wiggled his eyebrows and slowly unbuckled his belt, his eyes never leaving hers. God, the love in his eyes was astounding.

  Mine.

  She bit her lip and crawled forward, kissing his stomach and groaning from the taste of his skin. He sighed in appreciation and touched the side of her face, fingers caressing her jaw as she slid her tongue forward to lick beneath his belly button.

  “I thought I said tonight was about relieving your stress.” He whispered, tangling his fingers in her hair. “But this sort of looks like something else.”

  “You can relieve my stress.” She purred, carefully lifting a hand to pop open the front of his jeans. Gripping the zipper delicately, she tugged it downward, eyeing her prize as it came into view. “Commando again?”

  “You seemed to enjoy it a lot last time.”

  “Mm, I did. I do.” She wrapped her fingers around him, stroking slowly and with precision. “I suppose that’s why I didn’t wear anything under my skirt today.”

  “God, Lydia.” He groaned, closing his eyes. “You’re just trying to kill me, aren’t you?”

  “Maybe.” She smiled deviously and leaned in again, wrapping her lips around the tip of him. He shuddered and tightened his grip on her hair, but he never pulled.

  “Christ, Baby. That feels so good.”

  “Mhm.” She hummed, knowing the vibrations would do wonderful things to him. She wanted to do wonderful things to him, and for him, always. That was the most beautiful part of their relationship; it was never give or take. It was fifty-fifty. It was incredible.

  It wasn’t long before Callum’s labored breathing became the only sound she could hear and then his orgasm washed over him.

  Swallowing greedily and moaning from his taste, Lydia didn’t dare stop until she was certain he was finished. Pulling away and dramatically licking her lips, she smiled up at her husband-to-be, her heart lighter than air and her body aching for him.

  “I don’t deserve you.” He said quietly, bending down to kiss her forehead. “I really don’t.”

  “Yes, you do.” She argued, sliding her nails down his back as they embraced, guiding him onto the bed. “You really do.”

  “Mm. You’re something else.” He pushed her down onto the mattress and slid between her legs, keeping her thighs parted with his muscular ones as he pushed her skirt upwards. “Shit. You weren’t lying, were you?”

  As the warm room air licked up her thighs, Lydia shivered and shook her head, releasing a needy moan as his thumb brushed across her clit.

  She was so grateful they could share these moments together. It wasn’t long ago, she’d been terrified of letting a man touch her so intimately, but now she couldn’t imagine life being any other way.

  “You’re my prince, you know.”

  His fingers stilled against her and he lifted his eyes to meet hers, a soft smile slowly spreading across his lips as he tilted his head to the side.

  “And you’re my princess, Lydia. You know that.” He kissed her. Once. Twice. Three times. “Sometimes I still don’t know how I got so damn lucky.”

  “We’re both lucky, huh?” She asked, a moan clawing past her lips as his fingers sank inside her. “Oh, Callum…”

  “I love you so much.” His voiced dripped with desire as he pumped his fingers in and out, slow and deep. “You’ll never know how much I love you.”

  “I’ve got a pretty good idea.” She struggled to speak, swallowing down lungful after lungful of air as he sped up, his thumb pressing against her clit. “Oh my…Oh, Callum. I need you.”

  “And you’ll have me, sweetheart. But not until I get my dessert.”

  She knew what that meant—God, did she ever—and it was all she could do to keep herself from screaming like a raving lunatic as he crawled down her body and settled between her legs. It was his home away from home—his words, not hers—and sweet Lord above, he was so good at it.

  “Bon appetite.” She squeaked just as his head disappeared from her view.

  ----------

  Benji

  “Great workout this morning, hu
h?” Jeb asked as he pulled a clean t-shirt over his head and glanced at him through the mirror.

  “Pretty great.” Benji replied, rubbing a towel vigorously over his head. The only downfall to having longer hair, save the fact it was shaved on the sides, was how much longer it took him to dry it. “You’re a freaking beast with those weights, man.”

  “Thanks.” Jeb grinned and turned to look at him, stretching his arms above his head. “You’re getting good at it, too, dude. Pretty soon you’ll be benching your own weight.”

  “Soon.” Benji agreed, glancing at his biceps and knowing how sore they’d be for the day.

  Not bad. He thought with a sense of pride. Muscles are a good thing.

  “Got any plans tonight?” Callum asked, re-entering the locker room with a towel wrapped around his waist.

  “Probably not.” Benji muttered. “There’s not much to do in this town.”

  “You’re damn right about that.” Jeb chuckled. “But hey, who says you have to stay in this town to have fun?”

  “I’m not familiar enough with the area to know where all the good stuff is.” Benji tried to laugh it off, but the truth was it annoyed him beyond belief.

  He knew where all the good clubs were in Vermont, but North Carolina? Clubs probably didn’t even exist. It was hard to imagine anything aside from a few bible study groups if he was honest about it. What kind of excitement could be found in or around Prairie Town on a Friday?

  “Dude, we’ll hook you up.” Jeb stated confidently as he picked up his bottle of water and unscrewed the cap. Taking a long, messy sip, he wiped his mouth off with the sleeve of his shirt and glanced at his friend.

  “Sure we can.” Callum nodded in agreement. “What kinds of things do you like to do, Ben?”

  “I like to do lots of things.” And I’d like to do them with Laney, he wanted to add, but he kept quiet about that part as he turned his back to them and let the towel fall away from his torso.

  Jeb and Callum talked casually about all the things they could get into while he pulled on his shirt.

  He knew they would never say anything about the scars on his chest, but he still wasn’t comfortable with allowing them to see them. It wasn’t that he felt his scars made him any less of a man; he just didn’t want people staring at them—especially Callum and Jeb.