A Lover's Secret

by Bloom, Bethany

  She nodded. “And a size five shoe.”

  He returned twenty minutes later with a stiff brown leather carryon filled with a sundress, a pair of jeans and a blouse, a new pair of running shoes, two pairs of shorts and tank tops and a sexy, strappy pair of sandals, along with some French-looking lingerie, all bows and lace.

  “Where did you find all of this stuff?” she asked.

  “Stick with me, kid…I’ve got all kinds of surprises up my sleeve,” he said with a wink.

  It was just one of the many things he’d said that day that made her push her rational, logical brain back out of the way because she knew, as soon as she allowed it any space at all, she would wonder what on earth she had done, and why she was going God-knows-where with this guy, without a phone and without anyone knowing where she had disappeared to.

  The airliner began to taxi, lurching forward with an awkward bucking motion, which made Jess fear for her safety while in flight, but Jake didn’t seem to be alarmed. Soon, the plane came to rest once again, but in just a few moments, the flight attendant instructed them to prepare for takeoff, and Jess put on her placid face. The plane gained speed, emitting a terrific screech, and forcing her back against the seat As the plane lifted, so did her stomach, and she pressed against the headrest and peered over at Jake.

  “This is the moment of flight that I love,” he said, his eyes dancing. “I mean, you know that, on some level, you really aren’t supposed to be doing this. Soaring up over the world like this. It’s breaking all the rules, and yet, here we are…in the air, where we most certainly don’t belong.” He shook his head and leaned to look out the window. “Up with the birds and the geese and the little damn clouds over the mountain peaks.” His tone dropped to a reverent whisper. “I wish I could fly everywhere.”

  “There’s a place. Near my home.” His eyes became glassy. “Right on the coast. The Bluffs at Bellingham. How’s that for a poetic name?”

  She rested her head on the seat and watched his lips as he spoke. The way they pushed out, as in a pout, when he paused. It was mesmerizing.

  Jake went on. “There’s a narrow strand of sand and, before that, some kind of hard earth, granite, maybe, I don’t know, and so you can drive right up to it. Right up next to the cliffs and then there is a only a sheer rock wall straight down to the ocean. You can sit and dangle your feet over the side, and you can swing them up and out over the ocean with the waves crashing on the rocks below. You’re so high, a couple hundred feet maybe, but you swear you can feel the spray on your face, and your nostrils fill with the scent of salt. Like it’s biting you. And it fills you with power and sheer…possibility. It’s like it was made for launching yourself from.”

  “As in paragliding?” Her voice sounded sharp against as it grated against his hushed one.

  “Something like that,” he replied.

  She considered the idea for a moment. What it must feel like to simply allow the air to lift you, to ride an invisible current, the lost feeling it would give her deep in her belly, as the wind took her up, up and out over the sea.

  “You know,” Jess said, low, “I’ve never seen the ocean.”

  “Are you kidding me?” His eyes widened.

  “Nope. I’ve been landlocked my whole life.”

  “Then why on earth are we going to the mountains? Why didn’t you choose the beach?”

  She shrugged.

  “You should have told me. I never would have let you choose mountains, if I had known.”

  “I like the mountains.”

  “So do I. But you’ve seen mountains.” He raised two fingers as though to beckon the flight attendant, “Let’s just see if we can get this plane to change course. Go into the cockpit and take matters into our own hands.”

  She swatted at his hand and laughed. “Mountains will be perfect. Anywhere will be perfect.”

  “But, Jess. The ocean. The power of it. The magnitude. The sheer… vastness.” He was silent a moment and when he spoke next his tone was round and steeped in reverence. “There is a series of rocks on the beach near my home, and if you sit on a certain time of day, you can walk out to them, and then in just an hour, everything has changed. You are an island. You are marooned. I used to love to sit out there and think and write.”

  She was still a moment, imagining the crash and the froth of the waves, circling the stones where Jake’s chiseled form stood.

  “You don’t do that anymore?” she said, eventually.

  He didn’t answer, and she turned her eyes toward him and saw that his eyelids had closed. Was he asleep? Seriously? So quickly? She stared at him a minute more, at the slight flare of his nostrils, the sweep of his eyelashes, dark and long. A wave to his hair, just at the forehead and she imagined burying her fingers in it, groping it, tugging it. He made a muffled snorting sound, a final breathy release as he drifted off, and she returned her attention to the rounded window on her left. The world seemed so organized and precise from up here. The fields of corn and wheat laid out in tight rows, like a sample of Grandma’s crochet.

  The plane banked, pitching her toward the window, and she imagined what it would feel like to fall, fall down to earth from this distance. What would become of her? In the E.R., she had seen people after they had fallen thirty or forty feet. Drunk guys, mostly, falling from balconies or rock ledges in the foothills. She winced, imagining herself tumbling out into the air, arms and legs stuck out straight, like a starfish. Would she give in, and allow herself to fall peacefully, or would she fight it, spastically kicking and gasping for breath? And what would it feel like? What kinds of thoughts would rush through her mind in the final moments?

  Jake snuffled next to her. He was sound asleep. What would Jake do, if the plane were to, say, break in half, right here, right now? She imagined him grabbing for her hand, first, and then smirking as they tumbled out into the open air. His face would contort in free fall. His cheeks and lips would succumb to the force of the air and the wind, and he wouldn’t be able to say another word to her.

  The plane rocked again, and she frowned. What would become of her, with Jake by her side?

  ***

  For a man who liked to grab life by the balls, he sure slept a lot.

  The captain had just announced that they were beginning their final descent, but Jake’s head was still thrown back, his mouth open.

  Jess peered through her window once again, down through the feathery clouds. Here and there, she could see mountains, edged in blue, with lacy smatterings of snow still clinging near the peaks. Closer to the ground, a city of adobe—flat rooftops protruding from densely packed trees.

  And there, in the distance, a tiny airport, three long runways spread like a star, intersecting in the center. The plane tilted and lurched and then, bump, they had touched down, only to skid along for a moment before screeching to a stop.

  Once the plane had taxied to the gate, Jake lifted his head and blinked his eyes open. He smiled at Jess, then rose to retrieve her bag as well as his own. A flight attendant ushered them down the passenger walkway to the terminal, where a tall man in a shiny black hat nodded to Jake when he saw them, then took their bags and whisked them to a car. A Mercedes this time.

  “How have you been arranging all of this?” she asked, settling herself against the seat back.

  “Oh, Margot, my personal assistant. She’s the best. I text her where I want to go, and she makes it happen. Bam.” He clapped his hands. “It’s done. Everyone should have a Margot. I’m telling you.”

  Jess nodded, wondering if Margot looked anything like Elizabeth. The car proceeded out of the city, along a scrubby highway, which took on a sheen as it extended out toward the horizon.

  “So, just where are we going?” Jess tried again.

  “We’re going to heaven. Didn’t you know?”

  Well, that was sort of creepy. She was silent while she tried to formulate a response.

  He rephrased. “We’re going to one of my favorite places on earth. I t
hink you’ll love it, too.”

  “How long a drive is it?”

  “An hour or so. I don’t know.” He closed his eyes and pushed his head against the back of his seat. “Let’s take a nap.”

  Take another nap? She pressed her lips tight and sighed. Of all the things she imagined Jake Lassiter had in store for her, napping wasn’t one of them, and, while she wanted to regard it as funny, as kind of quirky, the truth was, she felt abandoned when he went to sleep the second time.

  And so she was left to her thoughts, once again, which meant her fearful, suspicious mind had plenty of time to reflect on what she had done. The car sailed along the deserted highway, and she could see her reflection in the window glass: her anxious worried eyes, and then, just beyond, the rolling hills of red earth, stippled with crouching shrubs as far as she could see. Monica had been right about one thing, she thought now: Nearly everything scared Jess to death, including being led blindly through the desert by a man she hardly knew. A man everyone seemed to be warning her about.

  After a time, the road narrowed. Low, doublewide trailers dotted the landscape. Then, from out of nowhere, appeared a tiny church. Freshly painted in bright white, with a tall steeple, and a glossy red door. This is where the car made an abrupt turn and left the pavement without slowing down.

  Gravel pinged the side of the car, and the hair lifted on Jess’s arms and on the nape of her neck. Where was Jake taking her? How could she have been so foolish to fly across the country with this guy? How could she be so trusting? A month ago, she was fixing to graduate as a doctor. Ready to start her residency. And now she was going to be raped, murdered, and left for the coyotes to eat in some scrubby desert.

  The vehicle sailed over crevices in the road. Should she try to escape? From this speed, she could jump out and away from the car. Then a memory. An afternoon shift in the Emergency Room. A young man had charged in, carrying a woman covered in blood. He held her as though she were a child, her head buried in the crook of his elbow, her hair awash over her face.

  In choking gasps, he said they’d been having a fight while he was driving down the interstate, and she was angry and she’d told him to stop and let her out, but he hadn’t. He just kept driving faster, and so she opened the door and jumped. The family in the car behind hadn’t even see her before they felt her, underneath. They had tried to call an ambulance, but, dazed, he had shoveled her into his car and raced her to the hospital.

  The man had been out of his mind. His eyes blazed. He choked and sputtered and shouted at Jess to do something. To save her. But there wasn’t anything she could do. Of course there wasn’t. But that man’s desperate face still haunted Jess’s dreams.

  What had become of him, she wondered now. Had he ever recovered? Had he ever forgiven himself for that brief moment of time that had surely changed the entire trajectory of his life?

  The car bumped over railroad tracks now. Gabump. Gabump. Then through a gate, an opening in a wire fence just large enough for the one lane dirt road.

  That’s when Jake blinked his eyes open. “Oh, wow,” he yawned and stretched. “We’re almost there. Did you get a chance to sleep at all, beautiful?”

  She shook her head.

  “Too bad. You have to snag it when you can, sweetheart. We’re going to have quite an evening.”

  He pointed just ahead to a line of adobe homes, which had just appeared on the horizon. They were nestled tight against an array of cliffs, and as they drew closer, Jess could make out a sequence of steaming pools at their base. The gravel parking lot was filled with luxury cars: Lexus SUVs, Cadillac Escalades, Porsche Cayennes, and a flagstone plaza flanked half a dozen adobe buildings, each trimmed in red or brilliant blue.

  The car slowed to a stop just before the largest building. “Why don’t you look around the grounds while I check in,” Jake suggested, as the driver offered his hand to help her from the car.

  The air had a bite to it. A copper fire pit in the center of the plaza crackled with pinon logs. Jess’s shoes clicked on the stone as she made her way toward the fire, wondering where on earth she was. She turned then, slowly, to take in the beauty on all sides of her.

  Jake approached from behind. “What do you think?” he asked in a whisper.

  “It’s gorgeous and so…quiet.”

  “I thought you’d like that. This is truly a place of rest and of healing.” He took her hand in his and squeezed. “There is actually a rule here: No talking above a whisper. But that counts only in the public areas. Once we get to our cottage, you can scream at the top of your lungs if you like.”

  Was that supposed to be seductive… or menacing? “So where are we, exactly?” Jess asked, scanning the buildings for clues. “What is this place?”

  “I told you. It’s heaven. I come absolutely whenever I can. For thousands of years, the mineral hot springs that flow through these cliffs have been regarded as having mystical healing powers. But the best of all the springs is still to come, and we’ll have it all to ourselves. We will have a private Cliffside pool, at the most potent—and the hottest—of the springs.”

  Just then, a small unmarked vehicle pulled alongside them. “Your all-terrain golf cart awaits,” Jake said, sweeping his arm and helping Jess step up toward the padded seat before climbing in beside her.

  The cart bumped along the gravel, then made its way onto a rough dirt path. “What you saw back there is the public area,” Jake explained, “But we’ll be staying in complete seclusion. It’s one of the most private resorts I’ve ever found, and the staff here is so accommodating, but highly discreet. No one will hear a thing,” he said, winking.

  Why all this talk of discretion, seclusion? Jess’s chest tightened, then a fluttering sensation coursed through her. Once again, she found herself trying to determine whether it was from desire or fear.

  The path was rough and just wide enough for the cart. The trees soared on either side of her, their branches arching over the river, shadows flickering across the dappled water. Again, the sharp scent of wood smoke as they approached a cozy adobe cottage, tucked away in the trees.

  “Here we are, Mr. Lassiter,” said the driver, rolling to a stop near an outdoor kiva-style pit where a fire had been laid.

  “I’ll take it from here,” Jake said, as he palmed the driver a tip and lifted their bags. Jess followed close behind as Jake opened the front door, which had been painted cerulean blue. Inside, another fireplace crackled. On a wood-plank table sat a vase of fresh wildflowers, brilliant shades of blue, red and orange, and a formal setting for two. The back of the home was encased entirely in glass, a sliding door in the center, through which she could see a stone patio and a steaming pool edged by a sheer wall of chalky white.

  “The Cliffside grotto,” Jake murmured as he skimmed his hand against Jess’s arm. He led her, then, placing one hand in the small of her back, to the bedroom. The bed was piled with rose petals. On the side table, a bucket of ice with champagne and chocolate covered strawberries.

  Immediately, he plucked the champagne from the bucket and examined the label. “May I pour?” he asked.

  Elizabeth’s warning rang in Jess’s ears. “No, no. Not just yet.”

  He smiled and pulled back to look her in the eyes. “Okay, would you like to take a dip first?”

  Jess’s chest rose. Where would that lead? She felt a nervous sensation in the pit of her stomach. Now that the time had come, now that they were alone, she found that she was tremendously nervous. Scared. Maybe even terrified.

  “How about we sit by the fire for a bit?’ she gushed. “Or maybe take a hike.”

  “You want to take a hike?” He popped his eyebrows.

  “Yeah. Doesn’t that sound fun?”

  “Now?”

  “Yeah.”

  He laughed and squeezed at the back of his neck. “Okay. Sure.”

  “Or, maybe not a hike. Maybe a run instead.” Nothing was better than running to calm her nerves. Plus, it would delay things. Maybe afte
r a run, she would be ready to… She gulped.

  “Ah. How about a trail run. Through the river valley, around the cliffs, across some spectacular high desert mesas.” His eyes danced now.

  “That sounds perfect,” she said, and she snagged her suitcase on the way to the bathroom to change her clothes. She frowned when she discovered how tight her new running outfit was. It showed her entire midriff, and there was no T-shirt to throw on top, but the shoes were perfect. They were lime green and light but with a rigid sole, which buoyed her up and made her feel fast and fierce.

  When she emerged, he had changed into a pair of fitted black shorts with a white stripe down the side and a T-shirt that read, “Keep Austin Weird.” Immediately, he leapt forward. “Chase me!” he called, leading the way out the back door, launching himself over the eight foot privacy fence and leaping down the other side.

  Would it have killed him to go out the front door? She sighed, but smiled, too. This was her first clue they weren’t just going for a nice jog along the river. By the time she maneuvered the fence, he was far ahead, on a slender winding path, which hugged the base of the cliffs. He disappeared between a break in the rocks, and when she reached it, she could see the path climbed upward. Loose rocks from his footfalls above tumbled past her. Her lungs burned but she was gaining on him.

  He turned and saw that she had nearly caught him, and, instantly, he took off faster. The landscape opened up, and the path snaked through fragrant shrubs, wild herbs, mica glistening in the dirt. With each footfall, she felt as though she were running faster; as though she were an ancient warrior, ducking through brush, bounding over rocks. Her heart pounded in her face, a sensation of sheer awareness, alertness.

  Her body propelled her over a final ridge, and they reached a plateau. The sun was dipping in the sky, and nature’s colors took on a burnished light. Jake’s skin glowed with sweat and he breathed hard, his hands on his hips.