The Adventurer's Guide to Dragons (and Why They Keep Biting Me)

by Wade Albert White

  “Look, I’m really sorry,” said Anne, “but I didn’t see any other options. I didn’t think we would last much longer in that arena full of dragons, and I knew they wouldn’t follow us in here.” Anne braced for a barrage of harsh words. Instead, Penelope wrapped her arms around Anne in a big hug and lifted her off the ground.

  Penelope set her back down. “I’m sorry, too, about the whole thing with Valerian. You were both right. I shouldn’t have trusted him so easily. As far as bringing us here, with the way those fireballs were flying around, the truth is you saved our skins.”

  “I agree,” said Hiro. “That was quick thinking.”

  “And you’re also sorry for the things you said to me, yes?” Penelope said to Hiro.

  Hiro frowned. “Well, technically, I was correct, so…”

  Penelope punched him in the shoulder.

  “Okay, yes, I’m sorry, too,” said Hiro, rubbing his arm.

  “And don’t you forget it.”

  No matter what they faced now, Anne was happy to know they’d be facing it as a team again.

  “Which way should we go?” Anne asked them both.

  “Why don’t you ask Jeffery?” said Hiro. “Maybe he knows something.”

  “Good idea.” Anne raised the gauntlet. “Jeffery?”

  There was no response.

  “Why isn’t he coming out?” said Penelope.

  Anne studied the cave again. She’d seen black walls like this before: They were the same as the interior of the Infinite Tower and the secret laboratory beneath Saint Lupin’s, which they had visited during their first quest. They were obviously related to the Old World, but Anne couldn’t begin to guess their significance.

  “I think it’s these walls,” said Anne. “I don’t know what they’re made of, but somehow they prevent Jeffery from coming out of the gauntlet.”

  “Great,” said Penelope. “We can’t even consult our GPS. Does the guide have anything to say?”

  Anne took the guide from her pocket. The cover read: Fishmongers of the World Beware! She gave the book a shake, but the title didn’t change. The inside pages were completely blank.

  “Looks like we’re on our own,” said Anne.

  “Well, we might as well do some exploring, then,” said Hiro. “Maybe we’ll find a clue somewhere that will tell us how to get out.”

  They picked the closest tunnel. It led down a short hallway that opened onto a much longer corridor, and the mossy floor of the cavern gave way to smooth stone tiles. Neither direction looked better than the other, so Anne turned right and kept walking. As they went along, she wondered what was so bad about this place that the dragons refused to enter.

  Several minutes later, they came to a side corridor. Anne walked around the corner to have a look and stumbled back.

  “What’s the matter?” said Penelope, who took a look herself, with Hiro and Anne behind her.

  Down the side corridor was a dragon. Or rather, a statue of a dragon. It looked impressively realistic, and it must have taken the artist a very long time to complete in such fine detail. For some reason, its face had an incredibly sad expression.

  “That’s amazing,” said Penelope as they drew closer.

  Hiro frowned. “Why put a statue in the middle of nowhere?”

  Penelope shrugged. “Why not? It gives people something to look at.”

  “In a never-ending maze?”

  Anne agreed with Hiro. As interesting as it was, it seemed an odd place to stick a piece of art. But there was no point dwelling on it.

  “So back the way we were headed, or down this way?” said Anne.

  Penelope shrugged. “Does it matter?”

  They kept walking down the side corridor for another ten minutes until they hit a cross tunnel, where they discovered even more dragon statues.

  “That’s really strange,” said Hiro.

  “Even worse, though, is that now we have to choose from four directions,” said Penelope. “Left, right, straight ahead, or back the way we came? We’ve been in this maze less than thirty minutes, and already I’m sick to death of it.”

  They continued forward and walked for well over an hour before encountering any more side tunnels. They passed three more statues, and at the first new intersection they elected to stop and rest. The only provisions they had were some biscuits Penelope had stuffed in her pocket from the previous night’s meal.

  “Shucks,” she said as she split off pieces for everyone. “I totally could have eaten these for breakfast.”

  As Anne sat eating, she felt a momentary wave of despair. Here they were, yet again, stuck on a quest none of them had chosen and weren’t prepared to deal with. And no matter the outcome, they would undoubtedly be facing serious consequences.

  A faint echo interrupted her thoughts. She stopped chewing and listened. It sounded like approaching footsteps.

  “Do you hear that?” Anne whispered.

  Penelope leapt silently to her feet and snuck along the wall. She paused at the intersection, and then signaled with her hand, pointing down the corridor to their right. Something was approaching from that direction. Anne motioned her back. Was this the thing in the maze the dragons so greatly feared? Should they try to make a run for it? Could they even outrun whatever it was?

  The footsteps grew louder. Anne tried to keep herself from shaking, but she wasn’t having much success. Considering the two trembling bodies next to her, neither were Penelope and Hiro, and that somehow made Anne feel a little better. The footsteps reached the corner, and a boy stepped out of the side corridor and stopped. It was Valerian.

  Before Anne could even open her mouth, a large blur sped past her and tackled Valerian to the ground.

  “Help!” shouted Valerian, struggling against Penelope. “Get her off me!”

  “Not likely,” said Penelope, as she pinned his arms. “At least not until I’ve given you a good thumping.”

  Valerian struggled to get free, but it was no use. No one escaped Penelope’s clutches unless she wanted them to.

  Valerian looked imploringly at Anne. “Please.”

  Anne glared at him. “What makes you think I’m on your side?”

  Valerian tried to wriggle out from under Penelope’s elbow, but she smooshed his face into the ground.

  “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen,” he said. “You have to believe me. As soon as I got the chance, I escaped from the Copper Knights and came back here to find my mother.”

  Anne looked around. “What do you mean you came ‘back here’? Where is ‘here’ exactly?”

  “We’re in the same realm where the Three-Handed Sword was hidden. Or the same plane of existence. Or whatever you want to call it. It’s all connected in one long, extended series of rooms and tunnels and has multiple exits. It’s an Old World system of travel known as an archway network.”

  “I didn’t see another exit when we were down in the pit,” said Anne.

  “That’s because the archway was active,” said Valerian. “Once it shut off, a passageway opened beyond it. I found my mother at the bottom of the pit. She isn’t injured, but her condition has grown much worse.”

  “So why didn’t you take her out of here?”

  “The knights smashed the controls to that archway and it wouldn’t open. I tried to get her to another one, but she collapsed on the way.” Valerian stared pleadingly into Anne’s eyes. “Please. I only left her and came here because I heard voices. She needs help.”

  “You betrayed us,” said Penelope. “Why should we trust anything you have to say?”

  Valerian stopped struggling. “You’re right. You shouldn’t. It’s all my fault you’re in this mess in the first place. I have no right to ask anything of you. But I’m not asking you to help me. I’m asking you to help my mother.”

  “How did you even get here?” asked Anne. “The Copper Knights took the eye.”

  “Check my pack.”

  While Penelope kept Valerian pinned, Hiro reached into
his pack and pulled out a large round stone.

  “The other eye!” exclaimed Penelope.

  Valerian nodded. “After I discovered where my mother had hidden them, I went to the monastery and took one. Ever since, I’ve been using it to open the archways and travel.” He bowed his head. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about it earlier. I thought if I took possession of both eyes, I could regain control of the Copper Knights since they were the only way to the sword. But I see now that they were only using me.”

  “Let him go,” said Hiro.

  “What?” said Penelope. “You of all people should want to see him get a good thrashing.”

  Hiro shrugged. “I believe him. I mean, I’m not saying he doesn’t deserve some form of punishment for everything he’s done, but Emmanuelle shouldn’t have to suffer because of his poor decisions. Besides, the Copper Knights have everything they need. Why else would he come into the maze voluntarily?”

  “Are you sure?” asked Anne.

  “As sure as I can be.”

  Anne didn’t like it. They’d been fooled by Valerian once, and she wasn’t about to let it happen again. Still, they outnumbered him three to one, and Penelope could always sit on him again if he caused further trouble.

  Anne nodded.

  Penelope rolled off Valerian and rose to her feet, but she stood over him a moment longer. “Did you hear the story about the boy who cried?”

  “You mean the boy who cried wolf?” asked Valerian.

  “No, I mean the boy who cried because I beat him with my sword for being a big, fat liar.”

  “I—I understand,” said Valerian, and the fear in his eyes looked believable enough.

  Penelope stepped back, and Hiro helped Valerian to his feet, handing him back the eye as he did so.

  “Where’s your mother?” asked Anne.

  “Not far from here.”

  Valerian headed down the passageway, followed by Hiro. Anne grabbed Penelope’s arm, holding her back.

  “Keep your sword loose, okay?” said Anne.

  Penelope nodded.

  Valerian walked with the determination of a person with something to lose, and Anne and Penelope ran to catch up. They passed another dragon statue.

  “Why are the dragons so afraid to come here?” asked Anne.

  “Isn’t it obvious?” said Valerian, pointing to the statue. “Just look what it does to them.”

  Anne was stunned. “You don’t mean those are real dragons?”

  “They were. Banished here by the queen for various reasons. In the maze, they slowly turn to stone.”

  Anne’s mind was spinning as the puzzle pieces came together. Coming here caused the dragons to turn to stone. Emmanuelle was also turning to stone. Did that mean—

  “In here,” said Valerian, and he ducked through a doorway.

  This room was smaller than the one they had landed in, and much of the space was taken up by yet another statue. Or at least, Anne thought it was a statue. This one was beautifully carved out of pure white marble. She was about to reach out and touch it when the dragon drew a deep, ragged breath. It was alive.

  “It’s a trap,” yelled Penelope, and she tore her sword out of its sheath.

  Valerian stepped between Penelope and the white marble dragon and held up his hands.

  “I didn’t lie,” he said. “And it’s not a trap.”

  He placed his hand on the dragon’s white scales.

  “Everyone, this is my mother.”

  The dragon’s eyes were closed and her breathing was uneven, as though she were sleeping fitfully.

  Penelope squinted. “Um, no offense, but I’m pretty sure that’s a dragon.”

  “My mother is a dragon,” said Valerian.

  “That’s a bit harsh,” said Penelope. “I thought your mom was actually really nice.”

  Anne placed her hand on Penelope’s shoulder. “Pen, he’s saying this is Emmanuelle. She is literally a dragon.”

  Penelope studied the white dragon more closely. “I don’t see the resemblance.”

  “Some dragons have the ability to take human form,” Valerian explained. “But only in our world. Not here.”

  Hiro raised his eyebrows. “Does that mean you’re a dragon, too?”

  Valerian shook his head. “I’m only a half-dragon. I can hold my dragon form for a few seconds at the most, but sometimes that’s all I need. I’m… actually the one who fireballed you from the capital tier, after you escaped from the library. The Copper Knights abandoned me at the docks where their airship was waiting. Since I couldn’t exactly continue on to Saint Lupin’s, I was sending myself back to my mother. You three got caught in the wake of my fireball.”

  “I didn’t think dragons could travel by fireball,” said Hiro.

  “Full dragons can’t,” said Valerian. “But if I time it right, I can shoot out a fireball in my dragon form, and then switch back to my human form and ride it. I’m not very good at them yet, though. They tend to be somewhat unstable and I can never seem to get the timing right.”

  “That would explain the sixteen-hour fireballs,” said Penelope.

  “When we almost died on the volcano tier, that was you, too?” said Anne.

  Valerian nodded.

  More pieces of the puzzle fell into place.

  “The queen banished your mother here,” said Anne.

  “Yes,” said Valerian.

  “Why?”

  Valerian met her eyes without wavering. “Because of me and what I represent. Because my mother dared to love a human. Because of the shame this brought on her sister and the family legacy.”

  Anne’s eyes went wide. “Your mother and the queen are sisters?”

  Valerian nodded. “My mother is the older of the two and was actually supposed to become queen. She created that medallion herself, thinking it would save her and me from harm, but her sister acted before she ascended the throne.”

  “If you’re a dragon, how come you’re not turning to stone here in the maze like all the others?” asked Hiro.

  Valerian gave a harsh laugh. “The advantages of being only half dragon.”

  “Did you really believe activating the Dragon Slayer quest would change any of this?” asked Anne.

  Valerian sighed. “It can’t change what’s happened to my mother, but that wasn’t my only reason for activating it. It’s no secret that dragons believe themselves to be superior to humans, but some believe it more strongly than others. My aunt, the queen, has been working on a plan to take control of the Hierarchy.”

  “If you were banished, how do you know all of this?” asked Penelope suspiciously.

  “There’s a hidden archway in the dragons’ throne room, high up near the ceiling. You can hear everything that goes on.”

  “So why not tell someone?” said Hiro.

  “I tried, but no one would believe me. Among the dragons I’m an outcast, and among humans I’m merely a child. Activating the quest seemed like the only option, but I figured if I was the one who did it, then it wouldn’t cause any trouble for the Hierarchy. The dragons could hardly blame humans for a crime committed by a fellow dragon, even a half-dragon like me.”

  “Where do the Copper Knights come into all of this?” asked Penelope.

  “They belong to the dragons. They were gifts from the Hierarchy long ago. I knew I wouldn’t be able to complete the quest on my own, but I also knew no dragons would help me, so I took control of the knights. Or I thought I had, anyway.”

  “And what about Rokk?” asked Anne. “What did the knights do to him?”

  Valerian hung his head. “I honestly don’t know anything about that.”

  Anne placed a hand on his shoulder. She was still mad about Rokk and about getting dragged into yet another quest against her will, but she felt bad for Valerian and what had happened to him and Emmanuelle.

  The white dragon moaned. “Valerian.”

  Valerian rushed over to her side. “I’m here, Mother,” he said.

 
“Valerian… the time is… nearing.”

  He threw his arms around her neck. “No. Please, not yet. Just hang on a little longer. We’ll find a way to get you out of here.”

  The dragon shook her massive head. “It’s too late… for me… but there is still time… for you to do the right thing… .Help them stop the knights.”

  “I will,” said Valerian. “I promise.”

  The dragon sighed one last time and ceased moving. She had turned completely to stone. Valerian fell to his knees beside her and wept, his tears dripping onto her cold marble scales.

  Anne, Penelope, and Hiro watched silently. Anne wished there was something she could do to ease Valerian’s pain. She didn’t pretend to understand everything that had happened, but Emmanuelle had died trying to help them, and for that Anne was grateful. She could only imagine the overwhelming pain of losing Penelope or Hiro.

  As they stood there, a soft orange glow emanated from the dragon’s chest. It grew brighter and brighter, emerging from beneath Emmanuelle’s scales like a ghost. A small crystal pulsing with light fell to the ground with a soft clatter.

  Without thinking, Anne reached down to pick it up. When the fingers of her gauntlet-hand closed around the crystal, a great jolt of energy surged through her body. The force of it threw her backward, and she slammed into the wall.

  Someone called her name, but it sounded as if it were coming from very far away.

  Anne’s vision grew blurry, and then everything went dark.

  I’m okay.

  And you’re okay.

  And we are all okay.

  —Lyrics from “One of Us Is Not Okay,” by the bardiest of bard troupes, Pompf and the Boys

  A True Heir’s Final Breath

  Warmth.

  Light.

  Color.

  Anne felt shapes she could not see.

  Saw shapes she could not feel.

  Then flames.

  Red eyes.

  And the roar, the roar, the roar, the roar…

  “Why is she still unconscious?” asked a voice that sounded like Penelope.