The Adventurer's Guide to Dragons (and Why They Keep Biting Me)

by Wade Albert White

“Help… me.”

  Anne stopped. Who could be calling out?

  “Help… me,” said the voice again.

  “Hello?” she called out. “Is someone there?”

  The voice sounded as though it was straight ahead. She climbed over more cables and gears and had to squeeze through a narrow passage.

  “Help me,” said the voice, sounding closer.

  Anne crawled ahead toward a light source coming from a small opening, and she eased herself down into a large chamber identical to the one in the knight. The Heartstone lay in the center of the space.

  “Help… me,” said the voice, which came from the Heartstone itself.

  “Your Majesty?” said Anne.

  “You must… kill… this abomination.”

  Anne looked around. “You mean this metal dragon?”

  “Yes.”

  “But… isn’t that asking me to kill you?”

  “Not me… someone else… took… control.”

  Anne strained to understand what she was hearing.

  “Are you saying that someone took control of you and caused this to happen?”

  “Yes.”

  Anne thought of the imposters. Instead of the queen controlling them, as Anne had first believed, perhaps the fake committee members had really been controlling her.

  “The… sword,” said the queen.

  Anne raised an eyebrow. “The Three-Handed Sword? I don’t have it.”

  “Summon… it.”

  “I’m telling you, it’s back on the dragon tier.”

  “Summon… it,” the queen repeated.

  Anne could think of only one possibility.

  She held up her gauntlet-hand. “Activate sword,” she said.

  A giant sword, an exact replica of the Three-Handed Sword, appeared in the air above the gauntlet. Anne reached up and slowly gripped the hilt. As with the keys, it felt solid in her hand, like a solid hologram. Also, despite its awesome size, she found that she could wield it without any difficulty. Curiously, there was a stone in the pommel exactly where a dragon stone was meant to go. Even more curiously, the stone was bright yellow, the exact same color as her eyes.

  “Now, drive… the sword… into the stone.”

  “But isn’t there a way to save you first?” asked Anne.

  “No… time. You must… destroy… the stone.”

  Anne hesitated. She thought about the questions she had wanted to ask the dragon queen. She thought about Project A.N.V.I.L. and about what the Construct had said to her, about how asking about her origins was a waste of time. But she simply had to know.

  “Where do I come from?” asked Anne.

  The queen paused for a moment, and Anne thought she would refuse to answer. Then the queen spoke: “Born of two worlds…the ancient and the new…seek the Lady of Glass in her tower…she will reveal all to you.”

  It was a riddle, but it was more than she’d ever had before.

  “Thank you,” said Anne.

  “Now… finish it… before it’s too late.”

  How could Anne do it, knowing that the queen had been a victim, too, and didn’t deserve such a fate?

  Something large impacted the dragon, and the entire chamber shook, throwing Anne off her feet. This was followed quickly by a second impact, and then a third. Suddenly, one entire wall of the chamber was ripped away, and sunlight filtered in. One of the giant metal dragon’s own claws had torn into itself. The giant claw tossed away the crumpled metal, reached in, and grabbed for Anne. She sidestepped, but only just barely. The claw smashed into the wall, snapping braces and cables. It pulled out again, and the dragon let out a roar like a shockwave. Anne doubted it would miss a second time.

  She rushed over to the Heartstone and rested the tip of the sword directly on its surface.

  The claw returned.

  “Forgive me,” she said.

  Anne closed her eyes and pushed with all her might. She felt the sword pierce the Heartstone, and she drove in the blade up to the hilt. This time the robot dragon screamed, a high terrible sound that nearly deafened Anne. She held on to the sword even as the dragon shuddered with the throes of death.

  The entire room tilted sideways, as the giant metal dragon tried to rise up in one last gasp and then fell back to earth, slamming into the ground with a resounding crash. The Heartstone came loose and shattered against the wall, showering Anne in crystal shards.

  Then the dragon went still.

  Anne rose unsteadily to her feet. She made her way toward the opening the giant metal dragon had ripped in its own chest, climbing over twisted metal support beams and the remains of plate armor until she was back outside.

  Anne surveyed the destruction all around her. Much of the capital lay in ruins. Buildings were crushed. Several fires were blazing. The dragon had caused much of the mayhem, but she couldn’t deny that the giant knight had caused its fair share as well.

  The final line of the riddle came to mind once more:

  But let wonder bring the harbinger of death.

  Anne understood now. Wonder didn’t mean marvel in reference to the queen, as she had speculated. It meant MARV-E1. But the knight itself hadn’t been the messenger of death. It had merely delivered the true messenger.

  The messenger was her.

  Anvil of Saint Lupin’s, slayer of dragons.

  THE ADVENTURER’S GUIDE TO SEQUELS SAYS ALL PROPER SEQUELS MUST CONTAIN:

  1) New characters

  2) More and bigger explosions

  3) Yet another overly complicated plot to save the world

  4) At least one unexpected resurrection

  Dragon Slayer

  Anne stopped just outside the main office at Saint Lupin’s and took a deep breath. Jocelyn stopped beside her. She placed a reassuring hand on Anne’s shoulder and offered a tight-lipped smile. Together they proceeded into the room. Bright morning sunlight filled the space. Lord Greystone was already there, standing behind the desk with his black cloak slung over one shoulder and his crow, Neeva, perched on the other. Standing to Greystone’s left was the Lord Chamberlain, looking somber. To Greystone’s right was a stern-looking woman, also dressed in dark attire—no doubt another member of the Wizards’ Council.

  Jocelyn gave Anne’s hand one quick, final squeeze and stepped back.

  Greystone gestured to the X on the floor. “If you please,” he said to Anne.

  Anne walked over to the X and faced them.

  “You have been summoned here today to answer for your crimes—” Greystone started.

  The Lord Chamberlain cleared his throat, and Greystone looked annoyed.

  “I mean to say, you have been summoned here today to account for several—very severe—quest violations. Myself and Professor Emeritus Baroness Kitty von Hamsterkiller are here as representatives of the Wizards’ Council.” He gestured to the woman in black. “The Lord Chamberlain is here on behalf of the capital. And, of course, the head of your academy.” He gave a slight nod in Jocelyn’s direction.

  Anne fidgeted with the sleeve of her cloak but, catching the slightest shaking of Jocelyn’s head, dropped her arms to her side.

  Greystone held up a sheet of paper. “You are hereby charged with the following: activating an illegal Dragon Slayer quest, disobeying a direct order from the council, specifically that of the Minister of Questing to remain in the capital under lockdown, failure to prevent the death of the queen of the dragons, murdering the queen of the dragons—”

  “Isn’t that essentially charging me twice for the same offense?” asked Anne.

  Greystone gave her a piercing stare, and she said nothing further.

  “Commandeering an ancient gigantic killer knight,” he continued, “using the aforementioned gigantic killer knight to cause wanton destruction and mayhem, and in doing so creating a general atmosphere of terror—”

  “I only used the giant MARV unit to stop the giant dragon that was already destroying everything!”

  This time Greystone ignor
ed her outburst altogether and continued. “And finally, the destruction of a world heritage site, namely the Sapphire Palace. There is also a separate aiding-and-abetting charge here against the member of your group known as Rokk the Robot.” He lowered the paper. “How do you answer to these charges?”

  “The charge against Rokk isn’t fair,” said Anne. “The dragon queen was controlling him.”

  Greystone gave a nasty smile. “If you fail to enter a plea, one shall be entered on your behalf—as it happens, by the Minister of Questing, who is me. Now, how do you answer?”

  “The dragons have dropped all charges related to the death of the queen,” said Jocelyn. “I don’t see the council winning a case against Anne when the rightful complainants refuse to participate.”

  “I concur,” said the Lord Chamberlain.

  The woman in black gave an almost imperceptible nod.

  “Very well,” said Greystone, setting aside some of the papers but not looking very happy about it. “But there are still the remaining charges. Miss Anvil here and her little band of adventurers caused a lot of damage this time, and I intend to see they receive more than a slap on the wrist. There will be real consequences.”

  Anne stared at him defiantly. “Such as?”

  “For starters, you will pay for all repairs, down to the last broken teacup.”

  Jocelyn gripped the edge of the desk. “But that would bankrupt the academy.”

  “That’s hardly my concern,” said Greystone. “However, in light of recent events and discoveries, the council has come up with a proposal. First, you will give all of your award money from your previous quest, along with any treasure you received, to the Wizards’ Council. That won’t cover everything, but it will be a good start.”

  Anne nodded reluctantly.

  “Second, you will relinquish any quest-related salvage rights to the remaining intact Copper Knights and whatever bits and pieces we can find of the ones that were destroyed. This includes the MARV-E1 knight. These units will be auctioned off and the proceeds applied against the remaining damages.”

  “Outrageous!” bellowed Jocelyn, surging forward to stand beside Anne. “You know full well they will be snatched up by private buyers and hidden away. They belong in a museum for everyone to study and benefit from.”

  “You can either accept this proposal, or else the council will seize the Saint Lupin’s tier and everything on it and sell that instead.”

  Jocelyn stood fuming, but Anne could tell there was little she could do.

  “That’s fine,” said Anne. “The council can have the Copper Knights and the giant MARV unit.”

  Greystone smiled. “Well, I’m glad at least someone is willing to see reason.”

  “On one condition,” she added.

  Greystone’s eyes narrowed. “And pray tell, what would that condition be?”

  “Rokk gets to stay at Saint Lupin’s.”

  “Unacceptable. He was complicit in the theft of the Three-Handed Sword and attempted to murder the queen of the dragons in front of multiple witnesses. He is to be shut down and his body kept under permanent guard.”

  “No one is shutting Rokk down,” said Anne. “He can be forbidden to travel from Saint Lupin’s, but he’s not going anywhere with you.”

  Greystone leaned over the desk. “You’re hardly in a position to dictate terms. Maybe I’ll simply call off the deal right here and now and have you taken into custody. There’s an entire company of council guards right outside.”

  Anne resisted the urge to rub her sweaty hands on her sides. “Call them if you want, but I don’t think you will.”

  “Oh, no?”

  “No. Right now I think you want those Old World power suits more than you want this academy or to see either me or Jocelyn go to prison. In fact, I’m willing to bet on it.”

  “If the council seizes this tier, it seizes all of its assets along with it. So what’s to stop me from simply taking them?”

  “Simply this.”

  Anne raised two fingers to her lips and gave a sharp whistle. Three giant heads appeared in the window behind them. Three giant dragon heads.

  “In case you’ve forgotten, five of the knights, or what’s left of them, anyway, are currently still in the arena back on the dragon tier,” said Anne. “The dragons have assured me they’ll see them destroyed before anyone from the council even gets a look at them unless you agree to my terms. Although perhaps you’d be satisfied with just the one on the capital tier. Oh, and they’ll also be taking possession of the giant metal dragon, just in case you were thinking about trying to lay claim to that, too.”

  Greystone gave her a dark look, and his hand twitched over to the hilt of his sword but then moved away.

  “Very well,” he said, grinding his teeth. “In exchange for the knights, the robot stays here. For now. The fate of the giant metal dragon can be decided in negotiations between the dragon clan and the council. And finally,” he said, turning to another piece of paper, “the questing license for the Saint Lupin’s Quest Academy is hereby suspended until a full review by the Wizards’ Council has been conducted.”

  Anne opened her mouth to protest, but Jocelyn coughed behind her, and Anne said nothing.

  Greystone gathered his papers and walked around the desk, stopping next to Anne. “I suggest you tread carefully from this point forward,” he said. “After your first quest, you became something of a curiosity. But after this one, you have made real enemies. Enemies you know nothing about and are ill-prepared to deal with. So enjoy your brief victory.”

  Anne recalled her standoff with Greystone in this same office following her first quest, and remembered spotting what looked to be a crystal hanging from a chain around his neck. Could it be a dragon stone? She searched for any sign of it now, but saw nothing.

  Greystone, Professor von Hamsterkiller, and the Lord Chamberlain exited the office. As they did, the dragons dropped out of sight as well. Anne remained behind with Jocelyn.

  “Well, that certainly could have gone better,” said Jocelyn, “but it also could have gone much, much worse.”

  “I’m sorry things turned out this way,” said Anne.

  “Don’t give it another thought, my dear. I expected the suspension, and we’ll deal with the review when the time comes. We can still operate as a regular boarding school, and that will give us plenty to keep busy with in the meantime. I am pleased to see, however, that you acted with composure and bravery, as always. And although I’ve already said it, you have my sincere thanks for rescuing me. It couldn’t have been easy standing up to my double like that, and I applaud both your determination and your levelheadedness. I daresay you even gave Greystone a run for his money.”

  Anne felt her cheeks grow warm. She wasn’t sure if she would ever get used to hearing praise of any kind from an adult, having never received a single word of praise from the Matron for the entire first thirteen years of her life.

  “It nearly didn’t work,” said Anne. “And I’m sorry you won’t get a chance to examine that giant MARV unit.”

  Jocelyn gave her a sly grin. “Actually, no one will be doing anything with it.”

  Anne frowned. “What do you mean?”

  “Captain Copperhelm just informed me this morning. The giant metal knight has disappeared.”

  When Anne finally found him, Valerian was standing on the drawbridge watching the zombie sharks frolic in the water. His clothes had been cleaned and pressed, and he had a new pack slung over one shoulder. The three dragons who had appeared in the office window were waiting for him on the far side.

  “So you’ve made up your mind, then?” Anne asked. “You’re not staying?”

  Valerian nodded. “The queen’s involvement in the quest came as quite a blow to the dragons, and they’re going to need their king—which, as it turns out, is me. At least my part in helping prevent total disaster seems to have changed their view of half-dragons. Or it has for some of them, anyway.”

  “And what ab
out your mother’s stone?”

  “We’ve sent out search parties, but so far no luck. You wouldn’t think it would be that hard to spot a hundred-foot-tall knight wandering around. If she really is out there, though, I’m certain we’ll find her. And with the dragon’s other Heartstone destroyed, it’s all the more important that we do. I’d hate to think I might be the last dragon to ever receive a stone.”

  “Well, if you get bored with hanging around dragons all day, you’re welcome back here anytime,” said Anne. “I’d be glad to have you as an official member of the team.”

  “I’m not sure Penelope would agree. She keeps giving me the stink-eye.”

  Anne laughed. “I’m sure she’d get used to the idea. She’s learned to tolerate Hiro, after all. Speaking of eyes, I still have your mother’s.”

  “Keep it. We recovered the other eye from the airship the Copper Knights were using, and becoming the dragon monarch also comes with certain privileges,” he said, and he pointed to his own eyes.

  “Okay, thanks. And thanks for the help earlier, too,” she added, nodding at the dragon guards. “It really made a difference.”

  Valerian smiled. “It’s the least I could do.”

  “How are you getting back? Fireball?”

  “Flying,” said Valerian. “I need all the practice I can get. But I’ll be sure to take lots of breaks.”

  Anne stepped back.

  Valerian closed his eyes, and the red dragon appeared. He let out a hearty roar, flapped his wings mightily, and shot into the air along with the other dragons. Anne watched until they banked behind a distant tier and disappeared from sight.

  Anne sat with Penelope and Hiro on the edge of the tier. Penelope was busy throwing small twigs and watching them fall until they disappeared from sight. Hiro had his nose buried in a thick manual.

  “So, it’s back to the normal routine, then,” said Penelope.

  “I guess,” said Anne. “Although I’m not sure our routine has ever been normal.”

  “Any luck with the queen’s riddle?”

  “Not yet. I have a feeling that one’s going to take a while.”