When Destinies Collide

by Shirl Rickman

  It’s not like he’s avoiding me. He still met me after every one of my classes. He still made inappropriate more-than-a-friend comments. He is still Drake, but I can see in his eyes he has lost a little piece of himself. It wasn’t there yesterday. Yesterday, he still had that something that makes him who he is. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but whatever it is, he can’t lose it. I need him to be Drake. I need him to be the boy that is tearing down my walls.

  I look at the field, and the team is running out to the center and breaking into groups, which I suppose is split between defense and offense. I finally spot Drake running across the field, and suddenly I can’t breathe. He looks just as he has many times before in my mind, like a Greek god, but this time it’s a little different because the pads and uniform make him look bigger.

  I’ve lost complete track of why I’m here, and finally I feel the air filling my lungs again, but my heart rate has yet to slow down. This is Drake. Drake is my friend. I don’t want more. He doesn’t want more. I can’t want more.

  I hear the rumbling of footsteps on the bleachers below me, and I look down to see Emme climbing them toward me. As she approaches I feel a little relief at the distraction she will create. When she reaches me, she looks up and beams at someone behind me, and I start to turn and see who it might be. “Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Thomas.” I freeze mid-turn and slowly angle my body back toward the field. She doesn’t even wait for them to say anything before she plops her bottom down next to me. They’re behind me. Part of me wants to stand up and confront them over the pain they’re causing Drake. Before I can do anything stupid, Emme nudges me in my arm with her shoulder.

  “Hey! I have some news to share with you!” She sounds so excited I’m not sure how to react, although this is Emme, so she pretty much is in a constant state of excitement.

  “Oh, yeah!” I say with as much enthusiasm as I can muster.

  “I spoke with the cheerleading sponsor and the other cheerleaders, and they agreed we should give you the opportunity to join the squad! Isn’t that fantastic?”

  It takes a minute for what she said to register in my mind. I feel my throat starting to tighten, and panic fills my chest. I stare out in front of me toward the field, desperately searching for Drake. I need to see him to calm down. Breathe, Selene, breathe, I tell myself. Drake…where is he? There he is…in and out…in and out.

  “Selene—earth to Selene! Did you just hear me?” Emme is looking at me like I jumped off into the deep end.

  “Yeah? Great! Really. It’s great! I will talk to Aunt Violette about it!”

  She stares at me with a confused look on her face. I pray she won’t ask questions. She must’ve decided to not ask what’s wrong with me because she doesn’t say anything about cheerleading again.

  “So, why did you want me to meet you here? I never really took you for the type to sit and watch your guy practice football,” she says with a sunny expression on her face.

  Whispering, I lean toward her. “What? For one, he isn’t my guy, and two, I didn’t ask you to meet me. You offered!” A hurt look crosses her face, so I quickly amend my response. “I’m glad you did though, because I would feel like a fool sitting here all alone. Plus I sort of like you!” I lean into her in a friendly kind of half hug, which feels strange to me. I never even did this with Ryan or any of my other friends.

  An elated look spreads across Emme’s face. “I sort of like you too, and he is totally your guy. You just aren’t ready to admit it…yet!” Then a burst of hilarity erupts from her lips, and I couldn’t stop my own even if I wanted too.

  Emme has no idea what she has done for me in the mere fifteen minutes she has been sitting with me. In fact, I don’t think she knows what she has done for me in the few days she has known me. I look over at her, and she has a beaming smile on her face. I realize as much as I’m beginning to want to connect with this girl, I’m not ready to tell her everything. I’m holding back, just like I do with everyone.

  “It looks like they’re getting done a little early,” she says as she nods her head toward the field.

  When I look over, I notice they’re headed for the locker rooms. Thank God. I’m hanging too far out of my comfort zone, and with his parents sitting a few feet behind me, it’s only getting worse.

  “Let’s go. I’m gonna meet Drake at his car.” I whisper again because I keep worrying they will hear me. I stand up, and Emme follows behind me.

  As we approach Drake’s truck, Emme says, “I think I’m going to head home. I have a paper to write and need to get started on it.”

  I nod and tell her I will see her tomorrow. I decide to sit in my car, which I parked next to him, until he comes out of the locker room. I just hope he is willing to talk about this because if he doesn’t I’m not sure how to handle this situation.

  Drake

  AS I WALK OUT OF the locker room, I feel my nerves go into overdrive. During practice, I noticed Selene sitting in the bleachers and Emme at her side. At first, I felt a surge of excitement she would stay to watch me, but that was before I saw my parents sitting just a few feet behind them.

  Even at a distance, I saw my mother watching every move Selene made. It made my blood turn to ice. I can’t let her hurt Selene. I won’t let her. Rounding the corner of the locker rooms, I nearly stumble as I come to an abrupt stop. My parents are standing next to my truck, and Selene’s car is sitting just on the other side of it. A sudden urge to break into a full sprint and put myself between my mother and Selene fills me, but instead I keep calm and walk toward them as if everything were normal. I can see them, but Selene is still nowhere in sight.

  As soon as I’m within reasonable hearing distance, my father addresses me. “Drake, excellent job out there, but I noticed your elbow slip a few times when you were going to make those long passes.” I stare at him and try to imagine what it might have been like if he would have ended that statement with an Excellent job out there.

  “Thank you, sir,” I say instead of trying to pretend this means anything more than it does.

  My eyes dart around, trying to find any sign of Selene. I’m trying my best to cover the panic I feel when my mother says, “We saw Emme Fleming and that girl from the restaurant a few weeks ago.”

  I hate the way she says that girl but hide it by placing a bored look on my face. “Yeah, that’s interesting. Did you talk to Emme?”

  My mother remains quiet a moment, and I can tell she’s examining my response. “Of course. She said hello, and we acknowledged her. She was your sister’s best friend.” I swallow hard at the mention of Lacey but keep my face neutral. “I did find it peculiar the girl and Emme seem to be close friends. Did you introduce them?” She is still trying to poke at me to see if I will pop. It’s not going to work, Mother, so give up, I think to myself.

  I keep my same bored look and my voice as steady as possible. “Mother, I’m reasonably confident Emme Fleming is capable of finding her own friends. I wouldn’t be surprised if they actually have a class together. Selene is a nice girl too, so I’m sure they hit it off.”

  I shouldn’t have added the last part about Selene because I saw the flicker of interest burst into a full flame in her eyes. “I’m sure you’re right,” she says without saying more on the subject.

  This worries me, but I just want them to leave so I can find Selene. My father finally looks up from his phone and turns his attention back to us.

  “Well, we must be going because we have a council meeting tonight. See you later, Drake.” They both turn and walk away without another word.

  Once they get in their car and drive away, I run around to the passenger side of my truck, where Selene’s car is parked. I peer into the car and begin to laugh uncontrollably. Selene is lying flat on the front seat, waving at me as I peek in. She is so fucking cute.

  I swing the door open as the humor subsides.

  “What the hell?” I ask as I reach my hand into the car to help her out.

  She is still grinnin
g from ear to ear. “You should have seen me totally dive into the car when I saw them coming.”

  She sounds joyful, and the distinction is so sweet I want to grab ahold of her and never let go. She is so damn beautiful, and I need a constant reminder we’re just friends. If she keeps looking and smiling at me like this, then I’m going to need to set a reminder on my phone to go off every fifteen minutes just to keep my feelings in check.

  “Drake, do you think they saw me? I mean, I don’t want to cause you any problems. I just needed…I didn’t realize they came to your practices.”

  Shaking my head, I close her door, walk around to the back of my truck, and pull my tailgate down for us to sit on. “They didn’t see you, at least not over here. They saw you in the bleachers, and my mom brought you up. I think she’s suspicious but can’t put her finger on it. So, no biggie—for now, anyway.”

  She hops up on the tailgate and swings her feet. “I just don’t want to give her any more reasons to hurt you.” She pauses and sighs. I can tell she is nervous about something. “Drake, I know this morning you didn’t want to talk…”

  “And I still don’t. Selene, let it go,” I say abruptly. I hop off the tailgate to put a space between us and begin pacing. I just can’t do this.

  She looks up at me, tears rolling down her cheeks. Oh, God, I 've made her cry…again. I can’t look at her.

  “What do I do, Drake? Don’t you see? You’re being hurt. How can I ignore that?” My back is to her. The concern in her voice is nearly bringing me to my knees. Suddenly, I feel her standing behind me, so close I can practically feel the heat from her body. “I just don’t know what to do.” She sounds like at any moment she is going to shatter.

  Slowly, I turn and face her. She is looking down at her feet, and her small frame seems even more insignificant when I’m standing this close to her. I place my hand under her chin and tilt her head back so she is looking up at me. I never want to hurt this girl. She is my friend…my hope. “Please don’t cry. I can’t take it if you cry, especially over me. I don’t deserve your tears.” She blinks a few times, and I can still see the tears sparkling in her hazel green eyes.

  Raising her hand, she caresses it over the bruises on my face. “Drake, it could be worse next time. I’m acting selfishly here. I need you around because I trust you. I need you around because you’re my friend. I can’t lose you too when I 've lost everything else. So never ever tell me again you don’t deserve my tears, because you deserve more.” I see conflicting emotions warring in her eyes before she guardedly puts her arms around me.

  She’s stiff at first, but when I put my arms around her and slowly pull her into me, I feel her relax. I think I even hear her sigh as if she finally attained something she had been waiting a lifetime for.

  “I need to do this my way, Selene. You can’t help me,” I finally say after a few minutes. “I’ve been dealing with this for most of my life.”

  She pulls back and looks up at me again. “I will keep your secret for now, but if I ever think you’re in danger of …you know what I mean. I won’t hesitate telling someone…anyone to help you.”

  I nod and rub my thumbs across her cheeks to wipe away the tears. “Fuck. If I had known having a girl as a best friend felt this good, I would have done it a long time ago.” I probably just made her uncomfortable.

  “Fuck really isn’t a nice word, you shithead!” she says, surprising me. She chuckles, punching me in the arm. We both start to lose it. I rub my arm like she actually hurt me.

  “Remind me not to make you mad, you have a mean right hook,” I say, and she hops in her car and sticks her tongue out at me before driving away.

  As I watch her drive away, I say a little prayer I can keep my word and never hurt her.

  Selene

  IT HAS BEEN THREE WEEKS since Emme told me everyone on the cheer squad agreed to let me try out. After a lengthy discussion with Aunt Violette, I decided to do it.

  It felt good putting myself out there again. Taking a chance on getting things back to a more normal routine, letting go of some of the guilt I have continuing my life without mama. The tryout was just a protocol according to Emme because I pretty much was a shoo-in. I didn’t care, I enjoyed every minute. It’s one more step toward healing.

  I missed cheering at one football game before I had my uniform and everything I needed to be ready to cheer with the squad.

  Emme was beyond excited and let me know every chance she could for a week straight. Even Drake was particularly glad to have his own personal best-friend cheerleader at every game. He is such an ass, but he is the ass that has kept me together.

  No one realizes most days are a struggle for me. I wake up many mornings, and I just want to stay there. Then my phone dings with a Good morning text from Drake. It’s like he knows I need that extra push to go on with my day.

  Nearly six months have passed, and all I can think most days is people lie. It doesn’t get easier. Maybe I can make it through the days, but not a moment goes by that I don’t think of her…that is not easy. Sure, it’s different, and I’m learning thanks to Aunt Violette, Drake, and Emme…maybe even Tommy, to go on with my day.

  Two months have passed since Dad dropped me off in this little town without a second thought. He has yet to return any of my calls. He did call Aunt Violette once while I was at school to make sure I wasn’t causing her any trouble. I don’t even know how to feel about this anymore.

  This is what I do know. Time keeps passing even if we feel like we are at a standstill. I measure time by events. Some I wish I could undo and some not so much. I think Drake is measuring time too. The time since he lost Lacey. The time that goes by in between bruises left by his mother. I think he may be measuring time from the moment we met. I know I am. It’s what helps me keep my feelings in line. I tell myself we haven’t known one another long enough to feel this way. Sufficient time hasn’t gone by for me to love his smile or know his different laughs. Enough time hasn’t passed by for me to miss him when he isn’t around. Those things take years, right?

  I don’t know, but something is different with us, and maybe it doesn’t take years. The one thing that is taking time is my ability to admit and accept all of these feelings about my mama, my dad, and, most of all, Drake.

  Leaning against his truck while I wait for him to come out of the locker room, I can’t help but think we’re linked tightly together in some fated way. Just as I’m about to push away from the truck, a pair of warm lips make contact with my cheek and are gone before I know it. I'm so startled that I let out a little yelp.

  “Shit, Drake!” He’s hysterical. “It isn’t funny! You scared the shit out of me!”

  In between his breaths, he manages to say, “You looked so serious. I had to do something.” He continues for a few minutes, my heart still racing a little. When he's unguarded, and looks so carefree, I realize this boy is everything. His smile only accentuates his good looks.

  “What’s up, Chandler? Are you ready for some serious grub?” he asks as he lets out one last laughing cough.

  I can never stay irritated at him for long, but I don’t have to let him know that. “Oh, my name is Drake Thomas, and I like to scare girls standing alone in the dark, crack-up about it, and then talk about food like nothing happened,” I say with sarcasm then pretend to laugh uncontrollably.

  All at once, I’m grabbed around my knees and slung over his shoulder. “We don’t have time for your sarcasm, Chandler! I just helped win a football game and need food! I’m a growing boy!” He shouts as he runs around to the passenger side of his truck, opens the door, and tosses me in the seat. I’m surprised he didn’t beat on his chest like a gorilla. I giggle because I adore him.

  I will never get enough of this impossible guy. Never. I may not understand what exactly I’m feeling at this moment, but I know it’s real. As Drake pulls himself into the driver’s seat, chuckling, I realize the only thing that really matters is I can’t imagine not spending every moment pos
sible with him. There isn’t any doubt my time with Drake helps make all the other things in my life better.

  Drake

  I CAN’T STOP MY LEVITY as I pull myself up into the driver’s seat of my truck. Selene is so ridiculous sometimes, which only makes her more adorable. I look over, and she is watching me with an expression I’ve noticed her directing my way before, but I can never quite put my finger on it.

  “I really can’t decide if I love you or hate you,” she says as she releases a slight giggle, shaking her head. We both freeze at her words. Love. I peek over at her from the corner of my eye. She is beginning to fidget, twisting her long golden hair around her finger.

  I do the only thing I can to lighten the mood —I tease her. “Sooooooo, you looooove me!” I sing in an exaggerated way just to annoy her.

  She swivels in the seat next to me. “You wish. I definitely hate you.” She replies too quickly. “I thought you were hungry, Mr. Big Shot quarterback. You need your strength, remember?” She says this all so quickly, it’s as if she doesn’t even take a breath.

  I stare at her face, grinning, but on the inside I’m a little uneasy. Do I wish Selene loved me? I don’t know the answer to that, and I’m not sure I want to.

  So once again I ignore the way my heart clenches at the thought. “You finally get it. Let’s get out of here.” I start the truck and put it into drive. “Do you want to go to Fran’s Diner with everyone else or go somewhere different?”

  Fran’s Diner is about a twenty-five-minute drive outside of town, heading into Austin. It’s the post Friday night football game hangout for all the high school students of our town. I 've spent many a Friday night there, but for some reason it just doesn’t seem that important anymore. I no longer really care about what others think or how to keep my popular social status. One day it won’t matter anyway.