Duality

by Nasser Rabadi

  The car landed on its left side, off the path, and thudded into a tree.

  “Shawn?” Rose said. She heard him breathing and crying, and saw him wiping handfuls of blood from his face. “Shawn?”

  He did not say anything. She could tell he was badly wounded, with blood pouring from his head and more soaking his t-shirt. Rose was the lucky one; she was bleeding, sure, but not as badly as Shawn. She was dizzy and everything hurt wildly.

  Rose undid her seatbelt, reached for the door, and opened it. It took a couple pushes for it to stay open. She climbed out, trying to make sense of it all, but it was all becoming more distant and blurry in her mind.

  “I’ll come back to help you, Shawn, I can’t reach you, and you’re hurt,” she said. She thought she heard a groan. He was losing blood fast. Just like Mrs. Hart.

  Mrs. Hart? Rose thought. Huh? What happened to her? What’s going on? I can’t think—we were going to Raven Hill, where am—

  At that second, she realized just how severe the wall of fire was—it towered to the heavens, and its powerful heat swept over her. Then a chilling wind wrapped around her. A cloud passed over the moon so she was in total darkness. She shivered as more cold air traced her, and she looked around—all alone. She hated it.

  “Hello? Anybody?” Rose said in a soft, scared voice.

  A bright light to her right—over the road and far into the forest—caught her eye. It flickered, and Rose wondered who was waving a flashlight here at this hour.

  “Hello? Anybody?” Rose repeated, this time louder, but just as scared as the time before.

  She looked at the road at the ungodly amount of glass and nails. Things started to piece together in her mind just for a second, until the light flashed again and she remembered she needed to cross the road.

  Rose went down the grass until she found a spot in the road untouched by the nails and glass and crossed to the other side. The light was directly across from her, as if whoever was shining the flashlight was following her.

  “I see you!” Rose said. “I’m coming! I’m coming! I need help! Please! My friend is hurt! I’m hurt!”

  She chased after it, and crossed into the gateway of trees. There was silence all around her, save for the distant flickering of flames that soared to the sky. For some reason, and Rose was unsure what it might be, the fire almost made her smile.

  “Hello?” Rose coughed. “Whoever you are, I really need your help. Do you have a cellphone I can use? Do you—”

  The light disappeared and Rose stood frozen in ill-favored darkness. She wept and walked with her hands in front of her, just as the girl in the road had done.

  The girl, Rose wondered. Where did she—

  Rose turned around. All she saw was trees. She didn’t know if she was looking in the right direction. She wasn’t too far into the forest and should’ve still been able to see the road.

  “Shawn!” Rose yelled, and as she took a step further, a thought came to her. He’s all alone and hurt and it’s my fault! My fault! And if something happens to him, I can’t live with myself! I need him!

  A few more confused steps in the deep darkness, her hands outstretched in front of her to feel for branches or…

  Well, she did not want to think about what else could be lurking here in Raven Hill.

  Then the light shined two feet in front of her from a tree hollow at the nearest tree’s base. It felt familiar somehow. Her brain itched as she walked cautiously toward the familiar light.

  “Hello?” Rose said, although it was now clear to her now that the light came from a tree rather than a person.

  She knelt at the light, her hands reached for it.

  Ohmigod it feels so cold! It’s freezing!

  “Hiya, Rosie!” it said. “It’s time ya see something.”

  “Huh?”

  “Come a little bit closer, won’tcha Rosie dear?”

  Rose moved reluctantly closer and put her nose to the light.

  “Closer, Rosie, closer,” the damned voice said.

  Rose gulped. She stuck her head deep into the light.

  Chapter Twenty

  Rose saw it all.

  Emily Oakes woke up on the morning of her murder—to Carpenter, she had only disappeared—and yawned. It took her a minute to crawl out of bed and go into the bathroom to get ready. Even when she was dressed, her hair was straightened, and she was all ready to go, she was still yawning, and sleepiness hovered over her.

  She left the room and went down the stairs smiling. If she hadn’t forgotten her phone there on her headboard, it would have saved her life—but that was a thought that wouldn’t cross her mind for hours. She was someone who wasn’t attached to their phone in the first place; she did not mind leaving it behind—Emily was happy without it.

  It was a day like any other day, and she felt happier today, for a reason she couldn’t tell anybody. She was, perhaps, the happiest person in Carpenter, unaffected by the dreary black sky.

  Ah, her plans were perfect. She’d sneak off today to see the girl she was seeing in secret. She loved her. The one person she had trusted with the secret had told her that she might be too young to understand what love was, but Emily ignored it. Emily was happy with her secret.

  It wasn’t because her loved ones wouldn’t accept her—they would have. But Emily could not accept herself. She lied to herself, and Emily was only honest with Emily behind closed doors, where nobody could see. Disgust was all she could feel about herself. She knew it was wrong—it felt so wrong—but she wanted her secret girlfriend.

  So that was today’s plan: school, then her secret girlfriend. And if her phone was with her, she’d have answered the phone when her secret girlfriend called to tell her that she could not make it today, to tell her that she forgot she had a family thing.

  Emily stopped at the gas station and bought a donut and a soda and finished them on her walk to school. Thoughts of her girlfriend filled her mind; she felt so happy thinking about her, but those dark thoughts in the back of her mind always had a way of coming back through.

  It’s so totally wrong. Wrong, but I need her.

  Her hand went into her pocket. She realized for the first time that she had forgotten her phone—she pictured it there on the headboard, next to her headphones and some loose change.

  When she was a block away from school, she could’ve sworn there was an impossibly tall figure standing in the shadows at one end of the school. She blinked and it was gone, but she focused on the spot where it had been just to be sure. Nothing was there.

  It was on her mind for another hour; soon it left her thoughts and was replaced by daydreams of Shelly Hawthorn. Shelly was beautiful, and her smile so genuine, and she was always so attentive—Emily couldn’t have lusted for anyone more.

  And as she thought about her in second period, those thoughts of disgust crept back in.

  You know it’s wrong, a voice that didn’t seem to be her own said. Unnatural. And what will you do when Shelly says ‘I’m tired of being a secret’?

  Emily didn’t want to cry in class. She raised her hand and asked to go to the bathroom. When she got there, she cried in the stall.

  One classroom over, Rose, Valerie, and Shawn were in class, all equally unaware of how twisted their fates would become with the switch that would get Rose out of seeing her cousin Shelly.

  Rose felt silly at the time, and as she watched through the light in the hollow of the tree in Raven Hill, she remembered just how funny it all felt—how she couldn’t call it off, and the switch was entirely needless. And slowly, it pieced together in her mind. Most of the memories flooded back—but it hurt to think; her mind drifted back to Shawn and the car crash—but she couldn’t bring herself to pull her head out of the light.

  I will never get this chance again, I just know it, and maybe it’ll tell me who killed Valerie and Shelly and who the psycho I have to kill is.

  Emily looked into the mirror, wiped her eyes, and wished she could hide their redness. It
would be obvious she was crying. She hung her head and left the washroom, carefully shutting the door behind her. She passed through the empty hall. Maybe it was a good thing she’d never find out how few of these people missed her or thought about her once she vanished.

  Nobody said a word to her once she came back to the classroom and took her seat. She was invisible. That’s what made her so attracted to Shelly—Shelly noticed her. Shelly really cared, and Shelly really liked her. And Emily wondered why these chains were still around her; she wanted to tell the whole world about Shelly, but she was far too scared—too embarrassed with herself. Tears came, there was no way to hide them in class. Then a very quiet whimper bubbled up.

  Nobody noticed.

  Emily was invisible.

  After school, Emily asked herself, Why am I invisible?

  Then, Stop with these dumb thoughts. Nobody but Shelly matters anyway.

  Her thoughts were dangerous today. She wasn’t used to feeling depressed. For no reason, today was just one of those days. But she smiled as she left the classroom and headed to her locker. She’d be seeing Shelly soon, and that’s all that mattered. She’d be feeling better.

  Emily put the books she needed for homework tonight into her bag, spun the dial on her locker, then left Carpenter High. She reached for her phone for the first time since that morning. When it wasn’t there, she rolled her eyes and remembered that she forgot it.

  Emily hated walking. It would be almost twenty minutes on foot until she got there. She whistled to herself through dry lips—she couldn’t wait to arrive at Shelly’s and have a cup of water. When she was a block away, and the Hawthorns’ home came into view, the smile on her face was so big that nothing in the world could get rid of it.

  She knocked, waited a minute, then knocked again. Shelly’s father answered and let her in. At first, she was confused when she saw all the party stuff, and Mr. Hawthorn told her about the family gathering, then told her Shelly was in the basement room.

  So Emily went down to her, ready to surprise Shelly with a big kiss on the lips. In the basement, she opened the door to the room with all the books and movies and found Shelly cleaning. Shelly glanced at Emily, smiled, and said hello. Emily shut the door quickly then gave Shelly a hug.

  “I’ve missed you,” Emily said. Suddenly, everything in the world felt right, except for the little tug at her heart that reminded her how wrong it was. Unnatural.

  “Missed you too,” Shelly said. She didn’t hug back or give Emily much attention. She was still sweeping and didn’t set the broom down.

  Emily asked, “Are you even gonna look at me?”

  “Sorry, I just need to get this done or my parents’ll bitch at me all day,” Shelly said. “As if the party is in this room.”

  Emily kissed her. “I think you can take a break from cleaning.”

  Shelly pushed her away. “I totally want to, Ems. Totally. But not now, all right? I’ve—I’ve got to finish this, okay?”

  “I see,” Emily said. “Should I go?”

  “You totally should not,” Shelly said.

  “Is something bothering you?” Emily asked. “You don’t sound yourself, you don’t even look at me, what’s—”

  Shelly asked, “When will I stop being a secret?”

  “Soon.”

  Shelly rolled her eyes. “This hasn’t been going on long, and I adore you, but I’m either yours and you’re not embarrassed to say so, or we’re nothing.”

  “What’s gotten into you, Shelly? What is this?”

  “Nothing’s gotten into me,” Shelly replied. “I’ve been thinking about it, and how you’ve told me you’re still in the closet, and I think it’s wrong. I do not want to be with someone who can’t even love themselves. What, are you gonna lie about it forever? Because I’m totally not about that.”

  “Oh, come on—”

  “Do you love me?” Shelly asked.

  “Do I love you?” Emily said. “Can you honestly think for one moment that I don’t—”

  “Do you?” Shelly asked. “Do you love me?”

  Emily paused, then answered: “Of course—yes!”

  “Then maybe you can just tell me… what is the problem here?”

  “I don’t know,” Emily said. “I can’t do this.”

  Emily ran out of the room—Shelly did not try and stop her.

  Nobody wants me, Emily thought as she walked away from the house and never looked back. Should I just go away forever? Will they—will anyone notice?

  She hung her head and turned her attention to the ants on the sidewalk. It was a feeling she didn’t think she’d ever get used to. Being depressed felt like something that shouldn’t exist. Then, another couple blocks down, she realized she didn’t know where she was headed, but, as she recalled, when you don’t know where you’re going, any road will do. Emily was tired and leaned on a random yard’s fence, studying the sky and wondering what might exist past it—would she ever know?

  A tiny dog in the yard ran to the fence and barked at her. It was tiny and cute but made her jump nonetheless. She turned and smiled; its barks didn’t end. Emily sighed and slowly walked away. She didn’t want to exist anymore. All she wanted was Shelly… and she didn’t know if she could ever have her.

  And when she found that she was lost, when she realized she was on an empty road that she had never seen before, she sat down on the sidewalk beneath a tree and buried her face in her hands. The tears wouldn’t stop coming, but she didn’t care. Nobody would see her. They never really did. She was an invisible girl crying loudly, and nobody would hear.

  Later, after she was alone with her thoughts for a while, she noticed a car that was parked on the street a few feet down from her. She didn’t think about it, not at first. Not until a few minutes has passed and it was still there. One of the windows was cracked, and she could’ve sworn one of the voices was—

  She tilted her head and squinted. It was Shelly in the car with someone else she couldn’t see. She could just barely make out part of Shelly’s head, but it had to be her. At least, that’s what Emily hoped.

  “Shelly?” Emily called. Emily stood up, then said it again, “Shelly?”

  Valerie heard a voice coming from outside the car. She turned to Shelly. “Did you hear that?”

  “Hear what?” Shelly asked.

  Then there was a tapping on Shelly’s window. Shelly rolled it down.

  “Emily? What are you—”

  “I was just g-going for—for a walk,” Emily said. “But I’m lost now. Can you take me home?”

  Shelly looked at Valerie. “Can we?”

  Valerie nodded. “Sure.”

  Valerie unlocked the doors and Emily sat in the back seat. Then Valerie hit the locks and smiled.

  “Emily, this is my cousin Rose,” Shelly said. “You guys both go to Carpenter High.”

  Valerie turned to Emily, and said, “I’ve seen you around.”

  That’s when Valerie’s mind snapped and she knew what Athena Hendrasen meant by sick. The car became cold as a crypt. Valerie was filled with rage. The sickness deep within her was in full effect. She was no longer Valerie Hart—the true Valerie Hart died the moment she wrote the first word in that journal.

  Her finger pressed the button again to make sure all the doors were locked; the locks made a stiff noise in reply. She reached into her pocket for the pocket knife, and with a soft push of the button, the blade shot out.

  Valerie looked at the girls with a wicked smile and they looked at her with confusion. Valerie buried the blade in Shelly’s temple—she was dead in an instant. Blood squirted, and Shelly would be found with that same look of terror etched upon her face. Emily screamed. She didn’t know what to do—her hand reached for door, but Valerie climbed quickly to the back seat and held her down. Then Valerie’s hands gripped Emily’s neck and squeezed until Emily was no more.

  She didn’t disfigure her. Not yet.

  Valerie undressed Emily Oakes until she was naked, then Vale
rie stripped off all of her clothes. She switched outfits with Emily, then hurried to put Emily’s hair into a bun. That would’ve been a nasty one to forget—Emily needed to appear to be Rose.

  After their clothes were changed, she pushed the driver’s seat back, then put Emily in it. She knelt on top of Emily, pulled the knife from Shelly’s head, and hacked away at her damned face. The blood seemed to leak out as opposed to squirting. A grim smile ran across Valerie’s face with every marking she made on Emily Oakes’s now misshapen and unrecognizable face. It was the purest form of enjoyment and entertainment her twisted mind could imagine; she sliced and smiled. Lastly, once the face was destroyed, she dug her knife around the edge of one of Emily’s eyes, wedged it out, then cut it free. She put the eye in her pocket, then did the same thing to Emily’s nose.

  Valerie was happy with what she had done. She got off of Emily and moved the seat forward. Then she moved Shelly’s seat so there would be room for her. A thick ooze of blood had already drained from the opening in Shelly’s head, but it was not enough. Valerie’s eyes twitched. She raised the knife with both hands above her head, and it came down and sank into Shelly’s forehead. She removed it softly, then paused for a second to breathe; Valerie felt the sickness taking over the last ounce of sanity she might’ve had left.

  She pushed the knife through Shelly’s neck, twisted it, then pulled it out. She sliced shallow lines all across Shelly’s cheeks before suddenly going into a rage and rapidly tearing away at chunks of flesh on her face. And when Shelly was unrecognizable, Valerie cut out one of Shelly’s eyes, put it in her pocket, then cut off her nose.

  Valerie unlocked the door, stepped out, and made sure to relock it before closing the door after herself. Valerie and her blood-and-guts-stained outfit were hidden in the night. In her eyes were fire. There was a new voice taking over her mind and body. Any essence of Valerie was now truly lost forever.

  Talia was real and visited the unsuspecting descendants of the nameless paradise from which she came. Her homeland was lost to time—not a single remain of it would ever be found, but she longed for it. Images of the waterfalls surrounding the lost paradise perpetually filled her mind. She did not know what she was—she did not feel like a human anymore, and she did not age as they did, but she not feel like a ghost, either. She existed in an in-between plane of reality she could not describe. She still had a heartbeat. When she poked her finger, it still bled. But nobody could see her.