Meows, Magic, & Mayhem (Lake Forest Witches Book 4)

by Madison Johns

  “Is it possible, Hazel, that you could go over to Mr. Cooper’s house and tell him his dogs are loose? I'm afraid if we don't, I might never see my cats again. In case you forgot, they don't exactly know how to climb back down from a tree.”

  “Let me try something,” Noah said.

  Noah began to walk toward the tree and the barking dogs. Instead of the German shepherds growling or barking at Noah, they continued to bark up at the tree where a nervous Sassy and Gem were perched on a branch. Merlin, on the other hand, was dangling off a branch and making a terrible racket somewhere between a meow and growl. Petunia had an idea that Merlin was just too fat to climb up further. If he fell he’d be mincemeat!

  Petunia was so focused on the tree that when she turned, she realized Hazel was off to Mr. Cooper's house. She hoped that Mr. Cooper was at home and would be able to retrieve his dogs. It was five minutes of anxiety before a bald man entered Cora’s backyard with two red leashes. “Ginger and Henry, come here.”

  Petunia stared at the irritated Mr. Cooper when the dogs didn't respond. He walked over to the tree and secured the leashes to their collars so he could pull them through the yard and presumably back to his house. Petunia then climbed over the fence with the help of a lawn chair.

  “Merlin, Sassy, and Gem, come out of that tree this instant,” Petunia shouted.

  “You might want to soften your tone,” Noah recommended. “They’re rattled enough already.”

  Petunia sighed. She knew Noah was right, but she was worried about her cats and wanted them out of that tree. “Come on, kitty, kitty, kitty,” Petunia began, “I have some special treats waiting for you, kitty, kitty, kitty.”

  “Here, try this,” Aunt Maxine said, handing Petunia a box filled with cat treats.

  Petunia shook and shook the box to no avail. “They're never coming down,” Petunia cried.

  “If only you could spray the cats out of the tree with a hose,” Aunt Maxine suggested.

  “I highly doubt Cora would allow us to use her hose.”

  “I can’t imagine she's even home, otherwise she'd be out here yelling at you for allowing your cats to get in her yard.”

  “I still don't understand, how did my cats get in her yard? They rarely even go outside.”

  “Perhaps they saw a cat carrier in their future,” Pansy said.

  “I'm glad to see you, Pansy. Why don't you climb the tree and convince the other cats to climb down?”

  “You actually expect me to do that? I think not. I don't think I can climb a tree.”

  “You’re a cat, of course you can climb a tree. Please, Pansy.”

  Pansy jumped on the chair and then across the fence, grumbling, “For some reason, I don't think this is going to go well.”

  Pansy slinked across the yard until he stood at the base of the tree and glanced up. He then tentatively climbed the tree, only stopping when he was next to Merlin. “Climb down the tree, you stupid cat!”

  “Pansy, please speak more gently with Merlin, you know he considers himself a supreme being.”

  “He doesn’t look too supreme hanging from that branch.”

  “Please, Pansy, this is no time for jokes.”

  “Fine, but I have no idea how you expect me to get Merlin down.”

  “Can’t you at least try to communicate with him?”

  “I could I suppose, but I highly doubt Merlin could comprehend intelligent conversation,” Pansy said in an English accent.

  Petunia sighed. She didn’t have time to wait much longer. Why, Cora could come home at any moment.

  Pansy inched his way to position himself better in the tree and, with a flying leap, he jumped on Merlin, sending them both plummeting to the ground. Noah quickly raced forward to catch Merlin and Pansy, but they simply hit the ground paws first, unharmed.

  “See, they didn’t even have to use one of their nine lives,” Aunt Maxine remarked.

  “That’s good for Pansy and Merlin, but what are we going to do about Gem and Sassy? They are quite high in the tree,” Petunia said. “Pansy, would you please—”

  “No way am I going back up there, can’t you see that me and Merlin were almost killed?”

  “From my vantage point, you landed on your feet like most cats do. Besides, you weren’t really up that high.”

  “If Merlin was not up that high, why did you send me up there to get him?”

  “Actually, I believe I sent you up there to get all the cats down.”

  “Sorry, but that’s my only daredevil act for the day. In case you’re not aware, I can’t actually speak to the other cats. Sure, I meow and hiss, but I hardly think they can understand me.”

  “I just don’t know what we’re going to do now,” Petunia said. “Pansy won’t go back in the tree to get down the other cats.”

  Noah took a step toward Petunia. “What are you saying? You make it sound like you’re actually communicating with Pansy.”

  Petunia laughed. “I hardly think so. I’m not crazy, you know.”

  “That’s good to know. I suppose I could try to climb up the tree and get Sassy and Gem down.”

  Petunia stared up at the tree to where her cats were perched. “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea. I don’t want it on my conscience if you fall to your death.”

  “Believe me, I appreciate that, but I’d like to help you out and not just because we’re getting married next year.” He winked.

  Petunia wanted to tell him this was no time to joke, but she didn’t have the chance as Noah began to climb the tree. Fortunately, there were a few lower branches so he was able to climb easily enough, but he wasn’t able to climb any further as the branch that Sassy and Gem were on was much too small. They were also nearly invisible now among the leaves.

  “Should I call the fire department?” Petunia asked.

  “They don’t do that any longer,” Noah responded from above.

  “You could possibly cut down the branch,” Wanda suggested.

  “That sounds like a good idea. It’s too bad that the tree isn’t in my yard,” Petunia exclaimed.

  “Well, it doesn’t look like Cora is home right now,” Aunt Maxine said. “I can’t even imagine that she’d miss one little branch.”

  “Noah, can you please tell my aunt that’s illegal.”

  “Petunia’s right, we can’t do that. I don’t even own a chainsaw.”

  “Tell him there’s an ax in the shed,” Pansy blurted out.

  “I’m not about to get an ax out of my shed,” Petunia said out loud.

  “You have an ax in your shed, that’s perfect,” Noah exclaimed.

  Wanda precariously crossed the fence while Aunt Maxine ran to the shed.

  Petunia folded her arms over her chest. “Don’t ask me to go along with this because I’m not. I don’t need a lawsuit or the sheriff showing up at my house.”

  “It’s not like that’s never happened,” Aunt Maxine pointed out, as she handed the ax off to Wanda, who then carried it over to the tree.

  “It would be better if I had a ladder,” Noah said.

  “There’s one right over there,” Wanda replied.

  Noah retrieved the ladder and put it in place, then he began to climb while Wanda hurried to hold it still for him. At that point, Petunia didn’t know what to do other than hold the ladder, too. She knew it wasn’t the right thing to do, cutting a branch off Cora’s tree, but she didn’t want Noah to fall to his death, especially when he was helping her get her cats down.

  Petunia closed her eyes as Noah went to work on the tree, with wood chips falling. The entire time she couldn’t calm her nerves until both Noah and her cats were safely on the ground.

  With a loud cracking sound, she heard the branch give way and she opened her eyes and watched as it slowly lowered to the ground. Sassy and Gem were now free of the tree, but they raced toward yet another tree. Fortunately, Aunt Maxine got between the cats and the tree and they then detoured and jumped the fence, heading to Petunia’s house and
flying through the cat door until they were safely inside.

  Petunia was relieved, but as she stared at the branch now laying on Cora’s backyard, she said, “What are we going to do now? It’s not like Cora will miss seeing the branch laying in her yard.”

  “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it,” Noah said. “But it will have to wait until later. It seems now I’ll have to use a chainsaw to get rid of that branch.”

  “Cora is going to have a fit,” Petunia wailed. “She’s going to call the sheriff … I’m going to get arrested … there will be a lawsuit … she’ll tell everyone in town I cut down her branch to spite her for complaining about witches in Lake Forest.”

  “Go back inside Petunia and get your cats ready to go,” Noah said. “I’ll make sure I take the heat for this one when Cora finds out.”

  Petunia went back inside as Noah requested. It would be sweet if Noah took the blame, but Petunia didn’t want him to. This had all happened because of her cats and she’d find a way to make amends with Cora.

  Chapter 6

  Noah walked inside with a spring in his step. “I see you have your cats in the carriers now, or most of them, anyway.”

  “Don’t even think about putting me in one of those,” Pansy complained.

  “You have to go in a carrier, but I promise just as soon as I can take you out, I will.”

  “No you won’t, because I’m not going in one and that’s that. You can tell them I’m claustrophobic.”

  “I can’t imagine how I could explain that.”

  “What’s the matter?” Noah asked with furrowed brow.

  “I’m not sure how I’m going to get Pansy into the carrier, he won’t budge.”

  Wanda walked over and pick up Pansy and put him in the carrier. “See, it wasn't that difficult.”

  Petunia sighed as Pansy cried, “Please get me out of here, Red, I promise to be good.”

  “It's not about being good, I’m afraid. All of the cats at the show will be in carriers.”

  “You can put me in the big black bag yours.”

  “If I do that you could hardly be in the show.”

  “Fine, don't expect me to help you if you get into a jam.”

  “What kind jam could I possibly get into at a cat show?”

  Noah picked up Merlin and Gem’s carriers and Petunia had to stop him before he put them in his Mustang. “Wait, Noah, I'd rather have Pansy with me. Put Merlin and Gem into Aunt Maxine’s car.”

  “You seem to have separation anxiety when it comes to that cat, Petunia. It’s just not natural.”

  Petunia’s hands slipped to her hips. “Oh, it’s not, is it? Well, let me just tell you this. Pansy is very important to me. He’s a rescue cat and he needs more attention than the other cats. Besides, he’s very useful in doing things like opening up doors or sneaking into houses so I have a reason to go inside. You know, when we’re on a case.”

  “Now I know why he didn’t want to be in a carrier, he’s used to being on a leash, but unfortunately, he’ll have to deal with the carrier for now.”

  Noah put Merlin and Gem in Aunt Maxine’s car instead, with Sassy and Pansy in his Mustang.

  Just as they were ready to go, Hazel came running up the sidewalk. “Don’t leave without me.”

  “I wasn’t aware you were coming along,” Aunt Maxine said. “I thought you and Mr. Cooper were headed for the altar.”

  “Not quite yet, but he sure is a lonely man. Why, did you know his wife passed away, leaving him with two children to raise? And then he was forced to retire early from his teaching job.”

  “I hardly think we have time to talk about Mr. Cooper right now,” Aunt Maxine said. “We need to get to the cat show for registration.”

  “Where is Princess?”

  “No time to talk now, Petunia,” Aunt Maxine said. “We’ll be late.”

  They arrived at the cat show not long after and were barely able to find a place to park so the cats were dropped off in the front with Petunia. Fortunately, Aunt Maxine and her friends joined her moments later with two carriers as they had parked in a handicapped spot. Two eager volunteers rushed forward and assisted Petunia, carrying the carriers inside despite Petunia telling them to stop.

  “No need to worry, Miss, I assure you that we aren’t making off with your prized pets. Are you part of the home pets division?”

  “Yes, I suppose. Is there a difference?”

  “Why, yes, there’s the semi-pro and pro divisions. It would hardly be fair to put up a house cat against champion cats with pedigrees.”

  “Pedigrees.” Pansy groaned. “You don’t need a pedigree to win a cat show.”

  “I hope you preregistered,” the woman said. Petunia’s face lit up. “Of course I did.”

  “Did what?” Aunt Maxine asked.

  “Preregistered,” Petunia replied.

  “Good, then we won’t have any problems. You’d be surprised to know that there’s a waiting list for this show.”

  “Let me get this straight,” Noah began, as he joined Petunia and Aunt Maxine. “Cats need to be registered in advance? I didn’t realize that cat shows were that big of a deal.”

  When the woman gasped, Petunia quickly said, “Sorry, Noah here is more of a dog person.”

  The woman laughed. “Let me guess, he must be the boyfriend.”

  “Yes, they’re getting married next year and don’t know it yet,” Aunt Maxine said.

  Without further comment, the blonde said, “I’m Melanie and this is Tracy. If you can tell us your name, we can verify that your cats were preregistered.”

  “Petunia Patterson,” Wanda said. “Or you could try Maxine Patterson.”

  Petunia’s face dropped when the women left. “I didn’t know you had to preregister.”

  “You really must have faith and give magic a chance,” Aunt Maxine said. “There’s no telling what might happen if you have a little faith.”

  “That’s my cue to leave,” Noah exclaimed. “Petunia, you’re quite aware how I feel about magic.”

  “I am?”

  “I’m okay with the fact that I have a witch for a girlfriend, but when you actually believe magic is at work here … well, I just don’t know what to say. I’ll go see if I can convince the person running the contest that Petunia’s application was lost in the mail.”

  Melanie came back with a clipboard. “Please fill out your information and I’ll clear a space for your cats. Your aunt explained everything to us.”

  “Aunt?” Petunia asked in shock.

  “Yes, I thought you knew,” Melanie said. “She’s right over there,” she pointed out.

  Petunia glanced across the room to where Estelle Hoodwink stood raising a wine glass in greeting. “Why would Estelle clear the way for me to enter my cats?” she whispered to her aunt.

  “Maybe she wants to have a little friendly competition,” Wanda suggested with a shrug.

  “I can’t image this is a good thing,” Petunia worried, “but I shouldn’t put up a fuss. Perhaps Estelle has gotten over what happened at their house last night.”

  “After Pansy swallowed Maria’s parakeet?” Aunt Maxine asked in shock.

  “I really should take a look at the competition,” Noah said, as he hurried away.

  “What’s up with that young man of yours?” Aunt Maxine asked.

  “I don’t think he wants to hear about anything magical. He used to be a New York City detective. Cops focus on facts and there’s nothing about magic that comes close to that. He knows I make potions, not spells.”

  “You do know that your potions came from a spell book, right?” Aunt Maxine said.

  “So if that’s the case, it means you don’t have to be a witch to make a potion?”

  “I never said that, but why are we talking about this now?”

  “Uh-oh,” Wanda exclaimed. “Here comes Estelle and Maria!”

  Gulp. “Please don’t let Maria get her clutches on me,” Pansy whined. “I’m not able to defend mysel
f if I’m locked in this carrier.”

  “Don’t worry. I think it’ll be okay.”

  “You better not think, you better know, or let me out. Tell me you brought the leash.”

  “I can’t walk you around here on a leash.”

  “Why not?”

  “Do you see any other cats around here walking on a leash? Most cats don’t like to be on a leash.”

  “Most cats don’t have an owner who needs help solving cases.”

  “I hardly think I need your help, but I’ll agree having you along has its benefits.”

  “Well, look who it is,” Maria began. “I heard your cats were entered in the pet category, not like our American bobtail.”

  Petunia peered into the carrier Maria was holding, and said, “I thought you were bringing a Maine Coon.”

  “Well, with a little magic he’s now an American bobtail.”

  Petunia gripped Pansy’s carrier. “Did you also use magic to get us into this competition?”

  “No, I did,” Estelle said with a nod of her head. “This competition wouldn’t be any fun without you and those adorable cats of yours.”

  “I wonder.”

  “So, what did you tell the organizer to get us in since I forgot to preregister?”

  “It was magic.”

  “It was magic that they believed your story, you mean.”

  “I believe it was more of a slight of hand,” Aunt Maxine volunteered. “You know, like you added Petunia’s name in place of someone else.”

  “You have always been the smart one,” Estelle said.

  “You’ll have to excuse us, we need to go into the pedigree room now,” Maria said.

  Petunia would have grumbled if Melanie and Tracy hadn’t joined them. “It’s a small world,” Melanie said. “How strange that your aunt and cousin will be competing against you, Petunia, or I should say, against your cats.”

  “They’re in two different divisions, don’t forget,” Tracy reminded Melanie.

  “Follow us then and we’ll show you where to kennel your cats,” Tracy said. “I can’t wait to see what your cats look like.”

  “Kennel,” Pansy said. “What do they think I am, a dog?”