Apprehension and Desire: A Tale of Pride and Prejudice

by Ola Wegner

  Jane shook her head vehemently. “It is not necessary. That is too much trouble. I…”

  “I was about to buy a new mare for the stables anyway.” Darcy interrupted in a calm, sure voice, but Elizabeth could see that he said that just to ease Jane’s guilt over buying a new horse especially for her use.

  Jane bit on the corner of her lip, looking at her sister.

  “I will show you around the park another day.” Elizabeth smiled encouragingly.

  “It is settled then,” Darcy exclaimed with energy. “I will await you in front of the house in half an hour.”

  He made a move as if he was about to walk out of the stall, but then he must have changed his mind, because he stepped back to Elizabeth, wound his arm around her and placed a quick kiss on her cheek.

  When he was gone, both sisters blushed deeply, Jane, because she had involuntarily witnessed the tender moment between the couple, and Elizabeth, because the longer she was married, the harder she found it to resist her husband’s ways.

  ***

  Before taking the direct road to the Cowlishaw’s farm, Elizabeth insisted on stopping by the store in Lambton, where she wanted to buy small trinkets for the girls. Together with Jane, they decided on the bright ribbons for the two eldest girls and a doll for the youngest.

  Jane was very curious about the orphaned girls, and she asked a lot of questions about them during the few mile drive. Elizabeth answered the best she could, describing her last visit, when she had met the girls.

  The day was almost sunny and rather warm, so despite it being the middle of January, they took an open carriage so that Jane could see more of the countryside. Darcy drove himself and stopped the carriage in front of the house first, but when it appeared to be quiet, with no sight of the host or his daughters, he drove right to the stables.

  Darcy handed the women down and went to look for Mr. Cowlishaw. Before he managed that, three little red haired girls ran out of the stable, gathering around Elizabeth and Jane. Elizabeth introduced Jane to them and distributed the presents.

  “They are so sweet.” Jane whispered to her sister as the girls were occupied with admiring their ribbons. The youngest one, Mary, tugged on Jane’s skirt and lifted her small arms to her. Without hesitation, Jane picked her up.

  The child watched her with wide green eyes before placing her head on Jane’s shoulder.

  “Papa!” Becky, the middle girl cried, and together with her elder sister they ran to their father approaching at a fast pace.

  The girls tried to show their father their gifts, but he seemed to ignore them, his eyes drawn to Jane, still holding Mary in her arms.

  “Mr. Cowlishaw thinks he has something appropriate for us,” Darcy said as he reached Elizabeth.

  “Pray forgive us this unannounced visit, sir,” Elizabeth said with smile.

  Cowlishaw, however, did not answer the Darcys’ enquiries. His full attention was on Jane, who held his gaze boldly.

  Elizabeth looked up at Darcy, who answered her with a frown of his own.

  “This is my sister-in-law I told you about, Cowlishaw, Miss Bennet,” he said formally. “ We would like to buy a horse for her stay here.”

  Cowlishaw bowed at last. “Tis a great honour to meet you, Miss Bennet.”

  Jane smiled sweetly, showing the row of perfectly even, snow white teeth and two dimples in rosy cheeks.

  “Sir.” She curtseyed with much politeness.

  “I see that my youngest has already claimed you,” he spoke as he took his daughter from Jane’s arms. Mary tucked her head on his chest, wrapping around him like a little monkey. “Forgive her. She is very clingy.”

  Jane smiled gently. “She was not a burden. On the contrary, I like children.”

  “We were to see the horse,” Darcy reminded, his voice matter of fact.

  Cowlishaw acknowledged Darcy with a short glance before his eyes returned to Jane. “What kind of horse would you prefer, Miss Bennet?” he asked, his voice almost soft in tone.

  “A gentle mare. I am not much of a horsewoman, very much like my sister.” Jane acknowledged, all blushes.

  “Let us go then.” Darcy grunted.

  In the spacious stables, Jane followed her brother-in-law, who pointed to a brown mare with gentle eyes. It was bigger than Elizabeth’s Star, but as Jane was much taller than her sister, it seemed appropriate for her. The animal was brought outside, so Darcy could see how it walked.

  “Would you like to try her, Miss Bennet?” Cowlishaw asked, as he stepped behind Jane, when she stroked the horse’s black mane.

  Jane’s eyelashes fluttered. “Yes.”

  Cowlishaw cried to bring the tack. When the horse was saddled, Jane looked around. “There is no mounting block.”

  Darcy moved forward, ready to help Jane, but their host was quicker. “Allow me,” he said, and without further asking, put his gloved hands around Jane’s waist and lifted her on the horse without much visible effort.

  A small gasp escaped the lady’s lips as she took the hold of the reins. She kicked the mare gently with her heel, and the animal obediently went into a slow trot.

  Cowlishaw followed the horse and the rider, leaving the Darcys behind.

  “What is he thinking?” Darcy muttered furiously, puffing. “Staring at her like that. Taking liberties, when lifting her on the horse. It is unacceptable.”

  “If I remember correctly, you did exactly the same for the first weeks of our acquaintance. You constantly stared at me.” Elizabeth reminded him sweetly.

  Darcy gave her his worst scowl. “You cannot compare those two situations. He is a farmer.”

  Elizabeth shrugged. “You are a farmer too, strictly speaking.”

  He shot her an outraged look. “You know very well what I mean,” he insisted. “It is not his business to look like that at a gentlewoman and closely related to Darcys too.”

  “You admitted yourself that Jane was a beautiful woman. Can you blame that a man can admire my sister?”

  “Elizabeth, do not try my patience, pretending you do not take my meaning…” he started, but she interrupted him.

  “Hush. They are coming back. Besides, you do exaggerate. He was only looking.”

  ***

  The rest of January passed peacefully at Pemberley. Jane was so quiet and unassuming, that Darcy most of the time barely noticed her presence and soon treated her as another family member. Elizabeth seemed most happy with having her beloved sister so close, and Darcy thought about asking Jane to stay with them permanently. Knowing his mother-in-law, the poor girl had no home to go back to, after she had rejected Bingley. More importantly, it would make Elizabeth happy to have her beloved sister so close. Darcy also thought that in time he would find Jane a suitable husband so she could settle nearby.

  By the end of the month, a letter came from Viscount Cranborne. Edward shared the happy news that his father had reconciled himself completely with the thought of his son getting a divorce from his current wife. The earl had accepted both little James and his mother, calling her his daughter. The Matlocks planned to go together to London to start the legal procedure as soon as could be. Lady Matlock was about to join them as well, to show her support for the matter of her son’s divorce and use her influence in the town’s social circles to draw the public opinion to their side. The viscount asked in his letter whether Amy and the baby could not stay for a few months with the Darcys, as he dreaded to leave her in an empty house for so long.

  The answer to the letter from Pemberley was promptly sent back, inviting Edward’s family for a prolonged stay. To Elizabeth, Jane, and Georgiana’s joy, Amy and the baby were expected in the first days of February to stay till the summer.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  "Amy, he is so adorable!” Jane exclaimed, as his picked up little James Fitzwilliam from the floor just as the baby tried to crawl busily across the room to the pianoforte where Georgiana was playing a merry melody especially for him.

  “Can you imagine t
hat he is already trying to lift himself up and constantly attempts to get out of his crib?” Amy announced proudly. “And he is only eight months old.”

  “A brave boy. Brave boy.” Jane bounced the baby in her arms, lifting him up higher and higher till James squeaked in joy, his legs kicking in the air, his blue eyes widening.

  The first days of the boy’s stay at Pemberley, when he had been shy of the new surroundings and people, clinging to his mother and often crying, had passed slowly. Now he felt more than comfortable with all the attention he was given daily by the four women in the house, his mother, Elizabeth, Georgiana and Jane. There were always awaiting arms ready to carry him around, bring him toys and play with him.

  Darcy tried to interject, suggesting that the baby would become impossibly spoiled with all that attention, but he was mostly ignored. Elizabeth left the boy on his lap a few times, and the child seemed to accept his company and did not cry, but only stared at him, unblinking. All Darcy knew was that once the boy was carried into the room, he, the Master of the place, was instantly forgotten.

  ***

  “Lizzy, who is the gentleman Jane is talking to?” Amy asked, adjusting the cap around James’s head so he would not get cold. They were taking their walk with the baby as they had every day. The boy was well bundled against the cold, so that only part of his face was uncovered.

  Elizabeth turned her head in the pointed direction to see her sister on the other side of the gulley, talking with a well built, bulky man.

  “It is Mr. Cowlishaw.”

  “Who is he?”

  “Our neighbour. He breeds horses.”

  “A farmer?”

  Elizabeth nodded. “Yes, and a very prosperous one, I hear. He is a widower and has the three most adorable little daughters. His wife died in childbirth.”

  Amy shifted the baby on her arm to see the couple better and narrowed her eyes. “Jane smiles at him a lot.”

  Elizabeth lowered her voice. “I think that she likes him. She is usually rather reserved with men, not showing her true feelings to them.”

  “She gives him an encouragement then?”

  “I believe so. I saw how she smiled quite openly at him the other day when we saw him in Lambton.”

  “I wonder if he would be bold enough to ask for her hand,” Amy mused. “Jane is the daughter of a gentleman, after all.”

  Elizabeth peered at her sister and Mr. Cowlishaw who were walking towards them unhurriedly. “Mr. Cowlishaw is a mature man who knows what he wants, and it seems to me that is exactly why my sister likes him.”

  “I hope that she realizes that a farmer may expect more from her as far as household duties are concerned than someone from her own social background,” Amy noted.

  Elizabeth frowned. “Do you think so?” she hesitated, “He hires a housekeeper and other servants, so I do not expect he would want her to actually clean or cook. Besides, Jane knows her own mind at this point. She is of age, and though she would wish for our parents’ blessing, she will act in the way she considers the best for her future happiness.”

  The conversation was stopped because Mr. Cowlishaw and Jane approached them.

  “Mrs. Darcy.” He bowed. He must have heard who Amy was, because he placed another deep bow in front of her. “I came to see your husband. I have some news from Lambton which I think should interest him.”

  “He is in the study,” Elizabeth explained with kind smile. “Jane, would you be so kind as to show Mr. Cowlishaw the way.”

  ***

  Elizabeth ran the brush through her hair a few last times, put the brush away on her vanity and walked to the bed. She removed her robe and slippers and slipped under the covers.

  William sat silently, his back supported against the pillows, his dark brow furrowed.

  “You have been distracted the entire evening,” Elizabeth said as she snuggled against her husband’s side.

  Darcy brought her closer, his arm tightening around her, and he kissed the top of her head.

  “What is troubling you?” she asked after a moment.

  His only response was a sigh.

  “Tell me,” She stroked his stomach, knowing he liked that. “You will feel better.”

  “Do you remember how I told you about that tenant who neglected his farm because of heavy drinking? I considered terminating his lease and finding someone different for his place.”

  Elizabeth frowned in recollection. “Yes, I do remember. Kirby is his name, am I correct?”

  “Yes, that is him/he.”

  “Was he the reason for Mr. Cowlishaw’s visit today?”

  Darcy nodded. “Cowlishaw heard him to speak loudly of how I mistreated him. Kirby threatened me, us, the Darcys, in the public house in Lambton. ”

  Elizabeth lifted on her arm. “What sort of threats?”

  “I should not have told you that,” he said regretfully. “I only scared you.”

  She shook her head. “Of course you should, and I am not scared, just worried. What came into that man to tell such tales in the public place in Lambton? Do you think he intends to act on this?”

  “No, of course not, sweetheart. ” Darcy’s voice was calm as he hugged her closer. “He would have to be mad, and he has no means to fulfil his threats, but, still, it requires my taking some decided actions towards him. I hear that his wife left him, returned to her family, but still I do not want to throw him out of the house in the middle of the winter.” A frustrated groan escaped him, his fingers tightening on her rounded arm, “I do not understand. I was always fair to him, same as to the others.”

  “Some people are just not willing to work hard and live a good life,” Elizabeth pointed out, her voice calm. “You cannot change him. Even worse, trying to help him, you can only harm yourself.”

  Darcy sighed. “This situation reminds me of Wickham.”

  “I believe that in dealing with such people, the most important rule is to protect yourself, and the others as well, from their bad influence. You did talk to him and wanted to give him a chance on the condition he would stop drinking.”

  “You are right,” he agreed, his voice firmer. “I need to be more decisive about this. I cannot show weakness now.”

  “What will you do?”

  He hesitated, “I do not know yet. Perhaps I will need to remove him from the cottage using force. I just need a few days to prepare everything.”

  “Nobody will think that you are doing wrong or any injustice to him.” Elizabeth assured, “Everyone here knows you as a compassionate and fair Master.”

  Darcy was still tense, so she shifted her position and drew him to her, cradling him in her arms. “Do not think about it now. Your worrying cannot change anything, and it will only add to your overall exhaustion. Just close your eyes.” She touched his face gently. “Try to rest.”

  He buried his head into her midsection, his eyes closed. “My Lizzy,” he whispered, as she kept stroking him.

  ***

  Joseph Cowlishaw was on his way back home from Lambton where he had unsuccessfully tried to hire new servants . He was again left without a housekeeper. The one sent from Pemberley last summer had left a few days ago, taking along her niece, who had served as both maid and nanny to the girls. He was well aware that he could not go on like that for much longer without help. Girls required attention, and the right upbringing, and he was too busy to take proper care of them. He needed to remarry soon. A very young girl was out of question. He wanted a more mature woman, sensible, and with experience running a household and bringing up children.

  He had been looking around the neighbourhood for the right candidate, and there were two stately, childless widows who he knew would accept his offer. They seemed decent enough, but he dreaded to trust them with the girls. Neither did he feel attracted to either of them; he could not imagine taking those women to his bed.

  Mrs. Darcy’s sister was a totally different matter. With her, he would have no trouble fulfilling his marital duties. On the contrary,
he would have been barely able to hold till the night time to bed her. She would have very little sleep as his wife. What a woman she was. He had never in his life seen such a beauty. She could pose as an angel. He was surprised that Darcy had chosen the little dark-haired woman of his instead of her elder sister, but love was blind, they said, and the Master of Pemberley was certainly in love with his wife, any man could see that.

  Joe was not a fool, and he knew that Darcy’s sister-in-law was far beyond his reach. Although, he had heard from a good source that Mrs. Darcy, though the daughter of the landed gentleman, had no dowry to speak of. It explained why Jane Bennet had not married so far, because he could not believe that there had not been at least several men who had been seriously interested in her. He had talked to her twice so far and had seen her once in Lambton where she had been with her sister and Miss Darcy. She had smiled at him across the street that day, and he had felt her favour for him; he had no doubt about that. However, he knew her too little to be sure of the sincerity of her intentions, and he had to be cautious. There was always a possibility that she simply toyed with him. Darcy could easily acquaint her with his well connected and wealthy friends. Why should such a beautiful woman, almost a goddess, have any reason to choose him, a farmer, over some landlord, perhaps even a titled one? Such things did not happen.

  Contrary to his private life, his business had done surprisingly well in recent years. Financially, he could certainly afford to marry Miss Bennet and even ensure her all the comforts she was used to, like nice clothes and home servants so she did not have to cook, wash and scrub the floors like his first wife had done at the beginning when he had been less affluent. His first marriage had been for practical reasons - his parents had chosen his wife, and he had cared for Janet in his own way and mourned her loss. It seemed that his second union would be very much the same, only worse, because how could he develop feeling for this or that widow with the embodiment of his dreams and desires living a few miles away? He shook his head. He had to be realistic; he had three daughters to raise, and that should be his goal. On the other hand, Jane Bennet was perfect for the girls, as she would have made real ladies out of them. Who could teach them better how to behave and speak in polite society than a gentleman’s daughter?