Reckless Memories

by Catherine Cowles

  “You don’t have to explain, Ford.”

  He brushed his lips against mine. “I want to explain.” He took a deep breath. “The last person I said those words to died. I haven’t said them since. Not to my parents, to Hunter, to anyone. I didn’t realize it, but I was holding those words back out of fear. As some form of misguided self-protection. And I hurt the people I love most because of it.”

  My heart broke a little more for the boy who’d lost so much so long ago, whose broken bones hadn’t quite healed right, and now he had to reset them to make sure everything worked again. I pressed a kiss to his stubbled jaw. “Thank you for giving me the words.”

  He grinned. “I’ll give them to you as many times as you want.”

  I bit my bottom lip. “Like now?”

  Ford took my mouth in a long, slow kiss. “I love you.”

  “And now?”

  He trailed his tongue down the side of my neck, catching stray droplets of water. “I love you.”

  I gripped his waist harder. “Show me.”

  Ford pulled back, his eyes burning a deeper shade of blue. “Trouble, you’ve been through a lot tonight.”

  I pulled him tighter against me, his body hardening beneath my hands. “I need this, need you, need to know that I’m alive.”

  Ford dropped his forehead to mine, breathing deeply. “I can never deny you.”

  “Good.” I took his cock in my hand, guiding us back into the spray. I took my time exploring Ford’s body, my fingers testing each dip and curve, discovering what movements drove him crazy.

  I swept a thumb over the head of him, and he hissed out a breath. “I need inside you.”

  My core tightened at his statement. “Please.”

  It was the only word he needed. With a smooth shift of his position, Ford glided in. His strokes were slow and deliberate, one hand braced on the wall behind my head, the other cupping my face. He never once looked away. He was imprinting himself on me, body and soul. With each stroke and caress, with each brush of his lips and nip of his teeth. And when I came, it was with the bone-deep knowledge that I was his, now and forever.

  Ford wrapped me in one of the massive fluffy towels in his bathroom. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “I’m fine.” I studied his movements. “But you look like your shoulder is bothering you.”

  He winced slightly. “I think I might’ve tweaked it tonight.”

  My stomach sank. Of course he’d tweaked it, he’d lifted a human being over the side of a cliff. “We need to get it checked.”

  “I will, after you get checked out.”

  I growled at him. “I don’t think it’s smart for us to wait until tomorrow. Maybe we should catch a boat into Seattle and go to the ER.”

  Ford rubbed the back of his neck with his uninjured hand. “Actually, your dad’s here. He’s in the kitchen with Crosby, Hunter, and the girls.”

  My face heated. “You had sex with me while my father was in the house?”

  Ford pressed his mouth into a hard line, as if he were trying really hard to keep from laughing. “You were the one who was all ‘show me, Ford.’”

  “I’m going to kill you.” It was going to be a slow and painful death, too.

  Ford pulled me into his arms. “He’s worried about you. Said he wanted to check you over himself, see if you needed to go to a hospital.”

  “It’s just a few bumps and scrapes.”

  Ford gently lifted my arm to examine my wrist. “This isn’t just bumps and scrapes.”

  I winced at the raw, exposed flesh. “I’ll let him examine me if you get your shoulder looked at first.”

  “Deal.”

  Ford was dressed in a matter of seconds while I delayed. I wasn’t sure I was ready to face my dad. He felt like a stranger now instead of the man who had raised me. I glanced up at Ford. “You go ahead, get that shoulder examined. I’ll be out in a minute.”

  Ford studied me carefully. “Are you sure?”

  I nodded. “Go.”

  He went, and I carefully slipped one of Ford’s tees over my head. The worn cotton was perfectly soft, just what I needed in this moment. I pressed a hand to my chest, where I knew the tattoo and mottled skin lay below. “I need you with me for this one, sissy.” I couldn’t hear her, but I knew she was there.

  I took a deep breath and headed out of the bedroom, moving towards the muted voices in the kitchen.

  “I’m going to order an MRI and set you up with a specialist I know in Seattle. I’ll call him first thing in the morning and make sure he gets you in this week.”

  “Thank you, Dr. Kipton.”

  “Please, call me Bruce.”

  I hovered at the edge of the kitchen until Caelyn caught sight of me. “Bells! How are you feeling?”

  I wrapped her in the thirtieth hug I’d given her tonight. “I’m fine, I promise.”

  “Let’s let your dad be the judge of that, Trouble.”

  I glared at Ford, who just chuckled.

  “Please,” my dad said. “I’d like to check you over to make sure there’s nothing the EMTs missed.”

  I nodded, slowly heading towards the kitchen bar, where my father had set his medical bag. He looked different, older, and a little harried. I was surprised that my mother had let him out of the house in his track pants and a rumpled sweatshirt. I eased up on one of the stools and Ford was instantly at my back.

  My father’s gloved hands were gentle, reassuring. The feel of them heartbreakingly familiar. How many times had he lifted me up onto the kitchen counter to tend to a skinned knee or twisted ankle? Tears burned the backs of my eyes, but I refused to let them fall.

  “I’m so sorry this happened to you, Bell.”

  I jolted at the sound of my nickname coming out of his mouth. Not once had he ever used it before, not even when we were alone. I swallowed against the emotion gathering in my throat. “I really am okay.”

  “I’m just going to get these wrists and ankles cleaned and bandaged. You should keep them covered for the next few days, at least.”

  “Okay. Thank you.”

  We stayed silent as he worked, Ford rubbing a hand up and down my back and occasionally dropping a kiss to my head.

  My dad snapped off his gloves, throwing them into the trash. “All done.” He glanced around the room and then back to Ford and me. “I was wondering if I could have a private word with you and Ford?”

  I stiffened, but Ford squeezed my shoulder. “Of course.”

  “We should be going anyway,” Kenna offered.

  Hunter pressed a quick kiss to my cheek. “Call me if you need anything.”

  “Me, too,” Caelyn said. “I’ll bring you guys dinner tomorrow night.”

  “Thank you.” I smiled at her.

  “I can’t bring dinner, but I can bring beer,” Crosby said with a grin.

  Kenna muttered something under her breath and gave Crosby a hard shove towards the door. When the sound of the front door closing reached us, I looked at my dad. “What is it?”

  He sighed, easing himself onto one of the stools. “I tried to be a good father, but I can see now that I made a lot of mistakes along the way.”

  He rubbed a hand over his face and looked deeply tired. I couldn’t help the way my heart squeezed in sympathy. I swallowed, my throat having gone dry. A part of me wanted to reassure him that he had been a good dad, but there was so much pain and hurt standing in the way of those words. Instead, I opted for silence. Ford pressed in at my back, and I grabbed hold of his hand, twining our fingers.

  My dad let out a breath. “Violet was always the easy child. She just went along. Didn’t ask why. Seemed happy to do whatever your mother and I asked. But you…” He chuckled. “You always wanted to know why, always went against the grain. I should’ve seen that quality in you for the strength it is, but instead, your mother and I got easily frustrated. I’m sorry for that.”

  The threat of tears reemerged, but I forced them back and nodded for Dad to go on.


  “Your mom and Violet had cheerleading and their charity work to bond over. Violet and I would always talk about medicine. It was effortless. I should have found things to do with you, Bell. I should’ve taken up drawing or painting or…something.”

  My breath hitched. “It’s not that we didn’t enjoy the same things that hurt. It’s that you wanted me to be someone else. You wanted me to be Violet. Especially after she was gone.”

  My dad’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “You’re right. I never should’ve pushed you like that. Let your mom push you. I’m so sorry if you ever felt alone in our home or somehow unworthy.”

  “I wasn’t alone. I had Ford.” As much as I loved my sister, she didn’t understand me either. It was Ford who had always been there, gently encouraging me to follow my own path.

  Dad gave me a gentle smile. “I’m so glad you did. Thank you, Ford, for loving both my daughters and treating them so well.”

  Ford’s hand spasmed in mine. “You’re welcome, sir.”

  My dad sighed. “I’m not sure if sharing what I have to tell you is the right thing or not, but I’ve shared it with Sheriff Raines, so I feel it’s only right to give it to you, as well.”

  My stomach pitched, and I gripped Ford’s hand tighter. “Okay…”

  “A few weeks before the accident, I was up late catching up on chart notes for the month. Violet came home past her curfew, which was so unlike her. When I stopped her in the hallway, she dissolved into tears. I brought her into the kitchen and made her a cup of tea, told her that whatever it was, we could talk it out, the way we always did.”

  Dad was lost in the memory as if he were back there at the kitchen table with Vi. “She said she’d made the worst mistake of her life. I told her that everything was fixable, we just needed to talk it through. That’s when it all came tumbling out. She’d had too much to drink at a party and slept with someone that wasn’t Ford. She slept with Ethan.”

  Ford froze. The only movement I could feel in his body was the beat of his heart. No one said a word. With a whoosh of breath, something in Ford eased. He wrapped his other arm around me, even though I knew the pain in his shoulder had to be killing him. “We were so young. Babies, really. We were bound to make mistakes. It would’ve hurt something fierce back then, but now…I just hate that she lived with all that guilt.”

  I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. Tipping my head down, I pressed my lips to Ford’s arm. He pulled it tighter around me. “I guess we know what made Ethan fixate on her even more.”

  Dad gave his head a small shake. “I guess so. The sheriff should be able to put all of the pieces together. But what’s important for you two is the why.”

  “Why what?” I asked.

  My dad met my gaze head-on. “Violet saw something before any of the rest of us. She was beginning to realize that she and Ford might not be a forever match, but that you and Ford might be.”

  “What?” That was ridiculous. Vi loved Ford like crazy. Sure, she’d messed up, but…my thoughts trailed off as Dad interrupted.

  “Violet always saw the bond between you two. Knew you shared something special. Something she thought might turn into more than friendship when the time came.” He looked from Ford to me. “She was trying to gather her courage to step out of your way.”

  A faint shudder ran through Ford’s body. “She told me there was something important we needed to talk about that weekend. We were going to hike out to our spot and talk. I thought it was about our college plans.”

  My dad gave Ford a sad smile. “She was trying to let you go.”

  Epilogue

  Bell

  TWO MONTHS LATER

  “So, what do you think?” I nibbled on my bottom lip as I watched Caelyn take in the space around us. I tried to picture it through her eyes. It was small, but my wallet needed that when I was starting out. And the location couldn’t be beat. Right on Main Street, prime for all the tourist traffic.

  The shop itself was long and narrow, but I was already visualizing how I could best fit my furniture pieces into the space. I’d started picking up little bits and bobs that could be used as decoration and later sold to shoppers. But the best part of all was that there was an old storage space behind the row of stores that was currently going unused. The landlord was giving me access for just a couple hundred dollars more each month. It would be my workshop and storage unit for overflow pieces. If a customer was looking for something specific that I didn’t have up front, I could take them to the workshop.

  Caelyn beamed. “It’s absolutely perfect. When are you going to open?”

  My belly did a series of what felt like cartwheels and backflips, a mixture of excitement and nerves. “I’m hoping to be up and running in two months. There’s still a lot of work to be done. I want to refinish the floors, change the paint—”

  Caelyn reached out and grabbed my hands. “You’ll get it there. Have you settled on a name?”

  “Second Chances.” It was perfect in every way, for the furniture and for me.

  Caelyn sniffed. “I love it.”

  “Don’t you cry on me, Caelyn. If you cry, I’m going to cry, and then when Kenna gets here, she’ll make fun of both of us.”

  Caelyn laughed and pulled me into a hug. “Okay, okay. So dang proud of you, Bell.”

  I soaked up the warmth of her love and support, simply taking a moment to think about just how fortunate I was. “Thanks for being here every step of the way.”

  Caelyn and Kenna had stuck close to my side ever since that night two months ago, lending their shoulders, ears, and whatever else I might need. Ford had joked that he was going to need a bigger house, or at least a bigger couch, if Caelyn and Kenna were moving in.

  My whole family had been amazing. Hunter, Crosby, the girls, the Hardys, and Ford had been with me every day of Ethan’s trial. Making me laugh when I thought it would be impossible, holding me when I needed to cry it out. They were the family I’d built for myself, and I couldn’t love them more.

  The biggest surprise of all had been my father. He’d started showing up. It began with a couple of coffee dates, but now he was learning to restore furniture right alongside me. He’d said that he’d need a hobby when he retired from his island practice in a few months. We were getting to know each other for what felt like the first time.

  My mom had not come around. In fact, the growing closeness between Dad and me had turned her venom up a notch. But it didn’t bother me the way it used to. Instead of feeling hurt, I just felt sad for her. My dad did not share my sentiments. After years of trying to talk her around, he’d finally served her with divorce papers a month ago and was living in my apartment above the bar while he looked for a house.

  “Does the store meet Ford’s approval?”

  I groaned. “Barely.” Ford’s overprotectiveness had not lessened all that much and spanned every aspect of my life. That included wanting me to have the best storefront money could buy. His money. It took many long conversations to make him understand that I needed to do this on my own. Or mostly on my own anyway. I fully intended to use his muscles to help me lift furniture and rehab the space.

  Caelyn chuckled. “Have you two made the move-in official?”

  “Not yet.” A week after Ethan’s attack, Ford had made it clear that I was staying with him. It had been hard for him to even let me out of his sight for a time. And I gave that to him, slowly easing distance back in for a girls’ night or a trip to another island to hunt estate sales. But I’d never left his house. Hadn’t wanted to.

  And now, Ford was officially making Anchor Island his permanent home. He’d placed his bars in the capable hands of his manager, Luke. He just flew down every other month or so to check on things, meet with the staff, and the like. I’d even flown down with him last time, and LA wasn’t as bad as I’d thought it would be. But Anchor would always be our home.

  “I bet he’ll ask when he gets the keys to the new place.”
r />   My stomach flipped. I wanted him to. Ford had gotten better at giving me the words along with his actions. He told me he loved me every single day, and I never tired of hearing it. But he still didn’t always realize that certain things needed to be discussed. Things like officially asking your girlfriend to move in with you. He probably just assumed I’d come along for the ride. It was only a little frustrating. Mostly, it was adorable.

  I grinned at Caelyn. “I’m meeting him over there after this.”

  Caelyn gave a little squeal and jump as she clapped. “And then you’ll show me and Kenna tomorrow, right?”

  I laughed. “I don’t even know if I’ll be living there.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Like that man is going to let you sleep without him.” She had a point.

  The antique bell over the door jingled. I turned and gasped. “What in the world?” Kenna stood in the doorway, not stepping inside, drenched from head to toe. “What happened?”

  Color rose in her cheeks. “Crosby.” She said his name in a growl.

  I had to press my lips together to keep from laughing. “He threw you in the dunk tank?”

  “No—I—I can’t even talk about it. I am going to take sweet, sweet revenge on that man, though. I don’t know what it’s going to be, but it’s going to be epic. Like pink dye in his shampoo bottle.”

  Caelyn laughed. “But don’t you have a date in like two hours?”

  “I did. Obviously, I had to cancel.” She blew out a breath. “Can one of you give me a ride home?”

  “I will,” Caelyn offered. “Bell has to go check out her new digs.”

  Kenna’s eyes widened. “Did he ask?”

  “No, he did not ask me to move in.” I whirled on Caelyn, giving her a mock glare. “Stop getting my hopes up.”

  Caelyn smacked a kiss on my cheek. “Your hopes should always be up.”

  My car eased around the curve of the private lane that led to Ford’s new house. The warm breeze cut through my open window, the faint scent of the sea and the blissful quiet easing something in me. This truly was the perfect property. It wasn’t that I didn’t like Ford’s rental, but it was so sterile, almost overly modern. I’d always been afraid I would break something worth thousands of dollars.