Daddy Secrets

by Mia Carson

  It also bothered me the police didn’t believe her. I knew the cops in town were honest, and if there’d been even a scrap of evidence to support her story, they’d have pursued it to the end. Apparently, Steve never denied they’d had sex, only the charges of rape. But even if she did decide to fuck him, we’d been so careful. Why would she suddenly throw caution to the wind and ride him bareback when she wasn’t on the pill? She was smarter than that, and two beers shouldn’t have been enough for her to forget what could happen.

  The other problem with the story is Cat was her best friend. I couldn’t see Cat drugging her just to get her in trouble or as a joke. That made no sense. Cat was wild as a March hare, but because she and Ella were close, she’d always respected Ella’s boundaries and never tried to poach me or steer Ella to someone else.

  Finally, there was Steve, who’d always been an asshole. He might have been good looking, and he certainly had his share of female companionship, Ella was among the group of girls in school that didn’t like him. Even if she had decided to cheat on me, I had a hard time imagining her doing it with Steve Calhoun.

  “I don’t know, Dad. I know she believes it. Whether it’s actually true or not, I can’t say.”

  “You need to stay away from this. Don’t go looking for trouble.”

  “I’m not.”

  He nodded. “What’s done is done. You can’t change it.”

  “I know.”

  “You just need to move on with your life.”

  “I know,” I said, my tone slightly sharper. I knew he was trying to look out of for me, but I was twenty-five years old. I wasn’t a kid anymore. “We’re done. I had to twist her arm to even get her to talk to me. She clearly has no interest in me anymore.”

  “That’s good, but what about you? Are you still interested in her?”

  “No, I guess not. It was good to see her again, but as you said, what’s done is done and I can’t change it.”

  He slapped me on the back. “I know it’s hard, son, but it’s true that time heals all wounds. I know you’re hurting. I could see it every time you came home, but each time you came back you seemed better. This time most of all. I know you loved Ella, maybe you still do in a way, but you’ll find someone else and you’ll forget all about her. You’re a good man, and some woman will be lucky to have you. You’ve made me proud.”

  I flushed. “Thanks, Dad, but don’t go all soft on me. I don’t think I can stand that.”

  He barked out a laugh. “Get your lazy ass back to work then,” he ordered.

  We spent the next couple of hours going over the combine, thoroughly checking it over to make sure it was in good repair. Having a combine breakdown in the middle of the harvest could potentially cost hundreds of thousands of dollars in crop loss, plus Dad did some contract harvesting for other farmers. We had a pair of 9870s, real brutes of a machine, and I was at the front inspecting and greasing the header. Once we were finished with this one, we’d bring the other one into the shop and start the process all over again.

  Dad had stepped out of the shop for a moment, so I was left alone with my thoughts. I returned to Ella. Despite what she’d done, I felt bad for her. Her rented trailer was old, small, dull, and sun bleached on the outside, worn and slightly tattered on the inside, but it was neat and clean. The entry was into the kitchen and dining room, in the center of the trailer, with the living room to the right in the front, and the bedrooms, bathroom, and a connecting hall to the left at the back. She still had her Escape, but I could tell she was just getting by.

  I couldn’t figure out why I still cared. By her own admission, she wasn’t totally sure what happened that night. I couldn’t decide if it mattered to me if she’d wanted Steve to fuck her while she was under the influence of a drug or not. On the one hand, she wasn’t herself and not totally responsible for her actions, but on the other, maybe she had let him fuck her. Could I forgive her for that? If I got shit-faced and fucked someone other than Ella, should I expect her to forgive me?

  I turned the problem over in my mind. I wasn’t as pure as the driven snow in all of this. As soon as I heard the news she was pregnant, I’d fucked the first woman I could find to spread her legs. I could have waited to find out if she’d actually been raped, but instead of trying to be there for her, I’d gone balls deep in some woman every chance I got.

  I finally decided it did matter. If Ella had allowed Steve to fuck her because of her own actions, I couldn’t forgive her for that, no matter the circumstances. But, if she’d been drugged against her will, then it was rape, pure and simple. From that moment on, in my opinion, her hands were clean. Now, the question was, had she been drugged? She believed it, but I knew from my time as an MP, peoples’ memories were notoriously unreliable. Had she been drugged, or had she just convinced herself she’d been to try to assuage her guilt? I had no way to know. I thought about talking to Cat, but if she were willing to lie about it in the past, why would she admit to doing it after all these years, especially since if she had slipped something to Ella, that would make her culpable in rape?

  I growled out loud to the empty building. Thinking about this was making me nuts! I wanted to believe Ella, desperately wanted to believe her. I wanted to believe she loved me and wouldn’t fuck me over like everyone thought she had, but there was so much evidence against her. All I had was her word.

  I could go digging, but I’d promised her I wouldn’t cause trouble. Everyone seemed to be willing to let that sleeping dog lie, including Ella. Did I really want to stir that shit up again just for my pride? Even if I found out she was telling the truth, then what? She didn’t say Steve was the one that drugged her, and she admitted she was so out of it, for all she knew, she had asked him to fuck her. If he didn’t know about the drug, then did he actually rape her?

  God knows I’d fucked the shit out of plenty of women who were probably too wasted to legally give consent. I didn’t force myself on them, but I knew they were well lubricated. If they were coherent enough to come onto me, or I felt they were lucid enough to understand what was going to happen when I was coming on to them, I fucked them anyway. Did that make me a rapist? I didn’t feel like it did.

  Dad reappeared and I shoved the problem aside. Thinking about it was doing nothing but twisting me up anyway. I should just forget about her. Maybe I’d call Mackenzie and see if she was serious about catching up. I decided I would. I was going to forget the whole thing with Ella. I had my answer, and it was time to move on.

  “Hey, Dad! These cutter blades look pretty rough.”

  “Shit!” he spat as he stepped around the machine to where I was standing. “I meant to pick up some new ones when I was at the dealer the other day and completely forgot.”

  He examined the two rows of serrated knives that oscillated at the bottom of the header, the wide harvesting head hanging on the front of the machine. The knives were responsible for cutting the sorghum so it could be sucked into the combine and threshed.

  “Yeah, they look pretty beat up. I’ve already had them sharpened a couple of times. Monday, you can run into town and pick up a set. Probably should get two because the others are just as worn as these.”

  I almost groaned in despair. Replacing all the knives on a forty-foot draper header was a time-consuming, pain-in-the-ass job. Times two. With two machines to do, I’d spend a half day removing all the little bolts, taking off and replacing the knives, and then putting all the bolts back in and tightening them. It wasn’t hard work, but it was tedious as hell. You had to work stooped over for the top row of knives, and lying on your back for the bottom. Add to that, the blades were nearly razor sharp when they were new, so by the time I was done, I’d probably look like I’d been juggling cats from all the nicks, cuts, and scratches.

  “Swell,” I muttered.

  Dad chuckled. “I’ll let you do that. You still have young, nimble fingers.”

  “Swell,” I muttered again, causing Dad to laugh.

  “Have I mentione
d how glad I am you’re home?”

  “Swell,” I said a third time, looking away so he wouldn’t see me smile.

  We finished the first combine and went to work on the second. By the time we finished the second harvester, it was approaching dinner, but with the exception of replacing the cutter blades, both machines were fit and ready for work.

  One thing about farming, it left me with a sense of accomplishment. I’d enjoyed my job in the Air Force, but what I did there was just a stepping stone. I had to pay my dues, Time in Service, as the Air Force called it, before I’d have the opportunity to work with the dogs. That was what I really wanted to do, and that was the reason I’d selected the Air Force. The Air Force was responsible for training all the military’s dogs, no matter the branch they served in. I was going to put in my time as an MP until I was eligible for additional specialty training to work with a dog. After being a handler for a few years, I was going to apply for transfer back to the dog training facility where I would begin training new dogs and handlers.

  Unfortunately, after the incident with the colonel, that path was closed to me, and I would spend the rest of my career struggling for every promotion. But here, I could look at the equipment Dad and I spent the day servicing, equipment worth nearly a million dollars, and say, ‘yeah, I accomplished something today.’ It was a good feeling after my last year in the service when I felt like I was doing nothing but spinning my wheels.

  After dinner, while Dad watched television as the Cowboys played the Giants on Sunday Night Football, and Mom caught up with Kamron and Rebecca, my two older sisters, I wandered around outside, trying to decide what to do. I was waffling between calling Mackenzie and not. I’d gone so far as to look up Dolly’s number on the internet to see if Mackenzie was working tonight and wanted to have a beer after she got off, but I hadn’t hit dial.

  It’d been six weeks since I’d last enjoyed the touch of a woman, and the allure of her offer was strong. We could go on a couple of dates, and she’d probably let me to take her to bed. There was nothing wrong with that, but I was tired of chasing pussy. I’d gotten all of that out of my system already, and that’s exactly what it felt like with Mackenzie. I didn’t want to go out with her to enjoy her company; I wanted to go out with her so she’d let me bang her.

  “Goddamnit,” I muttered dropping my phone into my pocket undialed.

  What I needed was some time. This thing with Ella was screwing me up, again. I needed to relax and simply let things happen. I’d bump into people around town, and when something clicked with someone, I’d ask her out. It was that simple. If it happened to be Mackenzie, great. Mackenzie, or any of the other women in town, weren’t nameless chicks I could just fuck and forget. They were friends and they deserved better treatment than I’d given some of the women in my past. I recalled the hurt on the faces of some of the women I’d bedded when I got up and left them in a rumpled bed with barely more than a kiss. Over the past year I realized what a real asshole I’d been with some of them, and I was tired of being a dick.

  Mind made up, I started back to the house. It felt so weird, being home and not having Ella at my side, but I’d get used to it. As far as the rest? I’d taken care of myself plenty when I was dating Ella and the urges got too strong. If I did it before, I could do it again. I smiled to myself as reached for the door. At least now that I was twenty-five, it was normal and expected for people my age to sleep together if they were dating. I just needed to chill out until my world settled down a little, and then let nature take its course.

  8

  Ella

  I’d just arrived at work when I saw Levi come in. You could always spot Levi because he was the only man in town who never wore a ball cap. That had been true before he left for the Air Force, and it was still true now.

  “Ella?” he said as he approached the parts counter. “What are you doing here?”

  “I work here, what do you think?”

  “I thought you worked at Dolly’s.”

  “I do. I work here, 8:30 to three o’clock, Monday through Friday, and work at Dolly’s four until eight, weeknights, and then either ten to three or three to eight on weekends.”

  “You work seven days a week?”

  His tone signaled his disapproval, and I shrugged. “You do what you have to do.”

  “But Saturday you were there at lunch and didn’t get off until eight.”

  “I was covering for Diane. Now, how can I help you?”

  He blinked at me a couple of times. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to pry. I need two complete sets of knives for a 640FD.”

  “Two complete sets, as in upper and lower, or upper and lower for two headers?”

  “Upper and lower for two headers. Do you have them in stock?”

  I didn’t even bother looking the part up on the computer. This time of year, every farmer and his brother was in here buying replacement knives.

  “Yeah, I keep them in stock. Hang on and I’ll go get them.”

  I went into the parts room to get his blades. The parts counter at Goodall Equipment was open from seven until six, Monday through Friday. The shop foreman handled the counter until I came on at 8:30 and after I left at three. I’d been begging Mr. Goodall to make me full time, and the shop foreman had backed me up, but old man Goodall didn’t want to pay the benefits, so I worked part time during the busiest part of the day. I fetched parts for customers and techs in the shop, ordered parts for the same, and maintained the inventory. The pay wasn’t great, but I enjoyed the work well enough, and it helped pay the bills. I stacked sixteen boxes of blades aside. I couldn’t carry them all at once, so I took eight boxes to the counter in one trip before returning for the other eight.

  “Anything else?” I asked as I set the second eight boxes beside the first.

  “No, that’s enough…unless you want to install them for me?”

  I grinned. “I would, but you know, work,” I said as I waved around the parts department. “Put them on your Dad’s account?”

  “That’ll be great. Thanks.”

  “Hang on, I need you sign the paper.”

  I typed on the computer to print up his bill and relieve the inventory. Levi had put a major dent in my knife supply. After he was gone, I was going to order some more so I didn’t run out.

  “Hey, I heard you were back!” I glanced up as Steve walked in. “How you doing, man?” Steve said as he extended his hand to Levi. “I guess the Air Force didn’t agree with you, huh?”

  Levi smiled politely as he took the offered hand, though I could tell he’d almost rather pick up a pile of shit. “I guess you could say something like that.”

  “A lot has happened since you left. I guess you heard your girl there had a kid?”

  Levi said nothing as shame and embarrassment filled me. I pressed enter and the printer behind me began buzzing. When it stopped, I ripped the paper off and slid it across the counter for Levi to sign.

  “Here you go, Mr. McCormick. If you’ll sign here please.”

  “Mr. McCormick?” Steve asked, looking at me. “Kind of formal, aren’t you? I suppose I’m Mr. Calhoun now?”

  “Lay off, Steve,” Levi said as he took the paper and scribbled his name.

  “I’m just saying. Mr. McCormick sounds kind of stuffy, considering you two were going to get married at one time.”

  Levi glared at Steve. “I said lay off.”

  “Yeah, okay, sure man. No offense. How you doing, Ella? How’s Abby?”

  “Why do you care?”

  “Whoa! Don’t bite my head off! I was just asking!”

  I clenched my jaw. “She’s fine. What can I get you?”

  Steve glanced at Levi. “Damn, she’s like a mother lion. She’s kind of touchy about that for some reason.”

  Levi said nothing as he gathered up the boxes of blades. He couldn’t manage them all in one trip either. He left six boxes sitting on the counter. “I’ll come back for those.”

  As soon as Levi was out the door,
I turned on Steve. “Why are you being such a prick?”

  “What did I do? I was just being friendly.”

  I wanted to slap that smarmy smile right off his face. “Asking about Abby in front of Levi? You’ve never sent her a Christmas present, a birthday card, not one damn thing, and now you come in here and act like you’re concerned about her?” I left off the ‘you can go fuck yourself’ that I wanted to say because I needed this job.

  “She’s my kid too, you know.”

  “Then why don’t you act like it sometime?”

  “Jesus Christ, Mary Ella, are you on the rag or something? What’s your problem?”

  I gripped the counter. “What can I get for you, Mr. Calhoun?” I asked, using my best, happy, fake, customer service voice.

  “You know, we should go out to dinner sometime.”

  “I’m not going anyplace with you. Now, do you need something or not?”

  He sighed. “Okay, yeah. I need a rear straw chopper drive belt for a 6620.”

  I looked the part number up on the computer. I’d just finished getting the information when Levi came back in.

  “Excuse me,” Levi said as he stepped around Steve and reached for the remaining boxes of blades.

  “Hey, Levi, we should get together and catch up,” Steve said as I turned to go get his belt.

  “I’ll think I’ll pass on that,” I heard Levi say as I entered the parts room.

  Though I knew right where the belt was, I took my time. I wasn’t anxious to go back out there with Steve being an ass. I picked the correct belt off the shelf and sauntered back to the counter, belt in hand. Steve was standing there, red in the face as Levi grinned at him nastily.

  “I’m just saying, it mustn’t have been that great for her if she can’t even remember it. Maybe all those rumors about you having a little penis are true? Or maybe you’re a two-pump chump and it was over so quick she didn’t even have time to notice? You know what, I bet it was both.” Levi glanced at me. “Steve was just telling me how much he enjoyed his romp with you. I guess it’s good that one of you did.”