by Leisha Kelly
Mary Jane was hoppin’ on my shoulders. Squealin’ and lovin’ every minute of my silly bouncin’ that she could get. But I was hurting inside, and it was more than I could understand. “A lot of young men save for their futures,” Pastor had said. “To start a family of their own.”
Lookin’ around, I could plainly see that most of the young fellas I knew were workin’ on that very thing. Even Willy and Robert, I guessed, in their own way. I wasn’t but eighteen. Nineteen in another month. But a lot of boys I’d known all my life were married already, or making plans to be. Or going to the war. Or already gone. It felt like they had something I didn’t have. Like life was leavin’ me behind.
That’s stupid, I told myself. You ain’t supposed to have your whole life planned when you’re eighteen. You don’t need a girl yet. You don’t need nothin’ but to be the kinda brother you’re supposed to be.
“Dancey! Dancey!” Mary Jane squealed.
So I danced till my shoulders an’ legs were tired an’ Mary Jane’s daddy came over to get her. Then I twirled her down and around and right into Ben’s waitin’ hands. She laughed and laughed.
“Fun, Unca Fwanky!”
“How ’bout some punch?” Ben asked me.
“Guess I could use some by now.”
We went to the table together, Mary Jane reachin’ over to pat at my shoulder most of the way. Seemed like makin’ her happy had worn me out more’n usual. My leg was botherin’ me some. But I wasn’t gonna limp no worse. Lookin’ a fool for Mary Jane was all right. But lookin’ like a lame fool was not.
4
Sarah
I’d never seen all the Turrey boys behave themselves before. Usually it didn’t take them long to find a way to start trouble. Maybe somebody’d told them that they’d better have respect for the Porters and for the occasion. Eugene tried several times to catch my eye, but I made sure to look away and act like I didn’t notice him. I sat down to talk to Katie, hoping he would just turn his mind to something else. But finally he came right up and asked me to dance.
“No, thank you.” I tried to sound polite.
“How come? You was dancin’ with your pa a while ago.”
“Well, he’s family. That’s different.”
Katie gave me a tiny smile.
“What about Wilbur Rush?” Eugene persisted. “You mean to tell me that you wouldn’t dance with him if he asked ya? He ain’t kin neither.”
It had never occurred to me that Wilbur would ever ask, but my answer was just the same. “No, I wouldn’t.”
“What about Tom Porter then?” he said, making a face. “All the girls wanna dance with Tom Porter.” He looked at Katie, as if he were expecting her agreement.
But she just shook her head.
“If Tom asked me,” I said with a sigh, “I might do it just once. But only to be nice because he’s leaving tomorrow for the service.”
Eugene folded his arms across his chest. “Then you’d dance with Lester, but not me.”
“No. I wouldn’t dance with Lester. Rorey might get mad.”
He shook his head. “You’re hard to figure, Sarah Wortham. You gonna sit an’ turn the boys away all night?”
“I don’t see anybody lining up.”
Katie smiled again, bigger this time.
“Can I at least get you some punch?”
I almost felt sorry for him, but not enough to accept. “I already had some, but thank you anyway.”
He was looking at me pretty impatiently. “You’re sixteen. How would it hurt for you to let a boy give you a little attention?”
“I don’t know,” I told him honestly. “But I don’t feel a need to find out just yet.”
He stared at me with a frown. “You prob’ly just think I ain’t good enough,” he said before turning his attention to Katie for a moment. “What about you, Kate? You think that too? You waitin’ for Tom Porter or some other rich boy to run after you?”
Just then I noticed Frank clear across the open dance floor. He was sitting down watching us. Probably because he didn’t trust the Turrey boys any more than I did, and he’d want to make sure Eugene wasn’t bothering us.
“No,” Katie was answering Eugene sweetly. “We’re not interested in being run after at the moment.”
But Eugene turned his eyes to where I was looking. And I sure wished he hadn’t. Because his reaction was loud enough to attract attention. “You gotta be kiddin’! Franky Hammond? Sarah Wortham’s sittin’ here lookin’ at Franky Hammond! You’re crazy, that’s what you are. Franky ain’t gonna dance with you. He’d prob’ly trip over his tongue if he tried to ask. Anyhow, he’s half lame. And you’re the purtiest girl ’round Dearing, Sarah. You don’t wanna think on him. He ain’t nothing! The army don’t even want him. Did he tell you that?”
I knew Frank wouldn’t tell Eugene any such thing, and anyway it was the marines and not the army he’d talked to, but I wondered how it had gotten talked around.
“He can’t help his limp,” Katie defended. “And you’re being very mean. He’s a friend of ours.”
“Well, yeah. I guess he’d have to be, seein’s your pa’s took him in like a stray dog. Guess he’s too much bother for his own pa to keep around. Rorey’s told us plenty how odd he is.”
Rorey! I could imagine her talking to Lester and things spreading from there. And I was suddenly so mad I couldn’t sit still. I was on my feet before I knew it, facing Eugene straight on. He backed up.
“Rorey doesn’t have the sense God gave a goose anymore!” I raged, trying not to be too awfully loud. “Maybe her pa doesn’t either, if he thinks Frank’s a bother. Because he’s no such thing! And my father didn’t just take him in. They’re partners in a business that puts food on the table for both our families. Rorey oughta well be thankful. Frank’s very talented, and good-hearted too. He’s a blessing.”
Katie stood up beside me. “I don’t like mean talk. What do you think, Sarah? Maybe we should go across the room and sit and talk to Franky a while. He knows how to be nice.”
I could’ve hugged her. That was just like Katie. She didn’t think like me all the time, but we sure had an understanding on the important things. “Sure,” I told her. “That’d be great. Come on.”
We left Eugene standing there looking after us and went over to sit with Frank, one on each side of him. He probably didn’t know why we’d come, except to get away from Eugene. None of us said very much, but I was glad we’d moved anyway. There was no reason to tolerate somebody talking so unfair.
I wondered at Rorey. Things had been a little strained between her and Frank for a long time, and it was all her fault so far as I could tell. It’d been stupid of her to blame him for his mother getting sick in childbearing, or for her getting sick when they were just little kids. And it had been cruel to go along with Lester and try to blame Frank for the barn fire. But I hadn’t heard her say anything against him in so long that I’d thought maybe she’d finally let that stuff go and decided to see Frank for who he was.
Now I wasn’t so sure. Maybe she didn’t tell me anything about Frank anymore because she knew I wouldn’t hear it. Maybe she did all her bellyaching to the Turreys now. And they probably enjoyed it. They seemed to like giving Frank a hard time.
In a little while, when Frank went to get himself a piece of cake, I saw Lester and Eugene head over to the table at the same time. I hoped to goodness they wouldn’t start causing trouble. They acted like they were just there for the refreshments too, but when Frank started leaving the table, Lester leaned over and dumped his cake right on Frank’s shoe. Eugene moved around behind Frank real quick, and I knew he’d have grabbed him if Frank said one word. And then they’d have been fighting, two on one. But there wasn’t any trouble, because my mother and Mrs. Porter were there at the table, and they both rushed around with napkins and started cleaning up the mess. Frank was polite enough to hand Lester his own untouched piece of cake and get himself another piece. That made me smile, and nobody bothered
Frank after that.
The party lasted for several hours. Dad and Robert disappeared for a while and came back with the carved bookshelves. Mrs. Porter and Thomas were both pleased.
I was getting tired after that, but people lingered like they thought we could hold off tomorrow by hanging on to tonight. There were four tables of checkers and three jigsaw puzzles over on one side of the hall. And of course, all the people talking, enjoying the music, and dancing. I peeked outside a time or two, just to see if it was still snowing, but it had stopped again.
Katie and I both danced with Robert. And with Tom Porter and a couple of other guys that were leaving. But Willy didn’t ask us. Neither did Lester. I noticed that Frank didn’t dance with anybody. Except little Mary Jane. But I was sure he could have if he’d wanted to ask, despite what Eugene had said.
When it came time for the last dance, Robert finally walked out to the middle of the room with Rachel Gray. They hadn’t danced yet, and I’d been wondering most of the evening if he was going to have the nerve. They were something to watch. It seemed like everybody got quiet. The music was slow, and they held each other so close.
I’d never seen Robert look at anybody the way he looked at Rachel then. And she was the same way. Maybe worse. I knew he’d be writing her all the time. He’d do just what he said and propose to her the very day he got home. And she’d be jumping at the chance to accept.
Mom could see it too. For just a minute, I thought I saw tears welling in her eyes, but Daddy came and put his arms around her, and pretty soon they were dancing too.
5
Julia
I knew I’d never forget that dance. And I’d never again think of Robert as a little boy. He was grown. I saw it in the way he moved, and so plainly in his face as he looked at Rachel. He was grown and beginning his own life. I was proud, but heartbroken at the same time. I’d never dreamed when I was holding him as a baby in my arms that I’d feel this way seeing him become a man. Life had passed by in a whirl, and I hoped I’d given Robert all the lessons he would need.
Samuel held me so close, and his arms were warm and comforting, but I wished I knew what he was thinking. Had he seen the same thing I had? Rachel had won our son. He wasn’t ours anymore.
The dance was far too short. I didn’t want it to end and have to hear the band leader tell everybody good night. I didn’t want to leave yet, because it would mean today was over. And I wasn’t ready for tomorrow.
I stayed in Samuel’s arms even after the music stopped. Looking up into his eyes, I saw their moistness and knew he was touched the same way I was. It made me love him all the more. “What are we going to do, Samuel?”
“What do you mean?”
“Sarah and Katie will be next. They’re already sixteen.” “Katie won’t be sixteen for a few days yet,” he said. “And I don’t guess we’ll ever have to worry about being left alone. When they’re not bringing us grandkids, the Hammonds’ll be dropping in.” He grinned at me.
“Oh, Samuel.”
“I think it’s exactly what Emma Graham wanted. For us to fill her farm with children and grandchildren, Hammonds as well as ours.”
I had to nod about that. “Children and flowers. That’s what she liked, all right.” I looked around at the crowd, so many of them already gathering coats to leave. And for the first time I noticed what should have been a conspicuous absence. “Honey, where’s George?”
Samuel looked one way and then turned his head and surveyed the entire hall. “I didn’t figure I had to keep watch on a grown man. Where could he take himself to?”
“Someone must have seen. Maybe he just stepped outside for some air.”
“I heard it’s ten below.”
For some reason I remembered the bitter December night when Mrs. Hammond died. George had been unable to accept it. He ran off in a snowstorm, and we didn’t find him till morning. The sudden thought chilled me. Grief had nearly made him crazy then, and could have cost him his life. Nothing had happened now, but three of his sons would be in harm’s way, and he was already acting strangely. “Samuel, do you think he’s really all right? Maybe I should have talked to him earlier. I think it’s really bothering him about tomorrow.”
“He wouldn’t have talked to you, honey. He’ll barely talk to me. But I don’t think tomorrow’s the only problem. He hasn’t been really all right for quite a while now.”
I was just thinking we ought to check the front steps when Ruby Lawson came bustling up the basement stairs into the main part of the hall. Her husband was right behind her. “Anyone else down there?” I called to her.
“Two or three men,” Ruby said with a frown. “You’d think they could get through one public gathering without doing somethin’ disrespectful.”
Samuel and I glanced at each other.
“Just an innocent game a’ cards,” Ruby’s husband said weakly.
“If that was all, you’d a’ had a table up here with ever’body else,” Ruby declared. “Shameful, that’s what it is. The Porters is decent people. They wouldn’t cotton to no liquor being brought to their party.”
Samuel’s face turned stony, and he started for the stairs. I almost followed him, but I knew he wouldn’t want me to. George couldn’t handle liquor. But he turned back to it sometimes in times of weakness. I knew Samuel would find George in the basement. I could only pray he hadn’t broken his promise to us again, to leave the liquor alone for the sake of his children.
Two men left the basement in a hurry and looking pretty sheepish, but Samuel didn’t come back up. That was enough to tell me that things were not good with George, and Samuel was upset enough about it that those men had not wanted to stick around.
I let the kids linger a while, talking to friends. I wasn’t sure what else to do. The only one who suspected anything was wrong was Franky. It wasn’t long before he put things together and started downstairs on his own. Maybe I should have stopped him, but Franky was as much a man in my mind as Robert. He had a right to know if his father had a problem.
They were a very long time coming back up the stairs. Mrs. Porter walked over from the refreshment table to tell me that Pastor and Juanita Jones had left during the last dance to walk the widow Putnam home, and they’d have their house warm and waiting for us when we got there.
“Thank you so much for the cake, Julia,” she went on. “Lemon is my absolute favorite.” She just stood for a minute, as if she was waiting for something important.
“It was a wonderful party,” I told her. “And so good of you to include everyone.”
She looked like she would burst into tears. “Oh, Julia! I’ve been wondering the whole night how you can be so calm! I feel like I’m about to fall apart.” Her hand fumbled with a lace-lined pocket until she’d withdrawn her kerchief, but all she did was squeeze it in her hands. “You and Mr. Wortham looked so lovely on the dance floor. I wish to God you’d pray for me to have your kind of faith. I wish I could be half so peaceful.”
I just stared for a moment, not sure what to say. If she only knew what was going on inside me she’d have gone asking prayer of someone else. Across the room Rachel Gray had her hand in Robert’s hand and tears in her eyes. And downstairs, I didn’t know what Samuel was dealing with, but it couldn’t be good.
Lord, I prayed in my heart, grant Mrs. Porter the peace she needs. Not my kind of faith, but yours.
I gave her a hug. I wasn’t sure there was anything else I could do or say. And right then I heard George Hammond’s voice coming from the bottom of the stairwell, and I was glad most of the crowd had dwindled away.
“I don’t need you an’ this boy comin’ an’ lookin’ about me, you hear!”
“You could have told him no, George,” my husband’s voice answered. “Just a simple, polite no.”
“We was jus’ toastin’ our boys and the U.S. of A,” George shot back. “Wha’s the hurt in that?”
“Oh, dear,” Mrs. Porter said.
“I’m sorry—” I started
quickly.
“Julia. You’ve nothing to be sorry for. I should’ve thought to have Oliver check about such things. There’s always somebody in every crowd looking for occasion for drinking, doesn’t it seem like? I wish they’d never repealed the Prohibition. That’s George Hammond, isn’t it?”
“Yes. It is.”
She shook her head. “I declare, Julia. You’re truly a saint, half raising that man’s children and putting up with his ways.”
I sighed. “Samuel’s the saint dealing with him right now.”
“I hope he doesn’t cause you nor the pastor too much trouble tonight. Can you imagine? He can’t have been thinking on how William’s going to feel! And with all of you staying at the pastor’s house . . .”
I didn’t answer her. Samuel and George were coming up the stairs. And Franky, surely.
“You know how liquor does you, George,” Samuel was saying. “You’ve got your kids and William to think about—”
“They ain’t gotta know.”
“C’mon, Pa,” Franky answered him. “You know better’n this! Did you think nobody’d notice?”
“You jus’ keep your mouth plum outta this—” Mr. Hammond kept up his arguing as they came into view. But then he stumbled, and Samuel grabbed him and helped him the rest of the way up the stairs. Samuel was still upset, I could tell.
“God help you, George,” he was saying. “There’s no mistaking the smell. We’re going back to the pastor’s house. You could’ve had a little respect.”
“Was toastin’ our boys,” Mr. Hammond repeated. “Wha’s wrong with that?” He pulled away from Samuel and Franky and made his way to the coats. Lizbeth met him there, and she didn’t look happy, but I couldn’t hear what was said between them.
Emmie Grace, Harry, and Bert went with William to the coats. Robert was still with Rachel but looking our way, aware now of what was going on. Katie and Sarah were closer to me. “Can you get Rorey’s attention?” I asked of Sarah. “It’s time to go.”