by Leisha Kelly
“God bless you, Julia,” Mrs. Porter said to me quietly. “Please remember me and especially Thomas in your prayers.”
“I will,” I promised. “Pray for us too. And the Hammonds.” She nodded and turned away toward her husband. Sarah went straight over to Rorey but obviously had no easy time of it getting her to leave Lester’s side to come with us. But finally Rorey turned loose of Lester to get her coat.
Mr. Porter graciously thanked us for coming. I thanked him again for having the party.
George was pulling on his old coat. I was glad we had the truck outside, even though it was only three blocks to the pastor’s house. Driving would be easier than walking George that distance.
But he insisted on walking. Maybe because he was mad at Samuel for disturbing him, and it was our truck. Samuel was pretty disgusted at this turn of events. He told George he was walking too, then, just to keep an eye on him. One of the boys could drive the truck on over to Pastor’s.
I guess that was enough to make George give up because when we went outside, he climbed into the back of the pickup and sprawled out on the flooring.
“You mind if I walk?” Robert asked his father. “I’ve got some thinking to do.”
“I’ll come with you,” Willy said before Samuel could answer. I hoped Willy wasn’t upset about his father.
It was Frank who first climbed up with their father in the back of the truck, though George protested at him about it. Then Bert climbed up too. And Emma came around to the front seat with me. Everybody else wanted to walk. And I could understand that, under the circumstances. The snow had stopped again, and the sky had gotten beautifully clear. It was cold, but they didn’t have far to go. And George Hammond was a less than pleasant riding companion tonight, to be sure.
So on this night that was supposed to be about us being together, we left most of the kids walking behind us. And I had the strange feeling that this was just the beginning, and we would never be together in quite the same way again.
6
Sarah
We’d only gotten about a half inch more snow. The weather was crystal clear and colder. I didn’t know what to think of Mr. Hammond. I guess nobody else did either, because we were all pretty quiet walking away from the community hall. The moon was bright. We didn’t have far to walk. Robert and Willy started out ahead, with Harry not far behind them.
Rorey was pouting, I could tell. She started lagging behind, and I knew she wanted to speak to me. But I was sure she’d been bad-talking her own brother to the Turreys. I was mad, so I didn’t slow up for her until she called at me.
“Sarah?”
Katie turned her head just a little but didn’t say anything. She was walking right behind Harry and didn’t slow down. Robert and Willy were talking about something and not paying any attention.
“Sarah?” Rorey called me again.
I kicked at the snow a little. “What?”
“I want to talk to you.”
I turned around and started walking backwards so I wouldn’t have to stop in the cold. “What about?”
“Come here. I wanna talk.”
So I slowed down, matched her pace, and ended up six or eight steps behind everybody else. I wondered if she was thinking about the way her pa had acted and him stumbling the way he did on the way to the truck. But evidently not.
“Lester said a lot a’ sweet things, Sarah,” she started in. “He must a’ tol’ me half a dozen times he loves me. But he didn’t say nothin’ ’bout marryin’. Maybe if I coulda just stayed a little while longer.”
“Oh, Rorey. If he was minded to propose tonight he’d have found a way, even if he had to follow us down the sidewalk.”
She took a quick glance behind us, and I sighed.
“Don’t you think you have plenty of time yet?” I asked her. “You’re not even eighteen till next December.”
“But he don’t have much time ’fore the train tomorrow.” She kept up her pout.
“Maybe he’s not ready. Maybe he’s not even sure he wants to marry. And that’s okay. There’s no reason you have to be engaged before he leaves.”
“I just wanted it so bad.” She looked like she could take to blubbering any minute, and I shook my head at her. “Robert didn’t get engaged,” I told her. “Or William. Or Thomas Porter. Maybe Lester just didn’t feel like being different.”
“But we are different, Sarah. You know that.”
I didn’t. I didn’t know what she meant by that at all. But I didn’t ask. “Eugene was talking awfully mean about Frank tonight.”
She made a face. “That’s just Eugene. You gotta take him with a grain a’ salt.”
“Did you tell him Frank got turned down for the service?”
“He asked me about it. Why shouldn’t I answer?”
“Because it’s nobody’s business, that’s why!”
“Why are you always stickin’ up for Franky, Sarah? Huh?” she suddenly demanded. “You act like you’re his mama or something.”
“I’m about the same as a sister. You know that. So I don’t understand why you don’t stick up for him. Lizbeth would if she knew the way Eugene was talking. So would Emma Grace.”
“Then he don’t need no more. Everybody feels sorry for him anyway. Everybody babies him—”
“That’s not it at all, and you know it.”
“Well, then, what is it? Huh, Sarah?”
“It’s just not fair how you talk about him.”
“All I been is honest,” she snipped at me. “It’s not my fault your Uncle Edward run over his leg when he was little. And it sure ain’t my fault he’s so bleary-headed he can’t read.”
“Shush, Rorey. Everybody’ll hear you.”
“So what? Everybody knows Franky has problems.”
“He works hard. And he’s sensible. Seems to me he doesn’t have near the problems you do.”
She stopped. “Just what do you mean by that?”
“Nothing,” I told her, knowing I could never explain without causing a big argument. I pulled my scarf tighter. “I’m cold. I wanna walk faster. And besides, I ought to be up there with my brother now. Hard to believe he’s leaving tomorrow.”
She didn’t say another word. I hurried ahead to Robert’s side, but Rorey just stayed lagging back like a dunce. Maybe she’d give William a hug or something tomorrow. I hoped so. Because she sure hadn’t given him the time of day tonight.
By the time we got to Pastor Jones’s house, Mr. Hammond was already in the back bedroom getting in bed. And Mrs. Jones was starting to get everybody else situated too. It felt strange to be staying over. I didn’t think I’d sleep very well. Katie, Rorey, Emma Grace, and I were all to share the larger guest room. It wasn’t long before the whole house was quiet.
I lay awake a very long time thinking about the party and tomorrow. Rachel Gray had tried to hide her tears when her folks told her it was time to leave. I felt sorry for her a little, knowing how she’d miss Robert. I tried to picture her in a lacy white dress, and my brother standing at the front of the church in a suit ready to claim his bride. And those thoughts made me smile and feel a little sad inside all at the same time. If it wasn’t for Hitler and the horrible Japanese attackers, they might be getting married a lot sooner.
God, why do you let war happen? I lay there and prayed. Good men have to interrupt their lives. Some of them lose their lives. And their families and the girls who love them are left behind with nothing but the memories and their tears. It hadn’t ought to be this way!
I had to quit praying then because I was afraid I’d cry and wake up Emmie Grace, who had snuggled beside me. I lay staring up at the dark ceiling and turned my thinking to Rorey, knowing I wouldn’t cry on that. I might get mad, but that was better than crying.
Rorey had no right to be such a baby about Lester. Just four months ago, she’d been interested in a fellow named Jude Jenkins who was in town visiting his cousin. And last year she, along with a couple of other girls I knew, had be
en sweet on Thomas Porter, and there was no way that was going to work out. But she’d started liking Lester almost four years ago, young as she was, and she’d come back around to liking him over and over since then. Lester liked the attention. He was always glad to have Rorey around, but I didn’t know if he’d ever propose. I figured it’d be the best thing for her if he didn’t.
I don’t know how long I lay there, letting my mind drift one way or another. Finally I dropped off to sleep. But I couldn’t have slept very long.
Before the sun in the morning, I heard someone stirring in the next room. Soon my parents were talking in quiet voices, and I decided I might as well get up and dress for the day. If we’d been at home, there would be chores to do to take my mind off what was coming, but here at the Jones’s house I wasn’t sure how I’d manage. But I remembered the Jones’s chickens and decided that I might as well go and check for eggs, even if someone else had gotten there before me.
Buttoning up my sweater, I thought about Katie’s birthday in another week and wondered if she’d feel any different about it with Robert not around. She rolled over just a little, and I stood real quiet so I wouldn’t disturb her.
We’d have breakfast here this morning, and then it wouldn’t be long before it was time to go to the train depot. For a moment, I wished for more snow again, but then I thought that was selfish of me, and I prayed that God would be with my brother wherever he went.
Walking across the room I thought about what it had been like to dance with Robert last night. A few years ago, he never would have been willing to dance with his sister. And I wouldn’t have been willing either. I guess growing up was changing us. That was a little scary.
I knew I’d miss him. A lot. Like any brother, he’d been a pain sometimes. Not as bad as Willy or even Harry could be, but he’d had plenty of ornery moments, especially toward me. But he’d outgrown most of that. Now he was nice. And shy. Rachel had liked him for years now, but it wasn’t till just a few months ago that he’d gotten the nerve to admit that he’d liked her too, all along.
Behind me, Katie got up real quiet and started getting dressed. I didn’t know why she didn’t talk to me. I don’t know why I didn’t talk to her. Maybe we were both thinking too much to say anything out loud. I wondered what life as a grown-up was going to be like. Would the war be over in a year, like some people said? Would Robert and Rachel live close around here when they got married? And then start having a family? Would I meet somebody as nice as Dad, fall in love, and have kids of my own?
Maybe I’d live right next door to Robert and Rachel. And next to Katie too, with her family on the other side. But I couldn’t picture Rorey with Lester in my imaginings. Not at all. I couldn’t even picture Rorey wanting to stay anywhere nearby. Sometimes she talked about Chicago or St. Louis. Neither of us had been to either place, but Rorey wanted to go some day. She said it would be exciting.
I wondered how different Robert would be when he got back. He’d be a man, that was for sure, with stories to tell. Hopefully not all bad. Hopefully the war would be over in even less than a year and there’d be nothing more for our boys in the service to do but come home happy.
I heard a rooster crowing outside. Mom was folding their bedding in the sitting room. I just walked past without saying anything. I’m not sure where Dad had gone. In the kitchen, Mrs. Jones was stirring batter in a big bowl, and I told her I’d be happy to get her eggs if she didn’t mind.
“Thank you, Sarah. But Paxton’s already taken care of that.”
Paxton was the pastor, but nobody else called him by his first name that I ever heard, except my dad, and then only rarely.
I guessed I could have asked Mrs. Jones if she needed help making breakfast for all of us, but I really wanted to be alone. I wished it was summer so I could volunteer to go outside and pull weeds in the garden, or maybe just sit under a tree and think.
“Are you all right this morning, Sarah?” Mrs. Jones asked me.
“Yeah. I guess.”
Right then, Frank came into the kitchen from the next room, and the first thing he did was look out the window. “Mrs. Jones, I seen it snowed a little more in the night. Would you like me to shovel the walks?”
Mrs. Jones smiled over at him. “I hardly think it snowed enough to make that necessary, Franky, but if you want to, I surely wouldn’t mind. Thank you.”
I watched him nod and go to get his coat. Strange how he almost seemed to be thinking like me, looking for something to do to take his mind off the day. It made me wonder where my dad had gone. But it wasn’t long before I heard him coming up to the back door with the pastor. They’d both been to the chicken coop. They came in together and sat down at the kitchen table for a cup of Mrs. Jones’s fresh-brewed coffee.
“Maybe I’ll help Frank with the sidewalks,” I offered. Pastor looked up at me with a strange expression. “You don’t have to do that. Either of you.”
“I know it. But we don’t mind, really.” I went for my coat before he could say another word about it. Mom and Katie were just coming into the kitchen, and before long there would be others up, and I just wanted to get outside away from everybody for a little while, cold or not. Maybe Frank felt the same way. If the pastor had two shovels, one of us could do one side of the house and one of us the other.
But there was only one shovel. And Frank insisted he should use it because I was a girl. “Fine,” I told him, and went around to the backyard to brush the snow away from all the chicken coop windows even though I knew nobody’d be opening them. Then I pushed the snow off the Jones’s cellar door with my feet, even though they probably wouldn’t need to open that either since they had another door inside the house. Finally I just sat down on the cleared-off cellar door and looked out over the frozen yard. At ten o’clock the train was coming. And I figured that I wouldn’t feel like a kid anymore after it left. If Robert had to be grown-up, then I ought to be too.
After a while, Frank came around the side of the house. There wasn’t enough snow to keep him busy very long. He looked at me and suggested I go inside and warm up. But I didn’t move. I just watched him finish the shoveling and then knock the snow off the fence in the side yard though there was no need for that at all. Pretty soon, he walked over and sat beside me.
I didn’t say anything. Neither did he. I didn’t know why he was sitting there, except to rest a minute and maybe avoid going inside just yet. But he didn’t sit for long. He went and scooped the snow from in front and behind the wheels of the pastor’s car and our truck even though it wasn’t deep enough for either of them to have any trouble moving. I knew he’d put the shovel away and go on in after that, so I went in first. I was plenty cold by then too.
Mrs. Pastor set me right down with a cup of hot cocoa and a plate of buttermilk pancakes. “Goodness, girl,” she said. “Are you always so raring to go in the morning?”
I sipped my cocoa and looked across the room to my mom, who was scrambling eggs. “No, ma’am. Not always.”
Katie sat beside me. She had a different kind of look on her face. I wondered if she felt the same way about Robert as I did. Of course, she hadn’t known him as long, but she was bound to look on him as a brother anyway. I was glad my birthday wasn’t till August. Maybe by then things would seem right again.
Frank came inside, and Mrs. Pastor made him sit down with hot cocoa too. He hardly touched his pancakes. Maybe he wished he was going away today with the others. But I was glad he wasn’t. It would be strange enough without Robert around. Frank being gone too would make things extra odd, because we were all so used to him working with my dad every day and staying with us or in the wood shop. And before that, he’d been over all the time when Mom was teaching him. He ate with us a lot. He worked in our fields like they were just as much his.
“God be merciful to us, and bless us, and cause his face to shine upon us,” Frank was suddenly saying almost under his breath.
My father smiled.
“That thy way may b
e known upon earth,” the pastor continued. “Thy saving health among all nations. Psalm 67. An excellent choice for today, Frank.”
But Frank didn’t even look up.
Breakfast was kind of stretched out, with the first of us eating, and then the next ones up, and finally Willy and Harry last of all. Katie and I helped Mrs. Jones clean the kitchen. Mom didn’t this time. She disappeared. But Robert was out of sight too, so I figured they were together. Mom had disappeared for a little while yesterday too, before we came to town. I knew she’d been in Robert’s room, helping him pack his bag and just being with him while she could. I thought of Mom hugging us in the summer sunshine or snuggling with us on the old davenport in our sitting room. “Just enjoying my babies,” she’d said once, and I of course responded that we weren’t babies anymore.
“You’ll always be my babies,” Mom had answered. Her kisses made me smile. And even though Robert had tried to wriggle out of them since he was about ten, I knew he liked her attention too. He was probably soaking up all he could right now.
That made me sorry for Willy, who didn’t have a mother to hug him good-bye. His father sat in the pastor’s chair and didn’t say a word to him or anyone else. But Willy didn’t act like he needed it. He was talking a mile a minute about “givin’ the Japs what for” and seeing some of the world besides. It kind of made me feel raw inside. Japan was a hard enemy. They’d already proved that.
Pretty soon after everybody’d eaten, Lizbeth and Ben drove up with Mary Jane wrapped in a quilt and tucked between them on the front seat of their Ford. They came inside and unbundled, and Lizbeth and Mary Jane looked so nice again in dresses made from matching print. Lizbeth sure did sew a lot, now that she wasn’t teaching school. She was always making something. And she was an awfully good cook too. She brought the pastor and his wife a pan of succotash and a big basket of hot rolls for dinner later. Those rolls smelled fantastic, right through the towel over top.