Widow, Virgin, Whore - A Novel

by Deanna Lynn Sletten

  Denise released a deep sigh. "I guess I've tried so hard to not be like her all these years, I don't know what to think anymore."

  Katherine dropped the dish towel and gave her friend a big squeeze. "Just relax, have fun, fall in love, and take the plunge. If being with him feels right, you'll know it."

  Denise nodded and took a deep breath as if she was actually going to dive into a pool of water. Then both women smiled, and their smiles turned into girlish giggles as they began talking about Denise's upcoming weekend.

  ***

  Nervous but excited, Denise took off with Gary that Friday morning while Katherine waved goodbye from the kitchen door. No longer bogged down with boring and time-consuming board meetings to attend, Katherine planned on a long weekend of writing. She wanted to finish up the article on Jeff's fund raising organization for The Seattle Times, then work on her book revisions. With Chris at a friend's house for the weekend, and Chelsea gone on a short vacation with her grandparents, it seemed the perfect time to get a load of work done.

  But Katherine's plans were waylaid from the onset. That morning, Darla awoke feverish and vomiting. She'd been having night sweats off and on over the past few weeks, but usually felt fine during the day. This morning was different. Her temperature stayed up and her vomiting increased. On the phone, the doctor said to continue watching her for the day and if her symptoms continued through the night, to bring her into emergency.

  That afternoon Katherine received a call from Craig. "Susie's in the hospital," he said, after asking how Darla was feeling. "Carl went to check on her this morning because she hasn't been feeling well, and she was vomiting and dehydrated. He took her to emergency and they found she has pneumonia in both lungs."

  "Oh, poor Susie," Katherine said with a sigh.

  "It gets worse," Craig told her. "Her T-cell count has dropped dramatically, and her viral load has escalated."

  "Oh no," Katherine said, worry creasing her face. She knew Susie's counts had been staying steady, which had kept her healthy despite being full-blown. But this dramatic change in her counts meant she would now have to fight harder to stay well.

  Craig offered to stay with Darla so Katherine could run over to the hospital to visit Susie. When she did, she was horrified to see how thin and pale Susie was. Apparently, she'd been sick much longer than she'd let on to the group and she'd refused to go to the doctor every time Carl brought the subject up.

  "She's afraid to admit she's sick," Carl told Katherine quietly as Susie slept with the aid of oxygen and medication. "She thinks if she ignores it, it will go away." But they both knew AIDS was not going to go away. It would only get worse.

  By the time Katherine returned home, she was exhausted. Craig offered to stay the night to help keep a watch on Darla. Katherine accepted gratefully, feeling relieved. She made sandwiches and soup, which Darla tried to eat but couldn't keep down, and the three watched television in Darla's room where she hovered between sleeping fitfully and complaining.

  "I've never met anyone quite like Darla," Craig commented softly after Darla had fallen asleep from exhaustion. "She sure is one of a kind."

  "That's for sure," Katherine replied, chuckling. She wanted to add, "Thank God," but held her tongue.

  Craig's eyes sparkled mischievously. "Bet she's been a pain now and then, huh?"

  "She has her moments."

  "You know, I was a Marine for twenty years and commanded a squadron in Vietnam, but I have never met anyone as decisive and headstrong as Darla. She knows her mind, that's for sure, and she's not afraid to speak it." He paused a moment, then added, "I thought Marines were supposed to be tough, but next to her, they're pussycats."

  They both chuckled, glancing over at the subject of their conversation. Darla slept with her back to them, her breathing labored, but steady.

  Katherine looked back at Craig. She'd known he'd served in Vietnam and that he suspected that was where he'd contracted AIDS, but he'd never spoken about it in any detail. She was interested in learning more.

  "Tell me about Vietnam," she said softly. "Was it as bad as all I've read about it?"

  Craig sighed, his eyes suddenly weary. "Worse," he replied. "No one could ever print the real truth of what happened in Nam. It would horrify the world."

  The look in his eyes told Katherine he didn't enjoy talking about Vietnam, so she gently switched the subject. "Do you know for sure that you contracted AIDS while you were there?"

  Craig smiled. "Who's asking? Katherine the reporter, or Katherine the friend?"

  "Both."

  He nodded, conceding. "I'm pretty sure I did. I was married for a little while after coming back to the States, but that ended in divorce. Then I had a girlfriend for a couple of years. When I found out I was HIV positive, I called both of them and they checked out negative. You can imagine how relieved I felt. I used condoms in both relationships because we weren't ready to have children, so that's what saved them. Since there were no other women, I knew it had to be that one time when I was on leave." He shook his head, his eyes settling on the floor. "I brought it home after only one encounter there. Can you imagine how many others did, too? It's scary."

  Katherine nodded in agreement. This was yet another aspect of AIDS. While our country was battling to control it, it ran rampant in other countries.

  She left Craig to sleep on the chaise lounge in Darla's room and headed downstairs to the kitchen to put the dishes away. Too exhausted to even climb the stairs to her own room, Katherine dropped on the living room sofa. As she drifted off to sleep, her thoughts turned to Denise and she hoped her weekend was going much better than her own.

  ***

  The full moon rose high over Puget Sound, bathing the water in silver splendor. Denise and Gary lay together in the hammock on the deck, content in the warm breeze, salty air, and endless sky above them. They'd had two glorious days together enjoying the sun, water, and beach, and the comforts of his island cottage. Upon arriving Friday afternoon, they'd spent their first few hours airing out the cozy retreat and putting away the groceries and supplies he'd brought along. It seemed so natural for them to do these everyday chores. She stocking the refrigerator and cabinets, he opening the windows and brushing the dust from the screens and sweeping the porch. She making up the beds, him starting the charcoals for that night's steak. She cutting the salad as he prepared the meat. They worked in harmony, as if they'd been doing these things together for years.

  But, to Denise's disappointment, Friday night they'd slept in separate bedrooms. Tonight, feeling lazy and content beside him after a delicious meal of grilled salmon and salad, Denise wondered how she could alter the sleeping arrangements without coming on like Darla.

  "This is nice," Gary said, reflecting her thoughts as he tightened his arm around her waist.

  "Ummm hmmm."

  "Did you like the salmon?"

  "Ummm hmmm."

  Gary chuckled. "Are you going to say anything else besides 'ummm hmmm'?"

  Denise smiled at him. She loved being snuggled up against his body. She felt warm, safe, and comfortable."

  "Ummm hmmm," she said again, teasing him. He tickled her side, making her wiggle in closer as she giggled.

  "I love this cottage," she told him. "It would be very easy never to leave here."

  "I know. Sometimes I wish I could stay here forever, too."

  They were quiet again, enjoying the night sky. The air cooled, making Denise shiver involuntarily.

  "You're cold. Let's go inside." He slipped out of the hammock, extending his hand to help her up. Lifting her easily, their bodies met and pressed against each other. They kissed briefly, smiled, and headed through the glass door into the cozy living room.

  "Do you want a drink?" Gary asked, stepping into the galley-style kitchen.

  "No, I'm fine."

  He poured himself some of the wine left over from dinner and they snuggled on the sofa. Denise couldn't help staring at him, he looked so handsome. His tall, tone
d body in a white sweater and khaki shorts and his dark hair windblown and silky. Gary smiled appreciatively at her, too. She had wonderful curves, her body soft in all the right places, and the sundress she wore showed her body off beautifully.

  "I had an ulterior motive in inviting you here," he told her, his voice mysterious.

  "Oh?" Denise couldn't imagine what. Certainly not to take advantage of her as the separate beds had already proven.

  "Remember the night you told me you were a virgin?"

  Her cheeks turned pink. "Yes."

  "I've thought about that night a lot and I decided something because of it."

  "What?"

  "I decided I wouldn't ask you to become intimately involved unless I knew I was serious enough to make a commitment."

  Denise held her breath, her heart suddenly pounding. They were in separate beds this weekend. Did that mean he was letting her down easy? The 'let's be friends' routine?

  He looked at her seriously. "Denise, I'm forty-two years old, I love my work, I enjoy my life, and I can't imagine anything making it more perfect..."

  Her eyes dropped.

  "...than sharing it with you." Gary reached into his pocket and knelt on the floor beside her in one smooth motion while her eyes darted up to his in surprise. "I love you very much, Denise. Will you marry me?" He handed her a small, velvet box.

  Denise's mouth fell open. "Oh, my goodness." She stared from the box in her hand to him.

  "Open it," he urged, enjoying her surprise.

  Slowly, Denise opened the box. Inside, winking up at her was a two-caret, diamond solitaire set in white gold.

  "Oh, my goodness." Her eyes filled with tears.

  "Does that mean yes?"

  Denise stared slowly from the diamond to him and back again for one long moment before reaching for him, pulling him to her, and hugging him close. "I didn't expect this. I never expected this," she said, tears streaming down her cheeks.

  "Does that mean yes?" he asked again, laughing.

  She pulled away and looked into his warm, brown eyes, the eyes she found so comfortable and easy to be around. The eyes she trusted. The eyes she loved. "Yes, yes, yes, yes yes!" she blurted out, her tears changing into joyful laughter. They kissed, warm and tender at first, then turning into one full of passion and wanting. When finally they parted, both were breathing hard. Gary took the ring from the box and slipped it on her finger. It fit perfectly.

  She studied it a moment, watching the perfect stone glimmer in the soft light. Looking back up at him, she saw the sparkle reflecting in his eyes.

  "Does this mean no separate beds tonight?" she asked playfully, hoping she didn't sound too forward.

  He pulled back, a little surprised, but smiled teasingly when he answered. "We could wait until after the wedding."

  Her brows rose as she contemplated this, disappointment written in her expression.

  "How about it?" he continued in a playful tone. "Wait a few more months?"

  Denise groaned, making him laugh out loud. He pulled her to him and they fell back onto the sofa with her stretched out on top of him.

  "I can wait until you're ready," he said, half-teasing, half-serious. "I'll wait as long as it takes."

  "I'm ready," she whispered back, kissing his neck, cheek, then brushing her lips softly over his.

  "But we can wait," he continued, his voice huskier.

  "Shut up and kiss me."

  He chuckled deeply and did as he was told, only this time they didn't let their passion end with simply a kiss.

  ***

  Sunday morning Darla sounded worse. Her breathing was labored and her fever and vomiting continued.

  "I'm not waiting any longer," Katherine told Craig. "Let's take her to the hospital." Craig agreed, and together they helped Darla dress and led her to Katherine's van.

  "She has pneumonia," Doctor Hanson announced to the three crowded in the emergency room cubical. He'd agreed to meet them at the hospital when Katherine called to tell him they were headed there. "But it's only in one lung, so we can treat her with antibiotics quickly before it becomes worse."

  "Pneumonia? Who gets pneumonia in July? That's stupid!" Darla protested from the bed. They had hooked up to an IV for fluids and she was feeling the benefits of it already.

  Dr. Hanson chuckled. "Well, I can see you're feeling better already. I'll have the nurse run an antibiotic through your IV to get you started and send you home with pills." He adjusted his glasses, frowning at the chart in his hands. "You'll get over this fine, but I'm concerned with your latest T-cell count. It has gone down considerably from the last check. Have you been taking your medication?"

  "When I haven't been throwing up," Darla said matter-of-factly.

  "Hmmm. Well, maybe we'll have to adjust the medication again. I want to see you next week and we'll run another test to see how you're doing."

  Darla saluted. "Yes, sir."

  The doctor shook his gray head at her, but smiled. "It'll take a couple of hours for the drip to finish," he told Katherine and Craig. "Then you can take her home."

  "Thanks, Doctor," Katherine said as he left. She turned to Darla and Craig. "I'm going to check on Susie while I'm here. Want to go too, Craig?"

  "No, I'll stay with Darla. Tell Susie I'll catch her later."

  After Katherine left the room, and the nurse set up the antibiotic drip, Craig came over to sit beside Darla's bed.

  "You look a mess," Darla told him. He hadn't shaved or even combed his hair before bringing her to the hospital.

  "You look beautiful," he said, smiling, lacing his fingers with hers and lifting her hand to his lips.

  "Yeah, right," she snorted. Her voice grew softer. "Hey, don't get too close. We don't need you to get sick, too."

  "I'm not worried," he told her, their hands clasped tightly. "You just get better. Remember, Thursday is Bingo night. We don't want to miss it, do we?"

  She giggled and smiled at him as he kissed her lightly on the cheek.

  ***

  Susie was sitting up in bed, picking at her lunch, when Katherine entered her room. Her color looked better, but her eyes were listless. Carl was still there, having spent the night in the chair beside the bed. His face was drawn, his eyes tired.

  "The doctor says I might be going home tomorrow," Susie told Katherine without enthusiasm. Katherine touched eyes with Carl, but he only shook his head and shrugged.

  "That sounds great." Katherine tried to sound cheerful, but when Susie only nodded, she asked, "Won't you be happy to go home?"

  Susie shrugged. "You, Carl, and Craig are the only ones who've visited me."

  Katherine stood silent, unsure of how to respond, but Susie continued in her quiet monotone. "My ex said he didn't want the kids to see me sick. It might scare them."

  "Maybe that's a good thing," Katherine said, trying to console her. "I'm sure they'll come to see you when you get home. And Carl and I can come every day to help you until you feel better."

  Susie's face dropped further. "You mean like Allison?"

  "No, Susie, you're a long way from being like Allison," Carl insisted. "We're only going to help you when you need it. In a few days you'll feel better and be back at work."

  Susie only nodded again but her spirits were low and by the time Katherine left, she felt disappointed that she hadn't been able to raise them.

  ***

  Darla was lying on the sofa in the living room Sunday evening when Gary and Denise came in through the kitchen door. Both kids were home, and Marcia and Dan were still there from bringing Chelsea home when the couple entered arm in arm.

  "Well, well, lookie who's home," Darla said. "So, did you two have a productive weekend?"

  Denise ignored her sister's question, but noticed how pale she looked. "Have you been sick?"

  "Yup. Like you, I spent my weekend in bed."

  Denise turned pink and Katherine came to her rescue. "Did you two have a nice weekend?"

  Denise grinned. She loo
ked over at Gary and he grinned back. Katherine stared at them both, perplexed. "What's going on?"

  Everyone in the room stared at the smiling couple.

  Denise held out her ring finger for all to see. "We're engaged."

  Katherine's eyes widened. Chelsea squealed. Chris said, "Cool." Marcia clasped her hands together with glee. Within seconds, they all charged the couple for hugs.

  "I'm so happy for you, dear. This is so exciting!" Marcia squeezed her daughter.

  "This is wonderful. Congratulations," Katherine told her, hugging her friend tight.

  "Aunt Denise, this is just too cool. Let me see the ring," Chelsea squealed.

  Denise showed them again as they all oohed and awed, and hugged Gary, too, readily accepting him into the family. Everyone except Darla, who lay on the sofa, grinning slyly.

  "So, you're going to make an honest woman out of her, eh Doc? Does this mean you're finally getting some?"

  Gary grinned and shook his head at her, and everyone ignored Darla's comment and continued hovering around the couple. Dan slapped Gary on the back and shook his hand. Marcia hugged him tightly. Katherine came to stand beside him as the others returned to hover over Denise.

  "You're getting a very special person, you know that, I hope," Katherine said quietly as their eyes met.

  "Yes, I know. I've been waiting a long time for someone like Denise."

  Katherine smiled up at him and gave him a big hug. "Welcome to the family," she said. "For better or for worse." She tugged her head in Darla's direction as she said this, and they both broke out in gentle laughter.

  Chapter Eighteen

  "I lost my job today," Susie announced softly. Everyone in her living room stared up at her in surprise.

  "What?" Darla asked. "You mean he fired you?"

  Susie sat on the floor, fingering the worn cards from her Trivial Pursuit game. It was early August, and the day had been hot, the sticky heat hanging on into the evening. Both she and Darla had recovered from their pneumonia, but Susie wasn't quite the same. Her steps were a bit slower, her smile harder to provoke. She sat in the hot apartment contemplating Darla's question with her blonde head bent low.