Seers

by Kristine Bowe

  I guess I have to make sure I live past today so that can happen.

  We would have continued to stare at each other at least a couple seconds longer, but clearly Eri has an agenda.

  “Leesie, did you read the files? Luke, are you ready to tell us your plan?”

  As I nod yes Luke begins to tell us.

  “We need to Navigate your father today, Eri. We’ll meet at your house. I have been going over and over how we are going to do this. How we can Extract the information and keep it safest for the longest amount of time. We need time to find out how deep this thing goes, how many Seers and Preceptors are involved, how many enemies we are going to have. Leesie will go in and Extract the memory from your father. And then I will go in and Extract the memory from Leesie. That will buy us some time. Tobias and the others will not expect the information to be in my brain instead of hers.” Now he turns to me. “You will continue to report your progress to Tobias. Give as much information as you feel will suppress him. You will tell him you need more time—”

  “No,” I say. I wasn’t going to tell him what I plan to do when I meet with Tobias today. But now I can’t help but tell. His plan has me buying time with Tobias. I will live above Tobias, answer to Tobias, report to Tobias. No. If he took my memories to send me on this mission, if he took my life, stripped me of my past and my identity, my family, then no, I will not continue this relationship past today. His rule over me ends today.

  “What do you mean, no?”

  “I mean, no. That’s not how this thing is going to go. It’s going to have to go my way. According to my plan. And you’re not going to like it.”

  His face seethes with frustration. His mouth turns down in anger. But his eyes. His eyes dance in my fire.

  “I agree that we should Navigate and Extract Dr. Kuono today. I’m not crazy about the idea of you Navigating and Extracting me, but it does make sense. And it will buy us time. But as far as my meeting? I have some breakthrough memories. I remember a few things from my past. They play in my head like movie previews.”

  “You’re going to tell him that? That you’re remembering? What’s that going to do? That will do nothing but possibly get him thinking he should mess with your memories again. He’ll just monitor you more closely. It’ll make next week that much harder.”

  “Leesie, Luke’s right,” Eri cuts in. “You don’t want to evoke any suspicions.”

  “I’m not finished.” I clip my words razor sharp at the ends. How can I get them to see my side if I can’t present them with the whole scenario? “I am not interested in just giving him information about the return of a few memories. I am interested in providing him with information concerning one memory in particular. I have a scene that plays in my head of me on a sidewalk somewhere in the city. I am facing a stretch of row houses. I am staring at the door of one of the houses, at the man in the doorway. The man is Tobias. I am sure of it now. It hadn’t meant anything to me before, but now … if he is responsible for taking my memories and I tell him that I remember that day—”

  Luke interrupts: “It’ll be as if you’re telling him you remember everything. Even though you don’t. You tell him that and he will think you know everything. How he intercepted you, what happened to your memories, everything.”

  It’s quiet for a second as we all process.

  “So you’re ending this today, then. You do this, you challenge him like this, accuse him like this, and you will have to leave immediately. You will Navigate Dr. Kuono and go,” Luke says finally.

  Why is he surprised? Of course I am ending this! Or starting this, depending on how you look at it. I have to. I have to get to my life. A real one. And I have to remind Tobias and myself of what I am. The more powerful one. He has toyed with me. He has stolen from me. And yet I have worked for him. My gut burns and I feel as if I could rip flesh from his face if he were here. That I could squeeze it and let it ooze between my fingers. That I could stare at the gaping raw-meat wound where part of his cheek used to be and smile.

  And I will not meet with him and make nice. I will not stand before him, reporting to him as I have done in the past. All the times I listened to him, took his advice: “Tobias says this” and “Tobias says that.” I have been violated, and I am ashamed that I let him get away with it for so long. That I didn’t figure it out on my own. So I will tell him about my memories. I will remind him who the powerful one is. He may have outsmarted me, but in the end I have the better brain.

  “I know what the accusation will do. I will present him my journal, a journal I use to provide him with information about my missions. He will read about the memory I have of him. And that will do it. Yes, I am ending his false sense of reality in which I am a memory-free moron and he is in charge. How can I continue to meet with Tobias now that I know what he has done to me?”

  “You can’t.” Eri, who has been silently watching, now commands our attention. She was Reading us as we spoke. I can tell. She has that look on her face. The one she wears once she has figured me out and wants to tell me all about myself.

  Instead she turns to Luke. “I don’t want her to go either, Luke. But having her here another week. One more week? What’s that going to do? This setup is ending. I liked it, too. I liked my new friend. She listened to me and spent time getting to know who I really am. Mission or not. She cares about me, and I care about her. I don’t want to lose her either.”

  Eri turns to me now. When she leans in for a hug, I worry that it could be weird because I haven’t known her long and we’ve never touched before. But it isn’t. It’s like I am hugging someone I’ve hugged a thousand times before.

  When we break our embrace, Luke steps toward us both and rests his hand on Eri’s shoulder.

  “You’re not just losing Leesie, Eri. I’m going with her.”

  Chapter

  “Eri, look at me,” I say, gripping her shoulders. She wipes the tears from her cheeks and sniffs a few times. “Eri, you may lose us, but let’s think about this. It won’t be forever. We’ll handle this. We’ll stop Tobias. And we’ll get every other Preceptor involved. This isn’t a permanent good-bye. I promise. It’s not.”

  I don’t know if that’s something I can promise, considering I just ensured her that Luke and I will be blowing the top off the abuse of power in the world of Seers and Preceptors. That’s quite a promise. But why can’t we? Why stop with Tobias?

  She’s Reading me. “Okay” is all she says. She’s not stupid. She knows it’s a tall order. I’m sure she Reads that I am unsure, but I hope she also Reads that I am determined. I am not lying to her. I may not be able to guarantee victory. I can guarantee that we will do everything in our powers to end this and get back.

  “I can’t go in, Leesie. I can’t just go to class now,” she whimpers.

  “We have to,” I insist. “Don’t raise any suspicions. Anyone could be watching, right?”

  “Right. Great. Awesome.”

  “Careful, Eri. With the attitude. You’re starting to sound like me.”

  I put my arm around her and turn her toward the front doors. She puts her head on my shoulder for a second and then straightens up. She pulls her shoulders back and clears her throat.

  That’s right, Eri. Suck it up. It’s going to be all right.

  We float through the day, slightly aware of things, slightly outside of ourselves. I see Eri and Luke walking together to class. I wonder what he said to her. I wonder if he apologized or explained himself. What is his explanation to her? I’m sorry to leave, but I am choosing her, not you? It must feel that way to her, even though he is choosing the mission and the fight against Preceptors and trying to keep her, her father, and her friends safe in the process. But it will sting the sting of rejection nonetheless.

  I both look forward to and dread going to lunch. I want to see Daisy and Patrick and Frances. But it will be hard to see them. I miss them already.

  “Looking good, Leesie!” says Patrick. “But what’s the matter? You look di
stracted. Did you see your reflection in the dining-hall window and get yourself all flustered again? You gotta stop taking your own breath away, girl. I told you about that.”

  He’s priceless. Can’t I figure a way to bottle him and take him with me? Life is just better with him in it.

  “Very funny. I’m fine. Tired maybe.”

  “All three of you look tired. Where was the party? You look like you were up all night.”

  We sidestep the unwanted attention. Each of us starts a conversation. Eri turns to Frances, I ask Daisy how Jackson is, and she eagerly inquires about my bracelet and about how I’m feeling. Luke gets Patrick going by bringing up how his training for the next race is going. We try to pep up. But a heaviness surrounds us that we can’t shake. I am willing the clock forward despite cherishing these last moments as a group. The next period is art. My last art class with Eri.

  Just yesterday I sat across from her and attempted to Navigate her. Today I sit across from her and see an Aurae, a friend, and someone I will miss terribly.

  She leaves her canvas in front of her to grab paint and brushes from the back of the room. She has been working on this piece the past few days. I stand up and walk around our table to face it. It’s Boathouse Row at night. The white string lights on the houses dapple the purplish black sky. Her blending of colors is elegant. I guess she would be good with color.

  “You like?” she says, trying to imitate my voice when I used those sarcastic words on her earlier.

  I laugh. “Yes. I do. It’s beautiful.”

  We get to work. Me on my sketch of horse and rider and her on the finishing touches of Boathouse Row. We are both immortalizing memories. Trying to hold on as long as we can. The silence is relaxing. It’s not until the bell sounds that I realize that the school day is done. And that means my meeting is just around the corner.

  “You’re going to be okay, aren’t you? Luke may not worry about you, but I can’t help it. You don’t know what Tobias is capable of. What if he takes your exposure of these memories as an accusation? What if he retaliates?” Eri’s voice is pinched and shaky.

  “He will take it as an accusation, because I am accusing him, Eri. He is responsible for my missing memories. He is responsible for messing with you and your father. Let’s not forget the things we are speculating he will do once he has the ability to Extract. He’ll do it. All the things we talked about. Changing people’s lives, destroying people. He’ll do it. He is capable of it. I’m going after him.”

  I’m cooking up to something here. I can feel the rage in me moving and churning. I need this. I need to be fired up before I get home and lose my nerve. “I’m taking him down. For what he did. For what he’s going to do.”

  “Aren’t you scared? Haven’t you thought about the fact that you have to get out of there? You’re planning to drop this bomb on him and then, what? Say, ‘Okay Tobias, nice talking to you. Bye’?”

  “I’ll figure that out once I’m in there. I’ll be fine. Just go to your house. Wait for me there. I’ll be there by five. I will.”

  “Okay,” she answers. She Reads me one last time and goes.

  Luke is at my truck. Of course.

  “Hey,” he starts.

  “Hey.”

  “You ready?”

  “I’m ready,” I say flatly, even though I want to follow it with a question: You don’t think you’re coming, do you? But I wait.

  “I think I should follow you,” he says. “Look. I’m not trying to invade your space. I’m not trying to protect you. I just want to be there in case.”

  “In case what?”

  “In case you don’t come out.”

  Well, I can’t argue with that, can I? For Eri’s sake, for Dr. Kuono’s sake, for the sake of all Seers and Extractors, I have to come out. And if I don’t, Luke needs to hightail it to Eri’s to protect her and her father.

  But I am going to come out.

  I think he will read the journal entry. I think he will look at me with raised eyebrows that will deepen the crevices on his forehead into caverns. He will ask me about the memory. He will ask for specifics. I will be vague and toy with him. He won’t like it. He will ask about the mission. I’ll be vague again. He’ll want to explode, but he won’t. Tobias is calculating, methodical, exacting. He researches and waits, waits and researches. He will not be ready for a rash move. He will dismiss me and immediately begin plotting retaliation.

  And I will be a move ahead. At Eri’s. With the information he wants planted safely in Luke’s brain.

  “You can follow me because it makes sense. And it will help Eri to not freak out as much. But I am going to come out.” I finish with raised eyebrows that challenge him, dare him to disagree with me.

  He sees my challenge, and it seems to amuse him.

  “I know,” he says, “but I want to be there when you do.”

  He had been leaning on my truck, a favorite pastime of his, but now he stands straight and takes a step forward. His eyes never shift from mine, but he moves swiftly. His arm is around my waist before I can react. I don’t move my feet an inch, but my body curls back as I inhale sharply. If we were dancing, this would be the point at which I dip. Instead I straighten up and tilt my head back.

  We’ve been entranced so many times. So caught up in each other so many times. That this first touch, this first embrace, should feel awkward. But one fits in to the other like a puzzle piece finding its place. Our faces are inches apart, too many inches apart.

  I melt into him for a second before my arm curls under his and slides around his back, and I pull him closer. He sighs deeply and puts his other arm around me. He has been waiting for this, too.

  In a swirl of minutes that could be hours or seconds, we lose ourselves as our lips do the dancing while our bodies are still. In this moment there is no mission. No discovery. No danger. Well, there’s danger. But this danger is fun.

  As if a bell sounded, we release each other. Time’s up, and we know it.

  Now the difficulty is trying to focus after that.

  “Okay, then. I guess I’ll have the air on the whole way there,” I say as I fan myself and bite my lip.

  He laughs. It’s the loudest and best laugh I have heard from him. He puts a hand on my shoulder to steady himself while the laugh dwindles to a chuckle. He eats it up. The compliment. Everybody wants to hear they can get someone all hot and bothered.

  “Right. I’ll open my windows, too,” he says, and laughs again.

  And we part. That’s how we leave it. It’s perfect. No heaviness. No warnings or rehashing of plans. Just a kiss … and a laugh.

  Chapter

  As soon as I turn onto Girard Avenue, I lose Luke. He has purposely slowed down, and I’m assuming he’ll circle around and park after me so we don’t pull up at the same time.

  It had taken me until I was over the bridge to get focused. If this mission were me conducting research on Luke’s kissing style, there’d be no problem. Since it’s not, I had to get a grip and remember what we’re doing here. This is a big deal. I park, take a deep breath, and get out. I focus straight ahead on the door that leads to the stairway up to my apartment. I don’t want to look around and accidently see Tobias in a window, or any Seer, for that matter. I don’t want to be beckoned into his office before I can get to my apartment to get my journal.

  I unlock and open my door and turn immediately to the left. I had set my journal there on the table last night. But now there is nothing on the table but the little brass tray I use as a key holder. Where is it?

  I jerk my head up and cross the room to my desk in the corner by the kitchen doorway. Maybe I just thought I set it on the table for easy access. That’s it. I just forgot.

  The desk is clear. I snap my head to the right. My chair is empty except for a throw pillow. I bound across the room and jerk up the cushion. Nothing.

  A bomb goes off in my chest. Because I know what this means. I know what happened. Tobias doesn’t like to be kept waiting. And
he wanted that journal entry. So he sent Daniel in here to get it.

  Crap!

  What am I going to do? He’s downstairs! With who knows how many Seers. I’m a sitting duck. Every once in a while, the cocky overconfidence I feel before doing something turns out to have been blatant denial. This is one of those times. How could I have thought Tobias would have been that easy to play?

  I take a breath to collect myself. He’ll let me come to him, won’t he? I’ll walk in, and he’ll be sitting, waiting with the journal in his hands. He’ll relish the look of surprise and panic on my face. And then he’ll have me surrounded.

  So I’ll walk down as if I’m heading into his office but just keep going. I’ll just leave. Yes. I have to leave. Now.

  I cross back to the door. I look at my hand to make sure I have my keys, and with the other hand I turn the doorknob.

  Just before I open the door, I listen. I should hear quiet. It’s just me up here. Just my apartment at the top of a landing. I am the only one who uses this stairwell.

  Then why do I hear the slight tapping of feet on the stairs?

  Do I? Am I just being paranoid?

  No. I hear them.

  Definitely feet. Definitely coming this way.

  My body begins to react without bothering to confer with my brain. Suddenly I am across the room again, through the kitchen to the chair by my window. I am up, standing on the cushion. I shove my palms on the glass of the window and heave up. The old window creaks and groans, and the wooden frame splinters as it slams open. I dig my fingers into the metal lift handles to raise the screen. The screen is old, like the rest of this place, so it sticks and resists my efforts.