Courting Crazy

by J G Jerome

  Trina gives her room one last look. This has been her home for the last three years as she supported Myra with the setting up of the concord, but she curiously doesn’t feel like she’s leaving anything behind. She shrugs and walks out the door and down to Daphne’s room. She knocks, and Daphne opens the door dressed in the same cargo pants, tank, and boots as Trina.

  Daphne ushers her in and closes the door. She says, “I should be ready in about ten minutes. I’m mostly just packing uniforms.”

  Trina tells her, “Only grab toiletries that you need for the next day or two. Any personal stuff that can’t be replaced has to come with. You should definitely take that cocktail dress from tonight,” she says as she points to it laying on the floor. “You looked so hot in that.”

  “Really?” Daphne asks.

  “Trust me, Dee. I’ve always treated you like a sister, but the lustful thoughts I got looking at you in that dress made me glad we’re not related,” Trina teased her.

  “Well, it is a uniform.” She walks over, looks over her shoulder, and then bends at the waist to pick the dress off the floor. Before she stands up, she looks back past her legs and winks at Trina. Trina breaks into a laugh as Daphne stands and prances back to her bag. “Like the show?” she asks Trina.

  Trina wraps her in a hug, gives her a quick kiss, and tells her, “That show was worth all the crap from earlier this evening. Thank you, love.”

  Daphne laughs as she folds the dress and puts it in the roller bag. “Trina, three weeks ago I was slowly dying from want of attention. Since Jack claimed me, I feel like I’m swimming in love every minute of every day. From Jack, from all my sisters, from our queen...I feel like I’m finally alive! I love you so much!” The two ladies hold each other and weep until they’ve worked it out.

  “I love you too, Daphne. I feel blessed to have you in my life. Maybe before you crawl back into Jack’s bed you can find your way into mine.”

  Daphne smiles, “Before, during and after, darling. And when did we become such weepy bitches?”

  Trina spanks her ass, “Now pack your bag, bitch!”

  They laugh as Daphne puts a pair of jeans and a handful of her favorite black lace panties into her bag. She puts her two kilts in, her dress shoes, and a pair of Chuck Taylors. She puts her iPad in and takes a walk around the apartment. Stopping in front of the desk she opens a drawer and pulls out a sketch pad and pencil case. She adds those to the bag and zips it closed. She pulls on her shoulder rig and then slides into her charcoal grey leather blazer. She sets the bag on the floor and pulls out the handle.

  She tells Trina, “Let’s roll, you fabulous bitch!” They laugh, and Trina shoulders her bag and leads the way to the lift. They go down one more floor and make their way down a long corridor. They reach a wide door about 20 minutes later. Trina leads the way through and sees her Yukon sitting just inside the door. She walks over to the desk and takes the keys off the hook and then leads Daphne to the tailgate of her truck. She unlocks it and puts her bag in the back. Daphne sets hers in next to it when Trina starts shaking and then drops to the floor. She looks at Trina and reaches for her pistol as two darts punch her in the chest. Pain washes through her body as she loses control of her body and drops to the ground.

  Lorn and two other Sidhe walk up to the two paralyzed ladies. Lorn crows, “Well, if it isn’t the high and mighty Katrina Laughlin, just laying on the ground like a can looking to be kicked.” He cocks his foot and unloads into Trina’s rib. “You’re not so high and mighty now, are you, bitch.” There’s an audible crack as his foot lands with that last ‘bitch.’

  Trina gasps, “Lorn, you’re still a pussy. Just a pussy with a fucking taser.”

  Lorn drawls, “I was on duty when I got the call from Springfield to be on the watch for the ‘fugitive Katrina Laughlin.’ I knew you would show up for your precious piece of shit truck. And here you are.”

  Trina coughs out, “Yeah Lorn, you’re a real rocket scientist.”

  “Drag her over here to the bench,” Lorn tells the other two goons. Each of them grabs and arm and drags Trina to the work bench. Lorn pats the bench, “Put her up here.” One of them grabs her feet and the other grabs her under the armpits, then they hoist her up on the bench.

  While they are moving Trina, Daphne rolls onto her side and slowly moves her right hand to her pistol grip.

  Lorn pats a jar of swirling inky substance and a rotary tool with a sharp, pointed tip. “I’m forbidden from killing you, Princess. Apparently the Queen wants to witness your demise. But Trevor told me it would be okay if you arrive in Springfield with some marks on you. I happen to have a jar of living shadows. So, I’m going to mark what you are for everyone to see. Hold her down. Louis, hold that other bitch down.”

  Daphne freezes a moment before she feels a knee on her shoulder. She thinks, ‘Shit, there’s a third one!’ She goes boneless to give her guard a false sense of security.

  She hears a humming right before Lorn says, “ Prepare yourself, Princess,” he chortles. The pitch of the needle changes as Trina starts to scream through her teeth. The more she screams the louder Lorn laughs. “Where is that tough bitch who was going to kick my ass? Huh?” It goes on for about two minutes.

  Lorn admires his work, “Oh, that will make an impression. String her up on the engine hoist stand over there. I’m going to cut her tits off next.” He points to a large a-frame on wheels. One of the goons says, “Hey Louis, give us a hand stringing her up.”

  Louis gets off Daphne and says, “Sure.” Daphne counts to three in her head, then rolls to her back as she unholsters her pistol, throws off the safety, cocks the hammer back and puts a bullet through the base of Louis’ skull. She rolls forward onto her feet and draws a bead on one of the goons when a handle appears sticking out of his eye before she shoots. So, Daphne adjusts her aim and puts one in the knee of the goon pulling Trina in front of his body. When he drops her, Daphne adjusts her aim and puts a second bullet in the center of his forehead.

  Daphne scans to find Lorn, but to her surprise he is held aloft by an elderly goblin. The goblin steps back and slams Lorn’s back across his knee with a loud crack and then a scream from Lorn.

  Daphne recognizes Cholley as the goblin. He holds his hands up, and then he points towards Trina’s body on the floor.

  Trina hears people moving towards her and tries to push up enough to grab her pistol. Daphne is beside her in an instant. “I’m here, Trina. Please let me help you.” She gasps when she sees the blood and the destroyed facial muscles with the words “Moira’s Whore” tattooed into her face.

  Trina nods. “Keep your pistol handy,” she mutters. Daphne steps over her and hooks her right arm. Cholley grabs her left armpit and raises her to wrap her arm around his shoulders.

  Trina looks at him without saying a word. He has a hard time meeting her eyes. “You knew,” says Trina.

  Cholley looks at her with moist eyes and gently shakes his head. “Not this. Before, they threatened my daughter and grandchildren and told me they were only putting surveillance devices on the vehicle. I heard the explosion in the distance later and was so afraid I had killed you. I was so overjoyed when you came back that I forgot to terrorize Dick-boy over there for two whole days.” He wipes his eyes. “Princess, I have my family hidden and protected by people I trust, not toadies of King Saureg. I would serve you Princess, if you will have me. Please.”

  “Cholley, I suspected there was something at work like that, but I’m going to be slow to trust for a while. You’re going to have to earn it. I’m not giving my trust to anyone of either court for free any longer. My lord will pass judgement on you for what you have done. You will have to abide his decision.” She looks at him sternly. He nods sadly.

  “Good. You broke my heart, you old prune.” She kisses his cheek. “Dick-boy, huh? I like that. Take me to Dick-boy please, my loves.” Daphne and Cholley maneuver her to look down on on Lorn.

  Trina asks, “It’s hard to talk. What did he d
o?”

  Daphne responds, “He tattooed ‘Moira’s Whore’ in your skin with Living Shadows. It looks like he used a dremel like I’ve used on sculptures. He drove the ‘needle,’ as it were, deep. I’m afraid he destroyed your facial muscles. He was intent on destroying you. I don’t know if you heard him, but he planned to give you a field mastectomy next.”

  Lorn chuckles from the ground. “I once heard the queen say that living shadows won’t come out of the flesh. They have to be cut out. You’re branded as the whore you are for the rest of your miserable life, short though it may be, bitch.”

  Daphne says, “Living Shadows. If they’re alive, Jack can get them out. He can definitely heal your muscles. We just need to get you to him.”

  Trina shakes her head, “I hate for him to see me like this, but I guess it can’t be helped.” There is a ping from her jacket’s inside pocket. “That’s probably him on the ‘Top Secret Ninja Phone.’ Daphne, please text him that we can’t talk right now. Inside pocket.”

  Daphne sets her pistol on the bench, then reaches in and fondles Trina’s breast gently before diving into the pocket to retrieve the phone. Trina smiles with the right side of her face, “Thanks darling, I needed that.” Daphne gives her a sad smile as she confirms it was from Jack and types the quick message in response.

  Trina says, “Cholley, set me down on the floor.” Lorn starts squirming away, using his hands to drag his useless legs. Cholley sets her down at Lorn’s feet and then grabs one of his arms and puts it in an arm lock to hold him in place.

  Trina addresses her former tormentor, “Lorn...sorry, I should address you by your proper name. Dick-boy, you should have just killed me. Now I’m going to make your worthless, hateful, pedophile ass suffer. The broken back might heal in a couple hundred years or so, but the nicest thing your friends will say about you is ‘his face is so pretty.’ Strip him, Cholley.”

  When Cholley finishes she says, “Great. Now hold him tight.” Cholley resumes his arm lock.

  She draws her elven blade. She lifts each foot and cuts the Achilles tendon. Lorn looks appalled, but he doesn’t react to the cuts themselves. Trina seems to draw strength with each cut. Without looking up she says, “Cholley, you must have completely severed the spine. I’m impressed. That probably won’t heal.” Then she cuts the major quadricep tendon and the IT Band just above the knee on each leg. She looks at Cholley. “Flip him.”

  When Cholley finishes, she cuts Lorn‘s hamstring tendons and the popliteal tendons. “Lay your shin across his neck.” Cholley maneuvers so his knee is on one side of Lorn’s neck and his foot is on the other. Then he drops his weight onto it to hold Lorn in place. Trina holds his left arm straight and cuts the bicep tendon. Lorn feels that one and, he screams and starts twitching. She cuts the tricep tendon, all four tendons at the top of the wrist, the top of the hand, flips it to get the inside of the wrist and the palm of the hand. She drops the arm and crawls over Lorn to grab the other arm as his screams taper. Then she repeats the performance on the right side.

  She turns to look at Daphne, who has a horrified look on her face. “Hey! Daphne! Bring me the needle and ink!”

  Trina turns her attention back to Lorn. “What is it you told me, Dick-boy? Oh yeah. Prepare yourself for this.” She repeats what she saw him do, dipping the tip into the ink, and then starts to write across his lower back, refreshing the ink as needed. E-N-T-E-R space H-E-R-E-! Then she draws an arrow to his ass and inks it in until it’s about a half-inch wide with a large arrowhead.

  “Good enough. Back on the bench again, love.” Daphne takes the tool and ink from her and returns them to the bench where she found them.

  “Help me up, Cholley.” Cholley gets up slowly, and then scoops her up into a bridal carry. When she gets her arm over his shoulder, he sets her down gently onto her feet.

  In parting, Trina says, “Ya know, Dick-boy. I really should cut off that tiny little cock of yours. My man always tells me he’s not that big. I keep telling him he is. Oh well, he’ll just have to learn to take my word. I’m too tired to get back down on the ground. Rot in hell, Dick-boy!”

  Lorn whimpers on the ground. She nods towards the Yukon, “Let’s roll.” Daphne picks up her pistol and takes it off safe.

  Cholley says, “I inspected it earlier, Princess, but they weren’t around. We may need to clean it again.”

  Trina nods and points to the back of the Yukon, “Set me in the back and give me my bag.” Cholley gets her in position and hands her the duffle.

  Trina roots around in her duffle and then removes a piece of elf-tech with a string wrapped around it. She says, “Daphne, I need your help,” as she unwinds the string. Daphne stands in front of her with an inquisitive look.

  Trina asks, “Do you know how to use one of these?”

  Daphne shrugs, “I’ve seen one demonstrated, but I’ve never been tested on it.”

  Trina frowns, “Okay, I’ll activate it but I’ll need you to walk it around. Do we have room all the way around?” She surveys the area. “Should be good. Hold the string and spin it over your head.”

  Daphne safes and holsters her pistol, then takes the device and feeds the string out until there is about two feet between her hand and the device. Trina nods, and Daphne spins it around her head. Trina says, “A little faster if you can.” Daphne picks up the pace. “Perfect,” says Trina. “Bring it here, so I can activate it.” Daphne catches it as it spins around and hands it to Trina.

  “I push this, and then you walk clockwise around the vehicle at a one-step-per-second or slower pace. Three complete circuits. Anything with a GPS, like a phone in your bag?” Daphne shakes her head. Trina stands and Cholley steadies her. “I need to be outside the circle before she closes the first circuit.” Then she pushes the button on the end of the device. It starts blinking blue. “Go.”

  Daphne starts spinning the device over her head and starts the first circuit. The device makes a high-pitched whistle as she spins it. Cholley and Trina walk to the A-frame Lorn was going to string her up on. She looks down and at the handle sticking out of the goon’s eye. “What was that?”

  Cholley shrugs, “A half-inch wood chisel. I was working on a project at my wood bench in the corner. I can’t imagine how Dick-boy or his sycophants didn’t see me. It’s a shame. I liked that chisel, but I don’t want it now.”

  Trina rubs his back. “It can be replaced, Grandpa.”

  Cholley looks at her with shock, “You haven’t called me that in ages, Princess.”

  Trina tells him, “You couldn’t break my heart if I didn’t love you, you old prune.” Cholley pulls her into a hug. “I love you too, Princess. Please forgive me.”

  Trina kisses his old weathered, grey cheek. “You are forgiven, Cholley. We’ll work on the trust.”

  He nods and lets her back away. “Did the pitch change?”

  He shakes his head. “Not even a doppler shift. She’s doing it well.”

  Five minutes later, Daphne stops by the driver’s door and catches the device.

  “Press the blue button twice, and meet me at the back,” she instructs Daphne as she shuffles back to the Yukon with Cholley’s assistance.

  Daphne looks at her face. “It doesn’t look like it’s weeping or bleeding any more.”

  Trina, “It feels like it’s moving. Fortunately, I’m from the Winter Court. Rumor is it could prove fatal to a Summer. Maybe he was counting on that since my family came from there.” She pulls another object out of her bag, and puts one in her cargo pocket. She squats down to the ground and slams the remaining one into the concrete, and then she shakes it. It flashes blue for about a full minute, and then turns solid blue. Nodding she tries to get up, and Cholley and Daphne give her a lift. She hands the object to Daphne. It blinks blue again for a minute and then turns solid blue again. Trina takes it back and presses the blue button, and all lights turn off. She takes the device out of her pocket and replaces them both in her duffle.

  “Daphne, you drive. I�
��m shotgun,” Trina says as she fishes the keys she took from the hook and pitches them to Daphne. She turns to Cholley. “If the fates are kind, we will never come back, Cholley. Are you staying or are you coming along?”

  “I’m coming along, Princess,” he says.

  “Do you have everything you need?” she asks. He checks his pockets, and then nods. “Okay, then mount up, Mister!” Daphne helps Trina into the seat and then hurries around to mount up. Cholley sits behind Trina.

  “Dee, give me the Top Secret Ninja Phone please.” Daphne pulls it out of her blazer pocket and returns it to Trina. Daphne starts the vehicle and hits the garage opener. The door rises as they creep forward. She gooses it as the door gets high enough to allow passage. The Yukon pulls out on the streets and Daphne navigates toward Cottonwood as the first leg towards Phoenix.

  Chapter 13 - Unexpected Allies

  (America’s Sith, Winter Court of the Sidhe, Springfield, Missouri)

  Arianna’s Shadow Portals deposit her, Megan, and the accompanying Shadows with prisoners into the audience chamber. Trevor scoops Myra up and puts her into a submission hold, as she gently shakes her head to get her bearings back after the mighty blow her mother dealt her. Arianna moves to her throne. Myra struggles against Trevor for a moment, then sighs heavily and drops her head in resignation. Arianna chuckles darkly.

  Myra takes in a couple of deep cleansing breaths before raising her head back up with strength and pride. She glances over her shoulder and whispers, “Take a nap, Trevor.”