TORE (Sidewinders: Generations Book 2)

by Kat Mizera

  I broke down, sobbing against his chest, because the only person I’d ever voiced these insecurities to was Everly. And to be able to talk to him like this, to show him the most vulnerable part of me, took our relationship to the next level. Maybe not for him, but my feelings got exponentially stronger in that moment. No one beyond Everly had ever told me I was strong or brave, or that I’d done the right thing in keeping Gracie.

  “Don’t cry,” he whispered against my hair. “I don’t care about the bikini, okay? I won’t leave your side at the party if you don’t want me to. Or we don’t even have to go. Talk to me, sweetheart.”

  Sweetheart. He’d never called me that before and five years of pent-up fear and frustration exploded out in a torrent of tears. I’d cried when Greg left me, I’d cried the day Gracie was born, and there had certainly been days of sheer frustration that had brought on tears. But it had never been like this. I’d never even let it out like this in front of Everly, because she’d done so much to help me over the years, I’d never wanted her to think it hadn’t been enough.

  “Shh.” Tore held on to me, until my tears soaked his shirt and I felt like an idiot.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, sniffling.

  “It’s okay. I’m here for you. At least I want to be. But I can’t help if I don’t know the history.”

  “There’s so much.” I slowly pulled away and looked up, unsure what I would see in his face. Instead of pity, there was worry and regret, as if he’d somehow caused my breakdown. “It wasn’t about you,” I said. “I just… It’s been a rough five years. It’s been almost exactly five years since Greg left—Gracie’s biological father. Five years since I’ve been in a relationship. Five years since I had an ounce of self-esteem beyond my editing skills. Five years since I’ve been held by a man who was interested in anything beyond sex.”

  16

  Tore

  “Not anymore,” I whispered, running my hands down her back. “I’m interested in everything beyond sex.”

  The sadness in her voice was even more poignant than the tears she’d just cried on my chest. I hated what she’d been through, even beyond Gracie’s father leaving her pregnant. The idea that people, including her parents, made her feel bad about herself for becoming a single mother was shitty. It was beyond shitty and I didn’t know how to make it up to her. None of it was my fault, but now that we were together, I didn’t want her to feel bad about herself.

  In my experience, women were always a little self-conscious about this or that. Their boobs weren’t perky enough or their thighs touched or some other crazy thing that guys didn’t give two shits about. But this was different. Thinking she was fat, even though she wasn’t, was normal, and I basically ignored it when women said crap like that. Thinking she was a loser because she’d opted to have her baby after getting knocked up, well, that bothered me. And the idea that one of the WAGs at the party would think that was a foreign concept.

  She was right, though, that women could be mean, and after I guided her into the bathroom to wash her face, I pulled out my phone to shoot a quick text off to Toli Petrov. He was one of the veterans on the team, and actually the oldest player currently in the league at forty-two, so his wife was one of the unofficial heads of the WAGs. I didn’t tell him anything specific, merely that my new girlfriend was a little nervous about fitting in.

  She’d met a handful of the other wives at Ian and Everly’s wedding back in June, like Coach Wylde’s wife, Renee, Zaan’s wife, Lexi, and a few others, but there hadn’t been time to really get to know anyone. She’d been busy as Everly’s maid of honor and taking care of Gracie, so there hadn’t been much time for anything social, which was probably part of the reason she was freaking out now. I was confident Toli’s wife, Tessa, would make sure she was welcomed into the fold.

  “You okay?” I asked her as she wiped off all the makeup that had smeared.

  “I’m feeling better. I don’t know what came over me. Thanks for giving me a shoulder to cry on. Literally.”

  I smiled at her in the mirror. “That’s what I’m here for.”

  “I hope that’s not all you’re here for.” She smiled back.

  “I’m here for whatever you need. Do you want to talk some more?”

  She shook her head. “No, I think I’m okay.”

  “Good, because the party is going to be fun.”

  “Please don’t let me forget to keep putting sunscreen on Gracie. Mack said the pool wasn’t the reason for the infection and she’s good to go, but we need to put it on every hour, like clockwork, to protect the incisions.”

  “I’ll set my watch,” I said. “It’ll go off every hour to remind us.”

  “You’re the best.” She went back to her makeup and I decided not to bring up her little breakdown again. I’d keep an eye on her at the party, though. I definitely wasn’t going to let anyone in my life be the one to hurt her.

  There were lots of familiar faces when we got to Nate and Chelsea’s house, but one in particular I was surprised to see. I held out my hand when I spotted him, going over to say hello.

  “Hey.” Josh gave me a friendly smile and shook my hand. “How are you?”

  “What are you doing back so soon?”

  “I was called to speak at a conference. The original speaker had a family emergency and they asked me to come last minute. So I flew in early to see everyone.”

  “Margot will be glad to see you. She’s in the kitchen with the ladies. She made some caramel apple cheesecake thing that had me drooling the whole way over.”

  “So…things are good with you two?” he asked, sinking into a chair on the patio.

  “Yeah. We’re taking it one day at a time, but she and Gracie have been staying with me the last week or so.”

  “Really? That’s great. I’m happy for both of you.”

  “Hey, man.” Jamie came over to join us, sitting on the chair on the other side of me. “How’s it going?”

  “Good.” I nodded.

  Josh wiggled his eyebrows at Jamie. “He and Margot finally got together.”

  “Yeah?” Jamie’s eyes widened. “That’s fucking awesome.”

  “Thanks.” I grinned back at them. I didn’t have a problem with a little good-natured ribbing, especially not from these two, since they knew how long I’d had a thing for her.

  “You gonna be ready for the season with this new distraction in your life?” Jamie asked me.

  “I’m ready,” I said. “Although I do love summer.”

  “How does a kid from Sweden love summer so much?” Josh asked.

  “It’s fucking cold in Sweden,” I said. “I love living somewhere this hot.”

  “I enjoy it for a week or two at a time,” Josh said. “But then I’m ready to get back to cooler weather.”

  I shrugged. “That’s how I feel about Sweden. I can take it for about a week in the summer and then I’m ready to come back to the U.S.” I looked around for Margot, hoping for a distraction because I didn’t talk about my old life in Sweden. I went to see my grandmother once a year, and a handful of cousins, but I hated it there. For more reasons than I could count.

  “There she is.” Josh got up and held out his arms to Margot, who gave a little squeal of delight.

  “Josh! What are you doing here?” They hugged and chatted for a minute before coming over to join us.

  I patted my lap and Margot sat down, wrapping one arm around my neck.

  “Did you set your watch alarm?” she asked me.

  “Oh, not yet.” I moved my arm from around her and set my watch to go off every hour so we’d remember to reapply sunscreen on Gracie.

  “We have to be super careful with Gracie in the sun,” Margot told Josh and Jamie. “Her scars can’t get burned. But Mack said it would be okay for a few hours. Is she here yet?”

  “I haven’t seen Mack and Rob,” Jamie said, “but I’m sure they’re on the way.”

  “Gracie’s already found J.J.,” Margot told him. “And they
immediately took off for the pool. I don’t know what those two have to talk about, but it seemed pretty important.”

  “I think he was going to propose today,” Jamie said dryly. “We had to stop at the convenience store for him to buy matching Ring Pop suckers for them.”

  We all dissolved into laughter.

  “I thought I had a few more years before I had to worry about that, but I guess you can’t stop true love.” Margot had a faint smile on her face as she gazed out at the kids, who were in the pool.

  “Especially four-year-old true love.”

  “I think the kids have a good idea,” Josh said, getting to his feet and pulling off his shirt. “I’m going for a swim.”

  “Don’t forget sunscreen!” Margot called after him.

  “Margot, come drink with us.” Everly held out her hand to her and Margot hesitated, glancing at me.

  “Go on.” I lightly patted her bottom and pressed a kiss on her lips. “I’ll either be right here drinking or in the pool with the kids.”

  “All right. See you later.” She took Everly’s hand and they disappeared into the house.

  “She’ll be fine,” Jamie said, following my gaze. “The girls will take care of her.”

  “But will they be nice to her?” I murmured.

  He frowned. “Why wouldn’t they? She’s awesome.”

  “She doesn’t think so. Did you know her parents called her a loser for being a single mom?”

  “Yeah. She told me that once. And you know what? It’s their loss because not only are they estranged from their daughter, they’re missing out on their granddaughter. And Gracie is just fucking amazing. My mom has only met her twice and wants to adopt her as a grandkid, so Margot’s parents can suck it.”

  I smiled as I gazed at Gracie, who was splashing and laughing in the water. She looked so damn happy, which was a testament to Margot’s motherhood, and I realized I wanted to be part of it. It still made me a little nervous, but I was getting closer and closer to wanting to be Gracie’s father. I hadn’t completely wrapped my head around it, because Margot and I were still feeling things out, but becoming a father overnight had been my biggest reservation with Margot and now I was warming up to the idea.

  “You’re as crazy about the kid as you are about her mom, huh?” Jamie was watching me and I took a pull from my beer.

  “Yeah. Pretty much.”

  “You moving them in?”

  “Already have. I mean, it’s not official, but we already let Gracie decorate the guest room and make it her own so Margot could stay over. The plan was for them to go back and forth, but I don’t really want them to. I’m not sure what’s going to happen once the season starts, but I’m trying to figure out how to ask her to move in.”

  “Just say, ‘I don’t want you to go. I like having you here.’ See what she says.”

  “We’ll talk tomorrow. Hopefully, no one scares her off today. She was nervous about the other girls thinking she’s some kind of gold digger.”

  Jamie shook his head. “She’s too sensitive about that stuff, but she’s been hurt a lot. We’ll all keep an eye on her, make sure no one’s being snarky. I mean, there’s a handful of newer guys and a few girlfriends I don’t know, but the majority of the guys here are the heart of the team and we’ve been together a long time.” He looked almost wistful as he said it.

  “You think more guys are going to retire?” I asked quietly.

  He gave a little shrug. “Or get traded. We’ve been so lucky, having the majority of the guys here since day one, but the changing of the guard is coming.”

  “Oh, fuck, not me, okay? I just got a new girlfriend. I can’t get traded for one more season, until we know if it’s serious or not.”

  Jamie smiled. “It’s not my call, but don’t stress about it. Your name hasn’t come up.”

  I sat back, taking another pull from my beer. The last fucking thing I needed was to get traded. I almost shuddered thinking about it. It was part of the life of a professional athlete, but not now. I was finally in a good place, on the verge of getting serious with a woman who had a kid, and starting to make a plan to get my finances in order. The timing would suck.

  “Uncle Tore! Come in the pool!” Gracie was calling to me and I got to my feet. “Duty calls,” I told Jamie.

  “Daddy!” J.J.’s voice was even louder than Gracie’s.

  “You and me both.” Jamie pulled off his shirt as well.

  “Well, hello, handsome. Been a while since I got to appreciate those abs.”

  I wasn’t sure who the voice belonged to or whom it was directed at, but I turned just in time to find two soft, sexy breasts pressed into my chest and lipstick-covered lips covering mine.

  17

  Margot

  I’d just come outside to ask Tore if an hour had passed yet, so I could reapply Gracie’s sunscreen, when she called to him. He and Jamie both stood up, taking off their shirts, and I was enjoying the view just as a busty redhead in short shorts and stiletto heels came stumbling onto the patio from the outside gate. She threw herself at Tore and the next thing I knew, they were kissing.

  I stopped short so fast that Everly, who’d been behind me, slammed into my back. She followed my gaze and sucked in a breath.

  “What the—” I began, but before I could react, Tore firmly pushed the redhead away, though he was gentler with her than I would have liked.

  “Jen, what the hell are you doing?” he demanded, scowling as he held her an arm’s length away from him.

  “Oh, come on, Thor, you know you missed me.”

  I didn’t hear what he said next, but she stiffened and took another step back. “Oh, you can’t be serious.”

  “Fuck.” I heard Chelsea’s voice behind me and then she was hurrying in that direction. She wrapped an arm around Jen’s waist and whispered something to her. Jen seemed like she was about to protest but then she kind of wilted against Chelsea and they went into the house through the kitchen door. There were two exits from the house to the patio—from the kitchen door or the sliding glass doors—and she’d chosen the one furthest away from me.

  I was still rooted to the spot and Tore finally spotted me. He hurried in my direction.

  “Babe, I’m sorry. I had no idea she was going to be here.”

  “It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong.” I felt a little sick to my stomach now that it was over, and I leaned into his chest. One of his strong arms closed around my middle and he kissed my temple.

  “I would never disrespect you,” he whispered against my ear. “Never. If it’s not working out, I’ll end things, but I will never, ever embarrass you or do something like that.”

  “I know.” I took a deep breath. “It was just a little jarring.”

  “She and Chelsea are good friends but she wasn’t invited today. I asked Nate and he said they were only inviting the team and their families or dates. I don’t know what she’s doing here but I smelled the liquor on her breath, so she’s drunk.”

  I rested my head on his chest, trying to get my heart rate back to normal.

  “Are you mad?” He was still whispering, his lips close to my ear, holding me against him.

  “No. Like I said, you didn’t do anything. You pushed her away.”

  “Mommy, is it time for the sunscreen?” Gracie came running up to us. “Uncle Jamie wants to play Marco Polo but I need my sunscreen.”

  I took a breath and pulled away from Tore, looking down at her. “Yes, it’s time. Let me get it.”

  I went to the bag I’d packed with all the necessities, including towels, changes of clothes and snacks for Gracie, and got out the sunscreen. We used a special prescription version Mack had gotten for us, and I applied a generous amount on her face and neck. I sprayed the rest of her body with the regular sunscreen I used, and she took off like a bat out of hell. Then I slowly but purposefully pulled off my top. I was self-conscious as hell but dammit, Tore loved my body, and there was no better way to prove a man was yours
than to have him all over you in front of others.

  “Now we’re talking,” Tore said, coming up behind me and sliding his hands around my waist. “I didn’t think you were going to wear the bikini.”

  “Well, you said you liked it.” I turned into his arms. “And it’s more important to me to make you happy than to get my way.”

  He leaned in and kissed me, long and deep, with lots of tongue. “And tonight you’re going to be so well-rewarded for this.”

  I sighed happily, forgetting all about Jen and being in a bikini and everything but him.

  “All right, you two, get a room.” Josh came by and gave us stink eye. “Not all of us have dates or are getting laid tonight.”

  “Sorry, my friend.” Tore flashed him a grin. “I can’t help myself. Seeing her in a bikini is almost more than I can take.”

  “I can put my top back on,” I teased.

  “No way.”

  “Well, I’m getting in the pool.” I moved away from him and tugged off my shorts before getting in the water, heading toward Gracie and J.J., who were back to splashing each other.

  The rest of the afternoon was uneventful, and I found myself drawn to some of the younger women in the group. In addition to Everly, Lexi was a lot more down to earth than I’d imagined a rock star would be, and Chelsea was really sweet. She’d apologized profusely for Jen’s behavior, explaining Jen had had a little too much to drink and had just stopped by to say hello. Chelsea said she’d put Jen to bed upstairs in one of the guest rooms, and promised me she wouldn’t come back to the party.

  In a way, I felt bad. It was probably hard to see your ex-boyfriend with his new girlfriend, although that would have been easily avoidable if she’d just not come over at all. Of course, according to Chelsea, she hadn’t known Tore and I were together now, so I let it go. I didn’t want to alienate anyone, and Chelsea seemed genuinely regretful about the whole thing.