I sighed. “I guess ….” Turning, I glanced at my husband. Why was I so unsure? Why didn’t I want to go anywhere with Jasmine, not even to her home?
“Okay, let’s go,” Jasmine said as if the decision was already made. I hadn’t even heard her move across the room, yet now, she stood by my side, gripping the handle of my carry-on bag. “This is
the only one you have, right?” I hesitated before I nodded.
“It’s barely seven, Ky. You said the doctor won’t be here till ten so you can be back by then … if you want.”
Taking another glance at my husband, I acquiesced. “Okay,” I told her and then stepped over to Jefferson’s bed. Holding onto the rail, I leaned forward and kissed his forehead. “I’ll be right back sweetheart.” My fingers trailed his jawline. “I’ll be away for just a couple of hours.” Leaning over once again, this time, I kissed his lips.
With a final goodbye, I turned away, and faced Jasmine. We both stood, staring at each other like we were the stars in one of those old Western showdowns. Then when Jasmine turned toward the door, I followed her and wondered: was I going home with the woman who once was my dearest friend or with the trick who’d tried to steal my husband twenty years ago.
***
I was weary, but I felt like I had a shot of energy when I walked into Jasmine’s apartment. “Wow,” I said when we stepped inside the black and white marble-floored foyer. The morning sun shone through the sky light above and highlighted the rounded staircase. But I didn’t have a moment to appreciate the space as I followed Jasmine through the mammoth mahogany double doors that led to the massive living room.
There was so much for my senses to appreciate, but I was drawn to the enormous windows that framed a ten million-dollar view of Central Park.
“Wow,” was all I could say as I stepped across the room and walked right to the windows.
From this penthouse level, the people below looked like ants and the cars looked like toys. But the park with its sprawling acres of greenery — it was like the best of New York was laid out at my feet.
“This is fabulous, Jas ….” I faced her and pulled back my enthusiasm. “I mean, Jasmine.”
She tilted her head. “You used to call me Jas all the time.” “Yes.” I nodded. “Back … when we were friends.”
She opened her mouth, as if she were about to protest, but then, sighed as if she realized her words would do no good. Reaching for my suitcase, she said, “Come on,” her voice tight now.“I’ll show you where you can freshen up.”
From the grand room, we walked down a long mahogany paneled hall, and then, I followed her into a bedroom that was just as elegant as everything else in the apartment.
Jasmine rolled my suitcase into the room and set it next to the canopied-bed. “Your bathroom is here.” She pointed toward a door. “There are fresh towels and everything that you’ll need. It’s a Jack and Jill bathroom, another guest room is on the other side. The kids’ rooms, along with our nanny’s and our office are upstairs and the master suite is on the other side of the apartment. So you have complete privacy.”
I listened to Jasmine give me the facts, so impassively as if she were not impressed by what was clearly impressive. There was not a bit of braggadocio in her tone, which was so different from the Jasmine that I knew. That Jasmine would have still been in awe of her accomplishments. This Jasmine was not.
At the window, she drew open the velvet drapes before she faced me. “Mrs. Sloss will be getting the kids up for school soon. What would you like for breakfast?”
“Your kids.”
The smile that lit her face was nothing that I’d ever seen on Jasmine before. “I have two, can you believe it?” She scooted onto the edge of the high bed and kicked up her feet.“Me, married with two kids.”
She laughed and I couldn’t help but chuckle with her. “Ky, I never knew that I could be so happy.”
“Wow.” I sat down next to her. “The Jasmine I knew had a hard time being happy.”
The ends of her lips dipped. “I keep trying to tell you that Jasmine is gone. She was looking in all the wrong places for happiness. But once I settled down, I found my happiness in Christ.” I thought back to all the times when I’d tried to talk to Jasmine about God and all the times that she’d laughed at me. “So, you really did that? You gave your life to Christ?”
“Uh-huh.” She nodded. “It hasn’t been the easiest journey for me, learning how to bow not just my knees, but my heart to God, too. But it’s a journey that I’m still traveling and I’m enjoying the trip.”
I let her words settle. “Who would have ever thought that I’d be sitting in this magnificent apartment with you, talking about God and your kids.”
“I know, right?”
She laughed, but I brought her down a notch when I said, “So this is real, it’s not just an act?”
If she’d been a candle, my words had just blown out her flame. She lowered her eyes as if my words had really hurt her. Inside, I shrugged. I wasn’t trying to be a mean girl in any kind of way. I just … didn’t trust her.
“I know why you would ask me that.” She looked down at her folded hands. “There have been so many things in my life that I wish I could take back.”Then, looking up at me, she shook her head. “No, I don’t. I wouldn’t change anything about my life because all of that dirt that I did and stuff that I caused … I know I hurt a lot of people, and I’m really so sorry about that part. But I also know that God used all of that to bring me right here. Without any one of those things, I wouldn’t be here today, Ky. I’m a better person today because I wasn’t so good before.”
I knew she was talking about a lot of things in general; I knew she was talking about Jefferson in particular.
She confirmed my thought when she said, “I don’t think I will ever be able to apologize enough to you for what happened with me and Jefferson.”
This was where I was probably supposed to tell her that I forgave her. What I said was, “So, you must have pictures of your kids.”
Now, it was like I lit that wick again. She grabbed her cell phone from inside her purse, flipped through a couple of screens, then held out her phone for me. “This is Zaya.”
“Oh, my goodness,” I said, chuckling at the photo of a young man in a wide-legged stance, wearing a dark pinned-striped suit with his hands pushed into his pockets. His open-collar made him look so cool, and what was even better was that he held the exact pose as his father, who stood behind him.“He is so handsome. My goodness, Jasmine, he looks just like his father. A mini-Hosea.”
The was nothing but love in her laughter. “He does, doesn’t he?” I said, “And his name, so unusual. Zaya?” I looked up at Jasmine. “He’s actually Hosea the second, but when he was born, Jacquie was only two and when she said Hosea, it came out Zaya, so that’s how he’s known to the world.”
“Ah! I get it.” I laughed.
Jasmine reached for her phone and flipped to the next picture. “And this is my eleven-year-old diva, Jacqueline.”
I took the phone back from Jasmine and froze, though unfortunately, my mouth didn’t. “Oh, my God. She looks just like Brian.” I paused so that I could breathe and my mind pressed repeat. “She looks like Brian.”
I was shocked, though I didn’t know why. I guess I’d forgotten just how scandalous Jasmine had been. She’d slept with my husband first, but then a few years later, had gone after Brian. She had slept with two best friends, almost destroying two marriages, getting pregnant by one of the men.
I shuddered thinking how this could have been me, how by the grace of God (because I did ask Jefferson if he’d used a condom) I wasn’t looking at a photo double of a mini Jefferson. I wasn’t sure if Jefferson and I would have survived that.
She took the phone from my hand, though she had to tug a little bit since I was still kinda in a frozen state. She said nothing and I’d said too much.
She tucked the phone back into her purse, then stood. “Mrs. Sloss, my h
ousekeeper, makes a mean breakfast,” she said as if her plan was to just roll over what I’d said. Looking down, she added, “She doesn’t believe in the kids eating just cereal, so after you freshen up, you can have breakfast if you want,” she looked up, “or not.” She paused waiting for me to say something. I didn’t. “You can take a nap, too. Anything that you want.”
I nodded.
She did the same, then moved toward the door. Right when she stepped to the threshold, I called out to her.
When she turned back, I said, “Thank you.”
She gave me just a single dip of her chin, then closed the door behind her. I didn’t wait even a half a moment before I grabbed my cell phone.
Pressing the name, I then held the phone to my ear, not even wanting to take the time to plug in my earbuds.
After just two rings, I heard, “Hello.”
Alexis’s voice was filled with sleep, and that was the first time I glanced at the clock. The clock hadn’t clicked to eight, which meant the sun wasn’t even thinking about rising in Los Angeles yet.
“Oh, my God, Alexis. I’m sorry.”
“No, no, that’s okay,” she said, her voice coming to life. “You know you can call me at any time and your mom and I thought you were going to call last night.”
“I know.” I paced at the foot of the bed, though it was hard to pick up any kind of speed since my feet kept sinking into the thick carpet. “I was; I was just so exhausted.”
“That’s what we figured.”
I said, “But I’m not too tired to talk to you now. I had to talk to you.”
“Why? What’s up?” She was at full attention now. “Did something happen with Jefferson?”
“No, I’m going to speak to the doctor as soon as I get back to the hospital.”
“Back? Where are you? Did you check into a hotel?”
“No.” I settled onto the bed and lowered my voice even more, just in case Jasmine had her ear pressed to the door. “I’m at Jasmine’s house.”
There was a pause. “Jasmine who?”
I was sure Alexis knew who I was talking about. Still, I clarified, “Jasmine Cox Larson.”
Another pause. “Jasmine Cox Larson who?” “Come on, Alexis. You know who.”
“Yeah, I do. But I was thinking it was five o’clock in the morning, so something had to be wrong with my ears or your mouth. So … what are you doing there?”
“They met me at the hospital yesterday. As soon as I got there. I was having a breakdown, long story. But Jasmine and Hosea were there and they’ve been there ever since.”
“So, Hosea was with her?” Alexis didn’t give me a chance to respond. “Then, her showing up there was legit. He’s a good guy.”
“He is. He’s exactly like you said.”
I could almost feel Alexis nodding. “I’ll never forget meeting him when he was in L.A. with his show and when I found out ….” She paused.“When I found out that Jasmine had screwed my husband and had a baby.”
“That’s why I called. All this time since I’ve been here, I couldn’t stop thinking about what she had done with Jefferson. I’d forgotten about her … and Brian. Alexis, she just showed me a picture of the little girl.”
“Jacqueline.”
“Yeah. And she looks just like Brian.”
“I know. I told you that, you just forgot. That was how I found out, remember? I took one look at that little girl and wondered how had Brian’s face gotten onto that little body.” Alexis paused. “So, I guess she hasn’t grown out of that.”
“She hasn’t. Anybody could be her mother because she took everything from Brian.” There was silence, and I said, “Alex, I’m sorry. If this is too much. It’s just that I was so shocked. I wasn’t prepared.”
“No, don’t be sorry. Actually I’m glad to know that she’s okay.
That everything is okay back there.”
“Really?” I scooted back on the bed, kicked off my shoes, then, sank onto the silk duvet. “I don’t know how you did it. How did you forgive Jasmine?”
“Well,” she paused as if she needed to really think about her answer, “first of all, Jacqueline is still Brian’s daughter, so how could I wish anything bad for her … or her mother? I really want the best for that little girl.”
“I get that part, but what about Jasmine?”
Alexis took another pause. “I’m not sure if I can really explain it, but once I decided to get back with Brian, I had to forgive Jasmine first. I needed to kick her out of our bed because at one point, she was right there with us. But once I forgave her, I let her go — I let all of those images in my mind go. And then, I could really forgive Brian and get us back together. It wasn’t easy, though.”
As close as Alexis and I were, I was trying to remember had we ever had this conversation. When she’d divorced Brian, she didn’t want to talk about him at all. But when they worked to get back together, it never seemed appropriate when we were working so hard to focus on the positive.
I said, “I thought I’d forgiven Jasmine — until I saw her.” “Yeah, it’s easy to be a good Christian from a distance. The true test is when it’s right there in your face … whew. I don’t know if I could stay in her house.”
“I’m not staying.” I shook my head as if she could see me. “I have to get out of here.”
“Now, wait,” Alexis said before I got the words completely out of my mouth. “Just because I said I don’t know if I could stay there, I think you should. I mean, it’s hard enough worrying about you being three thousand miles away and handling Jefferson by yourself. But knowing that you’re there with Hosea, at least that makes me feel better.”
“I don’t know.”
“Come on, you said so yourself — Hosea is a good guy.” “Then, what’s he doing with Jasmine?”
Alexis laughed. “Good point. But seriously, though, you need to stay there so that you have some kind of support. You don’t have to be her best friend; that position is filled. But you do need somewhere to rest and someone to lean on. And in New York, there’s no one better than Hosea Bush.”
“Well, Nicole is trying to get here.”
“Good, but in the meantime, just until Nicole makes it there, hang out with Hosea.”
It sounded like it could be a good idea, but the only challenge was Hosea came as a package. I didn’t say that to Alexis, though. I changed to, “How’s Mom?”
“Sleep.”
I chuckled. “I know that.”
“Well, that’s her current state. You want me to have her call you when she wakes up?”
“Yeah. That would be good. I hope I have some better news to give her, to give you, too.”
“You will. That’s my prayer. So get back to your husband and I’m going to get back to sleep. And call me if anything changes.” “I will. I love you, girl.”
“I love you more.”
When I ended the call, I did it with a sigh. Besides Pastor Ford and my mom, Alexis was always such a guiding spiritual light. She had more of a reason to hate Jasmine, than I did. Yet, she really sounded like she had forgiven her — at least from afar.
I crossed my ankles, pulled my knees to my chest, and wrapped my arms around my legs. After talking to Alexis, I wondered how much of this situation had to do with me and Jasmine. Could all of this be some kind of divine set-up to bring me and Jasmine together? I just never knew with God — He would use the craziest situations to teach. Maybe hidden somewhere in all of this pain, was a lesson on forgiveness, the real kind that came with forgetting, the way Alexis seemed to have done. I’d given complete forgiveness to Jefferson; did I owe that to Jasmine, too?
I placed my cell phone onto the nightstand, then rolled off the bed. From the canopied bed to the cherry-stained nightstands, matching ceiling fan, along with the antique leaning mirror in the corner, this room looked like it was straight out of an upscale designer magazine.
If her surroundings were any indication, if the clothes she now wore told the story, Ja
smine was different. Maybe I needed to do what she asked:
Can you do me a favor and try not to remember who I used to be?
As I made my way to the bathroom, I vowed that I would try my best. I’d try to see her for who she said she was now. The only thing: in order to do that, I’d have to trust her.
And trusting Jasmine Cox Larson Bush — that was going to be the hard part.
chapter 9
Jasmine
I walked into our bedroom, just as Hosea was coming out of the bathroom. Usually, my husband being wrapped in a towel was enough to take my thoughts all the way to the right. But at this moment, I just nodded at him, tossed my purse onto the chaise and then, flopped down on the bed.
He frowned, then walked over and sat next to me. “Is everything all right?”
I shook my head, but knew that I needed to fill him in quickly.
So, I said, “Nothing’s changed with Jefferson,” before I sighed.
Hosea didn’t seem to notice, though. He released his own long breath. “But I guess you wanted Kyla to come back with you and she didn’t, huh?”
“No. She did. She’s downstairs in the guest room.”
Confusion clouded his face and filled his tone. “Okay, that’s good, right?” He didn’t give me a chance to respond. “She can get some rest, get something to eat, and maybe you can even talk her into relaxing a bit. I can go to the hospital so that Jefferson won’t be alone while you stay here with her.”
“I don’t think she’s going to be here that long.” “Oh.” He nodded. “She wants to get right back.” “That … and she wants to get away from me.” He twisted his waist so that he faced me full-on.
After a moment, I said, “Hosea, there’s something I have to tell you. There’s something I want to tell you because I really need your help.”
Now, I pivoted so that I faced him and my glance hit right in the center of his bare chest. His skin glistened from the moisture that remained from his shower.“You’re gonna have to get dressed.” I shook my head and waved my finger. “I can’t focus when you’re dressed … or undressed like that.”
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