Burn So Bright

by Jennifer Bernard

  She interrupted the short, awkward silence as if nothing had happened. “I could show you some of the fun stuff I arrange for honeymooners.”

  “In the bedroom or out?”

  She laughed. “Do you make a joke out of every single thing?”

  “No,” he said, in his most serious voice.

  Even though she got the joke and laughed, he kept a straight face. “There are a lot of things I don’t joke about. I never joke about fire, especially wildfires. I never joke about racial stuff. I’ve heard that kind of joke on the fire lines, but I don’t like it. It doesn’t add anything, you know? I never joke about gays. It just makes you look homophobic. And that makes you look gay.”

  She slanted a narrow-eyed glance at him. “Is that supposed to be a joke?”

  “Okay, so I do joke about joking about gays.”

  “You’re crazy.” She shook her head as they approached the quaint downtown area with its old-fashioned lampposts and cedar-shingled buildings.

  “Do you have something against jokes?”

  “Not per se, no. But there ought to be some serious mixed in with the jokes, don’t you think?” She stopped the car outside the Milky Way Ice Cream Parlor. “How about we start with an ice cream cone and go from there?”

  They ordered two double-scoop cones—heavy on the chocolate for her, while he chose an all-green combination of pistachio and mint chocolate chip. He tried to avoid the sight of her little pink tongue lapping at the ice cream as they strolled down Constellation Way.

  “I think I’m finally starting to get used to the ubiquitous stargazing theme,” Josh mused as they passed the Rings of Saturn Jewelers.

  “Are you ready for the Jupiter Point history lesson I give my honeymoon clients? They always ask me when all the stargazing stuff started.”

  “Sure. Shoot.” He savored the cool sweetness on his tongue, happy to listen to her pretty voice.

  “After they built the observatory, the Milky Way was the first business to cater to the tourists who started coming. Then the Goodnight Moon B&B opened and it was completely booked from like, day one. The owner noticed that the bulk of the guests were couples. One night, he went around the breakfast room and counted three couples celebrating their anniversaries and five on their honeymoons. He told his sister about the strange coincidence. It was a total lightbulb moment. Jupiter Point used to be more or less a fishing village, but that industry was having a tough time. Her husband was a fisherman and every year his catch was going down. So they decided to sell their boat and open Stars in Your Eyes. She advertised in the wedding announcement sections of newspapers in San Francisco and Los Angeles, other places all up and down the West Coast. It all just took off from there.”

  Josh was so mesmerized by the sound of her voice that he’d forgotten his ice cream until it dripped onto his hand. “That’s where you work, right?”

  “Yes. I started working there in high school. I just love all the history here. It’s so unique, you know? Did you know we have a town motto?”

  “Wait, let me guess. ‘Jupiter Point: We’re All from Planet Mars.’”

  She laughed, tossing her head back. He admired the line of her throat, which was just as long and vibrant as the rest of her. “No, goofy. It’s ‘Remember to Look Up at the Stars.’ I like it. I actually use that phrase to remind myself that my problems aren’t really that big, if you look at the whole scheme of things.”

  “Yup. A wildfire will do the same thing.”

  “Mmm.” Having consumed all the ice cream mounded above her cone, she stuck out her tongue to lick the cone itself. He dragged his gaze away from the tempting sight. “You were in that burnover, weren’t you? The one they’re making a movie about?”

  “Yes, I was there. I asked if Matthew McConaughey could play me. They said they’d try.”

  She gave him a sidelong, up-and-down scorcher of a look. “I’m sorry, but you’re much cuter than he is. And a lot younger. They could do better.”

  He was surprised into momentary silence. Since when had Suzanne decided to start complimenting him? He should wear booties over his cowboy boots more often.

  “So where do you live when it isn’t fire season?” she asked him as she nibbled on her cone. The evening light gave her eyes a deep cobalt sheen.

  “Nowhere.”

  “What do you mean, nowhere? Where’s your stuff?”

  “I have a storage unit in Boulder. I leave stuff at a few friends’ houses every winter. But a house would just be a waste of money for me. I travel in the winter.”

  Suzanne had stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. Passersby swirled around her as she stared at him, her ice cream cone forgotten. “Are you telling me you’re homeless?”

  “I guess you could say that.” He shrugged. “I don’t need a home. I spent last winter surfing in Baja. I lived in a little palapa not far from the beach. The rent was about a dollar a night. I make enough money during the summer that I can do whatever I want in the off-season. I was thinking I might go to New Zealand this winter.”

  “But don’t you…I mean, what happens when you…you have to have a home. At least a home base.”

  “Not really.” He didn’t understand what she was so upset about. “I use the hotshot base as my address. You can do everything online now anyway. It works out great. No bills, no debt, no renting out my place or worrying about something happening to it when I’m gone all summer.”

  The appalled look on her face made him laugh out loud.

  “But…I mean…what about later on?” They reached the Goodnight Moon B&B, with its night jasmine vines cascading over a wrought iron fence. The fragrant blossoms were just starting to open, glowing like little stars in the deep green tangle.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, you’re, what…late twenties? My age, or maybe a little older?”

  “I’m twenty-seven.”

  “You can’t live like a hobo forever. Don’t you want to settle somewhere, have a family?

  “Nope.” He stuffed his mouth with a huge chunk of ice cream in the hopes that she’d drop the subject. But this was Suzanne and she had a level of determination he’d already learned to respect.

  “You want to just travel around forever? Don’t you want to have kids?”

  “Nope.”

  “But you’re so good with kids!” Again with the compliments. This was starting to make him nervous. “I watched you at the party at the observatory. They loved you. Even the emo ones.”

  “Kids are a lot of fun. I like how they think. And they like me because I take them as they are. I don’t look at them and think they should be different, the way most adults do.” He raised a pointed eyebrow at her.

  She made a little face at him. “Point taken. But you’re not a kid. You’re a man.” She swept a quick glance down his body. He liked how that felt. He liked that she was aware of him in that way, even though he wasn’t crazy about the critical tone in her voice.

  “I’m glad you noticed.”

  “Yeah, well, you know I did.” Even in the near darkness, he saw the flush rise in her cheeks. “But being a man involves more than just the equipment.”

  “Right. You have to know how to use it too. I’ve been working hard on that part.”

  She quickly turned back to her ice cream. “I’m sure you have. But of course that’s not what I mean. I mean you have to be responsible. You have to set goals for the future. That’s the part I’m wondering about.”

  The hell if he was going to defend his choices to her. If fighting fires and saving lives and property wasn’t enough for her, then whatever. She didn’t know anything about him and his life. He decided to turn the question back on her.

  “I suppose you and Logan will be expanding your perfect family before too long.”

  “Of course. We’re planning to wait until Logan’s law practice is more established, but when it’s the responsible thing to do, we will.”

  “Hmm.” The less he said about Logan, the b
etter. Every time the dude’s name came up he felt his hackles rise.

  “What does that mean, hmm?” The edge in her voice increased with every word she spoke. She cocked her hip and planted one hand on it. Her long hair flowed over her shoulders, the moon glow giving it a soft, lemon-blossom sheen.

  “No meaning. Christ, Suzanne. Relax.”

  “See, that’s the problem with you. You’re too relaxed. If you want to get anywhere in life, you have to be organized and work hard. You can’t just roam around the world whenever you feel like it.” She gestured with her ice cream cone, nearly hitting a woman who was passing behind them. The woman gave them a wide berth.

  “Who says I can’t? I’ve been making my decisions since I turned eighteen. I can do what I want.” He finished his ice cream cone and brushed his hand on his pants.

  “That’s fine for an eighteen-year-old, but you’re supposed to be a grown-up by now.” She took a step forward, but he snagged her arm before she could escape.

  “Okay, that’s it. You don’t know enough about me for that lecture. Maybe I have good reason not to get married.” He did—damn good reason. But he wasn’t going to explain it to someone so determined to think the worst of him.

  “Well, I suppose it’s best if you don’t get married. You’d have to stick with it, stay in one place and all that. And I don’t mean Neverland.”

  And there she was—the Suzanne who always needled him and seemed to look down on him from some great self-righteous height. So much for the compliments. “Think what you want about me. At least I don’t need a ridiculous rundown castle to be happy.”

  Ice cream dripped into her fingers from the mostly-finished cone. “And that’s exactly why we’re completely different and should have nothing to do with each other.”

  “Do you hear me arguing?”

  For a moment they simply glared at each other. The sweet, wistful fragrance of the jasmine wound between them, like a cat purring against their ankles.

  The porch light of the Goodnight Moon B&B winked on. An older man in a sweater vest called to them in a low voice, “Pssst. You two, arguing on the sidewalk. You’re a real mood-killer for my guests. Would you like your honeymoon ruined by strangers having a lovers’ quarrel?”

  Suzanne rounded on the man. “Sorry, Benito, but you’re way off. This isn’t a lovers’ quarrel.”

  “Nope. No honeymoon for us,” Josh added. “That would be a disaster.”

  “Just keep it down, would you? Or better yet, move along.” The man shook his head and went back inside.

  “Great,” muttered Suzanne. “Now everyone in town is going to think you and I are fighting.”

  After a long stare, he let out a hoot of laughter. “We were fighting.”

  “I know we were fighting. But it wasn’t that kind of fighting.” She finished her cone, licking the last drops of ice cream off her fingers. He tried not to think of pretzels and her tongue.

  And despite everything she’d said to him, he wanted her. He wanted to sweep her off her feet and make her eyes go wide with desire. He wanted to kiss that luscious, tart-tongued mouth. He wanted to show her he wasn’t what she thought.

  The air between them practically vibrated with tension—the best kind of tension. She felt it too; he saw her eyes widen. His hands twitched. The desire to reach out to her was so intense, he had to curl his hands into fists to stop himself.

  No. Just…no. The reasons tumbled through his head. She was engaged. She wanted marriage and an absurd house and all sorts of things he didn’t. She looked at him as some kind of overgrown kid. She jumped to assumptions and thought his freewheeling lifestyle was all wrong.

  No doubt about it—he and Suzanne should have nothing more to do with each other.

  At least they could agree on that.

  8

  After her parents had left the country in a mad midnight scramble, Suzanne had Casa di Stella to herself for two months, until the McGraws insisted she stay with them. During that time, she used to explore the empty house, poking into the rooms that used to be off-limits. One of those was her father’s study, which contained shelves and shelves full of books on business and investing. To feel close to her missing parents, she’d curl up in her dad’s study and read those books as if they were bedtime stories.

  That was when a huge revelation had changed her attitude about everything. Her father, she learned from those books, had taken foolish risks with his business. If only he’d been more careful, more logical and goal-oriented, maybe she’d still have a family and a real home.

  The lesson? Be practical. Make a plan. Stick to the plan.

  From then on, she clung to those principles like a lifeboat in a storm-tossed ocean. Her more freewheeling, fun-loving side was no longer in charge. Nope. Those childhood days were over.

  The first rule she’d learned was to focus on the things she could control, not the things she couldn’t. She couldn’t control her parents. She couldn’t control the financial disaster happening around the country. But she could focus on her own life. She could make a plan for herself.

  Make a goal and work toward it. That made sense to her. Even when nothing else did.

  So she’d created a Dream File filled with everything she wanted in her life. Dream Files were good—they kept you looking ahead, aspiring for greater things. She consulted it often and added to it whenever she wanted. The most recent addition was Logan and their wedding plans. But long before that, getting Casa di Stella back had been goal number one.

  Over the next few days, Suzanne poured her energy into that goal. She chased down every piece of information Mrs. Chu asked for—which was a lot. She got her partner, Marlene, to write a letter of recommendation; she unearthed her college transcripts, her high school transcripts.

  The one thing she couldn’t control was her thoughts and the way they strayed to Josh Marshall. The morning after their fight on the sidewalk outside the B&B, she woke up groaning at her own rudeness. Why had she spoken to him that way? He’d gone out of his way to help her out—he’d put booties over his boots!—and how had she thanked him? By insulting his entire lifestyle! So what if he wanted to travel in the winter? What was wrong with that?

  After a solid hour of scolding herself, she called him to apologize. But the crew had been sent to a fire in Northern California and she couldn’t get through.

  Fighting a fire. Risking his life. While she was planning a moonlight cruise for a couple who wanted to watch the Perseid meteor shower from a sailboat.

  Josh probably hated her by now, and she couldn’t blame him. She’d been completely out of line.

  That weekend, Logan came to visit her for the first time in a month. She picked him up at the little airport that served the entire county, about an hour away from Jupiter Point. Normally she loved watching him descend the escalator from the arrivals level. He’d usually be checking his phone for everything he’d missed on the short flight. He always carried a messenger bag packed with his laptop and whatever books he was using at the moment. Even though he wasn’t as physically fit as, oh, say, a wildfire fighter, he knew how to present himself, how to carry himself with confidence. Maybe even arrogance, a bit. But that didn’t matter. He was a brilliant lawyer; he had a right to be arrogant.

  When he reached the ground level, he finally looked up from his phone. He stashed it in his pocket as he shot her a quick smile. “Hey, cutie,” he said, bending to brush a kiss on her lips.

  At the last second, she turned her head away and his mouth touched her cheek instead.

  “Cold sore,” she improvised when he looked at her questioningly.

  “Bummer. Better stay away from me, then. I can’t get sick. Too much studying.”

  “Do you have to study all weekend?” She pouted a bit as she threaded her arm through his. “I was thinking we could start making plans.”

  “That’s your thing. I just want to fucking sleep. It’s been brutal, all these study sessions.”

  Was it really just
the studying that had been taking all his time? Or was it the free pass? She shoved the thought aside.

  “Sure, of course I can make the plans. It’s what I do.” She pretended to preen. “I’m the planner extraordinaire of the entire Jupiter Point area. Speaking of which…how would you like to drive by Casa di Stella on the way home?”

  One downside of having Josh play stand-in was that she couldn’t exactly arrange another showing with a different man. But she could at least show him the outside. Hopefully he’d get inspired by her vision of it. Unlike Josh, who just saw it as a ridiculous eyesore.

  “Maybe another time.” Logan gave a massive yawn. “I’ve had less than three hours of sleep over the past two days. I’m toast, babe. I want sleep and a cocktail. Maybe some sex. That’s all I can handle.”

  “Sure, I understand.” Suzanne decided not to mention that Evie had invited them over for dinner. Or that there was an outdoor festival at Stargazer Beach. Or any of the other fun things she’d lined up.

  Logan was going to be a lawyer, an extremely successful one. She’d have to get used to him being busy and exhausted. It was the price they had to pay for the kind of life they wanted.

  Just as he’d warned her, he spent much of the weekend asleep. When he wasn’t sleeping, he ranted about the professor who’d refused to give him a recommendation, a member of his study group who wasn’t holding up her end, and how hard it was to get a job at the top law firms these days, the famous ones in the big cities.

  “But Logan, I thought we agreed you were going to stay in the central or Northern California area?”

  “I’m hoping. But I have to see who makes the best offer. You gotta go where the money is.”

  Go where the money is. A chill settled through her. Did she want to go where the money was? Where was that? Would she even have a say in where they went? “What if the money’s in Hong Kong or something?”

  “I guess we learn Chinese. Don’t worry about it. Whatever we have to do, right? Eyes on the prize.”

  “Eyes on the prize.”

  But what was the prize? More and more, she wasn’t sure she knew. Ask her two weeks ago and she would have said “security” and “a nice life” based on a solid financial foundation.