In Search of Lucy: A Novel

by Lia Fairchild

  She decided to let him off the hook. She didn’t know why he was trying so hard, but he was. “It’s okay, I know what you meant.”

  “Could we please give this one more shot? How about next weekend, maybe Friday night? I’d love to take you out to dinner.” He stood just staring at her as if he would wait an eternity for her answer.

  Lucy couldn’t figure out why he would bother with her after what happened and the way she acted. At that moment, she didn’t care. All she knew was that this guy with the gleaming white teeth and sparkling blue eyes was being nice to her and wanted to spend time with her. So she opened her purse, took out an old grocery receipt and a pen, and wrote down her number.

  “This is my cell,” she said, reaching out with the paper.

  “Great!” He reached out to take the paper, grabbing ahold of her hand in the process.

  “Why don’t you call me on Wednesday or Thursday and we’ll see about the weekend.” She smiled and pulled her hand out of his. Then she got in her car and started it up, while Kyle was still frozen in his position.

  “Bye, Lucy.” He waved as she drove off, holding a foolish grin on his face. When her car was out of the parking lot, he pulled out his cell phone. Staring at the piece of paper, he immediately programmed the number in. He didn’t want to take any chances with losing that paper. Kyle already planned to call her Wednesday after work as he knew he wouldn’t be able to wait for Thursday. In his mind he had already mapped out their date and was looking forward to finding out what this girl was all about.

  CHAPTER 10

  Could there be anything more humiliating than sitting on that loud, crumply paper, wearing that hideous gown and wondering if it was okay that you left your socks on? It had been nearly three years since Lucy had been to the doctor, and it was all she could do to keep herself from hopping off that table and sliding on out of there in her slippery socks.

  Of course she had not received any reminders in the mail about her annual checkup, she told her doctor’s office when she called for an appointment. Given the length of time since she’d been in, and the importance of what was possibly to come, Dr. Carlson insisted on Lucy going in and talking with her about the situation. She would need a full examination in addition to all the tests.

  Lucy told Anne and Benny the night before about her sister and that she needed to get tested. Anne offered to drive Lucy to her appointment, and for once, Lucy felt like she wanted to accept an offer for help. The testing itself was no big deal, but the whole idea of what this all meant was just too much to handle alone. In the waiting room, she filled Anne in on some of the details of her family life. Since they had to squeeze her into the schedule, the two had plenty of time to talk. Lucy even let it slip about her possible date with Kyle. Opening up had always been difficult for Lucy, but with all of this mental and emotional stress, she just couldn’t hold it back any longer.

  “Oh my God!” Anne whispered and accompanied it with her mini claps. “That’s awesome.”

  Lucy took a quick glance around to see if anyone was looking.

  “I’m not really sure why I gave him my number. Apparently we went to school together, but I don’t really remember.”

  “What’s he like? Is he cute?”

  “I guess so.” Lucy shrugged. “I’ll tell you more when or IF we go out.”

  “If!” Anne said a bit too loudly.

  “Shh.” Lucy looked around embarrassed and noticed the nurse standing in the doorway.

  “Lucy…Lang,” the nurse announced.

  “We’ll talk about this later,” she said quietly as she got up from the chair.

  “You’re going!” Anne broadcasted as Lucy walked off.

  With the only magazine in the room being a parenting book, Lucy grew bored. She was on her second round of reading the posters on the wall when she suddenly began to appreciate what her sister was going through. The uneasiness she was feeling was nothing compared to what Katie must be enduring. Being in those cold rooms, away from your cozy home, not knowing what was going to happen, worrying about Carly—they were all things Katie had to deal with regularly. Lucy could feel the struggle within her heart. She hoped that one day her feelings of love and concern would win the battle over hurt and anger. She wanted to understand what Katie was going through back then, but she couldn’t. Lucy had never experienced true love, and she certainly didn’t know what it was like to be pregnant. Though she did understand what it was like to be a mother. She could still hear Katie’s words during their final argument before Katie left.

  “You’re always trying to fix things! You can’t fix this, Lucy!” Katie had shouted, holding her stomach. “It’s done! And now we’re trying to do the best we can to make it right.”

  “I just don’t know if it’s the right decision to leave. I can only help you if you stay.”

  “It’s not your choice; it’s mine and Rick’s.”

  Feeling powerless and hurt, Lucy had said, “Do you even realize the sacrifices I’ve made to take care of you? I should be graduating from college right now, but instead I’m here. I’ve done my best to do what’s right for you, and I’m not going to stop now!”

  “I didn’t ask you to be my mother. I have a mother.”

  “Yeah? Well where is she? And when was the last time you went to her for something, anyway? I’m the one who helped you with your homework, who talked you through all those tough times at school…and dealing with Mom.”

  “Well now I need to start making my own decisions. And maybe if I’m not around, you can finally get a life.” Katie picked up a duffle bag that was sitting on the floor next to the couch. “I’m going to Texas with Rick, and we’re going to have this baby. All I need right now is Rick.” She’d walked out the door and didn’t look back.

  Lucy had stood staring at the door. That last comment had been like a knife through her heart. How could she have said Lucy needed to get a life? Katie was her life. She stood, hoping that Katie would come back, but knowing that she wouldn’t. There had been other fights, other times Katie had stormed out, and she always came back. They would both apologize, then share a pint of Cherry Garcia while watching Gilligan’s Island. That was Katie’s favorite show, and they had all the old seasons on DVD.

  The odd part of that memory was that Lucy had no recollection of where her mother was on that day. Probably because it really hadn’t mattered at that point. All that mattered was that she felt so alone and helpless. A feeling that Lucy hadn’t been able to shake all these years. Nothing had been able to fill the void left by her shattered family.

  Now both Lucy and Katie were vulnerable and needed a way out. Lucy had prayed earlier for her sister to make it through this. She had hoped that she could help in some way. Even if she was not a match, she had to do something. Lucy planned to call Katie later that afternoon to let her know she had gone to the doctor. She hoped that just hearing Katie’s voice would make her feel more at ease.

  “Good afternoon, Lucy,” Dr. Carlson said as she entered the room holding Lucy’s file. She seemed especially young for a doctor. She had short brown hair that almost looked like a man, yet was very fashionable.

  “Hi, Dr. Carlson.”

  “Well I’m glad you finally decided to come in. I know this isn’t the best of circumstances, but we’ll take a good look at you first and make sure everything’s okay, and then we’ll run the tests. Sound good?”

  “Yep.”

  Dr. Carlson sat down in the chair next to Lucy and read the chart results from the nurse’s preliminary checks. “Looks like your blood pressure’s a bit low; nothing to be concerned about.”

  Dr. Carlson proceeded with the rest of the exam, including a gynecological exam, during which there was a bit of small talk. She asked Lucy about her sister and preached about the importance of regular checkups for Lucy. Then Dr. Carlson confirmed with Lucy everything they’d be looking for in terms of being a match for Katie. They would need to check blood and tissue type, general health including
physical and mental, and of course health of her kidneys. Lucy had received all the information with the kit but didn’t end up reading it all at the time. Talk about not doing your homework. Now she felt incredibly overwhelmed by it all and was concerned about some of the requirements.

  “Are you okay, Lucy?” Dr. Carlson asked when she noticed the look on Lucy’s face.

  “I’m fine,” Lucy replied. “It’s just a lot of information. I didn’t realize—”

  “Are you sure this is what you want to do? It’s a very big decision—there’s a lot to consider.”

  “Actually, there’s nothing to consider. I would do absolutely anything to help my sister. If I’m a match, I won’t hesitate at all.”

  “That’s nice to hear. I’m sure your sister feels very lucky to have you.”

  “I’m not sure about that. We actually haven’t spoken to each other in years.”

  “Well, maybe this will bring you back together.” Dr. Carlson smiled at Lucy, closed her file, and stood to leave.

  “Can I ask you a question?” Lucy asked a bit hesitantly.

  Dr. Carlson simply nodded and gave a, “Mmm-hmm.”

  “What if I’m a match, but I haven’t really been taking care of myself for a while? What will happen? I mean, can I still donate?”

  “Oh, well you don’t have to be concerned about that now. Why don’t you wait to see what the results show. Anyway, if you are a match, the process could take a while. And if there are some lifestyle changes you can make, Lucy, there’s no reason you shouldn’t start doing that now.”

  Lucy nodded as if she were a child being directed by an adult. “Okay.”

  “It will just be a minute, and a nurse will take you to another room for some tests,” Dr. Carlson said, moving toward the door. “Take care, Lucy. We’ll see you soon.”

  CHAPTER 11

  Katie stared at the computer screen on her laptop, reading over the last few sentences she’d written. I can’t believe how amazing you are. Right now your favorite game is poker, and you love deuces wild. You are so smart, Carly Jean. BTW, you lost your first tooth yesterday.

  This was what made Katie feel at peace. It was what made her forget about what she was going through. She started Carly’s journal when she was just eight months old. Katie had two reasons for doing this. One, she didn’t want to forget a single moment of the precious gift she had been given. That’s also why she was always taking pictures. The other reason was she wanted to be able to give it to Carly when she was older. Katie herself had very few memories to enjoy. The best times were when she was much younger. There were a couple of unfinished photo albums, but it was difficult for her to put the pieces together.

  There could be one more advantage to having this documented keepsake for Carly as she got older, but that was something Katie did not want to think about. And although Rick thought about that in the back of his mind, he never brought it up.

  Katie continued typing and then paused for a moment. Usually at some point she would hear tiptoeing little feet trying to come in for a peek. Katie always told Carly it was a surprise and she had to wait until she was older. This time the feet she heard were louder and much heavier. Coming from around the corner, Rick entered the room. He walked over to the bed where Katie had the computer balanced on her crisscrossed legs.

  “Hey,” Katie said. She looked up from her writing with a cheery smile.

  “Hey, babe.” Rick walked over to the bed and leaned over, then gave her a quick kiss on the lips. “Writing about our little genius again?” He sat down in a chair next to the bed, sliding himself all the way down with his long legs stretched out as if he were settling in for a while.

  “Of course.” She stopped typing and set the computer to the side. “I just wrote about her tooth and how cute she was when she spit it into her hand.”

  “You’re cute,” Rick said. He looked sweetly at her.

  “What?” she asked, a little embarrassed.

  “You love her so much.”

  “Yeah?”

  “It’s just cute that’s all. You were just beaming when you were talking about her.”

  “So I’m proud and excited about our daughter.”

  “That’s why you are such a great mom. And that’s why you deserve a whole day to yourself.” He sat up, reached into his pocket, and pulled out a small, square box and handed it to Katie. “Happy Mother’s Day.”

  Caught totally off guard, Katie said, “Oh my gosh.” She took the box in her hand and laughed. “I totally forgot. Thank you so much.” She opened the box and found a gold heart locket on a chain. The front of the heart had two gems embedded in it, a ruby for her birthstone and a clear diamond for Carly’s. “I love it!”

  “Open it up.”

  Katie wedged open the locket with her fingernail and revealed a tiny picture inside. It was her favorite shot of her holding Carly in the backyard when she was just a few weeks old. Katie’s eyes welled up, and a couple of tears escaped down her cheek. She held the locket by the chain in one hand and reached out with both arms to Rick.

  “You’re the best, you know that?” She held on tight for a few more seconds and then released him and said, “Let me put it on.”

  “Want me to do it?”

  “I got it,” she said, reaching behind her neck and clasping the necklace together.

  “It looks great on you.”

  “Thank you.” She sat up straight and sported a proud smile as if modeling a new dress. About a second later the smile faded some. “Hey…it’s Mother’s Day.”

  “Yeah?” Rick said. He looked confused.

  “So where’s my special girl then?”

  “Well, she had a little plan of her own.” He pointed toward the window behind her where the blinds had been just slightly open. “She said she would be here in a minute.”

  Katie turned to look out the window and saw Carly in the backyard. She was holding a combination of flowers and weeds in her hand and was sitting on a short brick wall rummaging through a plant with her hand. Katie enjoyed the moment and then fought hard against the unpleasant thoughts that often seeped into her brain. She had worked hard over the years to savor every memory and take each day as a blessing. That was getting tougher now that her situation was getting worse. She turned back to her husband, her rock through it all. “Am I doing the right thing? Not just for me, but for you…and for Carly?”

  “Yes. We are doing the right thing.” Rick got up and sat on the small space on the side of the bed next to Katie. “I thought we both agreed that dialysis was running our lives. It’s just too much for you to take. It’s too much for anyone. And like Dr. Brady said, it’s not being as effective now.”

  “I know you’re right.” Katie turned to her side facing Rick and scooted right in and under his arm. That was a place she felt safe. His arm landed tight around her for the finishing touch. “I’m just scared of the surgery, let alone the thought of not finding a match. There’re just so many things to consider and so many things that could go wrong.”

  “Let’s just worry about one thing at a time. That’s why we’re doing it now. So we have the time to find someone…and even if we don’t, you will be on the list. But I have a really good feeling we’re going to find someone. Hand me your computer for a sec.” He took his arm from around her and pushed himself upright. “I’ve got something to show you.”

  Rick put the computer in his lap and double-clicked the icon for the Internet. After a few more clicks, he arrived at his destination.

  Katie looked over his shoulder interested and engaged, and when he stopped clicking and started typing she said, “What? You said you would never join one of those sites.”

  Rick entered his e-mail and password and hit enter on the keyboard. “Check it out, babe.” He made a sweeping motion with his hand as if he were a model on a game show. “We already have thirty-four friends. And some have already agreed to get tested and will give us all their updates through status postings.”

&nb
sp; Katie was speechless and stared at the screen with a wide-open mouth. She wrapped her arms around Rick’s neck and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I can’t believe you did this.”

  “I know, I’m a genius.” He turned his head and looked directly in her eyes. For a few seconds neither moved nor spoke. They did not need words, for at that moment they both knew they were thinking the same thing. Together they could make it through anything. Rick laid his arm across her hip and gave her a long, gentle kiss. The moment could not have been more perfect, and then, suddenly, they felt a cannonball land on the bed.

  “Happy Mother’s Day, Mommy!” Totally unaware of her unfortunate timing, Carly thrust the flower/weed bundle right up to Katie’s face.

  CHAPTER 12

  “Dude! What are you doing?” Kyle’s brother Alex asked as he looked over Kyle’s shoulder. Kyle was sitting at the kitchen table looking through his yearbook. Alex sat down next to his big brother and leaned in. “What’s up, bro?”

  “Oh, hey, Alex,” Kyle said, not even looking up with his greeting. It was late morning, and Alex was wearing navy blue sweat bottoms and a white undershirt.

  “Uh…hello?” He stretched out the “o” sound.

  “What?”

  “What are you doing?”

  “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m looking at my yearbook.”

  “Yeah, but why?” Alex reached across the table for the opened box of cereal and carried it over to the counter. His hair was a shade darker than Kyle’s sandy locks, and it always seemed to have that I don’t care look to it. With his eyes still on his brother, he reached back and grabbed a bowl from the cupboard. He’d already made himself right at home though he had only been staying with Kyle for three days. Stuck with a giant student loan and no job prospects, and not wanting to live with their parents, Alex had asked Kyle if he could move in “for a while.” Kyle wasn’t too worried about what that meant. The two got along well enough, as far as brothers go, and Kyle was actually looking forward to a little change in his life. He himself would admit that things had been pretty mundane as of late.