Lucy was still recovering from her argument with her sister, still processing. She couldn’t think straight, much less relay to Kyle what was going on.
“I can’t talk right now.” Lucy was abrupt. She couldn’t handle any more pressure from anyone, not even from Kyle.
“Call me back when you can.” His voice was urgent and desperate. He knew her well enough by now to know that she was pulling away.
“Please, I just can’t handle this right now. It’s not fair for me to do this to you either.”
“Lucy…don’t do this. It’s going to be okay.”
“I’m sorry, just…please don’t call me. Stop wasting your time. Good-bye, Kyle.”
Lucy knew it was for the best. She just had too much going on, and she was way too up and down. How could she expect a man to deal with that? Especially someone as great as Kyle. Who knows, maybe someday they’d run into each other again. He would say how great she looked, and she would comment on how it was nice to see him. Maybe then they could give it another try.
Katie was still in the backyard when Lucy hung up with Kyle. Anne had been sitting on the couch, watching it all unfold and listening to Lucy’s half of the phone conversation. That was all she needed to figure out exactly what happened and why. Lucy told Anne she was going for a walk and would be back in a little while.
“I’ve got my phone if you need me,” she said as she headed out the door.
When Katie finally came in from the backyard, Anne was sympathetic to say the least. She’d had her share of experiences dealing with the emotional roller coaster that was Lucy’s life. On the other hand, the bit of eavesdropping she did during their conversation did make her see things from Lucy’s point of view. Either way, she felt strongly that it wasn’t her place to judge. She was simply along for the ride. So when Katie came in, she offered a sympathetic ear. The two actually had a nice little conversation—and not just about Lucy either. Katie shared a lot about her illness, things she didn’t feel right about telling Lucy. It helped to talk about it with someone new, but Katie felt that Lucy was dealing with enough and didn’t need the added pressure of the gory details.
Lucy lowered the sunglasses that were perched on top of her head. She often used them as a makeshift hair band, so she was lucky that they were still there. The glare off the sidewalk was hideously bright, but she couldn’t bear to turn back. Her brisk pace matched the speed of her brain reviewing every word she’d exchanged with both Katie and Kyle. Was it me? she thought to herself. Am I the real problem here? Lucy shook her head like a cartoon character trying to clear away the stars above its head. She didn’t want to think about it anymore. She just wanted to walk and walk until she was too tired to think about anything.
It only took about two minutes to round the block to the next street where she finally started to become aware of her surroundings. The houses had what Tom used to call sparkle, which meant they weren’t a bunch of rows of the same boring floor plan. Lucy remembered that and had always dreamt of living in a house with sparkle. Somehow looking over each house with such detail as she passed seemed to calm her, and she slowed her pace. That or the sweat that started to form on the hairline above her forehead.
She passed a two-story with light green shutters and yellow trim on the garage, and a one-story with brick all along the lower portion. When she finally reached the end of the block, it suddenly dawned on her that she should probably pay attention to where she was going. With all the places they’d gone, Lucy did recognize most of the neighboring streets, but she didn’t want to have to call from some unknown destination to get a ride home.
Being out on her own, Lucy realized that she actually hadn’t been alone for quite some time. She thought it was something she wanted, to not be alone as she had been for so many years. But now there was a sense of relief. She felt a kind of freedom being away from everyone. Lucy wondered if she was the type of person who was just meant to be alone. Like one of those old ladies who just had a bunch of cats. The thought of going the rest of her life without sex cleared up that question. She knew she was just feeling overwhelmed and needed some time to catch her breath.
Coming toward her on the sidewalk ahead was a short Hispanic woman and a little boy. The woman was holding the boy’s hand, and in her other hand were grocery bags. Lucy remembered that a couple of blocks down was a small shopping center. The woman must have come from there and was walking home. She smiled as she walked by, and the little boy waved to her. Lucy wondered if they had a car or if they had to walk everywhere in that heat.
As she approached the main cross streets, Lucy checked her phone and then punched the button to cross. She had been gone for about twenty minutes. Even though she had been upset, she didn’t want to worry anyone. Still, Lucy wasn’t ready to go back yet. She headed for the shopping center and tried to recall the stores she had seen when they drove by: Albertsons, a donut shop, a place that just said “Keys,” a coffee shop, and what looked like a little sports pub. When she arrived she was proud of how accurate her recollections were even though she had forgotten about the pet store and missed Panda King altogether. Of course she made a beeline right for the sports pub, but when she was about to grab the handle, she made a quick U-turn and settled for the coffee shop.
When Lucy opened the door to the Coffee Cottage, her first thought was that it didn’t look anything like a cottage—it was more like a mini Denny’s. It had a couple of booths, a few small tables, and a counter. Before taking a seat at the counter, she realized she’d better make sure she still had her emergency ten. It had been a few months since she’d even checked on it. Lucy had learned a long time ago that you can only rely on yourself, and you better be prepared for emergencies. So after way too many times of being stranded without a ride or money, she’d tucked a ten-dollar bill behind her cell phone inside its case.
“Hello,” a woman said from behind the counter as Lucy took a seat. She smiled and wiped the area right in front of Lucy. “Would you like a menu, hon?” Her hair was in a loose bun and obviously dyed blonde, that yellowish Barbie-colored blonde. Her nametag said, “Bobbi.”
“No thank you. Could I just get a coffee, please?”
“Sure, we’ve got some nice fresh muffins if yer interested.” Her Texas twang was stronger than any she had heard since arriving in Texas. In fact, most people didn’t sound any different to her. They were just a lot friendlier than people in the LA area.
“What kind do you have?” Lucy asked, suddenly in the mood for one. She had been so distracted that morning that she’d skipped breakfast. Her long walk coupled with the smell of food made her stomach grumble.
“Well, we got blueberry, bran, chocolate chip…oh, and poppy seed.”
“How about poppy seed?”
“Sure, hon.”
Lucy took a second to glance around the room. The place was pretty empty; there were two tables of elderly people and one other person at the bar. It was a younger looking man who was so dirty and scruffy Lucy couldn’t tell if he was a vagrant or some sort of construction worker. He had been watching her, waiting for her to look over so he could give a smile and a greeting. Lucy complied so he could resume eating. When she looked back over, Bobbi was in front of her with her hands full.
“I know, it’s kinda dead in here right now. We’ll get our rush pretty soon though.” She set down a coffee mug and the muffin. “Warmed that up for ya too, hon…the muffin I mean.” Then she grabbed the pot of coffee from the back counter and filled Lucy’s cup.
“Thanks.”
“Now you let me know if you need anything else,” she said. She walked over to the man at the counter and refilled his coffee.
The warmth of the muffin melted the butter as Lucy spread it across one half. It was soft and moist and luscious. Talk about comfort food. Should this muffin really be making me feel better? she thought to herself.
Bobbi noticed her enjoyment and headed back over. “Pretty good, huh?”
“Very,” Lu
cy returned, still chewing.
“Yer not from here are ya, hon?”
“No, how did you know?” Instinctively she was immediately suspicious.
Bobbi shook her head with pride and put a hand on her hip. “I can tell. Been working around people my whole life…mostly here in Texas. I can tell a lot about people after only a few minutes.”
“Wow, that’s pretty amazing.” Before she could stop herself, Lucy added, “What else can you tell about me?”
“Oh, I’d say whatever you came here for was not something yer too happy ’bout. In fact, I don’t think yer too happy with yerself either.”
“Anything else?” Lucy took another bite of her muffin. Might as well keep going now that the ball was rolling.
“Well…I am a bit stumped now, hon. You seem like a sweet girl and all, but…I’d be willing to bet you don’t take much crap from anyone.” Lucy couldn’t help but let out a smile, which gave Bobbi the confirmation she was looking for. “Uh-huh,” she said slowly, nodding her head up and down. “Looks like I got you pegged, hon.”
CHAPTER 41
The big day was creeping up on them like a stalker in the night. In about thirty hours, two sisters would lie side by side on gurneys leaving their fates in the hands of surgeons and God. There had been no more spoken about Linda when Lucy arrived home yesterday from clearing her head. It was almost as if it never happened. Now everyone had on their game face. The house seemed to be at maximum capacity as well. It almost felt like a holiday. Rick was home since he’d planned on a week off. He wanted to be there for Katie, and possibly Lucy, after the surgery. Depending on each of their recoveries, they would be released to go home between two and four days later. George took time off as well and continued to pop in and out, bringing everyone’s spirits up when he did.
The only one who seemed to be completely aware of the situation and living in reality was Carly. She was the first one up that day and had already put on her dress for the day. Rick found her in her room coloring and tried to convince her to change, but he knew it was useless. So he made a point to gather up Lucy and Anne to explain the appearance and significance of the garment. He asked them to act as they normally would, commenting on the dress itself, but not the reason behind it. The girls understood, and Anne remarked how clever it was of Carly to invent a more beautiful version of the security blanket.
The hours ticked by in slow motion while everyone worked hard to keep busy, or at least make themselves look busy. Rick decided it was a good time to finally organize the workbench George had put in for him at Christmas. Upon Rick’s insistence, Katie was taking a nap. Just like his daughter, he was in tune to the well-being of his wife no matter how hard she tried to hide it. Lucy and Anne were playing board games with Carly on the living room floor.
“What a beautiful dress,” Anne said as she rolled the die. “You look just like a princess.”
Lucy just eyed her and couldn’t quite figure out what was so familiar about Carly in that dress.
“Thank you,” she replied sweetly but still kept an eye on Anne counting her way around the board. Carly hated to lose at anything. She didn’t, however, mind not finishing a game if something better came along, which is exactly what happened when the doorbell rang. Izzy, the girl next door who was a year older than Carly, was asking if Carly could come over and play with her dollhouse. Anne and Lucy telepathically sent Rick the signal that stopping the game was just fine with them, so he gave his approval. Both women flopped down on the sofa like sacks of flour being dumped in a truck. Neither had realized how tiring it was to keep up with the energy levels of a young child.
“Can I get you two anything while I’m in here?” Rick offered from the kitchen. He was still holding a hammer from the garage.
“I’m fine,” Lucy replied first. She wondered why even though his build did not portray it, he suddenly seemed more masculine because he was holding a tool.
“Yeah, just getting to lie here and do nothing is good enough for me,” Anne added with a relieved tone. Her usual perky expression had faded a notch.
“I do appreciate you both keeping Carly’s mind off things. I know she can be tough to keep up with sometimes, but days like these are even worse.”
“We understand,” Anne answered for both of them.
“Thanks. Hey, as soon as Katie gets up, I’m heading out to the store to pick up a few things if either of you need to get out for a bit.” He didn’t wait for an answer and took off through the door to the garage with the hammer slung over his shoulder.
Lucy didn’t give the strange car in the driveway a second thought when she returned from the store with Rick and Anne. There had been other visitors since they had arrived a little more than four days ago. One of Katie’s friends, Amanda, stopped by to drop off a toy Carly had left at her house. Rick’s office manager was there just yesterday to give him some paperwork that needed to be signed right away. So Lucy felt completely ambushed walking into the house and facing her worst nightmare.
“Daddy, Daddy!” Carly greeted them at the door and grabbed Rick’s wrist. “Guess who’s here!”
“Wow, sweetie.” Rick put an arm around his daughter to calm her. “I don’t know, but is sounds like someone exciting, huh?”
“Yes, Daddy, it’s Grandma.” Yanking fruitlessly on his arm, she whined, “Come and see.”
Lucy turned to Rick with a confused look. “I thought your mom was in Hawaii?”
“She is,” Rick answered with the same confused look.
“Not Grandma Rose, Grandma Linda,” Carly continued.
A bolt of electricity instantly stabbed Lucy in the heart. She did not just say that, Lucy told herself. She’s just a little girl who is probably confused, or maybe playing a game. There’s no way that Linda would be here, especially now. Quiet voices could be heard coming from the kitchen, which escalated the heat rushing to Lucy’s face. She remembered the stuffed animal and her talk with Katie, and suddenly it did make sense. Maybe they were planning this visit all along.
“I need to use the restroom,” Anne announced purely out of self-preservation and headed down the hall.
Lucy didn’t blame her for not wanting to be in the vicinity of the impending catastrophe.
Surrendering to Carly’s tug-of-war, Rick followed her toward the kitchen. Robotically and on autopilot, Lucy went along behind Rick. As they rounded the corner edge of the hallway, they could see Katie leaning against the kitchen counter. A woman was standing in front of her with her back to them. She had blonde hair that was teased up and puffy on the top of her head.
Lucy stopped dead in her tracks for she didn’t even need the woman to turn around to confirm what she already knew. She had recognized her mother’s voice as they got closer. It was an unmistakable voice that spoke only in criticism and excuses.
“You’re home,” Katie said as less of a greeting and more of an abrupt end to their conversation.
There was no response except for Linda turning around and displaying an awkward grin. “Hi.”
“Linda, hi I’m Rick.” He extended his hand to her. “Nice to meet you.”
Lucy was almost offended that Rick would greet her so pleasantly, but she would have to think about that later.
Linda accepted his hand, giving it a quick and firm shake, and said, “You too.”
Then there was a moment of silence, in which everyone looked at Lucy. It was as if it was her turn in some kind of game like charades or tag.
“What are you doing here?” was all she could think of.
“Well it’s nice to see you too, Lucy,” Linda shot back.
Realizing that things were going to be bumpy if not completely turbulent, Katie intervened to clear out innocent bystanders. “Sweetheart, why don’t you go play in the den on the computer?” She began escorting her daughter from the kitchen.
“But Mommy, I already got my computer time for today.”
Katie gave Rick a pleading look, which he instantly picked up on and
added, “Well today you get a little extra time. You can show me that new game you’ve been talking about.” Rick took Carly’s hand and the two walked out.
“Maybe the three of us could go out back and talk.” Katie gestured innocently toward the backyard. “I could bring us out something to drink, and we’ve got the shade at this time.” The other two weren’t buying it and stood stubbornly in place.
“What for, a nice little family reunion? You two go ahead.” Lucy set her purse on the counter and went to the cupboard to retrieve a glass. She acted as if Katie and Linda would actually take her up on the offer and exit from her presence. Hoping was probably more like it. Then she wouldn’t have to pretend to busy herself while ignoring them.
“Lucy, please,” Katie pleaded and reached out for her sister. “We have to talk about this. Mom came all this way for us, to make sure we were okay.”
That word, Mom, was like a lethal injection. Hearing Katie say it with all of them in the same room was way too real and brought back too many bad feelings. Lucy’s breathing suddenly sped up as if she were diving into a cold pool in the winter and couldn’t catch her breath.
“It’s okay, Katie.” Linda took a step back, as if that would relieve some of the pressure. “I know I can’t just jump back into your lives just like that. But I was hoping—”
Lucy turned abruptly and faced them both, not quite caring about holding back at that moment. Were these two completely insane? “So you two are a team now, huh? What did you think? That we’d all bond over this traumatic experience?”
“It’s not like that, Lucy.” Linda’s voice was soft and calm, something Lucy was used to hearing after a binge or a blowup. She walked over to Lucy and stood beside her. “I heard about Katie—and the surgery—and I just wanted to be here.”
Linda tried to put a gentle hand on Lucy’s arms, but she broke away and crossed to the other side of the kitchen. “You can’t help us!” Lucy raged. “You never could, and you never will!” Lucy snatched her purse from the counter. “Letting her back into your life is a mistake,” she said to Katie, walking out of the kitchen. “You’ll only get hurt.” And then they heard the door slam.
In Search of Lucy: A Novel Page 21