by Paul Kelly
It seemed that she had planned the divorce long before Robert knew anything about it and only handed him a letter on the morning she was moving out of the house, in which she said she was not coming back.
Chapter Nine
Freya went about her flat in a daze. She was unable to do anything to help either Robert or his little boy Cameron and she felt so inadequate and useless, just sitting about when she felt she could be doing so much. She was glad when the late afternoon came and she could go to the cafe to be on duty in the late shift. It was in this shift that she first met Robert and at the back of her mind, she hoped that perhaps history might repeat itself and she might see him again.
As she came on duty, she nodded to Jenny and hoped she wouldn’t ask her too many questions, even if she knew that was a little too much to expect from her friend.
“Seen the boyfriend?” asked Jenny with a wide grin on her face and Freya closed her eyes tightly. This was the one question she did not want to be asked.
“No ... no, I haven’t seen him,” she replied and Jenny stared at her in surprise.
“Well if that’s the guy who was in here less than an hour ago and asking for Miss Freya, he certainly hasn’t lost any interest. Why don’t you phone him? He’s very dishy, you know and if you don’t want him, just let me know.”
Freya needed no further prompting as she kissed Jenny and made for the phone in seconds.
“Hello ... Hello is that ... .?”
“Yes Freya, It’s me,” replied Robert, “I wanted to see you and I went to the cafe as I didn’t know which shift you would be on. Are you alright?”
“Yes, yes, I’m fine, but more to the point how is Cameron? How are you?”
“Cameron is still very ill I am afraid and Rita is driving me wild with her various ‘cures’ and what should be done next, regardless of what the doctors are saying. I think if my little son was allowed to rest more, he would improve, but you can’t tell fussy Rita that. She knows what’s best in every situation, or so she tells me.”
“Oh! dear, I am sorry. You are in an awkward situation, aren’t you? Is there no way you can entice Rita away from Cameron?”
“I’ve tried, but I think I will really have to put my foot down and tell her to get the hell out of it. There’ll be sparks flying if I do that but I can’t see any other way. That’s why I wanted to see you. You’re a woman and you could probably suggest a better solution, can you?”
“So you’ve noticed I’m a woman, have you?” Freya gibed and there was a snigger heard on the phone.
“I lost my white stick a few years back,” he said, “I must remember to get another one.”
“Perhaps if we can meet, if you have time, I might be able to think of something,” she said, but Robert didn’t answer her straight away. “Are you there?” she asked and she could hear him cough.
“Yes, that might be a good idea. It’s just that I’m stuck for time with most of that being taken up by the visits to the hospital. Could you come to the hospital? . . . Is that possible?”
“I could, but don’t you think Rita might object?”
“Rita won’t be there until tomorrow,” he said and Freya thought he might be hoping that if she could come to the hospital, it would be that same day.
“I’ll get the sack if I make any more excuses for not working at the cafe,” she said and Robert apologized.
“I’m sorry Freya. I understand.”
“No, my job is only part time anyway and I’ve been thinking of changing for some time now as another possible job is being advertised in a shop near the cafe so I’ll get there about three o’clock if that’s O.K.”
“If you’re sure, but please don’t get into any trouble with your boss. He seems a nice guy.”
“No, that’s alright. I’ll see him now and I’ll be at the hospital as I said, Bye for now.”
Freya did see Mr. Haggerstone, or old Buggerlugs as she said she would and much as he was sorry she was leaving, he understood her predicament.
“It’s that young man I saw you talking with the other day, isn’t it?” he asked and Freya nodded. “I think you’re in love with him. Am I right?” he said and Freya nodded again.
“I hope he’s in love with me,” she added as she slung her jacket across her shoulders’
“If the eyes have anything to do with it,” said old Buggerlugs “I think you’re on to a winner. I wish you all the best.”
***
Freya arrived at the hospital ten minutes before three o’clock to find Robert pacing up and down outside the ward where she was told she would find Cameron.
“I thought ... I thought,” she said to the Ward Sister, “I thought as I wasn’t a relative I might have difficulty in seeing the little boy,” she said, but the Sister only smiled.
“We’ve had instructions ... strict instructions from the Master there,” she replied, pointing to Robert, “that you should be allowed in as soon as you arrived. You’re Freya, aren’t you?”
“Yes, I’m Freya and thank you Sister.”
“Cameron’s bed is just near the door here. The screens are only a precaution, so don’t worry. They should be removed in a day or two.”
Freya made her way very cautiously towards Cameron’s bed and peeped in behind the screens, as Robert followed close behind.
“He’s been asleep for ages, it seems,” he whispered, “ but I think his temperature has come down. It was very high when he came in,”
“How long has he been in hospital now, Robert?”
“This is his fourth day.”
“So you think there is a marked improvement?”
“Yes, it seems there has been this morning ... and the first day that Rita isn’t here,”
“Can I do anything?” Freya stuttered in her efforts to please, “I mean, I didn’t know what to bring Cameron as I wasn’t sure if he could eat or anything, but I can go down to the hospital canteen and get something there.”
Robert smiled and Freya could see his white even teeth again between those gorgeous lips that were meant to be kissed, before she came out of her dream in an instant.
“No, Cameron is not eating at the moment and he has a drip in somewhere under those blankets,” muttered Robert, “so I guess they’re keeping him from getting dehydrated.”
“Poor little boy. He looks so helpless lying there, doesn’t he?” she said and at that moment, Robert touched her arm as he looked down the corridor.
“Oh” gawd,” he exclaimed with alarm, “Rita’s coming back and I thought she wouldn’t be coming in today.”
“Robert, what should I do?” asked Freya, “Will she be thinking what I’m thinking and ask me what I’m doing here?”
“Don’t worry. Just leave everything to me.” he replied and gave Rita a rather sour smile as she came into the ward.
“I thought I might not be able to make it today,” she said, “And anyway, I’m told by Sister that he is a little better. Is he conscious yet?”
Robert did not answer immediately as he watched Rita making her usual daily inspection of Cameron’s bed, straightening the sheets and puffing up the pillows, whether they needed that attention or not. It was a routine with her and Robert suspected that Rita knew better than the nurses how to do that sort of thing. Freya stood aside and it was only a after a few moments that Rita noticed her.
“You a social worker or something?” she enquired and Freya shook her head.
“Im ... I’m,” but before she could say another word, Robert butted in.
“This is a friend of mine,” he said with a defiance that surprised Freya, “I asked her to come to see Cameron as they have met before and he likes her.”
Rita looked Freya up and down.
“I don’t care who she is,” she added as if Freya didn’t exist,
”as long as she doesn’t disturb my little boy.”
Robert took Freya’s hand and Rita gave her another furtive look.
“You two an item?” she asked and screwed her face up, but Robert assured her that he and Freya were just good friends and that even if they were what she suggested they might be, it was a matter that didn’t concern her at all.”
“Oh! don’t think about me,” Rita replied shrugging her shoulders. “As if you ever did. I don’t care what you get up to. You’re a free lance now as I am . .Thank God.”
Freya looked at Rita in surprise. It seemed to her then that Rita didn’t have any feelings for Robert. She could understand that she and Robert were divorced, but her attitude showed no regard for him at all whatsoever. Surely she must have loved him at one time, she thought, but Robert took what Rita had to say with disdain. It was only when Rita went to wash her hands in the ward that he made any comment to Freya.
“Truth be known, Rita never ever had any feelings for me and I wonder why I ever married her. I was young and I thought I was in love, so you see why I have warned you about your feelings? You could be imagining things when you say you are in love with me.”
Freya looked steadily at him.
“I am not a child. I am mature enough to know my own feelings and besides, I too had been in a loveless marriage before, you know.”
Robert was about to expound on his theory about love when Rita returned to Cameron’s bedside. She looked about her as she stood next to Freya, as if she was about to tell her something that she didn’t want anyone else to hear.
“You’re not in love with him, are you?” she asked and Freya stared back at her in dismay.
“If I am, I don’t think it is any concern of yours now,” she replied, but Rita seemed to ignore Freya’s answer.
“I thought I was, but that was a long time ago” she went on, “and I’ve had three relationships since I left him, but none of them have been ‘love’. Love is a word that should be thrown out of the dictionary. It’s only for the likes of fiction novels like Barbara Cartland stuff and not for real life. You believe me. If you want to sleep with him, go ahead, but I warn you, you won’t get any satisfaction there. He’s no use in bed.”
Freya became angry with Rita, but she was afraid to enlarge on her protest in the event that Robert might hear their conversation, however, at that moment, Robert suggested he should go to the canteen and get them all a drink.
“Listen to what I’m telling you,” Rita went on, “Cameron here is a lovely little boy, but he was a mistake. He was never planned and never really wanted. I could never bond with him and I am here now because I hate to think of him suffering, but he’s welcome to stay with his father as long as he keeps in good health. I never wanted children and I’m having a fine better life now being free from all that shit.”
Freya wanted to cry. She looked towards the bed where Cameron was lying and hoped the little boy had never heard the conversation she was having with Rita.
“I don’t want to hear any more on this subject,” she said to Rita,”and I think you should be ashamed of yourself talking as you do. If you didn’t love Robert and you say what you do about Cameron, I’m surprised that you are here now.” Rita grinned.
“Are you married?” she asked Freya and waited anxiously for an answer.
“No ... I’m divorced,” said Freya feeling guilty that she should have to discuss her personal life with such a woman as Rita.
“Any kids?” Rita went on, sniffing as if it was of no real concern.
“No, but as I have said, I don’t want to talk about this anymore, so if you don’t mind ...”
“You were wise not to have any,” Rita continued, ignoring Freya’s protest. “kids only bring you heartache, even if you can’t bond with them. Men don’t understand what it’s like to have children. They don’t have to endure the nine months waiting, do they? They shag you in a second and then think they’ve done all there is to do.”
Freya had heard enough.
“Why do you dislike Robert as you do,” she asked, but Rita shook her head, “I don’t dislike him. He’s a good man as far as men go. We don’t quarrel now that we are divorced, not like we did when we thought we were in love. No, I don’t dislike him. We’re better friends now than we ever were, but I don’t want him as a husband, that’s all.”
“I’m going to the canteen to see Robert,” said Freya, “I don’t want to stay here one minute longer.”
Rita shrugged her shoulders again and turned towards Cameron’s bed.
“There, there now darling” she said, “I think your gonna like daddy’s new girl friend, quite a lot,” but Cameron never moved.
***
Freya met Robert in the hospital canteen, just as he was leaving with three beakers of coffee in his hand.
“Have you spoken to Rita?” he asked, knowing full well that she would have done as Rita was not the type of person to hold any kind of curiosity in her mind without expressing a view on it.
“Yes,” she replied but she didn’t want to elaborate on the conversation they had together, however she need hardly have worried on that score as Robert already guessed.
“She been telling you of her recent affair?” he asked and Freya raised her eyebrows in surprise.
“You know about that?” she enquired with avid curiosity and Robert nodded.
“Rita is quite proud of her lifestyle now,” he said, “she’s a free spirit. Always has been and always will be. Not the marrying kind, as I am sure you have guessed by now.” Freya sighed heavily. She had never met anyone like Rita before. Well not one who would boast about her affairs as if they were achievements of some kind. She felt very sorry for Robert, but she couldn’t tell him why.
“I had better get back to Cameron now,” said Robert, “and to me lovely ex, of course,”
When they did arrive back at the bedside of the little boy, Rita was sitting reading a newspaper and looked quite content and rather pleased with herself . . .
“I think he’s feeling a lot better,” she said, nodding towards Cameron in the bed. “I’m sure I saw his eyes open a little while ago, but when I spoke to him, he closed them again and rolled over on his side.
“Did you call the Sister?”
“No, why should I? I can do anything for Cameron when he comes round.”
“But Rita,” Robert implored feeling the inadequacy of his suggestion. “the Ward Sister knows more about Cameron than you do and it is she who should follow the progress, if there is one. Call her now and don’t sit there looking like an idiot.”
“How dare you call me an idiot, why for two pins I would ...”
Robert stared into her eyes,
“Well for two pins bloody well do it then. . .whatever you want to do. Just clear off. I’ve had as much as I can take of you today.”
Rita grabbed her handbag which she had deposited at the foot of Cameron’s bed and stuck her newspaper under her arm before she stormed off through the ward doors and along the corridor, grunting some obscenities as she went.
“I’m sorry if I sounded rude, Freya, but I just can’t take any more of Rita’s nonsense. She doesn’t like illness of any kind and I don’t think she’s too fond of Cameron, come to that. I’m sorry. We must seem to be a strange lot to you.”
Freya put her hand on Robert’s arm and he didn’t pull away.
“I understand,” she said softly, “I’ll stay with Cameron for a little while if you need some fresh air.” but Robert rubbed his brow with his hand.
“I’m O.K. but I would like to go and see the Sister if you could hold on for a little while longer.”
Needless to say, Freya was only too pleased to stay as long as was necessary and besides, she remembered again that she had decided to give up her job at the cafe and Robert went into
the duty room to speak to the Ward Sister.
Chapter Ten
Freya was awake very early the following morning and as it was Saturday when she didn’t work at the cafe, she couldn’t understand who would want to get her up at such an early hour, but her doorbell rang incessantly. She threw her housecoat over her pyjamas and rushed to open the front door.
“Who is it?” she called out afraid of who might be there. Could it be the police? or Robert, which she very much doubted against her wish that it could be him, but no-one answered. She called again and a feeble voice called her name
“It’s Jenny here. Can I come in. I have something to tell you.”
Freya opened the door quickly to find Jenny standing in tears on her doorstep.
“Jenny, whatever is the matter. Come in quickly. You’ll catch your death of cold standing shivering there.”
Jenny followed Freya into the lounge where she threw her arms around her friend.
“Jenny ... what’s wrong? Sit down and I’ll make some coffee. You look terrible.”
Jenny cried into her handkerchief as she sat on the sofa whilst Freya disappeared into the kitchen, but a few moments afterwards, Freya appeared again with a tray and two mugs.
“It’s only instant, I’m afraid,” said Freya apologetically, “Nothing as fresh and lovely as old Buggerlugs serves. Now tell me, what’s the matter?”
Jenny dried her eyes and tried hard to speak, but the words didn’t come easily from her lips.
“I can’t ... I can’t go into work today,” she gasped. “I know I told old Buggerlugs that ... that I would work today as a favour, but ... Oh! Freya, I just can’t.”
“Is there anyone doing the Saturday shift then?”