The Paradise War tsoa-1

by Stephen Lawhead

  My host handed a beaker to me, raised the other to his lips and said, «Slointe!»

  To which I replied, «Cheers!» I took a large sip, and nearly spewed the contents across the room. I managed to choke it down-but the corrosive liquid grated my throat like a wood rasp and produced an afterburn like an F16.

  Nettleton smiled benignly at my discomfort. «So sorry, I should have warned you. There's whisky in it. I find a wee dram on a day like this helps to drive out the chill.»

  Yes, and the will to live as well. «S'good,» I gasped. I felt my tongue swelling rapidly to roughly the size of a summer sausage. «Wha-what is it?»

  The professor dismissed the question with a flick of his hand. «Oh, roots, bark, berries-sort of a homemade concoction. I collect the ingredients myself. If you like it, I can give you the recipe.»

  I was speechless.

  He turned away and led me across the room to a set of red leather chairs on either side of the only window. The sky was dark, the window panes appeared opaque. A small table that looked as if it had been assembled of driftwood stood between the chairs. The professor sat down in one of the chairs and placed his beaker on the table. He indicated the other chair for me. I sat facing him and peered into my drink. Were those raisins bobbing around in there?

  «So!» he announced suddenly. «Good to see you!» He enunciated this meticulously, as if I were an aborigine who might not speak his language. «I have been waiting for this.»

  His confession brought me up short. I could only stare and gulp, «You have?»

  «Yes.» He raised a hand quickly. «Oh, please do not misunderstand-I mean you no harm. I intend to help you, as I said. And, if you don't mind my saying so, you look rather in need of help at the moment.»

  «Urh, Professor Nettleton-ah, you seem to have me at a bit of a disadvantage here, I think.»

  «Nettles,» he replied.

  «Sir?»

  «Why not call me Nettles? Everyone does.»

  «All right,» I agreed. «But, as I was saying, I thin-«

  «Not to put too fine a point on it, you've rather let yourself go, Mr. Gillies. You are distressed.»

  «Well, I-«

  «No apologies, Mr. Gillies. I understand. Now then,» he folded his hands over his chest and leaned so far back into his chair that I could no longer see his face in the shadows, «how can I be of service to you?»

  Nothing came to mind. I searched the shadows for a moment, and then suggested that he had already helped me a great deal, and that it was getting late and I was sure he had other things to do and that I shouldn't trouble him further, and that– «Pish-tosh!» he replied calmly. «There's nothing to be embarrassed about. Come now, please be assured, your secret is safe with me.»

  My secret? Which secret? How did he know my secret? «I'm not sure I know what you mean,» I told him.

  Nettles leaned further forward. His eyes danced. «You are a believer,» he whispered. «I can always tell.»

  «A believer,» I repeated dully.

  He smirked. «Oh, never worry. I'm a believer, too.»

  I must have appeared as thick as a plank because he explained: «The Faлry Faith, yes? Everyone thinks me mad, of course. What of it?» He became conspiratorial. «I have seen them.»

  «Fairies?»

  He nodded enthusiastically. «Oh, yes! But I prefer to call them Fair Folk. I understand, the word 'fairies' has taken on some rather unfortunate connotations in recent years. And even if that weren't so, 'fairies' always makes them sound twee and diminutive. Let me tell you,» he added solemnly, «they are anything but twee or diminutive.»

  I judged the conversation to have taken a peculiar turn, and attempted to steer it back. «Urh, I saw a wolf in Turl Street. Maybe you read about it in the newspapers.»

  Nettles winked at me. «Blaidd an Mba, eh?»

  «Excuse me?»

  «Wolves in Albion,» he replied. «Don't mind me. You were saying?»

  «Just that. Nothing else, really,» I lied.

  «Is that all?»

  «Well, yes,» I confessed, slightly piqued at his insinuation that there might be more. «What else could there be?»

  The professor chuckled dryly. «Why, appearances, disappearances, strange happenings-any number of things! People getting trapped in Celtic circles, for instance.»

  «You don't mean. . .» Was he talking about me?

  «But that is precisely what I do mean.»

  I gaped stupidly. Mad? The man was dotty as a dodo. «But that is impossible,» I mumbled.

  «Is it?» The smile never left his face, but his eyes became hard and intensely serious. «Come now, sir! I asked you a question. I am waiting for an answer.»

  «Well,» I allowed carefully, «I suppose it's not altogether impossible.»

  «Ha! You know that it is not altogether impossible. Come, Mr. Gillies, let us be precise.» The ferocity with which this last was delivered melted away as soon as the words were uttered. Instantly, he was his merry self once more. «I told you, it's no good trying to get round me. I can smell a believer a mile away.»

  He leaned forward, reaching towards his drink, and froze in mid-motion. «Ah, but that's the difficulty, isn't it?»

  «Pardon?»

  «I've misjudged you.» He remained motionless, his hand reaching out. «So sorry, Mr. Gillies. My mistake.»

  «I'm not sure I follow.»

  «Perhaps you are not a believer, after all.» He collapsed back into his chair. «But then what are you, Mr. Lewis Gillies? Hmm? I become so accustomed to dealing with unbelievers that I often forget there is a third category.»

  In order to mask my growing discomfort with this line of enquiry, I took up my drink and forced some of it down. This time, I actually enjoyed the taste.

  «Believers and unbelievers,» the professor said. «Most people fall into one or the other of those classifications. Yet there is a third: those who desperately want to believe, but reason won't allow it.»

  He took up his drink and swigged it back. I followed suit, and ended up gulping down more than I intended. «It does grow on one, does it not?» he said with a loud smack of his lips. «Mulled heather ale.»

  Heather ale? I stared into my cup. Folklore bad it that the recipe for this ancient drink disappeared in 1411 when the English killed the last Celtic chieftain for refusing to divulge the secret of this legendary elixir. The beleaguered Celt leaped off a sea cliff rather than allow the hated foreigners to taste the Brew of Kings. How then did the professor tumble onto the recipe-if indeed he had?

  My unlikely host rose and took himself to a nearby sideboard. He returned with a pottery crock and poured our beakers full of steaming liquid once more. «As I was saying-« He replaced the crock on the hotplate and returned to his seat. «You rather belong in the third category: one who wishes to believe, yet lacks conviction. Sympathetic, shall we say, yet skeptical.» He nodded benevolently. «You have been out wandering in the Celtic miasma and you have caught the bug. Am I right?»

  Bingo! «I think I could go along with that,» I allowed

  cautiously.

  «Now, then, what has brought you to this impasse? This crisis of faith and reason? What has reduced you to stumbling around the city unkempt and unshaven, seeing things, and so easily ensnared by chalk drawings on the pavement?»

  My lips began to frame an evasive answer, but the question was not for me. The barmy old gentleman continued: «What indeed? If I may hazard a guess, I would say that you have witnessed something for which you have no explanation, and for which you are struggling to discover a rational solution. One of these appearances you are speaking about? Or perhaps it was a disappearance? Yes! I thought so.» He beamed with innocent pleasure. «I warned you-I can always tell.»

  «But how did you know?»

  He ignored my question and asked one of his own. «Who is it? Someone you know? Of course, it is. How foolish of me. Now you must tell me all about it. If I am to help you, I must know everything.» He raised a bony finger in th
e air. «Everything-do you understand?»

  I slumped in the chair, feeling the soft leather envelop me. I cradled the warm beaker to my chest and muttered, «I understand.» How did I ever get myself into this? I wanted simply to sink so deep into the chair that no one would ever find me. Instead, I took a long pull of the mulled ale, closed my eyes and began my dreary recitation.

  Professor Nettleton did not interrupt. Twice I opened my eyes and found him sitting poised on the edge of his chair, as if he might pounce the moment I stopped. I rambled on and on until I had laid out the whole muddled episode, just as it happened. I told him everything-I did not have the strength of will to resist or play coy with the facts. I was too tired of keeping up the pretense, too weary of bearing the weight of knowledge all by myself. I just opened my mouth and the words tumbled out. I let my tongue flap on and on.

  I told him about Simon's wild aurochs chase, about sighting the Green Man, about Farmer Grant, about the cairn and Simon's abruptly-acquired interest in Celtic lore, about my disturbing dreams, about seeing things, about… everything that had happened before and after Simon's disappearance. And it was blessed relief finally to unburden myself. Twice blessed to have someone listening who believed me completely. I had no fear that he would betray me, or think me insane. After all, everyone already thought him mad. He had told me so. My secret was safe with him; I knew that, and I made the most of it.

  When I finally finished, I opened my eyes and glanced into the bottom of my empty beaker. Had I drunk it all? I must have guzzled away during my recitation. Now I was sorry not to have saved some. I placed the empty vessel on the table.

  Through rain-streaked panes the sky glowed a sickly graygreen from the city lights reflecting off the low pall of cloud. I glanced into the gathered gloom of the chair facing me. Professor Nettleton's white hair shone with a faint glow from the window. His eyes glittered in the darkness.

  «Of course,» he said at last. «Yes, I understand now.»

  «Believe me, I didn't intend wasting your time with all this.»

  He shook his head slightly. «On the contrary, it is why you came to me.»

  Misplaced pride flushed my cheeks. «Look, I don't know that this is any of your business. I just came along because..

  «Yes?»

  «Well, because I didn't want to hurt your feelings.»

  «Pish-tosh, Mr. Gillies. Let us clear the air at once. If we are to work together, we must have no more of this false modesty and guile. We both know very well what we're talking about. It is the freedom of believers to shout aloud what doubters dare not confess.»

  «Huh?»

  «You know what I am talking about.» The way he said it brooked no contradiction; I offered none. «Very well, let us put aside all inhibition and speak openly.» He reached out a firm hand and tapped my leg. «I will make a True Man of you yet.»

  «I told you about Simon and everything dse,» I said, somewhat defensively. «But you haven't told me how you knew I was-« words failed me. What was I?

  «Troubled?» Nettles offered. «Since this began, I have been observing very closely.»

  «Observing what?»

  «Why, everything. Quite literally everything. The signs are there for anyone with eyes to see them.»

  «I don't understand,» I complained.

  «No.» He rose and stood over me. «But we have done enough for one day, I think. Good-night, Mr. Gullies. Go home and get some rest.»

  «Uh, yeah, good-night.» I climbed slowly to my feet. «Thank you.» I felt grateful in a nonspecific sort of way. I guess I was just glad he wasn't telephoning the men with the butterfly nets.

  He propelled me quickly towards the door. «Come to me tomorrow morning. I will explain everything.»

  Next thing I knew, I was standing with my coat in my hands in the gloomy half-light of Brewer's Lane. I put on my coat and hurried into the chilly rain. The wind had risen, driving the fine rain before it. The relief I had enjoyed in Professor Nettleton's company quickly dissolved in the cold reality of wind and rain. «Mad as a hatter,» I thought gloomily. «Old Nettles is crazier than I am.»

  I arrived back at the door to my rooms just in time to hear the telephone ring. I jammed the key in the lock and dashed to answer the phone, and instantly realized I'd made a big mistake.

  Chapter 8

  Sunwise Circles

  The dock read ten minutes past eleven. Who would be calling at this rime of night?

  «Hello, is that Mr. Gillies?» The voice sounded as if it were coming from a very great distance-the vicinity of Mars, perhaps. Still, it was one of those once-heard-never-forgotten voices, and I recognized it at once. My heart sank.

  «Speaking,» I said. «Good evening, sir.»

  «Geoffrey Rawnson here.»

  «Good to hear you, sir. How are things?»

  «Oh, working too hard as usual. Haven't a minute to myself. Still, mustn't complain, I suppose,» he replied affably enough. «Actually, I was wondering if I might speak to Simon. Would you be so kind as to put him on?»

  «I'm sorry, Mr. Rawnson, but Simon isn't here at the moment.»

  «Not there? Well, where is he?» His tone implied that he thought it unlikely his son should be anywhere else but standing beside the phone waiting for him to call.

  «He's out for the, ah, evening, I believe,» I lied, and added a corrective of truth. «As a matter of fact, I just got back myself.»

  «I see,» he replied. 'Well, I won't keep you. Would you just relay to Simon that I called?»

  «I'll do that, sir-as soon as I see him.»

  «Fine,» the elder Rawnson said. «There's just one other thing.»

  «Yes?»

  «Tell Simon that unless I hear from him tomorrow before ten o'clock, I will arrive as scheduled to pick him up. Do you have that?»

  «You'll be here to pick him up as scheduled-yes, I have it. Uh, what time would that be, sir-so I can tell Simon?»

  «He knows the details, I should think,» Rawnson said, and I detected an undercurrent of pique. He paused and, by way of explanation, added, «I don't mind telling you I'm a little put out with Simon just now. He was supposed to turn up for his grandmother's birthday celebration at the weekend. Never misses it. This year not a card, not a call, nothing. He'd better have a very good excuse. And I'll expect to hear it when I see him tomorrow. You can tell him that from me.»

  «Yes, sir,» I agreed.

  «Well, it's late, I won't keep you. Good-night, Mr. Gillies. Best regards.» The phone clicked and the line went dead.

  Sturm und Drang! Face to face with Simon's dad, and what was I going to tell him? Terribly sorry, your highness, but Sonny Jim has flitted off to La-la Land. Tut tut. Rotten luck, what?

  I went to bed full of woe, and fell asleep plotting Simon's demise.

  It may be that Professor Nettleton slept in his clothes. Then again, maybe he didn't sleep at all. When I arrived early next morning, he appeared exactly as I'd left him the previous evening, hip deep in research-there were piles of papers, pamphlets and journals, and stacks of books all over the floor. «Come in! Come in!» he called when I knocked, barely glancing up as I entered.

  «Here it is!» he cried, waving a book over his head. «Sit down, Lewis, and listen to this.»

  Nutsy Nettles began reading at me from the book, pacing among the heaps of literature, running his hand through his wispy hair. I listened to him for a moment before I realized that I did not understand a word he was saying. I mean, the words I understood, but they made no sense. It was all a jumble of jargon: nexus this, and plexus that, and something about serial time and the infinite malleability of the future or some such thing.

  I shifted a stack of papers onto the floor and sat down in the Leather chair. The lamp next to the chair was the room's only Light. He finished his reading and regarded me closely, his eyes pixie-bright with excitement.

  «Excuse me, Nettles,» I said, «I'm not sure I got all that. I didn't sleep very well last night.» Then I told him about
my phone conversation with Simon's father.

  The old prof clucked his tongue sympathetically. «It was only to be expected,» he said. «People can't go missing and not be missed. Still, I had hoped for a bit more time. Never mind.»

  «Never mind? But he's coming to see Simon today-and Simon won't be here.»

  «We can worry about that later,» the professor told me. «Would you like some tea?» He pottered off to his hotplate on the sideboard, saying, «The aurochs and spear-those are positive indicators. Likewise the Green Man, the wolf, boar, and hound. I expect there are scores of others-perhaps hundreds-but you wouldn't necessarily have noticed them.» I could hear him rattling tins and filling a kettle. His voice drifted back to me as if from the outer darkness of the netherworld.

  «Indicators,» I repeated without enthusiasm. I yawned and rubbed my eyes.

  «Now, then. There are two things which puzzle me about your story. I must ask you to remember very carefully. Quite a lot depends upon it, I'm afraid.» Nettleton returned to stand over me. «Think back to the cairn. Did you notice anyone nearby when you were there?» he asked, watching me intently. «Did anyone approach you?»

  «No one.» I shrugged. «Why?»

  «An animal, perhaps? A deer? Or a bird of some kind? A dog?»

  I sat bolt upright. «Wait a minute! There was someone. I remember seeing this guy and he had some dogs-three of them, funny looking. I mean the man was funny looking, not the dogs. Well, the dogs were strange, too, now that I mention it. White with red ears, big and thin-they looked like oversize greyhounds or something. They actually blocked my way to the cairn, but I just stood my ground and they left.»

  «When did you see him? Before or after Simon entered the cairn?»

  «After,» I said. «No, wait.. .» I thought back. «Before, too. Yes, I saw him before, too-Simon and I both saw him. Simon said it was probably just a farmer and we went on to the cairn. I saw him again when I went back to the cairn after Simon disappeared.»