Shifted Temptations

by Black, C. E.

  Both men followed my movements silently, never once pushing me to continue. When I looked at Jordan, his eyes had softened. He knew I was upset and I loved him even more for being so patient. I stopped pacing and faced them both. Finally, I found my voice.

  "I have really enjoyed our time together," which was a total understatement.

  "But...," Jordan said, as Alex looked at him surprised.

  I could tell Jordan knew what was coming and his narrowed eyes said he had an argument ready. God, this was going to be hard.

  "But I think it's time for it to end." There, I said it, relieved that it was out, but by the look on both men's faces I knew it was far from over.

  "Why?" Alex asked, totally perplexed.

  "I...I...I just think it's time," I stuttered. "We had fun, but now it's over."

  Jordan's stare pierced through me, slicing at my already battered insides. "Yes, we have been having fun, so why do we need to stop?"

  I really did not want to explain, but it looked like I was going to have to tell them something. "I care for both of you, very much," I said hands folded in front me to keep them from shaking. "And I can't keep the no strings rule anymore."

  "What do you mean?" Alex asked.

  "I mean...," I sucked in a breath as anger began to bubble through my veins. The conversation was getting ridiculous. Can a girl not break up with her lovers without all the questions? Fine, I was going to have to get firmer. They were not going to like what I had to say and maybe the discussion would end sooner rather than later.

  My cheeks flushed hot. "Like I told you, I care about both of you and I cannot do just a physical relationship. I need more."

  Alex sucked in a surprised breath and looked at Jordan. That just pissed me off more. Alex should not have to ask for Jordan's permission, but that was exactly what it looked like he was doing.

  "That was the deal, Sam." Jordan's voice filled with tension, his jaw ticking. "No strings, remember? There can't be more."

  "I know what we agree too," I practically shouted. "But I can't do it anymore! What else do you want me to say? It's over."

  "Are you trying to tell me you didn't enjoy yourself?" I flushed as Jordan’s lips pulled up in an arrogant smirked. God, he was so full of himself.

  "You know I did, that is not the issue," I seethed.

  "Then I don't see the problem."

  Jordan relaxed against the couch as if that was the final say. My hands balled into fists at my sides. His behavior was extraordinary.

  "Of course you don't see the problem. You don’t give a shit that I am the one who would get hurt. You're not the one feeling used!" I barked.

  I felt insistently guilty for saying what I did. Alex looked hurt and that was not my intention.

  "You really feel that way?" Alex asked softly. "You feel like we used you?"

  Before I could answer Jordan spoke up, his words harsh with annoyance. "Come on Sam, you sure haven't been acting like you were feeling this way while we were using you." I hated the nasty way he mocked me, but he was right.

  "No, I didn't feel that way. I'm sorry I said that, although sometimes..." I looked away tying to gather myself before I broke down in front of them. "When we made love, I didn't feel used, but afterwards and the days in between...yeah, I did. You have never stayed the night with me, ever."

  I held up a hand to stop them from commenting. "I know that was one of the rules, but you never just...hold me for very long either. We rarely talk anymore. Remember when we use to hang out and have fun?"

  I looked at them hopefully, but neither responded. I wrapped my arms around my middle, trying to hold it together for a little while longer.

  "It's all about sex now," I continued pleading with them to understand. "The only time you talk to me or come over is for that. How should I feel?" I felt tears gather in corner of my eyes and quickly turned to wipe them away before they could see.

  I turned back as Alex spoke. "I am so sorry you feel that way," he said sincerely.

  "Me too," Jordan agreed. "But we can't offer you anything more."

  I looked at Alex. "He said we, but he can't speak for you." Alex hung his head. That was answer enough. "Then you understand why I have to break it off with you."

  Jordan stood up abruptly, his blue eyes flashing, his hands fisted at his sides. "No, I don't understand. We have a good thing going and you're throwing it away for nothing."

  His voice was almost a growl and I took a step back. Never had I ever heard a man's voice sound like that, a deep barking growl. He sounded like an animal.

  He looked away quickly, realizing what just happened, but I was done. It was time for the conversation to be finished. With my back straight and my face determined, I pointed to the door.

  "We are done. Please, both of you leave."

  Alex stood up looking at me with a mixture of hurt and anger. My throat went dry and my eyes filled with tears. God, I loved them, anger and all. I didn't want to hurt either of them, but it was best if they just left.

  Jordan began to stalk to the door, but stopped abruptly. He was staring toward the kitchen. I followed his gaze then cursed softly. Boxes, packed full, were sitting on the table, clearly visible through the archway. I sighed heavily. Shit, this was getting better and better, I thought.

  Jordan and Alex stared down at me, fire in their eyes. "What in the hell is that?" Alex asked.

  I stood straight and lifted my chin. "Boxes, I'm packing.

  "Explain," Jordan barked.

  With my hands planted on my hips, I glared at him. "First off, don't talk to me like that. And second, I don't have to tell you shit."

  Nevertheless, I did feel like they should know. When both men continued to glare, I gave an explanation.

  "It's going to be a bit awkward now that we have broken up, so I am moving out. There is no sense in making each other's lives miserable. It would be best if we don't have to see each other every day."

  "No," Jordan said.

  "What?" I asked incredulous that he felt he could make such demands.

  "No, you are not moving out and this conversation is not over." He pointed down at the floor as he spoke. "This isn't over. When you have calmed down, we'll talk again."

  My mouth dropped open. My mind whirled in rage at his highhanded behavior. Then my shoulders slumped. He was not going to walk away and I needed to get out of there. With my head down, I took a deep breath.

  I felt my eyes shoot sparks as I looked back up at Jordan. "You are one sorry, stubborn, arrogant, son of a..."

  "Don't," Alex interrupted. "Don't say anything you will regret later, Sam.”

  I knew he was right, but I was past caring. The way Jordan completely discounted my feelings, hurt me more than I had expected. I did not care at that point if what I said caused him any grief.

  "Fine, you want a better explanation than how I feel." I nodded "I get that. You don't give a shit. I get that too. And there is a better reason,” I pointed an accusing finger towards him, “but you are not going to like it, so I suggest you take my advice and leave now."

  My hand dropped to my side as Jordan crossed his arms and planted his feet. He stared me down, obviously not ready to leave and by the looks of it, neither was Alex. His expression was such a mix of emotions I could not tell what he was thinking. Deciding on shock value, I skipped all finesse and just blurted out my secret.

  "I'm pregnant."

  The silence was thick as both men continue to glare at me. It felt like forever, in reality it was for all of two seconds before Jordan exploded. His face lost the stone like quality I hated and his eyes blazed. It was exactly as I had expected.

  "How in the hell did that happen?" He all but yelled.

  I rolled my eyes at the obvious.

  His jaw clenched. "You know what I mean, Sam." Before I could answer, his eyes widened. "You said you were on birth control. Did you do this on purpose?"

  My mouth dropped open. "Are you serious?"

  "Well, you jus
t admitted to wanting more from our relationship. Maybe this was your way of getting that. Our deal was no children. You knew that." This time it was his finger pointing at me.

  I looked at Jordan in disbelief. His expression was so full of hatred I wanted to sob. Did he not know that accidents happened? Birth control was not one hundred percent. Instead of thinking logically, he blamed me for something it took two people, no make that three people, to do.

  I looked over at Alex and about collapsed at the suspicion written all over his face. I stared at him, showing every bit of pain I was feeling until he finally turned away.

  In all my wildest dreams, I would have never thought our friendship would end in such a disgusting way. I knew my love for them was one sided and I had accepted that, but to see what they really thought of me...to know how little they cared, was excruciating. At that moment, my body and mind began to go numb. I did not want to feel anymore, I just wanted them gone.

  "Yeah," I croaked, my voice dull, but full of sarcasm. "I planned it all. I mean, it's every woman's dream to get pregnant by two men who don't care about her."

  I turned away. I could not look at either of them and I did not really care what they thought anymore.

  There must have been something in my expression, because Alex's eyes widened and his hand reach out towards me. When I flinched back, he let it drop.

  "Sam?"

  Ignoring him I said, "Don't worry about it guys. I knew you wouldn't want anything to do with the baby so I wasn't planning on keeping it anyway."

  "Oh, really? And what was your plan?" Jordan asked, his words heavy with disdain that I tried hard to ignore.

  "I'm having an abortion."

  Jordan stared at me for a long time. At first, I tried to see something, some emotion or thought, but I couldn't, so I gave up and gave him blank eyes back.

  His breathing sped up and his nostrils flared a little. It was more than unnerving and I began to feel a little afraid, cornered.

  I took a step back from him and he growled. My eyes widened and pure fear crashed through me. My heart raced and I swallowed hard as I watched the man I loved shake with rage. At that moment, I knew what it felt like to be prey.

  Just as my flight reflexes were about to kick in, he abruptly turned around and strode to the door. "Good," he said as the door slammed shut behind him.

  I almost crumpled to the floor it hurt so badly. I was still a little shaky as I turned to Alex. He walked slowly over, but thankfully kept some distance between us.

  "Sam, let's talk...,"

  "No, Alex. I'm done talking. Please leave."

  He looked at me for one long moment, his gaze searching mine. I wasn't sure what he was looking for, but in that moment I almost surrendered. I wanted him to hold me and tell me everything would be all right. I wanted him to love me. I wanted him to want our baby.

  I reminded myself that none of those things were going to happen and firmed my resolve. Making sure to keep my expression empty, I kept my gaze glued to Alex's until he finally nodded and left.

  As the door shut with a soft click, my knees buckled. I lay on the floor curled into as tight a ball as I could get and sobbed. I couldn't think of anything except how bad my chest hurt. Whoever said a heart broke was full of shit, because it felt like it was being ripped from my feeble body.

  I could not allow myself to wallow for long. The movers were coming and I wanted to be out of that apartment before nightfall. I never wanted to see Alex or Jordan again.

  ~ 3 ~

  Alex

  "Damn it!"

  Alex sighed, listening as cabinet doors and drawers banged and slammed. Jordan was in one of his moods again and I idly wondered what ticked him off this time.

  More cursing came from the kitchen as Jordan yelled, "Where in the hell is the coffee?"

  Shit, I guessed I was the cause of his temper this time. I used the last just that morning and had planned to go to the store later. Sighing again, I stood from where I had been working at the computer, planning to go talk to him when Jordan burst through the office door.

  "Alex, did you drink the last of the coffee?" Jordan barked.

  Hands in my jean's pockets I looked at Jordan as he stood glaring at me and shook my head. The way his temper would ignite at the slightest things was starting to get old and I had begun wondering how much more I could take.

  "You didn't? Well, where in the hell is it then? I can't find it anywhere."

  “I was shaking my head at your behavior, not as an answer."

  With his fist at his hips and eyes narrow, I almost laugh at the picture he made. He was in a tantrum just like a toddler and he was looking like one too.

  "Yes, I drank the last of the coffee, Jordan. There was only enough for one cup and I had planned to hit the grocery store later, unless you wanted to go instead?"

  Shaking his head he said, "No, you go. Damn it! I've been up all night working and I needed that coffee."

  Jordan continued his snit, but I wasn't moving. I crossed my arms over my chest.

  "So really, that's why there was no coffee this morning. You have been drinking it all night to stay up."

  Imitating my stance by crossing his own arms, he stared defiant. "Yes."

  "What project are you working on?" I asked confused. "I wasn't aware we had anything pressing at the moment."

  Jordan looked away, his tough facade crumpling a little. "Nothing you need to worry about."

  "Excuse me?" I asked incredulously.

  Something was definitely up and I would get to bottom of it. Jordan had been working nonstop for the past week and I assumed it was to get his mind off other things, though I wasn't so sure anymore.

  "I believe I am a part of this company too, so I think I will worry about it."

  Jordan closed his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose sighed loudly. "You are not going to let this go, are you?"

  "Absolutely not. What's going on, Jordan? You've been working crazy hours lately. I thought it was just to get your mind off of..."

  Jordan threw up a hand, halting what I was about to say. "I don't want to talk about that."

  Palms up, I placated, "Alright, alright. I'll skip it for now, but it is something we need to talk about...soon," I warned.

  And after the mess with work was finished, we would be discussing it sooner than Jordan thought. I was not about to let it go that easily.

  "Fine, we got a call fromTeij."

  The name had my back up instantly. My muscles bunched, readying for action. The hairs at the back of my neck prickled in preparation of the change.

  Jordan and I were part of a secret, special operations team called the Alpha Division, commanded by Teij and fronted by the U.S. government. There were quite a few of us stationed around the world trying to live under the radar and ready to go at a moment's notice. And every one of us was out of the ordinary.

  "Mission?"

  "Possible mission, but you haven't been called on."

  My brow wrinkled. "Why?"

  "Teij got a call from Mark,” he said, purposely misunderstanding my question.

  My brow wrinkled as I thought about whom that was. "Mark? You mean Markus Stone?"

  The name brought back harsh memories. We both grew up with Mark in the small town of Wilde Mountain, Virginia, but he was far from a childhood friend.

  He nodded an affirmative.

  "Explain."

  "Seems things aren't going so well back home."

  I snorted. "Doesn't surprise me."

  Things were never going well back home. Somehow, both Jordan and I got the short end of the stick when came down to fathers. Jordan’s father, Lee Hunt, was a nasty man that used his fists on his wife and child whenever a drop of alcohol passed his lips. Unfortunately, the man downed his liquor more often than not, and his wife stood up for him time and time again.

  My father, however, never laid a hand on me. No, he would never dirty his hands or reputation in such a way. Alexander James Wright Sr. was
a model citizen and politician. His only goal in life was to be a leader in the small community. Too bad his wife was a loose drunk and his son a perpetual failure.

  No, my body never took the brunt of his fists, but my mind almost snapped at the emotional abuse hurled at me day after day. Jordan and I had not wasted time leaving that hell whole. We had been gone sixteen years and had not heard a word from anyone from our past, until now.

  "Yeah, well it has gotten a whole lot worse." Jordan walked over to his desk and sat on the corner facing me. "From what I gathered it seems that, after we left, new laws were announced in Wilde Mountain. One was no outsiders."

  “Humans were never welcome outside of marriage, but what about spouses?"

  "Nope, they sent them away, children too if they took after their human parent and weren’t able to shift."

  Our kind was wary of humans. The few that did find and marry a human mate were treated as lower class. Both Jordan and I had a 'mixed' heritage. Our mothers were human and our fathers were were-cats, jaguars to be exact. We knew all too well how cruel the full bloods of our community could be.

  I never understood why my father chose to mate with a human, Jordan’s father either. Both men made no secret of how they felt about humans and half bloods. They considered us nothing but scum on the bottom of their shoes.

  Not all families acted that way. Most full bloods that mated with a human were happy, respectful spouses. Many of the more prominent shifters in the community looked down upon them.

  However, even with the harsh treatment from the unsupportive full bloods, those mixed couples stayed. They thought it would be easier for the cubs to grow up with their own kind. Now, it seemed, those families were being ripped apart.

  "My God, why would they do such a thing?" My gaze narrowed. "What does this have to do with a mission? And why am I not being called in?"

  Jordan ignored my last question instead answering the first. Of course, he knew I wouldn't give up so easily, but I wanted all the information I could get.

  "Mark told Teij that after we left, a committee was assembled. They believed associating with humans was weakening the race and voted that to become more powerful, they needed stronger blood."