by Black, C. E.
Just as Alex was about to say something the phone rang. As he reached over to pick up the wall mount I wondered what he was about to say. Most likely, it would be the same thing as usual. He would accuse me of not sleeping or eating enough, maybe even tell me I stink. I shrugged; it was all very predictable and unnecessary. And true, I admitted.
If Alex just took one glance in the mirror, he would see something similar. The clean clothes could not hide the dark circles or obvious strain that etched into the lines of his face. We were both taking a trip in hell and I was pretty damn sure it was permanent.
I was looking at Alex's face and cataloguing every wrinkle and sad expression that hadn't been there a few months ago, when my heart began to pound faster. Alex looked shocked at first, but then whatever the person on the phone said had his skin blanching and his expression turning into one of pure terror.
"What hospital?" Alex asked the caller abruptly. He nodded and said, "We'll be there soon."
"What's going on?"
Alex was looking ill, so I knew whatever he was about to tell me was going to be bad. I just had not expected it to be so dire.
"Sam,” Alex whispered.
I froze at the sound of her name. We had not spoken of the beautiful woman that used to live down the hall, in months. It had been too painful, but not as painful as this, I thought.
I had no words for the fear that was running through me. I could not think, did not want to think of what could have happened. I could only wait for Alex to tell me.
He didn't. Instead, he took off for his bedroom, returning with his shoes on and his keys in hand.
"What happened?" I asked as I watched Alex run around frantically.
Finally, he stopped and stared at me in surprise, as if he had completely forgotten my presence.
"Sam, she was in a car accident. We have to get to the hospital in Knoxville."
A sharp pain spread through my chest and I pressed my hand against my breastbone. Dark spots appeared in front of my eyes. I shut them briefly and took a deep, painful breath. I couldn't give into it, I scolded myself. It was time to be strong, time for control.
I did not say or ask anything more. Opening my eyes, I dropped my hand away from my aching heart and took the car keys away from Alex's cold fingers. I would be driving.
The drive to the hospital was made in restless silence. The trip was long, almost an hour. I was assuming Sam lived near the hospital and it shamed me further to know we had hurt her enough, that she felt she needed to move so far away from us.
After parking, we hurried inside and went straight to the information desk. We were both upset, but I’d had more experience with blocking out my emotions, so I was the one who spoke to the nurse. As soon as we found out Sam's room number, we shot off to the elevators as quickly as we could.
When we exited, my nose wrinkled in disgust. I hated the smells in a hospital, a mixture of sickness and disinfectant. I could not control the shiver that went down my spine as I tried to breathe normally. It smelled like death waiting.
We walked down the long hallway until I noticed a pretty blonde was standing outside of a room, waiting. I recognized her as Liz, Sam's best friend. We had met a few times, but I didn’t acknowledge her as I passed. I wanted... no, I needed to see Sam first.
I heard Alex speak to Liz as I opened the door. I would have to thank Alex later for letting me have a moment alone with Sam first. The door clicked shut behind me, leaving the room quiet except for the soft drips of the IV and a few other noises made by machines I did not recognize.
Lying on the bed was a small woman wrapped tightly in hospital blankets. She was facing away from me, on her side, so that all I could see was her long brown hair spread out behind her. I hesitantly walked closer. Long dark lashed rested against her high cheekbones. Her soft lips were parted slightly and her breathing was even. She was asleep.
I stood silent, staring at the beautiful woman and detested how vulnerable she looked. Her skin was pale except for the dark bruises and scratches that marred her face and neck. I leaned closer. Were those burns?
At that moment, if the person who had hit her car were standing in front of me, I would have killed them. Hell, for all I knew, the accident could have been Sam’s fault, but my anger did not care. My fist clenched as I held back a curse by grinding my teeth together.
It was then I noticed her eyes had opened. The same sweet colors I saw every time my own lids lowered. They looked at me in sleepy confusion.
"Jordan," she croaked just as those dancing eyes began to glisten with unshed tears. Her lips trembled and I could not take it. My breathing became erratic and my heart pounded furiously. I could not stand there and watch what would happen next, what always happened. I refused to see her turn to stone like in my dreams.
Abruptly, I turned away from the most special woman I had ever known and walked out of her hospital room. I scarcely noticed that Liz and Alex had stopped talking and were staring at me.
I hurried by, my legs making long strides down the corridors. I barely registered the people that called out to me in irritation as I pushed past them roughly. I felt seconds away from a panic attack and I refused to lose such control.
All I could think about was getting away. Away from Sam and the accusations I would see in her eyes and more importantly, away from the disgrace and agony I felt for letting her down.
~ 8 ~
Alex
I watched Jordan rush by a wide-eyed Liz and disappear into Sam's room. As anxious as I was to see her, I would talk to Liz first and let Jordan have a moment alone. Maybe he would do the same for me when he was finished. There was so much I wanted to say to Sam, but it would have to wait. First, I just needed to make sure she was okay.
"Hey Liz, how is she?"
Liz turned away from watching Jordan storm by and looked at me with one eyebrow raised
I shrugged. "He's just worried. So am I, so can you tell me what happened?"
“Thanks for coming."
She looked away and took a deep breath before turning back to me. Her blue eyes narrowed as she crossed her arms over her chest.
"I wasn't sure if you would come and I am not completely convinced that I did the right thing by calling you."
I placed my hands in my jean pockets; my shoulders hunching a little. I knew what she meant. She wasn't sure if we could be trusted.
"I'm glad you did.”
Liz pursed her lips in anger. "Truthfully, I am more than a little pissed at you both. You hurt my friend."
I looked down at the floor and nodded. Hell, I was pretty pissed at myself as well, so I understood.
"But...”
My head jerked up. Liz’s blue eyes locked on mine.
“I know you care about her."
"You do?"
Liz nodded. Her angry expression had softened and I was surprised to see a slight smile playing on her lips.
"There are a lot of things you three need to work out and some things you should know, but first I have to tell you what’s going on."
"Okay," I said, a little confused about the 'things I should know' part, but I wanted to concentrate on Sam first. "So, what happened?"
"Car accident, like I told you on the phone. Some guy lost control at an intersection and slammed into Sam's car, luckily passenger's side."
"Was the guy drunk or something?"
Liz shook her head. "No, it was just a case of not paying enough attention. The man was in his late eighties. I heard the police say something about taking away his driver's license."
I just nodded, not knowing what to say. It sucked I wouldn't be able to see them throw some asshole in jail.
"So, how is she?"
"Doing pretty well, actually. She was unconscious when they pulled her out of the car, but thankfully, there was no severe head injury. The doctor thinks she passed out from shock. Her left arm is broken as well as her left ankle from banging into the driver’s side door. And besides a few bad bruises, scra
pes and burns, the rest of her is doing fine."
Liz said all of that in a matter of fact tone as if she wouldn't have to think about what all of that meant. She would not have to think about how close her friend came to being seriously injured or worse. The shine of unshed tear told me I was right.
I knew how she felt. Even though Liz just told me that Sam's injuries were not that serious, my heart continued to race. I needed to see her for myself.
I reached out, placing a comforting hand on Liz's shoulder. "Thanks," I said and started for the door.
"Wait, there's something else I need to talk to you about," Liz called just as Jordan burst out of Sam's room.
Not giving Liz or me a single glance, Jordan stormed down the hallway, almost taking down a nurse in the process.
"What was that all about?" Liz asked.
I turned away from watching Jordan’s retreating form to look at her. "I have no idea."
I was stunned but also a little worried. I hoped he hadn't upset Sam. Before I could go check, Liz stopped me again.
"Wait," she said urgently.
"What?" I snapped, getting frustrated. What could be so damn important? I needed to see Sam.
"Um, there's something else."
Liz looked both ways down the quiet hallway. I did the same noticing it was mostly empty except one nurse checking a chart far enough away not to hear our conversation.
My gaze swung back to Liz questioningly. I had not realized we were having a confidential discussion, but she looked nervous enough. Liz was actually ringing her hands and biting her bottom lip. It was surprising to see her that way. The few times we had met, she always had a cool confidence about her. She was definitely rattled.
"Tell me," I urged.
"I’m leaving for Europe in just a few days. It was something that Sam and I have known about for a while and before the accident, I was a little worried about leaving her alone, but she insisted she would be fine. Now, she really is going to need help."
"Can't you cancel the trip?" I asked cautiously.
I was not completely sure where she was going with the conversation, but I had a feeling, a hopeful feeling.
"What about her parents?" I asked as an afterthought.
She shook her head. "Her parents are doing the usual, traveling around the country. She called them and assured them she was all right. Of course they went back to doing what they do best, avoidance. I think they're in New Mexico right now."
I shook my head and blew out an exasperated breath. Those people never made any sense to me. They seemed like good parents in some ways, but they couldn’t take the time to visit their only daughter? Even when she was laid up in a hospital bed after a debilitating accident?
"And no," she continued. "I cannot cancel the trip. The traveling is part of my job and if I don't go, there is a good chance I will be fired. I promised I would take care of Sam and the...." She paused a moment, her gaze darting around nervously.
I felt my eyebrows pulled together. What in the hell was going on with her? She was acting out of character and I was ready for her to get whatever she was trying to say over with.
After a brief moment, Liz took a deep breath and seemed to pull herself together. I was rather impressed at how she could go from looking so anxious and unsure one minute to confident and bold another.
With a much steadier voice, she said something so shocking and unreal it had me speechless.
"I can't lose my job because I promised I would take care of Sam...and the baby."
My brain went numb, just shut off. I know my face probably looked funny with my mouth hanging open and my eyes blinking rapidly, waiting for different words to come out of her mouth. Baby? Whose baby?
"Whose baby?" My voice sounded distant. Damn, I was starting to feel a little lightheaded.
Liz nodded slowly, as if she knew what I was really asking. "Well, she is either yours or Jordan's."
"So, the abortion was cancelled?" I was so confused.
Licking her lips she said, "Yeah, you will have to talk with Sam about that. Right now I need to know if you are willing to take care of her while I am gone."
Oh yeah, that was what we were getting at. My mind was still on the baby news. Liz called it a girl. I was having a baby girl. Oh my God, Sam didn't have an abortion!
My mind raced. Shit! I didn't know which way to go. A mixture of emotions assaulted me all at once. I was pissed Sam had kept her continued pregnancy a secret. However, I also was ecstatic that she had kept our baby and then fear shot through. Would she let me be a part of their lives?
Liz cleared her throat.
"Oh...eh...yeah," I stumbled over my words. It seemed actually speaking was becoming a bit difficult. So was standing up. I leaned my back against the wall for support.
"Eh, sure, I can help take care of her. Do you think she will be okay with this?"
"She has to be," Liz shrugged. "Listen, I have told her she needed to come clean with you guys and truthfully, I think she would have eventually. But right now she needs you. With those broken bones and the pregnancy, she really will have a hard time getting around."
I just nodded my consent, feeling scared and yet excited about being with Sam again, even if only to take care of her for a short time.
Plans began forming in mind almost instantly. Screw what Jordan thought! I wanted Sam back and I was going to do everything in my power to make it happen.
I loved her and our baby. I didn't care if the baby might possibly be Jordan's. The baby and Sam were mine, had always been mine. It was time to grovel, to show Sam how important she was to me.
Liz and I talked a little more about getting Sam's things from their house. I planned to be ready before she was discharged in two days. When I brought her home, she would have all she needed, for a month anyway. We could figure out the rest later.
I took a quick peek into her room. She was asleep so I slipped inside and quietly studied her. I did not want to wake her and stood a few feet away from the bed. She lay on her side looking so small and pale against the white hospital blankets. My gaze traveled over her bruised face to the casts covering her arm and ankle. It was then that I noticed her belly.
My chest tightened with the need to touch her, to place my hands on her stomach. I wanted to feel connected in some way, but I refrained from going any closer. She needed her rest.
I had decided the best course of action would be to wait until she was ready to leave before I told her that she would be staying with me.
She would sleep in my room, in my bed where she belonged and, as bad as it sounded, I did not want her having time to think or argue. Throwing it on her at the last minute would stun her enough to get her home with the least amount of struggle.
Sam shifted slightly, stirring the air and I took a deep breath through my nose. It was difficult, but I caught her light scent just beneath the smell of heavy disinfectant. I had missed that smell. Soon, I thought, it would be on my pillow.
The cat in me roused, ready to claim what was his. I had been pushing the impulse back since the day I met Sam, knowing nothing permanent could become of our relationship, but no more. The cat and I were one, no separate thoughts or wants. Sam was mine and my cat instincts demanded I protect my territory.
I had to get out of there soon. If someone were to walk in and see me, they would be scared shitless. I didn't need a mirror to know my eyes had turned. They gave off an inhuman glow when I began the change.
That was another thing that needed to be discussed between Sam and me, but first things first. It was time to find Jordan and explain my plan. I didn't really give a shit if he agreed or not, but he had a right to know.
~ 9 ~
Alex
"I cannot believe you're doing this."
Jordan's words sounded harsh, as was his usual way of speaking. We were driving to Sam and Liz's house to pack a few of Sam's things.
Jordan had not been happy with my plan, but I held my ground. Sam would be living w
ith us for the next month at least, hopefully longer. Nothing Jordan said was going to change my mind. Best friend or not, I decided that if he could not handle having Sam around, he could move. Hell, I thought, if things got too bad, Sam and I could move. Once she healed of course.
The idea had just been a passing thought, however, it began to linger, develop. It would be nice to have a house Sam and I could raise a family in. Maybe one with a big back yard and a swing set for the baby.
I sighed. Of course, all those plans depended upon Sam forgiving me. I planned to give it my best try.
I glanced over at Jordan. He looked more anxious than his irritated words implied. He was fidgeting, going between rubbing the back of his neck to wiping the palms of his hands against his jeans. I watched his throat move as he swallowed hard and furrowed my brows in thought.
I had another obstacle. I had not told Jordan about the baby. I knew it was a sore subject with him. He would explode at the mere mention of Sam’s pregnancy. I knew his reaction was rooted by guilt, but I made the decision to let Sam tell him when she was ready. I only hoped he did not fly off the handle like he had the last time she told him she was pregnant.
For all of Jordan's bravado, he was a wreck without Sam. He loved her as much as I did, but would not or maybe could not, admit it. Would he ever want her back? If he did want to work things out, we would have to decide if we could share.
For the most part, sharing had worked in the past. It had been great, but that was for a casual relationship. I was thinking about the future, hoping for a forever.
Keeping one hand on the wheel, I rubbed my forehead with the other. I was getting ahead of myself again. All of it depended upon Sam. She could decide she wanted only one of us or maybe neither. On top of everything, there were still too many secrets between us. Only time would tell, and if Jordan wanted in the running, he needed to get his head out of his ass.
“I am, so get over it." I said as I pulled into the driveway at the address Liz had given me.